


Soul's Shadow

by TardisGhost



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: And he wants a pet, Angst, Enemies to Friends, Episode: s02e08 The Impossible Planet, Episode: s02e09 The Satan Pit, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Hypnotism, If You Squint - Freeform, Morally Ambiguous Character, Non-Graphic Violence, Post-Episode: s03e13 Last of the Time Lords, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Telepathy, Tenth Doctor Era, The Master Has Issues, This got much darker than planned, Thoshei, but also some episodes, dark topics, mostly original content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:01:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 50
Words: 117,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24144052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TardisGhost/pseuds/TardisGhost
Summary: There is a young woman, whom the Doctor doesn't want as a companion. There is the Master, who's sick of being a prisoner. There is a connection, needing to be explored. And the void is reaching out to claim what was never meant to be.
Relationships: Tenth Doctor & Original Character(s), Tenth Doctor & The Master (Simm), The Master (Simm)/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 226
Kudos: 90





	1. Part I - A gun and a train-ride

**Author's Note:**

> Hellooooooooooo!  
> This is unexpected... but here I am, bored and still not out of ideas what to do with the Master, lol. Besides... everyone seems to write these self inserts nowadays, and it's kinda fun to imagine oneself in these situations, isn't it? Especially when you're an extremely weird person, lmao.
> 
> No idea how long this will get, or how frequently I'll update it. I also won't tell you which of those infos about me are true and which are not. ;P
> 
> Aaaaand, last, but not least. This is not (really) a love story. Or rather not a romance story? Love takes on many forms and I don't think this will fit anywhere in the typical romance genre... If you are confused now, so am I. xDDDD
> 
> Have fun! °v°/
> 
> * * *
> 
>  **Trigger warnings:** I try to stay as non-explicit as I can, because it's not the story's focus.  
> Still, there are some sexual undertones and also dark topics in here, such as morally twisted actions, suicide and minor violence.
> 
> And also a tiny hint of Thoshei here and there. It's subtle - mostly - but it's there. 👀👀👀

Have you ever awoken in the middle of a murky night, your mind still caught within the last remnants of a fading dream, only to hear a sound so alien you were sure it mustn't belong to the waking world? Like the wheezing and whooshing of engines, yet unknown to mankind.

Did it haunt you?

Did it follow you around like the aftertaste of a bitter nightmare? Did it rip into your day and gnawed at the strands of sanity that hold yourself together?

Maybe you also once stood in front of an old blue police box, barely even noticing its existence, even though it's mere presence tore through your already tired mind.

Maybe you even heard the name _Doctor_ already, outside of the profession, whispered, shouted; you read it in a story, found it, hidden in the graffiti on a subway wall.

I can assure you, here and now, that you are not crazy. And that he is very real indeed. He is and was and will be there, among us, with us, unseen, but always keeping us safe.

However, he is not the only one out there, let me tell you. Not the only lonely traveller on a journey without a course. There are other stories. Such of a man, so cruel in nature he had to be locked away, hidden from the universe so he could never do it harm again. It is told, his hearts are of ice and nothing could ever stop him from finding ways to hold the entirety of time and space within his blood soaked hands.

Those are all too real as well.

And there is one other story, about a traveller without a name, a shadow cast in the blackness of the void. A forgotten soul, the unwanted child of humankind, the...

Okay, okay, that's a little melodramatic. But come on... I am a writer after all! Let me have some fun, yeah? If I'm supposed to write this all down, I can do it properly. The Doctor said, keeping a journal might help my memories to stay where the belong – but a mere journal sounded really boring, so here we are.

Ready?

Oh, wait, you might want a few details about me, first. You know, all this stuff that helps a reader to picture the protagonist. Hm, where to start?

Maybe with the fact that people often think I'm still a teenager, because I seem to look quite young (it's so annoying to always have to show my ID whenever I want to buy some alcohol. Seriously). And there I was already 30 when this all started.

If you wonder how I might look... well... Probably as less my gender as I look my age. Guess some people think I'm a boy... or a lesbian. I don't know. My hair are trimmed to a short pixie cut and brown in colour, as are my eyes. My extremely bad eyes, I might add. They are always hidden behind a pair of nerdy glasses. (Hey, I like them, okay!) I also feel like a dwarf with my 1,57m height... but dwarves are cool, so that's okay. (No, I don't have a beard!)

That should suffice for now. You're probably more interested in the adventure-y stuff. Before everything properly started, I met the Doctor once, only briefly. And I literally bumped into him.

Tousled brown hair, chocolate brown eyes and a long brown coat. That was all I could make out, as he stared down at me, blinking perplex.

"What is it, Doctor?" a woman asked from behind. She had dark skin and long hair.

Behind her followed a tall guy in a military style coat. (Wish I had bumped into _him_ instead.)

"Nothing, nothing," the man, who had been called Doctor answered, carefully grabbing my shoulders to guide me a step to the side. "Sorry for bumping into you. We're on a hurry."

"Uh... err... it's okay," I stammered. "Nothing happened. I mean... _I_ bumped into _you_... but... uh. Sorry?"

"Hello there," the tall one greeted with a toothy smile that made me blush a little.

"Jack!" the Doctor called. "Not now!"

"I only said hello!"

"Hello," I sheepishly replied back, lowering my head a little, unsure what else to say. The roguish wink Jack gave me made me smile, though.

"Anyway, we have to get away as fast as possible, if you'll excuse us." The Doctor tapped his forehead and strode away, followed by his strange companions.

They all seemed in quite the rush, and I wondered if they might be late for an appointment, a party or whatever people occupied themselves in groups. I... I'm not much of a social person myself. Too awkward and weird... People usually don't like that, so they avoid me, mostly.

Later I saw them all on TV, found out they were being chased by the police and deemed extremely dangerous. (Well... wouldn't have minded to be abducted by that military coat guy.)

This was the first time we met. The second time was surrounded by a lot more ruckus, and years after the infamous election. I vaguely remember the telly showing the president getting shot by an alien creature, while newly elected Prime Minister Saxon made a face as if it was his birthday gift.

The time after that is... strange. They explained to me, later, what had happened and that everyone forgot about a whole year that actually never happened. What was even stranger, though, was that I was convinced they had put Saxon in jail for murder.

So, suddenly seeing him in person was probably the last thing I would have ever expected.

He didn't look exactly the same, though. Before, he had been clean shaven, now he had grown a thin goatee. And instead of a black suit, he now wore a blood red dress-shirt with a black waist coat and black dress pants and shoes.

But no doubt, it was him, marching down a road of my hometown, his look so dark it made me shiver.

"Keeping me as his pet, my ass," he grumbled to himself. "I'll show him. He'll regret it... And what are _you_ staring at?"

I winced in surprise, my eyes widening as I realized he had addressed me, because I was staring at him like some idiot. My mouth opened and closed and all I could do was to mutter a barely audible 'sorry'.

"You want a real reason to feel sorry, kid?" he asked and a grin spread on his lips that could only be described as evil. "I could make you go home and murder your parents, how about that?"

I blinked perplex at him. Once, twice. "I... don't live with them anymore."

"Pah, I don't care." He rushed over to me, hands in his pockets, towering above me, although slightly bent down towards my face. His eyes had a fascinating warm hazel colour, but were so cold and angry at the same time. And old. "You'll make a good toy. I'll use you to get revenge on the Doctor."

"D... Doctor?" I remembered the short strange encounter from years ago. Somehow it seemed connected. "That guy in the long brown coat?" I asked, wondering if he meant the same man. "I ran into someone like that, long ago... right before you killed... uh... oops." I probably shouldn't have let slip that I knew who he was.

In the same moment my phone, that I had in my hands the whole time, vibrated shortly and I peeked down at it. Second mistake. Never take your eyes off a villain. Even if your favourite Pokémon is just spawning on your screen.

Saxon ripped the phone out of my hands and glared at it for a few seconds, then back at me, and I swallowed, but smiled shyly.

"Don't break it. Can't afford a new one."

"Breaking that thing will be your last problem." He chuckled darkly and let my device vanish into his pockets.

"Hey! I need it!"

"And what," he bent down to my eyelevel, his gaze boring into mine, "are you willing to do to get it back?"

Once more I swallowed, feeling my pulse race. That phone was the only thing connecting me to people in the real word, instead of only having internet friends from who knows where on the planet. Such a silly thing as a game, enabling my socially awkward self to be tolerated by other human beings.

"I... don't know. I'm not really good at anything, I'm not strong or fast or... whatever." I turned my head away, feeling unfittingly embarrassed in the face of this lunatic, muttering, "I'm probably as useless to you as to everyone else, sorry."

There was a long pause in which Saxon straightened a little, but not enough to lose his threatening aura. My eyes darted back to his face, and although I usually avoid eye contact like the pest, I couldn't help but seek his gaze once again. Something about those eyes fascinated me, as if there was something hidden within them, something that exceeded a human's capacity of understanding.

"Sorry..." he repeated my last word with disbelieve in his voice, but then grinned. "Want to do something mean so badly?"

"Wha'? N... no! No, I don't!" I protested, my voice dying down quickly, my eyes seeking the ground again.

"Look up." His voice was now low and commanding, so I automatically obeyed. "In exactly two hours you'll pick a person and you will kill them," Saxon demanded while pushing a small gun into my hands.

An indescribable tingling moved through my head, rested at my crown and almost gave me a headache. I pinched my eyes shut, trying to get rid of it, while his words still rang in my mind. This was insane! Why would I do that? Why was he so sure I would? Why did he behave as if nothing could happen to him, no matter what he did - or made people do.

The again... he had murdered the president and was, obviously, still a free man.

"Could you?" I asked quietly. "Just kill someone and get away with it?"

He laughed out loud, taking a step back, before he observed me further. "Doesn't work on you, eh? What a pity. But sure, I could."

My hands clutched the small gun to my chest, tears welled up in my eyes as I glanced back at him.

"Don't even try and shoot me," he snickered. "I'd be too fast. Before you can even-"

"No... I won't. But... but..." My hands started shaking at the mere fact that I even considered this. However, getting away with it, having no consequences to fear and two people I loved to safe, if only from their own weakness. "Any person?" I asked.

"Whomever you choose. But since my hypnotism doesn't work on you..."

"And you can assure no one will know I did it?" I interrupted, although I wondered what he was talking about.

Saxon stilled and glared at me for a small eternity. Slowly the corners of his mouth twitched upwards, until there was a wide, toothless smile plastered on his face. He was clearly enjoying this moment.

"Oh, there will be _one_ person, whom I'll have to tell." He held a finger over my lips to silence my unspoken protest. "But he won't be interested in following you. It's just the game we play, I and the Doctor. This sanctimonious bastard."

"I... I don't want to spent the rest of my life in jail. There is just..."

"And I don't care for your boring reasons." He waved my words away, grabbed my collar and drew me in front of his face. "I will drench your hands in blood and watch the horror in his face with delight. _Then_ I'll steal his TARDIS, and _then_ he can stay with you apes on this dumpster of a planet and rot."

There it was again. Something flashing behind his eyes, ancient and raw and... sad. And there I was, never able to resist a mystery, not caring at all what it might do to me. And there I also had gotten this one opportunity I had thought about so many times already.

So I simply nodded and he finally let go of my clothes and strode away.

"Come."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like the story, please leave some kudos and comments. I always love to read what people think! :3


	2. Part I (II)

He was already a few steps ahead before I got my body to react and follow him, the gun still in my hands. The metal had gotten warm from my own body temperature, but the weight and feeling was still so uncanny. I wondered if it was even loaded, and if so, why he would give it to me just like that. Right here and an now I would be able to simply shoot him in the back - and I was rather certain he wouldn't be able to avoid it _this_ far away.

With a sigh I stuffed the weapon into my small shoulder bag. This was all just a weird dream anyway, right? Speaking of which... I pinched my nose shut with my fingers, trying to breathe through it anyway. When this didn't succeed I counted my fingers... twice. And finally pulled out a crumbled receipt from my pocket to read its content.

Alright... all reality checks indicated that I, indeed, was awake. No lucid dream for me, then. I frowned and sighed. Both, because it would have been cool, and because it meant I was awake and this was really happening.

"Where are we going, Mr. Saxon?" I asked eventually, when he walked down an alley I had rarely used before.

"Don't call me that. It's not my name."

"Oh, sorry," I mumbled and managed to get next to him. He wasn't _that_ big, actually, compared to me he was, of course, but still not so much. And he looked rather cool in those clothes, sparkling the unfitting wish in me to sit down and draw him. I coughed slightly to get my head clear. "What _is_ your name, then?"

The stranger turned around, halted in his steps and observed me for a few seconds.

"I am the Master," he announced with a proud smile.

"Of what?"

"Huh?"

"Master of _what_?" I wanted to know.

He raised a brow and shrugged, grinning boyishly. "Of everything."

I couldn't help it. My stupid brain just never stands still. "Well, not of Great Britain anymore,"

Instead of murdering me, the Master only let out a short laugh. It sounded honestly amused, though, making me smile a little myself. At least he seemed to have some humour.

"Oh, one day the universe itself will be mine, just you watch me," he said sweetly, like a boy telling his mom he wants to become a pilot.

Somehow the Master felt so childish and boyish, it was hard to believe he was the same man whom almost all of Britain had wanted as Prime Minister.

My thoughts briefly wandered back to that time, trying to puzzle together what exactly he had even told people. Something flashed behind my eyes, too quickly gone to really grasp. Images, impressions. Screams and smoke and round objects flying through the sky. I blinked perplex and shook my head.

"What's with you?" the Master bowed down a little, curiously observing my puzzled features.

"N... nothing. Just slept bad, 's all."

He shrugged and straightened again, wanting to continue the walk, however turning around once more. "And what do they call _you_?"

"Call...? Oh... I'm Lucy."

His face dropped instantly, morphing into an expression of annoyance and almost hate. "You have any other names?"

"Nooo..." I responded carefully. "What's wrong with it?"

The Master grunted and rolled his eyes. "My former wife's name. And that beasty thing tried to shoot me. Missed, of course. Never held a gun in her life before, but still..."

"Oh. Sorry."

"I'll just call you Lu, how about that?" He smiled again. "Alternatively we can settle on _stupid earth ape_."

"That's a bit long, innit?" I chuckled. "Lu's fine. But still, where're we going?"

"A shortcut into town."

"Oh.... I see. Say..." Again I felt my heart pounding wildly in my chest. Was I really about to do this? "The person I choose... do they have to live nearby?"

The Master tilted his head. "I have no TARDIS, right now. So, wherever they are, you have to get us there."

_What the hell was a TARDIS?_

I nodded. "Can you... mhm... get money? I mean, lots of it. Without anyone noticing it, of course. I... don't have much."

His eyes glinted happily. "No problem."

.oOo.oOo.oOo.

The landscape rushed past the window, trees and fields, villages and cities, all a blur of colour. It had gotten evening, the sky took on soft dark shades, and orange and white lamps faded into light. Sometimes the train halted, and the later it got, the less people entered or exited. Sometimes the stations were completely empty and through the window seeped the smell of foreignness.

"As a child I always imagined to go on a ride like this," I mumbled dreamily, "and simply get off the train at one of those empty, black stations. Not knowing where I am, or where to go."

The Master sat opposite to me, arms folded over his chest, eyes closed and his head resting against the window. He wasn't asleep, that I could tell. He didn't _feel_ asleep, more relaxed, in a weird way.

"You like long train rides, too, huh?"

He smiled, his eyes creeping open. "It's so nicely quiet."

"Quiet..." I repeated absently, my gaze wandering back to the darkness-covered world outside. "Trains are so loud, though. I like how they sound. As if the wheels on the tracks are singing a song."

His gaze rested on me, I felt it intensely and looked at him, eventually. Although we had the lights dimmed in our compartment I could still see his eyes. And like before they fascinated me. Usually I can't look people in the eyes for long. It always feels so overwhelming, distracting, downright unpleasant. Because of that they often think I'm not listening... But I understand a lot more when I don't have to look. With the Master it was different, as if his gaze wasn't constantly searching for a way to call me out, to tell me how inhuman I behave and rub it into my face. He just didn't care.

"That's a hellishly long ride to get rid of a person," he remarked after we parted from another station.

My gaze kept glued to the window, but I still nodded. The sound of the train lulled me into a light slumber, brought me back to some hours ago, when the Master had entered a bank only to walk over to the banker and had told him to hand him a hundred thousand Euros. Astonished I had watched the scene, had glared at the Master with an opened mouth when he pushed the bag into my hands.

I had to transfer most of it to my bank account, not wanting to carry it all around with me, and the rest of the way my thoughts turned summersaults. I could finally pay back all of my student debts! I could afford a brand new gaming PC, a bike or... a bed.

Thinking about my almost empty apartment I concluded it would be wise to start with the basics. I hadn't been able to afford furniture, so far, my belongings only consisting of a mattress on the floor, a shaky table and chair for my laptop and three cupboards that could - with lots of good will - be called a kitchen. Heck! I didn't even own a fridge!

Now, all of a sudden, none of it was a problem anymore. I was free, I had enough to live for at least a few years, in case my bad luck with finding jobs would continue.

And all that for the price of a human life.

"Who is it?" the Master asked, as if he had read my thoughts.

The question tore me out of the thoughts, bringing me back to the present moment, and also to a past long gone, to the time of my childhood - if you can call it that - to years of fear and being caged in. None of it was his busyness.

"You didn't want to know."

"Now I do," he countered calmly.

"Because it's quiet?"

An almost pained smile appeared on his face. I had hit a point, although I had no clue what it was about. Only another puzzle piece for my pattern oriented mind, another snipped about the strange man in front of me, that once had been known by every person in the country, but was now unrecognized, as it seemed.

"What happened when you became Prime Minister?" I couldn't help but ask, ignoring his own question. "I remember the spheres killing the president, but then..." Again, images whizzed through my head, probably created by my brain to fill the gaps. A brain can do that... create false memories, because remembering _something_ at all is better than having a hole in your head.

"I took over the earth," the Master told with a grin. "First I decimated the human race, then had some fun with you all." He snickered. "Wiped out Japan, built a police state, let my Toclafane decimate a few more of you, here and there. You know... just for fun. Humans reproduce so fast, it almost doesn't matter."

I only blinked at him, confused.

"No, you didn't."

"Well, you wouldn't remember. It all was based on a paradox, so it never happened."

Again I blinked. There was something in my mind, pieces that got put together, a pattern, evolving from the net of information and thoughts in my head. Then it clicked.

"You're alien, too, aren't you?"

It made sense. Looking back at the attacks on earth, so far, his strange behaviour, the weird terms he always used, the way he felt so different... I glanced back into his eyes, knowing it to be true, no matter if he would deny it now or not. No human could have such eyes.

"What if?"

"Hm..." I made, noncommittally, shrugged and drew my legs up on the seat to wrap my arms around them. "A paradox..." I thought out loud, leaning my head against the window. If he _was_ alien then it was possible he had the technology to make something like that possible. "You really did all those things, then?"

A childish smile let his eyes crinkle with joy. "Scared now?" he teased and gave me a mock-pout. "It's not the worst thing I've ever done, if that consoles you."

It didn't. But that he wasn't a good person had been obvious right from the start. I probably should have been scared, should have risked jumping from the train only the get away from this man. Strangely enough my heart was calm, my mind only tired because it was so late already.

No, I wasn't scared... yet. Had he been human I would have assumed he was a psychopath, but somehow that didn't quite fit him. There was more to the Master, a calmness behind the chaos in his eyes, a softness, buried beneath the ocean of blood and cries he seemed to have left behind. An image flashed through my head, of him kneeling in the rain, crying out an unspeakable pain, without anyone every listening.

I blinked it away. It happens sometimes, my brain just creating scenes and images from what I pick up from other people. No idea if I'm really that empathic... Or if it's more like with blind people... I can't read body language and facial expressions so well, but instead I somehow can sense people's moods and feelings, without even looking at them. I think everyone can do that, but most people don't _have_ to.

"How is it?" I mumbled. "To take a life."

The Master smiled and leaned forward, hands folded in his lap. "Exciting. You finally understand how much power you have, what you're capable of, and that no one can stand in your way any longer." He chuckled a little. "You'll see for yourself."

I swallowed and glanced away. Rain started to trickle down the window and I closed it, listening to the added sound of drops against glass. So soothing, distracting me from what was ahead.

"You're an odd one," the Master remarked quietly. "About to commit murder, but you don't even look bothered about it. And there you humans are so annoyingly moral."

"I don't understand moral," I softly admitted and shrugged. "There usually is no logic behind it. It's just things you don't do, because you... _don't do it_. But no one ever tells you, why."

The Master laughed quietly to himself and leaned back again, signalling the conversation to be over. I didn't mind, feeling tired anyway. Good thing those seats were long. I slipped out of my shoes, lifted my legs up, while taking my glasses off and placing them on top of the trash bin.

"Wake me, when we're there," I mumbled and curled myself up on the seat.


	3. Part I (III)

Of course I couldn't sleep. What did I even await? Would have been the first time in my life I'd manage to sleep in a train. My family and I used to visit my Grandfather in the summers, who lived in a different country. We always took the overnight train. And never could I sleep.

A hand over my mouth shot me out of the light pseudo-slumber I had, however, managed to slip into. Confusion and sleepiness clouded my thoughts, the events of the evening seeping only slowly back into my mind.

"Shhh," the Master made. He now sat on my side of the compartment, hand over my mouth, eyes glued to the door. "Don't make any noise."

I groggily nodded and sat up as soon as he retreated his hand. It was still dark outside and there was no indication of danger, no sounds that didn't belong, not even a foreboding feeling in the pit of my stomach. My hand searched for my glasses and slid them up may nose. Curiously I then leaned past him, watching the small window in the top half of the door.

For quite a while nothing at all happened, but eventually the Master lost his tense state and relaxed visibly.

"Must be really bad if it scares _you_ ," I mumbled, still leaned forward to watch the door.

He turned his head in my direction, amusement in his hazel eyes. "I'm not scared. I just don't want him to have you, yet."

"Him..." I peeked up. "This Doctor?"

"Yeah, I think, he's gone, though."

I let out a yawn and leaned back into the seat, sinking a little together and resisting the urge to snuggle up on the man next to me. I'm a horribly cuddly person and almost no one is ever save from that. But for once I refrained from my comfort-seeking, for the sake of my very life.

"Who is the Doctor?" I asked, glancing back up at the Master.

He huffed, but smiled. "An idiot who thinks he can make the universe a better place. Runs around and saves apes like you, so they fall for him and then he keeps them as pets until they break. And then he calls _me_ the bad one and ruins all my nicely conducted plans."

"We're not apes anymore," I weakly protested with a pout.

"Right... apes are smarter."

"Careful, you handed this brainless ape a gun," I dryly countered with narrowed eyes.

"Yeah..." His eyes crinkled with joy. "And you're not using it."

"Touché." I chuckled and stared out of the window, my thoughts circling around the few snippets of information I had gathered. The whole time I could feel the Master's eyes on me, but, strangely enough, it didn't feel threatening; more like careful curiosity. Eventually I peeked back shyly. "Is he like you? The Doctor, I mean."

The Master scrunched up his nose, disgust clearly showing in his gaze.

"I mean... is he _alien_ , too?" I added. "And how could he appear on this train? And... vanish again."

"We're the same species, yes. But we're complete opposites."

There was an unbelievable amount of contempt in his voice, as if the mere thought of the other man would make him throw up at every moment. it appeared they shared quite some history, I silently concluded.

"So, he is the good guy, then?" I pondered. "Because _you_ 're clearly the villain in this story."

One of his brows shot up, his lips pursing slightly, but then stretching to an almost charming smile. He leaned towards me a little. "So, you think I'm a bad person?"

"Obviously," I deadpanned and counted fingers up. "You killed the President, you said you basically tortured the whole planet for a year, _and_ you said it wasn't even the worst thing you ever did. Well... and then there's the whole thing about you using me to make another person feel bad..." My hand lowered and I grinned up at him. "That basically screams 'villain' in huge flashing letters to me."

Somehow the proud smirk on his features didn't surprise me. He looked so boyish in that very moment that I couldn't help, but continue grinning even wider.

Only for a moment, though, before his hands shot forward and were around my throat, squeezing hard enough to strangle all air out of me. Perplex and surprised and more out of reflex than anything else I lunged out and tried to get him away, panic arising within myself. I barely noticed the look of anger and the hint of madness that clouded his eyes all of a sudden, as he pushed me down into the seat, almost kneeling over me.

"What's there to grin about?" he growled in a cold tone as he leaned his head down to me. "You think I'm making fun? You think I'm just telling stories?"

I tried to kick him, my hands ripping at his, my lungs burning from the lack of air. My head got lighter, black dots starting to dance in front of my eyes.

And suddenly I could breathe again.

Greedily I sucked in all air I could get, coughing and panting, unable to speak a word for what felt like minutes, my body trembling uncontrollably. Finally I stared upwards, saw the Master still kneeling over me, his hands still on my throat, but not squeezing anymore. His eyes were dark and cold, telling more than words ever could, how less he cared about me being alive or not.

"Are you afraid, now?" his low voice asked.

Another breath, and two more. I closed my eyes, feeling the fast rhythm of my heart, listening deep inside me to find an answer to his question.

"You won't let me survive this, right?" I muttered instead.

There it was again, the smile, so cruel and cold. _Fuck_. It really was inappropriate to find your future murderer so fascinating. It almost made me laugh again, but I managed to hold back.

Finally he let go of me and slipped back onto the seat next to me, letting me get up.

"No, I won't," he answered late with the same cruel smile.

Carefully I sat up, rubbing my sore throat. That hadn't been the first time I had been close to death... but it always was a daunting experience. I let out a shaky sigh, trying to get a hold of my emotional state. It would catch up with me sooner or later, but right now everything inside of me was simply all over the place.

At least my breath and heart rate decided to normalize again, the lack of adrenalin allowing the outside world back into my head, the noises of the train, of raindrops pattering against the window, the atmosphere of our compartment.

I glanced up, one hand curled above my heart as if it would help anything. This was real. Not some weird dream, not something I had made up in a reverie. It was happening, right here and now.

The Master stared back at me, lips twitching upwards at my shook sight.

"Scared?"

I slowly nodded. "Yes."

He hummed content, smirking satisfied. And as if I suddenly had gotten boring he then focused on the window and the rain outside. For a few more seconds I looked at him, wondering what could make a person act like this, be the way he was, and still radiate this oddly warmth.

But I would never get an answer to those questions, right? All the money in my bank account, whether the police would every find out anything... It all wouldn't matter in a short time. And there was nothing I could do about it.

"Do you... remember the people you kill?" I quietly asked.

He shrugged. "Depends."

"Will you remember _me_?"

No answer.

I breathed out another deep sigh, closed my eyes and leaned back in the seat, nestling myself to the Master's side. It almost seemed as if he didn't notice, but eventually I felt him shift a little, looking down at me and eventually back at the window.

"I might," he uttered into his beard, too quiet to make out his tone of voice.

There I was, rejected by my own kind, about to die from the hands of an alien. A small smile crept over my face. No one would ever notice that I'm gone, but at least I wouldn't go unremembered. The thought was weirdly soothing, as was the fact that the Master didn't move away. And like that, without me even noticing, I drifted into a deep, dreamless slumber.


	4. Part I (IV)

A nudge into my side woke me up.

"We're there in half a n hour," the Master announced.

Groggily I blinked up at him, my eyes still heavy. Had I slept this deeply? My head felt like it was filled with a thick fog and I yawned widely.

Sleeping in a train... that was a first-timer.

Well... sleeping leaned against a lunatic mass murder who was about to end my own life, was also a first.

Did I imagine it or did the Master look peeved?

"What's with you?" I slurred. "Did I do somethin'?"

"You slept," he grumbled, eyes narrowed to annoyed slits.

I blinked again a few times, trying to get my brain to decipher the meaning behind why he mentioned this. Was he mad because I used him as a pillow? Then why hadn't he just moved away? Again I yawned and stretched a little.

"Not nearly long enough," I mumbled.

The Master gave off a low growl of sorts.

"What? Haven't done a thing," I protested meekly.

His eyes narrowed even further, lips pursing slightly. "How can you sleep with me? You should be way too frightened to close an eye."

Alright, my brain decidedly was still too tired to process this. I only shook my head and rubbed my eyes. "Dunno. 'M not sleeping too well, lately. Just tired as hell, 's all." I shrugged and slipped from the seat, one hand already on the door when I got grabbed at my jacket and pulled back.

"And where do you think you're going?" the Master snarled.

"Eh... toilet," I drawled. "Bet there is one nearby. Always is. And splash some water in my face. Gosh, I need coffee..."

He let go of me and poked my head. "You're even awake?"

"Noooo, sleepwalking. Don't you see?" I yawned again. "'S not as if I could run away or somethin'. We're on a friggin train. And I sure as hell don't wanna jump from it. So... if you excuse me." My hands gestured towards the door. "Or wanna come along and guard the toilet? Won't let you watch, that's for sure."

This time he let me and I slipped out into the empty corridor that was only illuminated by dimmed night lights. On my way I stopped at a window and glared outside, a small smile creeping over my face when I recognized a church tower in the distance, raising into the air against the dark sky. I always loved old architecture, even though I don't have a clue about it.

For the second time this night a hand lay itself over my mouth, a strong arm pulling me back and pressing me tightly against a thin body.

"Don't scream," a man's voice warned softly. "I won't hurt you. But the Master mustn't hear us."

I simply nodded and the hand vanished. At least I was somewhat awake now, turning around to face the same man I had bumped into not so long ago. He still wore his brown coat, a pinstripe suit and red converse. Weird style choice, but who am I to judge.

"You're the Doctor, aren't you?" I concluded uselessly. I mean, who else would he be?

A beaming smile split his lips, he nodded enthusiastically, then thumped behind him to signal me to follow him. My mind told me it would be the wiser choice, my gut told me he was someone I could trust - to a certain extend - and who wouldn't harm me. Still, my head turned back to the door I had just left and a small part of me was almost about to simply walk back.

Bad idea. Really, really bad idea. It would be useless to go undetected by any authorities if I wouldn't survive it anyway. Somehow it would still be worth it, for the sake of my Dad and my little sister. But no... I'm not that much of a good person to sacrifice myself like that.

Silently I followed the Doctor, watching his coat swaying with his steps, listening to the music of the train. Shortly after, we reached the end of the hallway and he opened a blue, wooden door. I glanced up and noticed a sign saying: _Police Box_.

"Huh?" I made perplex, but didn't dare to speak a word just yet.

The Doctor rushed inside and I simply followed, not knowing what else to do, but still wondering why they would put a thing like that in a train. Was it a decoration for some sort of party? The doors definitely lead to another part of the train, so... wait, no.

That certainly wasn't the train anymore. It was way too spacious and looked completely and utterly so much _not_ train-like at all.

Slowly I took a single step into the large round room, my eyes skimming over the coral shaped pillars, the weird round patterns on the bent walls, the downright alien looking table in the middle and the glass tube with the weird up and down sliding things inside. A warm blue-greenish light emanated from it, fell down to countless wires and levers and buttons and all sorts of things my mind couldn't even wrap around.

 _Alien_ , it shot through my head. _Those two really are aliens_.

"Could you close the doors?"

I looked at the Doctor, who beamed at my reaction, hands in his suit pockets, bouncing up and down on his heels. While I did what he said, he shrugged off the coat and threw it over what looked like an old jump seat. It was too far away from the console to be really useful in that place, though, probably only existing for when he needed to rest a little. Then again... my eyes found another door that probably lead deeper into the...

"It's a spaceship, isn't it?" I concluded. The Doctor beamed even wider, nodding enthusiastically, although it seemed he awaited something more. "And... you attached it to the end of the train?" I pondered. "We walked through a door and now we are here... so..."

"Wait a moment."

He shot towards the controls and started to push several buttons, then pumped a weird mechanism, flung some levers and I have no idea what else, but suddenly the whole ship shook so violently I stumbled backwards and almost landed on my bum.

Some weird mechanical noise filled my ears, one so strange it almost gave me a spontaneous headache, but was also weirdly soothing. It stopped too fast, though, to get used to it, and when I glanced back at the Doctor, his grin was even wider than before. He waved towards the doors.

"Come on, take a look."

"Are we flying now?" I wanted to know. "Felt like a pretty rough start... don't people see us?"

Somehow I wasn't so eager to open a door and stare into some unimaginable depths below me. I'm not too much afraid of heights, but I don't love them either. And who knew if that man wouldn't just push me out? All I knew about him, so far, were the things the Master had told me. And how much of his statements were believable at all was hard to guess. The Doctor could be an accomplice, he might be a worse person altogether.

_Heck, he isn't even human!_

I stayed put, frozen in place without knowing what actually to do. The Doctor tilted his head to the side, observing me as if I were some peculiar specimen he had never seen before.

"Normally people are so excited to rush out and see something new."

"Yeah, and then die horribly..."

"You're a cheery one," he remarked amusedly.

"Just careful." I shrugged and took a step away from the doors. "I can't even predict _human_ behaviour... who knows what you're planning with me."

The Doctor's face dropped and I almost felt a little sorry about my cautiousness. But then again had I been an easy target, in the past, for being too sympathetic. A thing other people loved to abuse and manipulate. And there was no way of telling how an alien would react.

"Ahhh, come on," he tried again, waving towards the doors. "Nothing out there that will eat you, promise." For a second his face turned thoughtful. "Probably. Can never be sure. But anyway..."

He tried to grab my hand, but I jolted backwards.

"What's that?" he mumbled more to himself. "Not afraid of the Master, but of me."

Somehow, in this very moment, I indeed felt a lot more scared than I had with the Master. With him I at least knew what I had to await. The Doctor was completely unpredictable to me. It's almost always like that when you can't read people, but having a non-human in front of you...

Suddenly the Doctor produced something from his pocket that almost looked like some sort of wand for a moment. A metallic one with a blue light, but still... the way he held it and started to wave it over me...

"Not hypnotized, good. Maybe... No... definitely human," he mumbled. "Some weird patterns in your brain, though."

"Dammit," I mumbled. "Don't look at me like that. I'm just autistic, not some eldritch abomination."

At that his eyes lit up and he came a few steps towards me, making me tense up again. But he only started to babble on, "Are you? Einstein too, did you know? They didn't know much about autism back then, though. Met him a few times, great man, although he keeps on trying to steal stuff from my TARDIS. I always tell him it would be unwise. Altering history never ends well..." He hurled towards the doors, clapping his hands. "Anyway, out with you! I'll go first, how about that?"

With that he strode to the entrance, pushing the doors open and... stepping outside. My mouth gaped open and my heart fell for a second, before my body sprang into action and let me run the few steps to the exit.

Instead of clouds, though, I glanced at a completely ordinary field of grass. There were trees in the distance and a few houses over a hill nearby. The Doctor stood there, bouncing up and down on his heels a little, a happy smile on his face.

"Whoa... that ship of yours is fast," I admired, unable to comprehend how we had gotten to this place in only a few seconds. Cautiously I sat a foot outside, feeling the ground below to convince myself it wasn't a hallucination. Then I turned around to take a first proper glance at the Doctor's ship and... "Uh... what?"

My eyes couldn't comprehend what they were seeing, leaving me with an opened mouth, gaping at the weird image in front of me. There on the grass stood the same small blue police box I had seen in the train and had thought of as only a decorative door. But it actually was the whole box, and there was absolutely nothing around it but grass and space.

I blinked, glanced at the Doctor to let the question appear if he could split his whole head with that grin, then I took a step, and another, slowly walking around the box to see if the rest of the ship might just be invisible to my eyes.

Nope.

My hands only reached into nothingness. Behind the box I peeked around the corner. The Doctor was still standing there, bobbing up and down on his heels.

"What do you think?" he finally asked happily.

"Well..." I came back to the front and opened the door, finding the same large room inside. "Considering everything I know about quantum physics, holographic universe theories and stuff... I'd say those doors lead into another dimension... of sorts." Thoughtfully I rubbed my chin, my brain running a thousand miles per hour, putting together every single useful and not so useful fact my nerdy mind could remember. "So... the outside moves, but the inside probably stays at a fixed position?"

"Weeeell... almost." Suddenly the look on the Doctor's face wasn't quite so happy anymore, as if he had awaited a different answer. He waved towards the box. "But what do you _see_?"

"Err... a police box. Okay, that's not what you wanna know, right? Oof, what else is there, beside it being bigger on the inside..." I stopped as the Doctor's face lit up once again.

"I always love when people say that," he announced. "Can't wrap their heads around it."

"No wonder. It's not a thing you normally see. And as much as I would love to know how it works, I probably wouldn't understand it, right?"

"Oh, not even we Time Lords know that. Not entirely, completely, in every small little detail, that is. A TARDIS is such a fascinating machine, we'll probably never stop learning about them. Took me years to even get her to land where and when I wanted."

There it was again. That word. "Tar...dis..." I repeated.

"T.A.R.D.I.S." he spoke every letter. "Time And Relative Dimension In Space."

"Is that the name of your ship? And why in English? Don't tell me your people live here." Which wouldn't be that surprising, honestly. I watched way too many conspiracy theories about aliens.

"Oh, no, no, they don't. And it's not her actual name," he admitted and his smile faltered almost unnoticeably, but then flashed back to its full brightness. "My granddaughter came up with the acronym."

Okay, not secretly living on earth, then. But...

"Wait... Granddaughter? You look way too young to have one..." I tilted my head, my brain coming up with at least twenty possible explanations at once.

"We age a lot slower," the Doctor told, nodding his head. "Among other things."

"And among all your weird and fascinating alien things here..." I sighed, stepping from one foot to the other. "Say, you don't happen to have a loo in that ship of yours?"


	5. Part I (V)

I let out a frustrated sigh after the tenth turn or so. The Doctor's directions weren't that helpful. Especially with my short-term memory and a sense of direction that were both quasi non-existent.

And it also didn't help that this bloody ship was ridiculously huge.

It was fascinating that all of this actually fitted into this tiny blue box. But it was also annoying when you needed a toilet... seriously.

A light hum in the air made me look up and around, but nothing was there that could be the origin. Maybe just the engines?

But then it was back, closer to my ear and it sounded... questioningly? I tilted my head in confusion, trying to find out what this could mean. My hand reached out to poke the air in front of me. Just in case there was something invisible.

Nothing.

"Hello?" I tried and the hum returned, a little louder. "Eh, okay, I'm talking to air." This time the hum sounded... amused. I startled and glanced around once again, but with the same result. "Someone there? Are you some board computer, maybe?" And quieter I added, "If so, can you lead the way? I'm a little lost in here."

Immediately a thin line of golden light appeared before my feet, leading me around a corner, where I saw a bunch of doors... changing. Where one had been an alien looking metal before, it was now an ordinary wood door. Carefully I opened it and peeked in, sighing relived when I found an ordinary bathroom inside.

"Thank you!" I said to the air and vanished inside to finally release my bladder and splash some water in my face. Back outside I listened for the weird hum. "Can... you lead me back to the Doctor? That would be nice of you."

The golden light appeared again and I couldn't help but smile widely at it. This definitely was some cool tech! Way better than Google Maps!

Back in the control room I found the Doctor tinkering with a weird looking monitor. He wore a pair of glasses and made a face as if nothing in the world would be able to distract him from whatever he was doing. But as soon as I entered the room he spun around and gave me a warm smile.

"Good, you're back!"

"Yeah, your board computer was quite helpful."

He raised both eyebrows. "I don't have one."

"Great..." I sighed, strolled over and let me fall into the jump seat. "I'm on an alien space ship and I talked to a ghost. That's not weird. Not at all.... nope." I chuckled, finding the whole situation way funnier than I probably should.

"Might have been the TARDIS helping," the Doctor concluded. "She does that sometimes."

"She..." I repeated quietly. "But not a board computer, huh? So, the ship is alive?"

"Weeeell..." The Doctor clicked his tongue, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes. "Probably not in a way a tiny human brain could comprehend." He ignored my eye-roll. "But yes. In a way she is."

"Right... why not." Tiredly I rubbed my eyelids, wishing for a cup of coffee in my hands.

"You must have tons of questions," the Doctor tossed in, tilting his head from one side to the other, observing me as if I were some curious animal. Maybe I was... being a different species than him and all... "First, though, let me tell you I'm sorry for what happened to you. This isn't something a human should have been dragged into."

"So you're not going to conquer earth and use our population as batteries?" I couldn't help but ask with a highly sarcastic undertone. Then something dawned on me and I straightened in the seat. "Your ship is super fast, Doctor. Can we land somewhere where there's coffee, maybe?"

"I'd prefer a cuppa tea, but sure, yes. Where do you wanna take it? Heard Felogeratia developed the perfect brew in 20 alpha 1200. Maybe a bit strong to the untrained stomach... How about Sherell? The isle of Glomburian is infamous for having the most expensive coffee in the Hanserlin galaxy."

"Eh... what? Never heard of those places. Galaxy?" I blinked my tired eyes a few times, before it clicked. "Oh... yeah... makes sense. You can travel away from earth, can' you? I mean... of course you can..."

"Yup!" he popped the 'p', grinning widely at my confused expression. "Everywhere you want."

I opened my mouth to respond, but there were no words coming out and I closed it again. I just came from a nightlong train ride to get to the other end of my own country. And now this man was telling me his ship could take us _literally_ everywhere in the universe.

"Dang, that's lots of places," I mumbled. "There isn't a Starbucks on some... just cool looking, weird place with... I don't know... floating, glowing jellyfish birds, a purple sky and yellow oceans?"

"Oh, how do you know about Cinpecka?! Lovely north pole around the summer times."

I snorted out a short laugh. "No. Just made that up. Don't tell me there really is a place like that? _With_ a Starbucks?"

"Weeell... You wouldn't like their equivalent of it... probably. But if you want weird and colourful - and coffee," he clapped his hands together, sprang to his console and started to push buttons and flip switches, "then I know _the_ place for you!"

"Wait. I'm not up for another long journey. Just let us..."

The whole ship shook violently and it took all my physical strength not to crumble to the floor. Maybe it was a good thing that my stomach was so empty. Only a few seconds passed, though, and we landed safely with the same weird noise I had heard before.

Smirking widely, the Doctor took a small step back and waved his hand towards the door, inclining his head slightly. "Have fun. Take it as a redemption for your troubles."

"We can't have... travelled to another planet." My eyes darted towards the door, then back to the outstretched hand. I slightly shook my head. "Not with any tech can it be possible to travel _that_ fast! It just... isn't?"

The smile never faded, the hand never lowered. And finally I sprang up from the seat, rushing towards the doors to pull them open.

" _You're heckin' kiddin' me, man_ ," I breathed out. "Th... that's a holodeck, right? Just a simulation. It... it can't be real! We can't have..."

The sky above my head wore a pleasantly dark turquoise, uncounted stars blinked in its velvet softness, and even though I wasn't too familiar with star constellations I couldn't find a single one of the few I remembered. Around us was an actual city, winding itself over a purple ocean. There were thousands of bridges, fragile looking and with delicate ornaments. The bridges were streets and fundament at once, holding the hundreds of round shaped houses in place. It was hard o make out if they were of stone or of some weird metal I had never seen before.

In the whole city was not a single street lamp to be found. Instead a faint glow emanated from the sea below, ever changing its colour from all shades of green and blue imaginable. Other than that there was only the orange glow from all the windows, and when I moved a few steps ahead I could also make out weird animals. Like birds, but translucent, without feathers and more swimming through the air than actually flying.

They seemed to be rather tame, one of the creatures floating right past my head, so I could take a good glance at it and find out they probably weren't flying on their own, but with the help of the swirl of luminescent particles flying around them.

A melodic whistle from behind me drew the attention of a small swarm of particles towards the Doctor. He held out his hand, palm facing upwards, and the tiny creatures came together as a collective swirl of light in his palm.

"Semi sentient light particles," he explained, eyes glinting fascinated. "They aren't really alive, you know? But nonetheless they are part of the eco system." With his other hand he fished for something in his pockets and finally got a out a tiny glass bottle, not longer than maybe half a matchstick. With another melodic whistle he guided some of the lights inside and corked the bottle, before he handed it to me. "Here, a souvenir. Take it, no one will miss them, and they can't die."

Perplex I took the tiny bottle, glaring at the particles inside. I lifted my glasses to take a closer look at them - being so short sighted has the advantage of seeing near things a lot better than other people. No need for a magnifier. Fascinated I saw that the particles looked like tiny butterflies, although they seemed to have no substance, seeing they never collided with the others. How they could be kept inside a bottle, then, was a mystery.

"Th... thanks," I breathed out fascinated and carefully placed the bottle in my chest pocket.

"Take care of it. And now... over there." He pointed at a large house, from which noises could be heard. "They sure know how to make great coffee. You'll love it."

I was just about to follow him, when I startled and stopped dead in my tracks.

"What's wrong?"

"Th... there... there are aliens inside," I concluded, only now getting fully aware of the fact that I wasn't on earth anymore. How did I even breath? Was the atmosphere similar to ours? What about the gravity, the air pressure, the composition of the air? Would I even be able to survive in this place for long, or would my body react in who knows what ways?

"Oi! You met us already!" the Doctor protested.

"Y... yeah... but you look human."

"You look Time Lord! We came first."

"Time Lord..."

The Doctor grinned. "That's what my species is called."

"Your kind sure has a thing with naming stuff... and people." I took a deep sigh, deciding not to think about all the possible ways my body could simply disintegrate or whatever on a foreign planet. "Alright... whatever. I really do need some coffee." I waved towards the building. "Lead the way."


	6. Part I (VI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Master will be back, soon. ੧| ‾́ 〜 ‾́ |੧
> 
> Also: You ever have those random, ethical discussions in your head? And then imagine some character from a show or book or even real life and think about what they might think about it all? Or is that just me?

The Doctor strode away with wide, excited steps, making it almost hard for me to follow. It reminded me of how I tried to keep pace with my Dad as a child. When he had taught me how they had been marching during his military time. Fewer and wider steps. Quickly I got next to the Doctor and we arrived at the inn - or whatever they were calling it here - together. He opened the door for me, waving me into the warmly lit interior.

It was fantastic! The inside reminded of an old medieval tavern, be it only because of the use of dark wood and decorative ornaments everywhere. The resemblance stopped there, however, as parts of machines were being built into the walls and even into the floor. Everywhere I looked I could see light-grey metal gears of all sizes winding themselves to do or produce something who knows where. And if that wouldn't be fascinating enough, there were no lamps as we would use them on earth. Instead, hundreds of small paper squares were floating in the air, all seemingly filled with the same sentient particles we had encountered outside.

Only then did I finally pay attention to the inhabitants of the place. At first glance they looked rather human, as did the Doctor. But then I noticed the soft scales covering their skin, shimmering in the light when they moved. They also had rather flat noses and their ears tapered off to a set of two or three points.

"Don't worry." The Doctor nudged my side playfully. "They are used to travellers from other planets. No one will ask."

I only nodded, too mesmerized by all the wonderful weirdness around me.

 _I'm on an alien planet, in an alien inn,_ it shot through my head, sparking a giddiness I hadn't felt in ages. I scrambled through my pockets. No one would ever believe this! I needed to take some pictu-

I stilled, remembering that the Master still had my phone. This was so unfair!

"You don't happen to have a camera of sorts with you?" I asked the Doctor hopefully.

"Oh, a picture in your mind is worth a lot more than still images, don't you think?"

He guided us to an empty table and, as soon as we sat, a male looking person came to our table, wearing something that resembled a thin, almost translucent tunic in a soft purple colour. All the staff seemed to wear this kind of clothes.

"What may I serve you tonight?" he asked, his voice having a pleasant silky tone to it.

"Mhm... let's see... haven't been here in a while." The Doctor scratched his chin and eyed me curiously, then suddenly held up a finger and ordered grinning, "For me the Pecaranti and for my companion here a Gold Guaracanto, please."

The waiter nodded politely and then rushed towards the counter.

"Whatever you just ordered," I pondered, barely able to keep my eyes from wandering around, "I hope it's digestible for humans."

"Of course it is!" the Doctor protested. "I know what humans can eat and drink. Been around you lot for long enough."

"I see..." I muttered absently, observing two inhabitants cuddling with each other. They behaved a lot like humans, in general, and at first glance; it made me wonder how many species there might be in the universe that were so similar to us, yet so different.

"You're alright?"

"Huh?" I tore my eyes away from the couple, who now shared a tender kiss, "Yeah, yeah, I am. Probably. It's just... hard to wrap my head around. You could almost think they were... human, you know?"

"What, did you think all aliens were slimy, tentacly things, or have huge heads and black eyes?"

I snorted. "You watched earthen movies?"

"Sure did!" The Doctor beamed.

"Oh geeze," I grimaced. "Hope you don't want to wipe us all out, now. Bet I would, were I alien."

The Doctor giggled at that, rubbing his hands in anticipation as the waiter returned with our order. For him it was a beverage in a bubbly shaped glass that was green at the bottom, then turned to purple and lastly to yellow. A fruit that looked like a purple orange slice decorated the rim and there also was an actual straw - and ice cubes.

For me the waiter placed down a dark blue cup that looked like a hemisphere on three tiny porcelain stumps. The content emanated some steam and was crowned by a white substance that - as far as I was concerned - looked a lot like ordinary whipped cream, decorated with tiny golden crumbles. A spoon - an actual spoon - lay beside the cup and I took it to carefully taste a mouthful of the cream.

"Yep... cream," I uttered perplex. "And the gold stuff is chocolate? They really have chocolate here?"

"Not quite, but to you it tastes similar." The Doctor took the straw and swirled the liquids around until all the colours got mixed together and became a weird kind of glowing pink. But as soon as he stopped stirring, the liquids started to divide once again, sinking down to the pattern they had before.

"And this is... don't tell me that's actually coffee!" I dipped my spoon a little deeper, fishing out a substance that, indeed, was dark brown, although it had a strange metallic glint to it.

"Also not quite." He finally stopped playing with his drink and sucked a bit of it through the straw, his face lightening up with joy. "It's prickling on my tongue!" he announced happily, sticking said tongue out to show that it was glittering bluish.

What a childish behaviour! It made me laugh and also relax a little. Carefully I took the cup in both hands, astonished that it hadn't taken on the beverage's temperature, and took a sip. My eyes widened when the substance touched my tongue and I couldn't hold in a delighted groan.

"Oh my gosh! That's the best coffee I ever had! Is that cinnamon in there? Okay, probably not. Tastes like it, though. And a bit like the coffee I once had in France." I took another sip, careful not to burn my tongue.

"It has the same effect as coffee, if you wanna know. Probably a bit stronger, but it shouldn't knock you out."

I simply shrugged. "Guess I'm almost immune to it, anyway. But say... won't you tell me what this was all about?" Finally I sat down the cup, wanting to preserve its content a little while longer. "I mean... what exactly did I stumble into? How comes the Master was Prime Minister on earth? And when I bumped into you and your friends, a while back, where you about to find him?"

"Yeah, guess I owe you an explanation, eh? Mhm... they surely have the best juices in this galaxy," he mused while sucking on his straw. "Well... where to start..."

"Was there really a paradox?" I shot out. "Each time I try to remember what happened after Saxon... I mean the Master... was elected I keep seeing... probably just my tired mind, but... There were thousands of those spheres and I remember running and... ugh, it's all so foggy..."

"There was a whole year that, in fact, never happened." He tapped against his glass. "Peculiar that you remember any of it at all. Shouldn't be, can't be, actually. You can't have been so close to the centre to remember anything. Strange... not concerning, though."

"Some kind of... anomaly?" I pondered.

"Yeah, happens. Some people are more susceptible to these things. Especially when they are highly intuitive and stuff." He shrugged. "Anyway. The Master was trapped on earth. My fault, honestly. He stole my TARDIS and all I could do was to lock her functions. Not important. Took us too much of a delay to come back, though. So he had enough time to prepare some scheme to... well..."

He paused.

"...hurt you?" I asked quietly. "Seems he really hates you and goes out of his way to have you in pain."

The Doctor flinched and looked to the side for a second. "He's not all bad. Just angry, so, so angry. And lost. And all alone. He's my responsibility. After we reverted the paradox I took him with me. Hoped I could help, hoped I could talk some sense into him, make him see that there is more to life than owning everything."

"Didn't work, huh?"

"No." The Doctor sighed and leaned back in his chair. "He used a moment of distraction and slipped away. Luckily he didn't went too far. Well... couldn't, without any means of transportation."

"So I only happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time," I quietly concluded, taking a long sip from my coffee.

"Alas, yes. I'm sorry about that.... uh... what's your name, actually?"

"Lucy. The Master didn't like it, though." I smirked as I recalled what he had told me. "Did he really have a wife? Can't imagine one like him being married."

The Doctor snorted, but I couldn't tell if it was amused or derisive. "A political thing. He broke the poor girl with his hypnotism. Promised her power and the universe and whatnot. But when she saw how cruel he acted, what he did to people... She wanted to flee. But he held her back, broke her mind and made her a mere doll."

A small shiver went through me at the mere imagination. No wonder she had eventually tried to shoot him. It seemed the Master truly was a monster, worthy to be kept in a cage.

But then again...

There had been something about him, something I could only sense, but not put into actual words. And what had the Doctor just told? Angry and lost, and all alone.

_Just like myself._

"What will happen now? Can you find him again and... lock him away for good?"

"Yeah, that will be easy." There was an almost sad smile tugging on the Doctor's lips, but then he beamed at me. "So, don't worry. He won't bother you ever again."

I simply nodded.

"What brings a man to act so cruel?" I uttered into my cup.

"He wasn't always like that." Thoughtfully the Doctor stirred the almost gone liquid. "I know there is still something good left in him. And with time... maybe..."

I nodded again and couldn't enjoy the coffee any longer. It would be _just_ to lock him away. It would prevent him from doing harm to people. But I also couldn't get the image out of my head, of the Master being caged in, slowly going mad from the lack of freedom. He didn't seem like a man who could endure this.

And, after all, I knew too well how it felt to be a prisoner of another person.

"You don't seem too happy," the Doctor remarked, curiosity in his voice.

I wasn't, but letting this man roam freely would surely result in lots of people getting hurt. So, getting rid of a single person would save so many lives. So many... for the price of a single one. With a shiver I remembered the small gun in my shoulder bag.

I could still do it.

The weapon wasn't registered to me (probably to no one), I could go disguised and no one would await _me_ to show up there, anyway. They all thought I was living way across the country, with no money to do the trip.

Slowly I glanced up and into the Doctor's eyes. It was almost the same experience as had before with the Master. It didn't feel uncomfortable, although it seemed the alien before me was just too eager to suck every little secret out of me. Not to do harm, not to judge me. Maybe that was the difference to human eyes...

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure, go ahead." His joyful attitude was back in an instant, making it harder for me.

"Consider someone would be able to make the lives of two people a lot better, because they are... trapped, in a sense, because they are too weak to stand up for themselves, or even... too kind. But in order to do that... you would have to get rid of a third person. And in case you'd actually do that... would this make you a bad person?"

The Doctor fished out the straw from his glass and downed its remaining content. Eventually he looked back at me, his gaze thoughtful.

"Sometimes the results do justify the means. Sometimes it is the wiser thing to do. Sometimes it is actually the _kinder_ thing to do. However," he held up a finger, "the act of getting rid of said person, no matter if by taking their life or locking them away, would still bare the same weight. It's never an easy choice, and it's never easy to live with whatever end you choose. Good, bad... It is both... and neither."

The weight would stay the same.

"I don't know what the Master wanted to make you do, Lucy," the Doctor spoke up again. "And you don't seem to be hypnotized. But you have to know he is extremely cunning and very capable of letting people think they are acting on their own free will, when in fact they are simply lulled in by his words and demeanour."

"Not surprising," I muttered, thinking back to the time he had been candidate for Prime Minister. And when we met, how charming and nice he seemed, how calm and almost friendly he had behaved towards me, aside from the choking part, of course. "Don't worry," I slightly shook my head and gave him a, what I hoped was, reassuring smile. "I'm not going to be his plaything."

The Doctor smiled back and stood. "Alright then. Let's get you home, shall we?"


	7. Part II - Abduction

The ride home was as bumpy as the ones before, however, I felt a lot less excited and even somewhat numb. Reality seemed to have lost its colour, all sounds seemed to be muffled and I couldn't get myself to even look around the wonderfully weird interior of the TARDIS any longer. More than once during those few minutes, I contemplated begging the Doctor not to bring me back, to let me stay and experience more of all the wonders the universe had to offer.

But I wasn't brave enough.

He surely wouldn't want some insignificant random person to tag along, and there wasn't even anything I would have to offer in return.

"The coffee didn't help much, eh?" the Doctor remarked happily.

I sat in the jump seat, glaring into nothingness when he tore me out of my musings. Slowly I lifted my head, glancing into his chocolate brown eyes that twinkled with joy and adventures yet to come. I opened my mouth, ready to let out the question burning on my tongue, but once more it didn't get over my lips.

The Doctor stepped away and opened the doors. "See? Right place, right time. Nothing lost, nothing left. You're back home, safe and sound, as promised."

"Thank you." Finally I managed to lift my leaden body from the seat and sauntered to the exit. "Hard to believe I'm simply back..."

"Told you, everywhere you want." Grinning the Doctor rubbed his hands together, then stretched one out towards me. "It was a pleasure meeting you, Lucy. Have a good life, yeah?"

I shyly smiled back and shook his hand. "I'll try."

After that I stepped outside, finding myself in front of the house my apartment was in. It felt so utterly weird, I could impossibly clad the feeling into proper words. Behind me the sound of the TARDIS filled the air and when I turned around, all I managed was a last wistful glance at the fading blue box.

Only when the last bits of sound had faded did I get out my keys and entered the house, moving to my own little space in there. As always I was greeted by silence when the lock clicked open. I slipped inside, tossing my shoes next to the door and dropping my shoulder bag next to it.

Both, the lack of money and my light sensitive eyes caused me to never install any proper lamps in here, so I moved over to my desk to plug in the light-hose that served me as substitute.

Only then did I fully realize that it was still dark outside.

 _No one would ever believe any of this_ , it shot through my head as I slumped into my computer chair and booted up the laptop.

Maybe Max would. He was my best friend, despite the fact that we had never met, nor did I know how he even looked or sounded. Up to this day it had never occurred as odd to me, the thought, however, now popping into my mind out of nowhere. Well, most of my so called _friends_ were mere internet contacts. In a chatbox no one notices how badly you can read and use facial expressions and body language, and you have all the time you need to think of replies.

It wasn't as bad anymore as it used to be, though. Most of the time people didn't notice my autistic behaviour too much, these days. At least they saw me as human enough, now, to interact with me in a friendly manner, instead of instantly pushing me away or - in the best case, honestly - simply pretend I don't exist.

 **> >** **Mr.X:** Ey, Lucy! You're awake early.

The chatbox distracted me from my dark thoughts and I smiled a little. It was always great to talk to Max. Sometimes he was like a mentor to me, although he was roughly ten years younger. We discussed and philosophized about the weirdest stuff sometimes. No matter if it was glitches in the Matrix, machine elves, lucid dreams, meditating or weird Spongebob conspiracy theories... no topic was weird enough.

Yeah, he would believe it.

Would he?

I hesitated with the answer, unsure if I even wanted someone to believe. It would make everything more real. And therefore really gone, never to return. A deep sigh escaped my lungs as my fingers settled on the keyboard.

 **> > Luce:** You have to talk... But eh, yeah, couldn't sleep... again. Will try again in a minute.

 **> > Mr.X:** Do that. And try out that video I sent you. Those breathing techniques help a lot.

 **> > Luce:** Yeah, yeah, will do. Ey, Max?

 **> > Mr.X:** Mhm? o_Ô

 **> > Luce:** You'll never believe what I just dreamed.

* * *

Hours went by and the sun rose while I tossed and turned on my mattress. I really hadn't gotten enough sleep in that train, but alas, I couldn't keep my eyes closed, my mind wandering over and over to the strange occurrences from before.

Groggily I reached for my old wrist watch. 8:22 AM already. I sighed, finally accepting that I wouldn't close an eye and lifted myself from the ground. Eyeing the mattress on the floor I decided the first thing to buy would be a proper bed. And a fridge. Maybe a small wardrobe for the few clothes I possessed... Better than the old cardboard crate, for sure. It also would make the apartment look a lot less empty.

If the money was even in my account.

If any of this had happened at all.

Okay, my phone was still gone, but I could have simply lost it, right?

With every passing minute I started to doubt myself more and more. I was prone to excessive daydreaming, able to vanish inside my own head for hours if I wanted to. Confusing those reveries with reality had, however, never been an issue.

On my way to the bathroom I hit the power button on my laptop and then took a quick shower. Coffee next. For what felt like a small eternity I glared at my monitor, barely daring to bring up the online banking. When I finally did, though, I saw the money. It was still there.

Well... real then.

Would I have to pay taxes for it? Would anyone even notice? And if so, would they ask questions? There also was the issue of me living off social services, right now, and they surely wouldn't pay me another cent if they saw this. Then again, I wouldn't need their money any longer... _then_ again, there would be _questions_ , if they'd ever find out... It wasn't as if I couldn't easily manipulate the bank account statements. A little bit of Photoshop would do the trick.

Probably would be easiest to keep everything as it was. And bare the lowest risk.

Still... I decided to wait at least a week or two to see if my bank would contact me on the matter. I'd only pick up a small amount of the money to buy a new phone.

After the second cup of coffee I put on some outdoor clothes and decided to leave for town. Only when I picked up my shoulder bag from the ground did I remember something else. Something that made the bag heavier than I was used to.

With a dry mouth I sat it down and got out the hand gun. It really was a small model, but other than that I didn't know anything about weapons. I found the small switch to unlock the gun and even managed to get out the magazine.

Geeze, those things really were self explanatory. No wonder every idiot could use one.

It was loaded. Somehow I had doubted it the whole time. Numbly I dropped down, sitting cross legged on the floor, the weapon in front of me. I had to hide the damn thing. And then, very carefully, decide what to do.

* * *

"Hey, what's up with you, Lucy? You seem so down all the time." Alice nudged me into the side.

I glanced up from my phone, my mind returned to the present moment. A bunch of us had met up for a special Pokémon event and everyone was chatting and laughing. Normally I loved hanging around with them all. Some of them were pretty weird themselves, others were totally ordinary people, simply enjoying the game. All ages, genders and races found together here, no one was left out. And with some of them I had even managed to struck up the closest thing to friendship I was able to manage.

Vague acquaintances probably was a better description... but still. I was proud and happy to have at least that.

But today I couldn't enjoy it. Everything just felt so weird. Ordinary. Pointless.

A week had passed since I had met the Time Lords, a week of sleeplessness and a longing for the unknown out there I just couldn't control. Over and over again I cursed myself for not having been brave enough to ask.

Now I was stuck here. Forever.

"I'm just... not feeling too well," I finally answered.

An understanding look whizzed over Alice's face. "Oh my, period troubles?"

I blinked, then decided to simply nod and leave it at that. It was a good excuse, even when it wasn't true.

The truth was a hidden away secret anyway.

I sighed and dropped my head against the wall behind me.

* * *

My days were filled with boredom and restlessness. For hours I wandered the city, music in my ears, mind in the clouds. Some days I sat in the park and read through my library of e-books, or drew random things in my little notebook. Every sunny spot, though, was always occupied by couples and parents with kids, all laughing and playing and cuddling. Not a single person seemed to be on their own. I couldn't stand their sight.

On other days I watched all the ducks and gooses on the river, until they started to appear with chicks. Small, fluffy fuzz-balls. At first they made me smile, but looking at them, being so protected and guided by their parents made me remember my own childhood. If only someone had been there to protect and guide me, back then. Maybe I wouldn't sit around like this, now. Maybe my heart wouldn't hurt so much.

Sometimes I stayed out way after dark, watching the stars twinkle and the moon rise above the water. It was warm outside, no need to hurry back. It didn't matter. No one was waiting for me.

* * *

No one had demanded any information about the money, so I had gotten a bit of furniture, my apartment now almost looking like a place a normal human being could, one day, call a home.

I checked my e-mails, skimming over the new job rejections and sighed heavily. I probably could manage for a few years, now. But it wasn't about the money. I needed something better to do than to sit around all day. I needed to busy myself somehow. Heck! I just wanted to be a normal part of society.

"Just give me a chance already," I mumbled frustrated and shut down my laptop.

I could have gotten myself a nice gaming PC, but playing anything didn't give me much joy anymore. It hadn't for some years, actually. To be fair, nothing at all managed to make me smile, these days. Everything was just so mundane and boring. Even Max was gone, had told me he was going on some self-discovery trip for a month or so.

Lazily I heaved myself out of the chair and looked over my food supplies. I still hadn't gotten myself a fridge. It forced me to go out and buy fresh food every day. Gave me a reason to leave the house. There was some rice left, maybe I could make something out of it, today.

With that thought in mind I put on my shoes and grabbed the shoulder bag from the ground. There was a shadow visible through the small frosted glass slit on my door. Could be Derek. An older guy who sometimes came over to chat. In my mind I already prepared some excuse, not feeling in the mood to have anyone around me, right now.

I checked if I had my keys and opened the door, my prepared fake smile dropping in an instant when I saw brown hair instead of grey, a goatee and a fast growing charming smile. His hands were pocketed in an open, stylish black jacket he wore over a dark grey shirt. One shoulder leaned against the door frame, one leg crossed behind the other, stuck in dark blue jeans and black shoes.

The Master held up a hand, wriggled his fingers and smiled even wider when he saw my dumb expression.

"Missed me?"


	8. Part II (II)

"Master," I brought out dumbfounded and a pleased expression went over his face.

My body froze and went nuts at the same time, my muscles stiff as stone, but my pulse suddenly racing madly, my heart drumming against my ribcage. Everything from the previews weeks fell off my shoulders in an instant, all my doubts, all my depressive thoughts of never leaving this place, of staying alone in a world that didn't want me.

Slowly a smile widened on my face, probably the first one since the Doctor had left, and a soft laugh crept its way up my throat.

"You have no idea, how badly I have to keep myself from hugging you. Seriously."

This definitely was _not_ the answer the Master had awaited, nor was my exalted behaviour. He narrowed his eyes at me, the corners of his mouth, though, twitching up a little.

"You wouldn't survive that."

I giggled. "I know." There was just no way to make that stupid grin vanish from my face. "So, you escaped him again?"

Finally I pulled the door shut behind me and gestured towards the stairwell, simply leading the way outside, when the Master didn't budge. I sure as hell didn't want him inside my apartment.

"And there I thought the Doctor would have given you quite the speech about how dangerous und untrustworthy I am," he stated rather dramatically when we stepped into the sunlight.

"Oh, he did."

"Then why are you so happy to see me?"

Was I imagining it or was he really sulking? I stopped and turned to face him, ready to give him a taste of _unexpected_. So often I got into trouble because of how different I thought about the world. Uncounted were the arguments about what others considered as fact, as moral, as good or bad. Only for me to poke around in their fixed world view, twisting their truth with cold logic.

People don't like that. At all. But it seemed, no matter if the logic proved otherwise, the opinion of the mass is always right. And when you can't see it the same way, they tend to hate you bitterly.

Right now, though, the fact that the Master was here at all already brought me into deep shit. So, no need to hold back.

"It's boring. This whole stupid planet and its people. And I don't even belong anywhere." I shrugged. "Always thought if I were ever to meet some aliens I'd beg them to take me away."

"Aaaaaw, did the Doctor dump you?" the Master mocked. "Too bad he is fully occupied with taking care that I don't run around and do bad things... oh, wait."

That completely took the wind out of my sails, his words sinking like a stone into my stomach, where they sat and hurt.

"No... I..." I gritted my teeth, feeling so stupid and useless again for not having asked. My voice suddenly faltered slightly. "I didn't think he'd take one like me with him."

By now we had left the building and were heading down the road into town. I didn't pay much attention to the way. If I had, it probably would have occurred to me how idiotic it was to just drag the Master around with me. Only when his hand landed on my shoulder did I stop and looked up at him.

"Where the heck are you going?" he asked with a scowl that showed clearly he wasn't going to follow me around.

"Eh... I... uh... dunno." I stopped. "Just my usual way. It's... muscle memory I guess. What? What is it? Why are you looking so annoyed!"

"You're supposed to be _scared_!" he whined suddenly and pointed an accusing finger at me. "I thought you would tremble in fear when I show up. I thought you were sooooo relieved that the Doctor saved you from me!" He ended with an even deeper scowl and slightly pursed lips.

Perplex I blinked at him a few times, trying to wrap my head around what the meaning behind his outburst was. There is, of course always the actual words people use, but having a way too literal mind had taught me to always be on the lookout for any kind of additional meaning between the lines.

"How about... scare someone else?" I suggested, shrugging.

He scrunched up his nose and folded both arms in front of his chest. "Don't like unfinished business. And you were fun."

"Great," I huffed.

"No, seriously! You don't often find humans that are fun to play with."

"I feel soooo honoured, Master." Even though my words had been meant sarcastic I noticed a pleased expression on his face for a moment. "You got out already, how about you steal this TARDIS ship and just fly somewhere with more interesting people?"

"Don't need to steal it," he grumbled. "The Doctor just left. No idea where too and I don't care at all. But he forgot to lock me in..."

My head tilted to the side as I suspiciously watched him over the rim of my glasses. Too many thoughts at once shot through my head, far too many to grasp a single one until all the threads slowly combined themselves to a somewhat greater picture. It probably took about ten seconds, in which the Master only grew more impatient.

"So," I started, dragging out the word, "You have a machine that can fly everywhere you want. You could simply leave the Doctor stranded here and never return." His face lit up a little at the thought. "Instead you went through the trouble of finding _my_ address and coming all the way here... Just to scare me a little? Sounds like the dumbest thing you could have come up with, honestly."

As dumb as speaking to him the way I had just done.

His eyes filled with rage, and danger was suddenly radiating from him in a way I had never felt before. His hands were on my collar in the blink of an eye and he almost lifted me from the ground. My back and head painfully thumped against a wall. The Master leaned in close, his eyes only inches away from mine, burning with an all-consuming force.

I swallowed, which was hard in this position, as was looking away. So I didn't, kept staring into those pools of almost black madness. Slowly a smirk tugged the corners of his mouth upwards.

"You shouldn't talk to your Master like that."

Right in that moment I wasn't able to speak anyway, my mouth too dry, my heart hammering too fast against my ribcage. And Still...

His hands released my collar, my feet finally sat down to the ground again. But instead of backing away the Master put his forehead against mine, making me inhale sharply and twitch back. I only hit my head at the wall, however could barely feel the pain. I didn't like people so close. Not at all. The fear in my gaze must have been visible as his eyes glinted satisfied. Then his fingers were at my temples, almost tenderly slipping under the stems of my glasses.

The touch broke my stupor and I tried to shove him away, to duck to the side, to somehow get out of his reach. I didn't even want to know what he was trying to do there. His hands left my head and grabbed my shoulders, then my arms, slid to my thrashing hands to grip them firmly.

"Ah, there it is," he said sweetly. "See? It wasn't so stupid to find you again." With a chuckle he locked eyes with me. "Got what I wanted."

Words fled my mind. Fight or flight never did the trick for me. Instead I only froze, unable to do anything at all. His grip on me sent a nasty shiver down my spine, I could no longer look into his hungry eyes and closed mine.

"Please don't," I muttered.

A low chuckle was all I could hear. Eyes pressed shut I waited, knowing I was too weak to slip away or even think about defending myself. I heard the Master shift, his hands releasing me. A second later a shadow moved in front of my closed lids and I felt how my glasses were carefully slipped from my face.

"Open your eyes, lil' lumin."

His voice suddenly was deep, commanding, irresistible. My lids crept open for a second, before I instinctively squinted, unable to see sharp. But his face was so close, I barely had trouble seeing. Against I winced backwards.

"Tell me, you're scared," he demanded with a wicked smile.

"I... I am." A lump sat in my throat, every fibre of my being begging for more space. "Don't..."

"Don't what?"

"Don't... touch me," I breathed.

"No?" He chuckled and pushed a finger under my chin to make me look up. His grin widened a little. "Well, torturing you wasn't on my mind, anyway." His hand vanished from my chin and instead I could feel two fingers on my left temple. A weird tingling sensation spread through my head. "Sleep."

His voice cut through my mind, dimmed my consciousness like a candle flame.

And the world went black.


	9. Part II (III)

I awoke in utter darkness, my head aching in a weird, pounding way. Slowly I sat up, groaning quietly and trying to remember what had happened and how I had gotten here.

Where even was I?

My hands fumbled around in the darkness, reaching nothing but the floor beneath me. Wood? There was a seam, another one. The material felt warm. Definitely some kind of wood. No walls. None I could reach from here, at least. Also, the fact that I was able to reach around meant my hands weren't tied together. Were my feet? No.

Carefully I lifted myself from the ground, always holding my hands over me, in case there was something I could bang my head against. It was so horribly dark... As soon as I stood, my head started to spin. There was no way to tell how wide the space around me was, no way to orient myself or to get my mind to keep its balance.

With a sigh I sat down again, tried to look at my hands. Was there really no light at all? Or...

I gulped, my heart suddenly pounding fast and painful in my chest. Had I gone blind? Had the Master done something to my eyes? The glasses on my nose were also missing.

Right, he had taken it, before sending me to sleep. Hypnotism? Was that why he had come so close and touched my head? I reached up, feeling for my temples as if it would do anything.

Well, there was nothing to gain from sitting around. Carefully I got to my knees and fumbled the ground in front of me, inching a little forward and repeated the process. If I was blind there could be an unseen drop right in front of me, and I wasn't in the mood to fall to my death.

I didn't get far, though. Probably one or two meters, at most, when my hand suddenly touched cloth. I poked whatever was in front of me.

"Stop that," someone hissed. "And be quiet."

"Master?" I asked perplex, keeping my voice low. The surprise vanished quickly, however, got replaced by annoyance and a little anger. "What did you do to me?"

"Shhhh, quiet."

I felt his hand on my arm and got dragged forward, falling against his shoulder. Inwardly I got myself ready to fight, but he didn't do anything else.

"Why can't I see?" I whispered, trying to ignore that he still held my arm. Somewhat clumsy I sat down next to him, shoulder to shoulder.

"Because it's dark, duh!" he hissed back, his eye-roll practically audible.

Alright. At least something.

From nearby there were steps, coming closer and closer. The Master tensed and his hand snapped to my mouth to prevent me from making any noise. Not that I had intended to, unknowing as I was. If there was something dangerous outside, I sure as hell didn't want it to eat me!

The steps halted right in front of whatever place they were in. Time stretched to a small eternity, the silence making my heartbeat appear unbelievably loud. It took me a second to realize I was clutching the Master's sleeve with both hands, but I couldn't bring myself to let go just yet. Only when the steps proceeded and eventually vanished did I unclench my fists and let out a breath.

A chuckle resounded through the dark. "Really, you should be more afraid of me than anything else."

"Better the devil you know..." I muttered and relaxed a little.

My response brought out another chuckle and I felt him move away, getting to his feet and doing something. A strip of blindingly bright light flooded the room, made me flinch and hold an arm over my eyes.

"Don't make fuss, human. And come quick, before the Doctor is back."

"The..." I took my arm down and blinked a few times to get used to the light. It wasn't that bright, actually. A quick look back with squinted eyes also revealed we had been in some completely empty room. Not even windows. That really made me wonder what its purpose might be. "Just now... that was the Doctor?" I tried again, barely able to wrap my head around this.

"Yes, now shut it and come." The Master roughly grabbed my wrist and dragged me out.

Now that there was light again I felt how much I missed my glasses. Being extremely short-sightened doesn't necessarily mean you automatically run into everything, it's not a blurry filter over the world, like you see in movies. You still have a full 3D vision and can make out shapes and what is nearer and what is farther away; but none of it is really sharp and it's impossible to read anything.

"Can I have my specs?" I dared to ask. It was more annoying than anything else without, my eyes constantly squinting like a reflex to see a little better.

"If you behave," the Master quipped.

Our way lead through a weird corridor. Its walls were hexagonal in shape, the material varying from dark woods to glaringly white plastic, grey metal and sometimes even things like red crystal... or was that glass? It all was weirdly familiar.

"Isn't that the TARDIS?" I concluded after a while, remembering the only short trip I had into the insides. "How big is this ship? I mean... dimension. Or whatever. Where is it even?"

"Where's what?" the Master absently asked, appearing as if he was concentrating on something. Maybe on finding the right way.

"This dimension. The blue box moves around and is a portal to here, isn't it?"

He stopped and gave me a look, then shook his head and continued the way, still holding my wrist. By now he had loosened his grip, though, not causing me pain any longer.

"It's _inside_ the box. I don't suspect your meagre brain to comprehend it."

"Huh... cool," I mumbled.

The Master turned his head to me, this time with a curious enough look that even I could make it out.

"What?" I made puzzled. "It's not as if you're going to explain it to me, are you? And besides... humans aren't even capable of proper space travel, so how would one like me understand any of this?" My voice got sadder the more I talked and I glanced at my feet.

"What do you know, then?" he drawled, sounding exceptionally bored. "What have you learned in your little unknowing human life?"

At that I stayed silent. We reached a new area that was made of dark, polished wood, giving the corridor a somewhat foreboding look. The Master snickered.

"Go on," he mocked, "impress me with your knowledge."

"I... don't have any," I mumbled. "No one ever gave me the chance to learn anything useful."

With a cold lump in my stomach I remembered all the years I had spent trying to get an apprenticeship somewhere. Anywhere. But as soon as people met me in person it always ended the same way... Humans just don't like weird people.

The grip around my wrist got stronger, his fingers digging into my skin a little. Suddenly he hissed and let go of me so unexpected I almost bumped into him. The Master pushed a hand against my shoulder to prevent it, his face close enough I could see his eyes somewhat, now dark and angry, but... not at me?

"Wh... what is it?"

His hand left my shoulder and he took a step back before he almost hurled around to stride away so fast I had difficulties following, for a moment.

"Humans are disgusting," he mumbled to himself.

"And there you wonder why I want to get away from them," I uttered as quiet as he had.

The Master huffed. "That includes you."

"Yah... I know. An autistic brain sadly isn't enough to count as different species," I joked. "Although people certainly treat one that way."

There was some sort of low growl coming from his direction as he lead us to a set of fine wooden doors.

"So, that's what I saw?" he asked while peeking inside a few rooms, only to pull his head out immediately again and stride to the next.

"Saw? What do you mean?"

He waved a hand in my direction, nose vanished behind another door. "Skin contact. I held you. Saw some snippets. Nothing distinct. But..." He slammed the door shut, scrunched up his nose and regarded me with another look I couldn't decipher. "Felt like you don't have a single positive memory."

Perplex I glared at him, for a variety of reasons. Too many at once for my mind to put it all in order. I blinked a few times, but it was no help.

"You... saw my memories because you held my wrist?" I tried.

He was again looking into another room and I gathered a quick glance inside, squinting my eyes almost completely shut to see what was there. It was tiny, not more than a broom cabinet, but filled with a collection of spider webs. Not just any. Some were quadratic, some even three-dimensional, others glowed purple in the dark and some glittered as if one had strewn some fairy dust over them. It seemed as if someone was collecting those in here. And maybe they were something else entirely. It was hard to tell.

"Time Lords have an affinity for touch telepathy," he explained, what surprised me. The smug tone in his voice, however, gave away why he bothered to explain anything at all to me. "I am one of the best among them."

Alright, telepathy. Then again, he also could hypnotize people, as far as I had gathered. So maybe their kind simply possessed such traits. After all, they were still aliens.

"Any kind of skin contact works," he went on, searching room after room. "But the temples are usually the most direct way to another mind."

Immediately it brought back the memory of our last encounter, of how close he had gotten and...

"Oh," I made. "That's what you wanted from me..."

"Can't hypnotize you directly, so I thought..." He paused, eyeing me. "Why the heck do you look so relived now?" His lips pursed visibly. "Humans are almost not psychic at all, it should scare the crap out of you!"

"A... am I?" I hadn't noticed my expression changing. "Uh, well... I mean... err..."

"What?" He spat.

Why was it so important for him to scare me, I wondered. And then the refusal to regard any personal space.

"Just don't like people so close," I mumbled and watched my shoes, absently detecting that the floor was a weird greyish rubber material. "I already had people act on me like you did... and I thought..." I shook my head. "Well, forget it. What are you even searching here?"

The low chuckle told he was satisfied with himself. Of course he was.

"Oh, so there is something you fear more than death?" he concluded happily. "When I was about to kill you, you afterwards just snuggled up on me like an annoying cat!" he spat with a scowl, that vanished quickly as he stepped closer to tower over me with a now wicket grin. "You don't like me so close?" The Master leaned down a little. "Why? It's not because you fear I might take your life, isn't it?"

I swallowed and contemplated taking a step back. Not that it would help. He could simply follow. Instead I shyly looked him in the eyes. Such swirling depths. So ancient and cruel.

"I... thought you wanted to..." my voice faded to an almost whisper, "... rape me..."

He blinked. Once. Twice. Then he scrunched up his nose in visible contempt and stood straight. "Don't be disgusting, ape. Who'd dirty themselves with vermin such as your kind?" The Master shivered dramatically to make his point clear.

I let out a breath and relaxed. Meanwhile he opened another door. "Where the hell did that bloody ship hide the room?" he grumbled annoyed and looked up into the air. "I'm not going to apologize for the Paradox Machine!"

A weird little hum was the only answer.

"That... might not help," I mumbled, earning myself a dark growl.

The Master rubbed the bridge of his nose, looked at the air again and pointed at me. "How about you get me where I need to go and I won't harm this human?"

Another hum and a soft bristling as if from electricity now was palpable. A second later a path of golden light appeared on the ground, pulsating in an almost annoyed manner. The Master chuckled.

"Good old girl, maybe I'll be nice to you for a while."

"Where are we going?" I wanted to know.

He regarded me with a huff, as if even speaking to me was below his dignity. But then something changed. I sensed it more than anything else, some weird shift in the way he _felt_. I couldn't place the feeling, though. The Master took a step closer and reached out for me. When I instinctively twitched back, he stilled, slowed, but then reached further and grabbed my hand, this time, only to drag me along again.

"I need a place to hide you from him."


	10. Part II (IV)

"Hide me from the Doctor?" I repeated puzzled, glaring down at his hand that held mine.

The Doctor had tried to take my hand, too, I remembered. Was that a thing with Time Lords? Had it something to do with their touch telepathy?

Whatever it was, I didn't feel threatened and therefore didn't struggle.

The Master followed the path the TARDIS was providing, not giving an answer. Finally we reached another door and the Time Lord sighed in relief when he found inside what he had, obviously, been looking for.

I followed, not that I had another chance, but as soon as I saw the room, all possible thoughts of struggle vanished in an instant. Even without my glasses it was a sight to behold. It was a huge study with a fireplace and armchairs, walls lined with bookshelves and even a thin spiral staircase to an upper layer that was, as far as I could tell, also completely filled with books. The ceiling wore a design of colourful dots and lines, maybe star systems? I couldn't discern it. What I didn't need my eyes for was to realize that it was comfily warm in here and now I also spotted a sofa with lots of pillows on it. Or was it a bed? Could be both.

"Huh," I made surprised and fascinated, "Thought you'd tug me away in some dungeon."

"Who says I won't?" The Master chuckled to himself, moving towards one of the shelves. "This is a private room of mine. Found it a few centuries back. Don't think the Doctor knows of it, so it's quite useful."

He let go of my hand and picket out a book to flip through its pages. "Ah, here it is. Thought I'd seen that before."

Curiously I peeked over his arm and squinted at the pages, but frowned. There were circles with dots and lines scattered over the paper, together with what looked like blueprints of machines. Probably. I couldn't get close enough to make it out.

He seemed to get lost in it for a while, not even noticing me anymore, so I stepped away and looked over the shelves. My heart jumped excitedly at the sight of so many books. Most of the titles that were close enough for me to read, didn't ring a bell, a few of them sounded so weird I had the suspicion they might not be from earth at all. And why would they? But then again were they all written in proper English.

Running my fingers over a particularly dusty row I pondered about this. Did the TARDIS translate everything that found its way into it? If the ship was sentient it could probably do that. Then again... I thought back to when I had been having coffee with the Doctor. He had ordered our beverages using English, too. And those aliens sure as hell had spoken another language. Humans hadn't even made it into space yet, let alone discovered new planets, so how would they know what we speak?

Another mystery to solve, I decided as I found a true treasure trove. This whole wall was filled with books I vaguely knew. Fantasy and Sci-Fi literature from earth. Excitedly I grinned and grabbed one of my favourites. The _Night Watch_ series from _Sergej Lukianenko_. It was with mages and creature living beside us and a secret society of kinds watching over each other. It reminds a little of Harry Potter, but in Russia and a lot darker and mature.

It was such a long time ago that I had read them. Back when my only company had been stacks upon stacks of books. So many stories, so many lives to be absorbed in, just so I wouldn't have to place my eyes on my own.

"You're still here," came the Master's slightly surprised voice from behind. "Thought you'd try to flee."

"And get lost in those corridors?" I thumbed behind me. "Nah, better not."

"Too bad. Would have been funny." He snickered and grinned impishly, then waved with the book from before. "Seems you won't stay here, after all. I found out how to break the seal the Doctor has put around the controls. Come, let's steal it."

I raised an eyebrow and slightly tilted my head while simultaneously folding my arms in front of my chest. "First you kidnap me, then I'm supposed to help you?"

His smile dropped, got replaced by something darker. He stepped closer to hover above me like a hawk, ready to snatch its prey. This time I didn't have the urge to back away, his disgusted words from when we were in the corridors still ringing in my ears. If he wanted to intimidate me simply by invading my personal space, then he wouldn't be lucky.

"I could make you," he stated in a softly threatening voice. "There are so many ways to break a body... a mind. Believe it or not. I don't have to get myself dirty for any of those."

He chuckled and leaned closer, reached a hand out, now causing me to flinch away, despite my previous determination. The wicked gleam in his eyes told of how much he enjoyed my reaction, his bent finger slightly stroking over my cheek. Pure stubbornness kept my eyes glued to his and after an endlessly short moment I realized, he wasn't going to hurt me. Not now, at least. There was something he wanted... needed? And there was this tinge of sadness in his gaze, barely noticeable, except by someone who knew about pain and loneliness.

Still...

"Steal the ship on your own. I'm not too eager to stay on earth, but I'm not going to get myself into something."

_Wrong words._

A slow, mean and amused smirk spread on his face, wrinkled the corner of his eyes. Eyes that loved to smile, that enjoyed mischief and fun. Somehow I was sure they could even hold some gentleness in them.

_Damn fascinating bastard._

The smile never faltered as he answered, almost carefully, putting some weight into every word. "So stealing is bad? You were ready to commit _murder_ , li'll lumin. _Willingly_ even."

I swallowed, my mouth getting dry at the mere thought, at the knowledge of the gun still lying in my desk drawer. The words were on my lips already, tasting bitter and like the lie they were, so I never spoke them out. _I would have done it to protect_.

He chuckled when he saw the emotions fighting in my eyes. The Master stretched out a hand again, but this time as an offer. "Come. You wanted to see the universe, didn't you?"

Oh how much I did! Still, I narrowed my eyes it him, sensing that something was off. "What would you gain from showing me? To you I'm nothing but a toy."

He simply shrugged. "I'm bored. Maybe I want to know why the Doctor is so fond of your race? Does it matter?"

Did it? I owed the Doctor nothing. Hell, I didn't even know him. And _he_ hadn't asked me to come along and see the stars! Hesitantly I reached out my hand, but stopped in the last moment. Pieces of a puzzle got put together, forming a vague thought.

"You need me to deactivate the lock around the controls, right?" His expression twitched at my words. "Not that I'd understand it, but if it were different, you'd have left me here and be gone already."

His hand snapped down to his side, brows furrowing in irritation. "Yes, true. It's a partially telepathic lock. Needs two different signatures, and both have to act on their own free will."

I huffed and folded my arms. "I see. And as soon as the lock is gone, I'm dead."

The Master gave me an eye-roll. "If you keep being so annoying, then yes. Help with the lock and I might let you tag along for a bit. As long as you don't get in my way, that is."

"And you would do what?" I countered. "All I know about you isn't really speaking in your favour. Can't judge if the Doctor has a right to keep you a prisoner, but I also don't want to be responsible if you do something horrible to other people, or planets. Or the entire universe."

Suddenly his hands were at my collar, drawing me right under his face that was contorted in anger, nose and mouth wrinkled to a snarl. "You're as sanctimonious as him!" he spat. "As your whole worthless species. I had some hopes you might be less infuriating, but fine." His grip loosened for a second, but then he shoved me backwards, against one of the shelves that spilled some books to the floor. "You're not going to leave until I got what I want."

And with that he rushed away, slammed the door shut in his back and left me alone in my confusion and the weird cold feeling that painfully twisted my guts.


	11. Part II (VI)

Reading books with an eyesight of -10 and no glasses is a real bother, that's for sure. But what else was there to do?

When the Master left, it took me almost a minute to halfway comprehend my new situation. Of course I tried the door, unsurprisingly finding it locked. After that I walked along the walls to see if there was another exit, but found none.

"Hey," I tried, hoping the TARDIS would hear me in this room. "Can't you get me out or something?"

There was no response in any way and I sighed heavily.

"Great," I mumbled. "Do you only hear me in the corridors?"

It was worth a try, wasn't it? And really, there was... _something_. There is no way I could explain what it was, a tug at my consciousness? I still had no idea how this ship communicated, other than with hums and lights on the ground. Strangely enough this small tug somewhat calmed me a little. It was good to know that I wasn't completely alone.

"Any ideas how to get out?" I tried next. "Seems you can lead the way, but not open doors? Or did he lock it in a special way?" Again there was some kind of tug, but its meaning was lost to me. I sighed and rubbed my eyelids. "So, no exit..." and mumbling I added, "and probably no secret passage to a bathroom either."

I really wasn't in the mood to have to release myself in some corner of the room. The mere thought was disgusting, let alone that it was unforgiveable to do this to a place of books.

When I opened my eyes again, there was a door. I blinked, mouth dropping slightly open. That couldn't be, could it? This hadn't been there before. I stretched out my hand to touch the wood and found it to be real. A glance inside not only told me it was unlocked, but also lead me into a small... bathroom. Really tiny, only a shower, a toilet and a sink with a small mirror. There even were towels and some hygiene products.

"So, you can create rooms?" I asked. The TARDIS could _obviously_ hear me, even when it wouldn't answer in a way I could understand. "But you can't unlock the door. Too bad. But thanks for this one, anyway." I waved towards the small bathroom.

Just some months ago the thought of an entire room simply appearing out of nowhere would have made me laugh. Sure, I'm a sucker for all things paranormal and weird, but even I know there are things that simply don't happen.

Well... Seems I had been wrong with this.

Since there was now nothing else left to do, I started to look through the book shelves once more. Which was tedious, because I had to take out each and every book to hold it close in front of my face to read the title. Eventually I just picked a few random ones, carried them to the sofa and flopped myself into the pillows.

* * *

.

* * *

"You're... reading..."

The Master's disappointed voice tore me out of a story of two alien creatures, whose names I couldn't pronounce, on their journey to find the hair of another creature I couldn't keep in my mind.

I glanced up, slowly coming back to reality. "You feel annoyed," I mumbled. "Guess I can't do anything without you getting riled up about it." Shrugging I closed the book and sat it next to me. "Would be a lot easier with my glasses, though. What do I have to do to get them back?"

The smirk on his face was visible even from a distance. "Oh, you're learning. Good little ape."

"Aren't you too?" I sighed. "I mean, you look the same as humans. So you must have similar ancestors."

"We came first," the Master snarled, pointing a thumb at himself. "And no, we do not stem from such primates."

"Alright, alright." I held up my hands in mock-defence. "So... glasses?"

The smile was back. "You won't get them. Since they are so important to you," he bent down slightly to be at my eye level, "I will just keep them. Or shall I break them into pieces? Blind humans are somewhat hilarious."

I sighed and put my hands down, sinking down a little. "Seriously, what's the deal with you? Are you just a bully or is there some plan behind this?"

The Master let out a mean chuckle and flopped down next to me, spreading his arms to lean them on the rest, one behind my neck. I shuffled away a little, although I knew he only did this to unnerve me. Well, he succeeded with that. How had I ever felt so comfortable with that man during the train ride? He had felt so differently back then. Much less... chaotic.

"Well..." he drawled, glancing up at the ceiling as if he had to think about his next words. A grin split his lips and he slightly bent his head down to me. "You could help with the seal in the control room."

"Nope," I deadpanned, popping the 'p'.

"I could get you to a place where they can heal your eyes."

"As if you would." I snorted. The thought was extremely tempting, although it was highly improbable that any alien race out there knew how human eyes worked. "As soon as that seal is cracked you'll probably throw me into a black hole or something."

"Hey, great idea!" He clapped his hands together and giggled childishly. "We could even get a few more apes and throw them in one by one. I'd let you watch. I'd even let you throw them in yourself. How about that?"

I grimaced at the idea and shook my head. "Why would I want that?"

"Because you'd get away with it," he answered, his voice suddenly deep and tempting. "No one would know, no one would judge and never ever would you get punished for it."

Swiftly he removed his arms from the back rest and shifted on the sofa to sit cross-legged, facing me. I hastily slid away, but then mirrored his pose. It was easier to keep him in my field of vision that way. When he spoke up again, his voice held the same foreboding tone in it, mixed with something that could be anticipation or excitement.

"If I would give you a button to press and it would wipe out an entire planet, would you do it?"

Perplex I blinked at his blurry face, immediately wanting to protest. The penetrating gaze he gave me, let my tongue stumble over the words, though, making it impossible to speak them out.

"Wh... why would I?" I hesitantly asked instead.

"Because," he smiled, "I just saw that tiny flash in your eyes. This short moment of consideration." A low chuckle resounded from him before he continued. "Assume I could turn back time and make it undone immediately." Now he leaned forward, deliberately close enough for me to see his glinting eyes, "Would. You. Do. It?"

The heaviness in each of his words made me swallow, my mind racing a million miles per hour. No consequences. Not even the event itself would be left behind. It literally wouldn't have happened. Was he planning to create another paradox?

My mind created the scene on its own, us standing in the console room, me having a button in my hands, through the opened doors of the TARDIS there was a planet visible, maybe earth, maybe some similar place. I glanced up at the Master, saw him nod encouragingly, and I...

A chuckle let the image evaporate into blackness. All I could do was to stare at the Master, to feel raw power emanating from his very being. He would do it, wouldn't hesitate for even a second, I realized. Because he knew how it felt, this surge of adrenalin coursing through one's entire body, head to toe. The tingling in the tips of one's fingers, hovering over the button to put an end to millions of lives as if they were mere ants.

Once more I swallowed, tore my gaze away from my hands I hadn't noticed I'd been now staring at. When I looked back up I met the Master's hazel eyes, in the dim light almost green somehow. He knew it already, didn't need an answer, but wanted to hear it nonetheless, waiting like a spider for certain prey.

"Answer honest, little lumin and I'll give you back your precious glasses." A toothy grin split his lips. "Lie and I'll toss them into a sun."

He wouldn't judge.

My mind wandered back to the gun in my shoulder back, sitting at home.

He would simply smile and nod. And then watch as the world below us would burn, those ancient eyes reflecting the flames of chaos, lips twitching up to an almost melancholic smile. I could see the image as if I were there already.

And it was calm. Like snow falling from the blackened sky of night time.

His eyes bore into mine, the smile long faded, as he patiently sat there, waiting.

I licked my dry lips and took a breath, my voice barely more than a whisper.

"I would do it."


	12. Part II (VII)

There was a pause stretching between the two of us, my heart hammered in my throat, a foreboding feeling threatening to overwhelm me. What the hell had I gotten myself into? What was I doing to say something like that? And what would I do if it wouldn't stay at simple words?

My previous words scared me more than the Master could in that moment. Because they were true.

Suddenly he burst out laughing, bending back and clapping his hands together. It took him a good few seconds to calm down and grin back at me, then he produced something from his jacket pocket. "Close your eyes."

I did. It wasn't as if I could defend myself against whatever he wanted to do to me. And in that very moment it didn't feel as if he wanted to harm me. My gut feeling proved to be right, the only thing that happened was that I felt how he slid my glasses on my nose, carefully, almost gently.

"Look at me, lill' lumin," he commanded in a soft voice.

Slowly I opened my lids, my eyes needed a moment to adapt after so many hours, but the glasses sat perfectly, not needing to be adjusted. There was a pleased, subtle smile on the Master's face.

"Why'd you always call me that?" I asked. He had used that term a few times already.

He shrugged. "Because you're small."

I pursed my lips. "'m not _that_ tiny," I grumbled. "Wasn't what I asked, anyway. What does 'lumin' mean?"

He quirked a brow. "Means the same as Lucy... Light."

"Oh. Right. You didn't like my name." I smiled at the notion that he went so far to give me a new name, but with the same meaning, when he would have been perfectly able to simply keep insulting me with calling me _ape_ or something.

"So, how about we steal the TARDIS now?" he offered with a sweet, boyish smile.

I couldn't. It just wasn't... right? Why did it bother me anyway? There was nothing to gain from not going with him, nothing to lose.

"No?" The Master tilted his head, voice sounding surprisingly unconcerned. He hadn't awaited a positive answer.

"I can't trust you," I simply stated.

"No... No you can't. You shouldn't, in fact." He poked his tongue out between his teeth, eyes crinkling.

"Then why would I help you? I might end up gaining nothing from it."

"You might end up not _losing_ anything."

I huffed and turned my head away. "You have to offer more than that." Shrugging I glanced back and smiled impishly. "How about something to eat for a start? I'm starving. And coffee."

The Master rolled his eyes and shot up from the sofa. "If that's all."

"No, it's where we start." I stood too, still smiling. "As it seems you can't kill me or compromise my brain functions too much."

"I could just collect some other stray ape." He bent down to me and scowled.

"You could." I simply nodded, then grinned. "But I assume getting me some food and coffee would take a lot less time, right?"

The Master rolled his eyes, but, at the same time, appeared oddly amused. "Well, then come."

With that he rushed past me and left the room with wide steps, eager to let me fall behind and get lost in the corridors. Remembering the good old military way of walking, I followed without that much problem, fewer but wider steps. Saves energy, gets you farther, actually quite good for short legs like mine.

"How about you tell me some things?" I suggested, trying to hide that my breath was quicker than I liked it to be.

"No."

"I might change my mind about helping when I know more about who the person actually _is_ I'm supposed to help, ya know?" There was no answer, so I dared to continue, curiosity winning over, "Where'd you come from? Is it far from earth? And why earth at all? What's your actual name and how old are you?"

Suddenly the Master stopped, making me almost bump into him. Luckily I caught myself in time, taking some deep breaths to calm down my pulse. Dang, my condition was really the worst.

"Who I am?" he repeated with a cold tone and dark eyes. "I am the one who killed countless of your kind already, and believe me, my methods are very creative." A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "I am one who is dangerous enough to be locked away inside this TARDIS to rot, because the Doctor knows I would just burn his beloved earth to the ground would he let me out." With an almost crazed smile he bent down to me a little. "I am the one who doesn't bother about you getting hurt or dying. I am the nightmare you wake up from, screaming and wishing you could simply forget. But you won't. The memory will haunt you for the rest of your pitiful existence."

I hadn't noticed how my heart had sped up due to his words, or rather because I could feel their sincerity. Now, though, I felt it with full force, drumming in my chest, my throat. I had stumbled into some weird story, one about a psychopath, eager to leave as much blood and misery on his way as possible. But what was my own role in it?

"How..." I swallowed and looked away for a second, then back into his cruel hazel eyes. "How did you...kill those people?" Shit, was I really asking that?

Slowly his smile widened as he straightened up and continued the way, slower this time. "Too many ways to get started somewhere. But... you might find that one... _funny_." The last word was spoken with such a sarcasm that it made me almost shiver. "Once I got the Nestene Consciousness to work with me. They inhibit plastic. And your little planet is so full of that stuff! A true paradise. Remember that time when all mannequins went haywire and started attacking people?"

"Oof, yeah, that was crazy. Only heard in the news, though. That was you?"

"The Nestene. Not me, this time. I was involved some decades before that. Had them inhabit small plastic daffodils that were handed out in the streets. As a nice little gift to everyone." He chuckled.

"And each of those had one of those Nestene inside?"

"Eh, let's leave it at that. The actual explanation would fry you silly small brain."

"Hey! I'm not stupid!"

"Compared to me you are, so be quiet." He ignored my slight sulking and continued, obviously happy to tell about his misdeeds, "The plan was to hand out millions of those, all over the world. And then awaken them via radio signals so they would spring to life and suffocate their owners. Brilliant! Isn't it?" He cast a look at me, boyishly smiling all over his face.

"A bit... complicated." I raised my brows, trying to remember if I had ever heard of an incident that could be linked to this. "It didn't work, though, right?" I tilted my head slightly. No, there was nothing I could remember. "A story like that would be famous."

The Master grumbled something inaudible into his beard. Something about the Doctor being infuriating. I puzzled together that he probably had foiled the plan. "There were still enough people, who died from it," the Master concluded in the end. "There we are."

He opened a door and lead me into a cantina of sorts. It looked modern, but not futuristic, cosy grey and blue tones decorated the room, there was a kitchen counter, some machines I couldn't identify and a table with a bunch of chairs.

"But don't you think I will cook for you or something stupid like that," the Master spat and shoved me in the direction of the machines. "There. They produce whatever you want."

"Just like that?" I curiously tapped the screen in front of me, grinning as it sprang to life and showed a bunch of items. There were different categories, enabling me to let it either produce ingredients or whole meals. "Huh, like a replicator. Cool!"

There was an annoyed growl from behind me and when I looked back, the Master stood there with folded arms and furrowed brows.

"What did I do wrong, this time?" I asked and sighed. "The Star Trek reference?"

"The not being bothered about me telling you about murdering countless of your species," he grumbled.

"Oh... sorry." I shrugged and turned back to the machine, my mind way too occupied by too many choices and a growling stomach. "Is there nothing with meat in it?"

The Master let out an exasperated grunt, stepped next to me and tapped one of the icons.

"Ah, thanks! Missed that one," I exclaimed happily and decided to let the machine produce something that looked like a burger. "Gosh, I'm really starving."

"I'm noticing," came a meek reply.

"Oh, come on. I wasn't even there. Why should it bother me who you murdered?" I raised a questioning eyebrow at him. "It's like crying every time you hear about someone dying in the news."

"Cold hearted twat."

"Wha-haaat?" I let out indignantly. "You're one to talk! You tell it like it's a game!"

"Because it is!" he snapped. "Your race means nothing to me."

"But I am the cold hearted one, yeah?" I snorted and watched the machine as it started to seemingly assemble atoms. It looked like magic, how a plate slowly manifested, then the burger. And next to it a plastic cup with coffee. "Want something, too?" I asked before taking both items to carry them to the table.

"You're insufferable," he growled back.

"A simple 'no' would have done it, too, ya know?"

"How about you don't even try to be nice to me? I won't thank you."

"Nice?" I asked puzzled."Geeze... if being a little considerate already counts as nice, then I really don't want to know what your life looked like, so far." Shaking my head I sat down in one of the chairs and started to shove the burger into me. It was exceptionally delicious and hard to believe that none of it was made out of real ingredients.

The Master planted himself on a chair opposite to me, elbows on the table, chin resting on folded hands. I decided not to be bothered by his staring, too hungry to let the remnants of my beaten social anxiety take over. Somewhere in-between bites, however, I recalled a small detail he had mentioned and I put down the food to glare back at him.

"You said that was some decades ago."

The Master only lifted an eyebrow.

"You... don't look much older than maybe... in your mid thirties or so?" I elaborated.

At that his smug smirk was back. Only that, though, leaving it to me to figure this out.

"You don't age like we do? You get older than humans? Or..." I pondered for a second, coming to the conclusion that the thought wasn't so farfetched, now that I mulled over it. "That's not your actual body, and in reality you're some slimy creature that highjacked it to not attract attention."

With every word his smile grew wider until the Master finally burst out into laughter, from which he recovered quickly, though.

"I like the last one. There are enough species who can do similar things." He chuckled. "But it's the first two. We Time Lords are simply better than you lot. In. Every. Aspect. Means, we don't age as fast as you, and, additionally we live a lot longer. And, on top of that, we don't die so easily. And if we do... well... we can even cheat that, to an extent."

"Okay, I start to believe the thing about the superiority," I let out after swallowing the last bite. "How old are you, then? In earthen years."

He made a face as if he had to actually think about it, but somehow I was convinced he already knew and made it just for show.

"Give or take a few decades," he stated with a smug grin, "roughly nine hundred years."

It took me some seconds to decide whether or not I had heard right. Was that even possible? Was he fooling me? And if not... what did such an old creature really want from me?


	13. Part II (VIII)

"You're bluffing," I deadpanned with squinted eyes, even though I somewhat believed it. Everything was possible with an alien. But he looked so... young, if not for his eyes. They told another story. One of countless years, unimaginable suffering and so, so much loneliness. All of it shining through for a mere moment.

He huffed and smiled bitterly. "Wish you were right, little one."

I took a sip from my coffee and studied his face for a while longer, especially since he wasn't focusing on me, but rather at something within his own mind. It almost seemed as if he were in pain, barely able to hold up the facade of nonchalance. His hands sank to the table, one forefinger taping against his other hand. Always in the same rhythm.

Tap, tap, tap, tap.

Pause.

tap, tap, tap, tap.

Pause.

Always the same, never changing in speed. _How odd_ , I thought as I emptied the coffee, still contemplating what to ask next. What did I want know about him? What person was he? Old, okay. Cruel, definitely. Heartless?

No.

I had met many people throughout my life. Many people that could be considered bad in countless ways. Psychopaths, way too many narcissists and other dysfunctional people. They all shared the same cold charm that was designed to lull you into a false state of safety, but still gave me a sense of... _wrongness_ when I was near them. They all wanted you to succumb to sympathy and trust, for them to be able to get into your head and break you for good.

The Master, however, was just downright blunt with his self-proclaimed evilness. He didn't seem to care at all what I thought of him, wasn't interested in building some kind of fake trust, although I was rather certain he could, if any of his plans required it. And right now, it actually did. So why did he behave as if he wanted to shove me away as far as possible, even though he needed my willing help?

I sighed and shook my head. This guy just made no sense at all. How he sat there, lost in whatever thoughts, tapping the strange rhythm. But now his eyes actually showed the pain somewhat. Whatever plagued him seemed to get worse.

"Hey," I quietly interrupted his and my own musings, "are you okay?"

He woke from a dream, a nightmare, a memory too painful to bare. His eyes were wide in an almost childlike manner, surprised, pained, desperate even. He opened his mouth as if to speak, but closed it again, pinched his eyes shut and suddenly let out a quiet groan, while his hands shot to his head, clawing into his hair.

"Master?" I tried again, uncertain what was wrong and what to do about it.

There was no answer, not the slightest hint that told me he even heard me. Instead he only sank further down, fingers stiff, but also twitching from time to time. Finally I shot from my chair and walked over, placed a hand on his underarm to get his attention.

And I got it. Way too fast for me to react, his head shot up, he grabbed my wrist and pushed me away from him. His eyes were clouded by what I could only be describe as unadulterated madness. But not the type one would find in a psych ward. This went deeper, far deeper, as if a foreign entity was scraping at his very existence.

"It hurts," he muttered, sounding desperate. "It never actually _hurt_ before!"

"C... can I help somehow?" I wanted to know, barely able to cope with the sight. I could feel that he wasn't acting. Whatever happened was very real.

Suddenly he sprang from the chair, made it clatter to the ground behind him, his hand still around my wrist, the second suddenly grabbing my collar. He growled. _Actually growled_. Like a wounded wolf.

"Insufferable thing you are," he snarled with disgust. "Don't think I will let you go just because you _pretend to care_!"

With his last words he slammed me onto the table, both hands around my throat, thumbs pressing against my windpipe. Not enough to really strangle me, but painful and awakening some of those old survival instincts I wasn't even aware I possessed. But there wasn't much I could do, trapped between him and the table, his truly inhuman strength holding me in place with ease.

"Not... true..." I brought out somehow, feeling my vocal cords rub against his thumbs. Such an odd sensation.

There was a pained smile on his lips for a moment, then he tore me up and just threw be to the ground. My back and head hit the floor, the impact letting stars dance in front of my eyes. I barely noticed the pain, only how my consciousness flickered back to life a moment later.

Or maybe more than one. When the stars and black spots vanished there was a dull throbbing in the back of my head and I heard a voice.

Not the Master's.

"...were you even thinking?" the Doctor called out exasperated.

"Oi, _you_ always have pets! Let me have one of my own," the Master answered snappishly.

" _Humans aren't pets!_ "

"Oh, reeeeaaaaally?" the Master drawled with mock surprise, "What a revelation, coming from you."

What followed was a heavy sigh and a few seconds of silence, in which I finally realized that I wasn't lying on the floor anymore, but on a softer surface. Opening my eyes revealed a med bay of sorts, countless weird devices and monitors around me, some noises that were impossible to assign.

Okay, I definitely had been out for longer. Nothing hurt, though, or felt strange, so I hoped everything was alright with me. Reason enough to close my eyes once more and lull myself into a few more moments of peace and quiet, not wanting to face the question what would now happen with me. Our little game was over before it had even begun properly.

The Doctor spoke up again, his voice quiet now, "I'm really trying to help you, you know?"

The Master snorted. "As if any of those bloody tests of yours would reveal anything. I searched for centuries! I went to any place known and unknown to find _someone_ to tell me how to get rid of the drums! Guess what? They are _still_ in my head!"

"I... I know! I'm trying, okay?" the other Time Lord sighed again. "But maybe you should consider that they are just... weeeell... in your head?"

The Master groaned irritated.

"Some kids got a lot worse maladies from looking into the Schism," the Doctor tried to defend himself.

"Tch, yeah... but those had the luck to completely go mad. And not..." It sounded as if he had thrown his hands up and was now dropping them down to his legs. "Can't expect you to believe me, though... You never have."

"Not this again. Listen, Master... I'm not going to let you run around and wreak havoc all over the universe. But I also do _not want_ to treat you as a prisoner!"

With that I heard angry steps quickly departing, followed by a slammed shut door.

"Hypocrite," the Master grumbled, but then stayed silent.

Did he leave, too? The door didn't resound a second time and otherwise there was only a lot of different and alien humming noises around me. Finally I decided to open my eyes again, only to blink into a curious face that slowly got graced by a mischievous smile.

"You too think it was a stupid idea to leave me with you in one room?" he asked, eyes wrinkled in joy. "He forgot that I'm all about wreaking havoc over the universe."

Slowly I sat up and rubbed my still slightly throbbing head. "Aren't you?"

Strangely enough his smile faded. The Master glared at me for another moment, then sat on the bed next to my feet, arms crossed.

"I didn't lie about my age. What do you think, lill' lumin? All those years... what would you do with them?"

"Uh... phew..." I sat up and looked around for my glasses. "No idea, seriously."

"Looking for those?" He pointed at a small table with drawers next to him that was littered with... stuff. I squinted my eyes at it, but couldn't make out anything. The Master reached over, picked something up and wordlessly handed it to me. "You can't even begin to comprehend how much time that is, right?"

"Thanks... no, not really." Numbly I glared at my specs, thinking about the past thirty years. About all the shit I had been through. "Sometimes it feels as if every second is one too much," I mumbled so quietly, I wasn't sure the Master even heard it.

"Think so?" He tilted his head a little. "There' so much to do, though."

"So many places to burn and so many lives to take?" My words were dry, bare of any emotion. The slight smile on his lips confirmed my words to be true. "Would I have your possibilities... I don't know what I would do. And if it wouldn't do worse."

The Master chuckled. "My, aren't you cold hearted."

I shrugged and finally put on the glasses. His face was such a carefully crafted mask of mischief. But behind... right now there was something else behind those hazel eyes. Something calm, the perfect opposite to the madness that had clouded them before.

"'m not sure I have a heart," I confessed. "And I wouldn't want to wander the universe being all alone. Would probably be worse than my current life."

"Yeah..."

Just this word. This tiny sound of agreement. It told so much. Revealed so many unspoken truths. There was a sense of sadness in the air, thick and almost palpable. I swallowed and looked away, right in time to see the door opening.

"Oi! Get away from her!" the Doctor called out and rushed over.

Mockingly holding his hands up the Master sprang from the bed and took a step away. "As you command, Lord Doctor."

The other man rolled his eyes. Then he gave me a warm smile and rushed over.

"We only talked," I assured. "He hasn't done anything."

The two cast a glance at one another I couldn't decipher. It was obvious that the Doctor didn't believe my words and he studied my face closely as if to make sure I wasn't... oh right... hypnotized. It seemed he was satisfied, the smile wandering back to his lips as he pulled out his strange, noisy wand - I still had no clue what it was.

"Mhm, all readings are fine. You're good, Lucy. Come, come." He clapped his hands and reached one out to me. "Get up. We'll get you back home."

"H... home?" I asked dumbfounded as I got up, without his help.

"Yeah, of course! I'm not letting him hold you prisoner! Not on my watch!" The Doctor grinned from ear to ear, gesturing the other Time Lord towards the doors. "You first."

The Master rolled his eyes, but moved. It seemed as if he was already used to the procedure and somehow I was quite sure it hadn't always worked so smoothly. In the beginning he probably had put up a fight. But somehow it now seemed less effort to just follow along. As did I.

"Do... you have to bring me home?" I asked carefully.

"Why, of course! My special service. Free of charge," he joked and giggled to himself.

"And I can't just... stay? It was so cool to..."

"No!"

Abruptly he stood and I almost bumped into him. The look in his chocolate brown eyes was deadly serious all of a sudden, darting towards his fellow Time Lord for a second, then back to me. The smile returned, as if it was routine.

"It's too dangerous. I don't want you to get harmed, Lucy. And I don't think, travelling is... It wouldn't do you good."

"You mean," the Master interrupted snidely, "you're afraid she could not fit into your category of big eyed human puppy with a way too soft heart and a too high moral ground? Ohhhh, right! That’s not the reason, is it? She needs protection! _From me!_ "

"Quite right!" the Doctor snapped, leaving it open which part exactly he answered with it.

For the rest of the way we stayed silent. I tried to ignore the mean lump in my throat and the nasty feeling in my stomach. Not again. _Not again!_ I didn't want to be stuck on earth, forever!

The though repeated in my head like the songtext to the wheezing and whoozing of engines, as we rushed from one place to the other in seemingly no time. It didn't yield the same fascination in me now. I didn't care how we could move so fast.

The Doctor was busy with his control table, the Master leaned with crossed arms against one of the coral pillars, seemingly unfazed by the rumbling and shaking. It eventually stopped and I managed to catch his eyes for a brief moment on my way to the doors, begging him with mine to do something.

But all I got in return was a bitter smile.

"I'll help," I whispered while passing him. If the Master had heard my words and how he reacted I couldn't know.

Outside the TARDIS was broad daylight, greeting me with warm rays and busy streets. The Doctor waved goodbye, promising to take care this would never happen again. And I knew... oh I knew so well that he was doing the right thing. That he was protecting me and maybe countless of lives and places.

But in this moment I hoped for nothing more than the Master to escape again.


	14. Part III - When there is nothing left

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhhhh... guess I already warned you at the beginning, but this story is getting really dark somehow. (And this isn't even the really dark part, lol)

Returning home for the second time was even more uncanny than the first. I had been away for only such a short time, but it felt like a small eternity had passed. Everything around me seemed wrong and out of place.

Numbly I closed the door in my back and sunk down against it, wrapped my arms around the knees to bury my face. It wouldn't take long. Just a few minutes or hours and there would be a knock on the door and the Master standing outside with his stupid grin.

I wondered what had been wrong with him before. Something had made him just snap all of a sudden. My head was still throbbing a little, making me scowl. Maybe it would be better to stay away from that man. In the end it didn't matter if he was just unnecessarily cruel or truly mad. The outcome was pain.

With a sigh I lifted myself from the ground and strolled over to my PC. Distraction. I'd need lots of it.

* * *

.

* * *

Hours turned into days, turned into weeks. Getting back to normal was even harder the second time. I tried to occupy my mind with Netflix, drawing random things and spending more time in chats than necessary.

It didn't help.

I tripled my efforts to find work, to no avail. I pushed myself to go outside as often as possible, meeting with people, even though there was no energy left in me to deal with them. Decades of wearing social masks had taught me to hide, to appear friendly and joyful at all times. But was that really me?

One evening I lazily browsed through the internet, searching for alien encounters. This had become quite the obsession. I found so many pictures and reports of the blue box, it was almost hilarious. It seemed as if the two visited earth more often. Maybe I could find them again, somehow. And there was so much to find! Theories, blogs, creepy pastas... it was so easy to get lost in this virtual world.

So much so that I, eventually, stopped going outside much, stopped meeting with people, stopped hanging around in all those chats. And I didn't even notice at first, my mind to occupied by my searching.

It could have been a month or two, after the obsession had started, that I finally opened my chat program and booted up my phone again to look what had happened since I had gone. There was one message from Alice, asking if I could lend her some money, one from a fellow writer who wanted me to read his stuff. I looked through all the channels I usually was in, searching for any mentions of my username.

Ten minutes later I put everything down. Gone for over a month, and not a single person had asked where I was or if I was alright.

I sighed and picked up my drawing tablet, clicking on some random horror movie. Usually I'm easily scared by those, but nowadays they didn't bother me much. It didn't dispel the numbness in my mind, didn't evoke the slightest rising of my heartbeat.

Eventually I caught myself just glaring at the monitor, not doing a single stroke and having no clue what had happened in the movie so far.

Still no messages.

* * *

.

* * *

More time passed with research and long sessions of wandering around aimlessly. The forest in my area became my go-to place during the summer months, then during autumn. I loved the peace and quiet here, the shy animals, the birds singing, wind rustling through leaves, rays of sun shining through thick crowns. I watched the leaves turn colourful and fall, blanketing the ground to my feet.

How long had it been that I had spoken to another person? Curious as I was I had not messaged anyone, just to see if anyone would ever ask about my whereabouts. They all had my phone number, my mail address, my chat name. But neither family, nor my real life contacts from town, nor my so called friends from online ever dropped by.

Somehow I started to truly wonder if I even existed. Surely, no one could be _that_ unimportant to everybody, could they?

* * *

.

* * *

Over a year had passed.

It was a hot day in August and I hid from the seething heat. My apartment was a little cooler than the outside, making me rarely leave the house for the past weeks. Here and there I had gotten back to playing Pokémon with the guys in town. No one even asked where I had been, and it was clear that I didn't belong. Never had.

Still I laughed at their jokes, kept up my social mask, was kind and lent a hand whenever needed. There seldom was a thanks, and never did anyone help me in return. No surprise. That's just how humans operate. That much I had learned.

But it was still better than being completely alone, right?

Or was it?

* * *

.

* * *

I glared at the ticket in my hand. A train ride to Scotland's highest north. There wasn't much I would take with me. What for?

As I took out my favourite hoodie from the wardrobe, something clattered to the ground, came to a slithering halt in front of my feet.

The small hand gun.

Numbly I picked it up and tossed it back inside. So often I had contemplated using it, but what use was revenge? It wouldn't make undone the damage she had done to my life. It wouldn't turn me into a proper human being, one that was accepted among their own kind. It would do nothing. Sure, my Dad and little sister would have a much better life. But if they were too weak to defend themselves, why was I supposed to do the dirty work?

The ride was calm, the weather hot. People were visibly unnerved by it, acting even harsher towards each other than usually. Not seldom was I roughly pushed out of the way or bumped into. I'm not sure what it is exactly, but something about me seems to make people just overlook me all the time.

I'd be a great spy!

The train station was full, busy, but no one took notice of me, no one apologized for running me over. One old lady even scolded me after she had run her rollator into _my_ ankles. I simply ignored her and trudged towards the exit.

It was still early afternoon, my backpack light, the way long. Walking was always nice, calming, in a way. The only thing I was still able to enjoy. What else was left? Without a goal, without a task, without anyone to care about, and no one who cared about me...

All I could do was to go on, to walk, to move. On and on and on. Like one of those undead from one of my video games, cursed to always reappear, no matter how often they were defeated, unable to die, unable to stop. All they could do was to move on. Or to go insane.

And I wanted neither of those options.

It had been a dream, I realized, birds singing in the trees around me. There had never been such a thing as aliens. The sky wore a pale blue, not a single cloud tainting the colour. A reverie. One of many. My mind was so good at creating those, at vanishing deep within stories it had woven together on its own. From the earliest days of my childhood I had done this. Deeming the fantasy a much better place than the cold reality around.

So many months had passed. The gun? The money? I had no idea where they came from, but there surely was an explanation. There had to be one. I probably had gotten drunk, had even robbed someone. Which would explain the gun, honestly. And why shouldn't I? Life had never been kind to me, neither had humans. I owed them nothing.

The path was narrow, evening drew close. Good thing there was the internet. It had been astonishingly easy to find a good spot. Somewhere in the wilds, where people seldom went. Somewhere near the sea, close to the forest still.

The animals around these parts were shy and careful, ran away as soon as they spotted me. It still was nice to get a quick glance at a few. Rare sights. There wasn't a path any longer, but it wasn't far now.

Eventually the trees gave way and a scent of salt roughened the air. The soft noise of waves travelled to my ears. And finally I was there. A small patch of grey sand, moss covered rocks, the bluest blue of the ocean right in front of me.

For the first time in months I actually smiled. What a beautiful sight.

As the sun set over the water, I got out a few things I would need to start a fire and have diner. Just some canned food. I knew, after the long walk I wouldn't have energy left to actually fish. Not that I had any clue how to do that properly.

The black velvet curtain of night drew close, wrapped itself over the world. One by one the stars appeared, guiding lights in the never ending bleakness of existence. I lay on my back, not minding the sand, and glared up at the tiny dots above me. Waves caressed the shore, flames danced in the doldrums. My hand brushed a tiny object in the chest pocket of the thin jacket I had put on.

I tapped against it, wondering what it might be. The button was missing. Carefully I opened the flap and fished out the object, my eyes widening at the unexpected sight.

It was a tiny glass bottle, filled with countless floating lights, like fireflies. The creatures the Doctor had caught for me, as a souvenir, a memory, a confirmation that everything had been truly real.

I shot up to my feet and glared at the bottle in my fingers. Then I wound up and threw it wide away into the waves, crashing to my knees with a sob.

It had been real.

And I had truly been left behind.


	15. Part III (II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I guess this is the really _dark_ dark part, now (Very non-explicit I hope).
> 
> Thanks for your reviews! They really brighten my day! It's so cool to see that people enjoy this! Iiiiiiiiiep! (´ ▽｀).。ｏ  
> (Okay, way too happy A/N for such a dark chapter... let's calm down a bit... =v=) I'm actually a little anxious to post this... welp!

It wouldn't be my life if it wouldn't give me one final blow below the belt line. To be reminded that it all had been real, that I was, indeed all alone in the universe... But maybe it wasn't so bad, after all solidifying my decision to put an end to this.

One last gaze turned upwards to the sky and the glistening stars within its depth, taunting me with their unreachable radiance that lay within eternity.

I returned to the warming fire, sat next to it in a comfortable position and got out the small razor blade from my bag. The thin metal weighed heavy between my fingers, it's meaning and purpose supposed to fill me with dread, but instead I felt utterly calm as I lowered it to my wrist, as if I were merely a wave in the ocean, a leave on the branch of a nearby tree, the fleeting thought of child's dream, forgotten by the last retreating strands of night.

When I was done I tossed the blade into the flames, staring up at the sky once again, still calm and weirdly relaxed, just waiting for the world to stop.

Despite my previous outburst I neither felt a sense of despair, nor did I feel lost. It had been a cold, carefully calculated decision to come here. Now my ears filled with the soft mix of nature, water gently caressing the shore, the fire crackling soothingly. I actually felt warm and comfortable in this very moment, wishing I could simply freeze it in time. But that wasn't possible. Sooner than later it would end and the coldness would return with nothing to dispel it from my soul ever again.

"My, what are you stupid," came a sarcastic voice from behind.

My head snapped around, confused, shocked. Into my line of sight - clad in black pants, a dark red dress shirt and a black waistcoat over it - stepped no one else than the Master, sand crunching under his boots, the sound tearing into my calming world.

"Wha... how?" I brought out dumbfounded. This was a completely secluded area, kilometres away from civilisation.

"Ah, I have my ways." With a grin he tapped against a device on a wide strap on his wrist and squatted down in front of me. His eyes wandered over my face, down to my wrists. Almost gently he took them into his hands, studying the cuts. I still was too perplex to properly react and didn't fight it. "Sloppy work," he murmured. "Like that it will take quite some time."

I sighed wearily. "That's the point. Wanted to watch the stars for a bit longer." My eyes locked with his. It was so hard to believe that he was actually here. Or was it a dream? Was I already gone? It didn't matter anymore, the decision was made. I tried to tear my hands away from him, but he held tight. So I only scowled and muttered, "You came too late."

The Master raised a brow, then cracked a mean smile. "No, I'm already here for exactly twenty-two minutes and thirteen seconds." The smile widened, showed a weirdly fascinating cruelty. "Bet you want to know why I didn't stop you."

Did I? Right now nothing bothered me anymore. I only rolled my eyes, tired of any games. But I just couldn't help it. "Oh, I'm _dying_ to hear your reasons."

His face dropped at the bad pun, which actually forced an involuntary smile onto my own lips. Where did that come from?

"You're bleeding out and you joke about it!" he exclaimed."Are you serious?"

I nodded with a stern face. " _Dead_ serious." It was no help, the giggle simply escaped me at his sight. "What? Don't look so annoyed. No one ever said I have to go with a grumpy face."

Finally he snorted, the nasty grin returning to his lips. He slid his thumb over one of the cuts and licked the blood from it. _Oh great_ , I thought, _a vampire too?_ "Your iron levels are a bit low," he remarked, as if that were the most important thing right now. Probably just to boast about his abilities.

"Well..." again I tried to get my hands free, and this time he let go, "Guess it won't kill me."

What followed was a disbelieving glare, then the Master burst out into a laugh that was so contagious that it let one bubble up from within my own chest. For some reason I enjoyed that I could make him laugh like that, even if it was about my own end. But it was a genuine laugh, no masks, no pretending. It seemed to me as if he hadn't laughed like that for a very long time, didn't have a reason for it. There was just too much pain in his eyes.

How could he endure all of it?

Finally, though, the nasty grin returned, the flicker of cruelty, telling how much he enjoyed his next words. "I was curious if you'd really do it, if you had it in you." He tapped against my head. "However stupid it might be. Satisfied?"

I huffed and glanced away, but confessed, "No regrets here. It just... well... the cuts hurt. Lot more than I thought they would."

"Idiot, what did you expect?" He poked out his tongue, but then his face took on a weird seriousness. The Master dropped from his haunches to his knees and stretched his hands out to grab my head, thumbs pressing against my temples. "I can't make the pain vanish," he told as I instinctively tried to back way. He wouldn't let me, though, and stayed like that for a few second. "Here... you shouldn't feel it consciously anymore."

Perplex I blinked up at him as he retreated from me. Indeed, I didn't feel any pain anymore and sighed deeply. Breathing got a little harder now, my head started to feel dizzy, but still I was conscious enough to wonder. So he could use his mind controls skills for something like that too. Interesting.

The Master moved and sat right next to me, hands folded around his bent knees, his eyes fixated on the sky above, reflecting the many stars in their hazel depths.

Somewhere in my fading awareness appeared the thought that I had no clue who he actually was. The few snippet I had gathered weren't even remotely enough to tell. And why was he here, now?

I glanced down.

Drip, drip, drip.

What a fine mess I created there. Good thing no one would have to tidy up after me. It was almost hypnotic to watch, with nothing but the crackling fire and the calm waves in the background.

"Want me to save you?"

His mocking voice made me look up again, realizing my sight to be a little blurred by now. My heart beat almost frantically in my chest, trying to compensate. But nothing hurt. Neither my body, nor my mind. There were only the two of us, sharing the calm, the soothing noises around, the soft wind.

For maybe the first time in my life I actually felt completely peaceful. And so I shook my head.

"No. Don't you dare." I smiled bitterly. "That would be cruel."

The Master raised a brow, the corner of his mouth twitching slightly. "Why?" And when he got only a confused blink as an answer, he elaborated, "Why do you just give up?"

I laughed. Or at least tried to, but only brought out a noiseless chuckle. The dizziness got stronger, made me sway. I leaned sideways, dropped my head against his shoulder, uncaring about if he would let me. But there was no resistance, and so I stayed like this, trying to breath, feeling my heart pounding.

"'m not giving up," I mumbled drowsily. "'s just so useless. I don't want to go on anymore. Done it long enough, always hoped I would find a place to belong, somewhere. Be important. To someone. Anyone. If only for a single person." I took some deep breaths, trying to keep the shivers at bay that ran down my body. It was so incredibly cold, despite the temperatures and the fire. "Have no place to go, no purpose. No one cares." My eyes closed, my voice getting almost nothing but a whisper. "'m just so tired, Master."

He was silent for a moment, his next words barely reaching my ears, "Little dying light, fading ember of midnight skies."

I turned my head to meet his gaze, finding a weird look of sadness in it. He smiled at my confused sight.

"A line from an old children's rhyme from... home." The last word was almost whispered, bearing the pain from a not yet healed wound. "I should leave now. Let you sleep."

I sensed from him the same loneliness I had gotten so used to, seeping through the last threads of awareness my mind had left over. I lowered my head, sighed. Huddled a little closer.

"Can you... stay?" I brought out, realizing I was shivering from the cold. "Just until... I... don't want to die alone." Another shiver went through me, my lips quivering. "It... it's gotten so cold..."

"Your body stops functioning," he explained softly, but still with an edge of teasing in his voice. "You really should have looked up what that would do to you." The Master chuckled as if it were the most hilarious thing.

Then he moved, and I was certain he would just leave me here. Even though I hadn't awaited company I now felt a cold sting of sadness in my chest, shivered some more. Maybe he could take the cold away from me as he had done with the pain? The thought was in my mind, but never left my lips.

Instead of away, however, he slid behind me, his arms wrapping firmly around my middle to pull me against his chest. At every other moment it would have startled, maybe even frightened me. But soon the warmth of his body seeped into my bones and melted away all loneliness in my mind. Had I ever been held like that? The cold wouldn't vanish entirely, but soon ceased enough to make me sigh content, too tired to think much more.

The Master snorted. "Of all people to keep you company you pick the worst one."

I shook my head, slow and carefully, my blurring sight only getting worse from it. "Not true. You're staying with me. You don't force me to live on. That's a kind thing to do." For so long I had pondered about it. Why it had been that I had felt so comfortable with him during that long hours in the train. Even after he had threatened my life. Only as way too many weeks and months had gone bye I realized it, what it had been. What I had felt. "You have a warm heart," I whispered.

This time it was a loud laugh, its vibration running through my numbing body like a wave, momentarily shaking me awake once more. "You really are a weird one," he stated amused and carefully rested his chin on top of my head.

It made me smile tiredly. There was no energy left in me to explain. And he wouldn't have listened, anyway. So I sunk together a little more, only through a hazy fog noticing that his heartbeat in my back felt strange. But there was warmth, I was held securely. It wasn't lonely, it wasn't cold. The stars shone bright, each a dream in the waking world, dropping their light into the calm, black waves that lulled me into the last slumber. The dancing sparks of dying flames carried away a story that would never be told. Maybe _he_ would remember. For a while. It didn't matter any longer. I smiled, sighed with a rattling breath and finally let go, allowed my mind to slip away into the welcoming darkness.

Crackling fire, murmuring sea, whistling trees under the singing stars. And a voice, deep and quiet, almost sad. The last thing I heard before the coat of darkness overtook me at last.

"I am not a kind man, little light."


	16. Part III (III)

There was neither light nor temperature in this place, nor was there emotion or memory. Only the nothingness, the void. Floating... through an endless ocean of calm, in the river of still-stood time. I merely existed.

A light. Something stirred in me.

A spec of not-darkness.

Another one. And suddenly... thousands more, bursting through the blackness like a snowstorm, raising , shooting through the void. Golden stars, audibly glittering all around. The noises became loud, so loud. One of them came close. I raised my arms to cover my face.

Collision.

A flash.

_He was all alone on the hill, watching the suns set and tinting the red grass in beautiful purple. The last night here. The last hours. Soon he would steal a TARDIS, do as the Doctor had done... without him, even though they had vowed to travel the universe together, to escape the strict rules of their home to be free. But he had gotten oh so scared. And now he was alone. But he wouldn't stay. There was so much to see, to do._

Another star, it chimed so loud, whispering, singing.

_Someone hummed a melody, faint and beautiful. He sat there and listened for a while, smiled even when her gaze met his. She hadn't agreed to hand over information, instead she would sing the oldest ballad of her home for him. When the woman was done he stood, smiled, raised his laser gun and shot a hole right through her chest. For not being useful._

Light, chiming, flashing.

_How many planets had he conquered already? He sat on the table and looked over star maps, marking every place with a small red X. This was getting boring._

Stars. So many stars. All hitting, all singing, too fast, too many.

_Music. People dancing. Someone laughed. From somewhere else there came a scream, then fire burst through the giant window. He ran. He ran over red fields, looked behind, saw the face of a smiling boy his age, grinned back. There were creatures as old as the universe, and he had the key to control them, make them obey him. The book's pages crumbling to dust under his fingers._

Stars.

_Blood. Screams. He didn't care. His goal was clear._

Collision.

_He cried up at the stars, begged them to give him a new body, to end his agony. Hands shrivelled, the hood hurting his decaying skin._

Chimes and whistles.

_They all betrayed him in the end. Why should he even try to be good? Each time he did, it ended bad. So bad. He dragged himself to the TARDIS, hand pressing against the wound, knowing he wouldn't make it in time._

Millions of golden stars burst into dust. It was so beautiful, calm destruction.

_He could. Oh he could indeed love. But may he be dammed to ever let another living thing steal his hearts. Betrayed again, by his own kind. It hurt. It hurt so damn much he didn't even know if it would kill him or not._

Sharp edges of blinding lights.

_A laugh, loud and cruel. It was fun, it felt good. To just let go, to no longer care for anything but his own goals. Might this daft boy die here for him, if it meant to get a new body. What should he care?_

An echo. A sound. Rippling through the chimes.

_Red skies, burning. Blood and smoke and fire. The smell of burnt flesh, hot metal stinking. The carcasses of machines piling up around him. Good warrior. Do as we say. No. He shook his head, glared down at his shred hands. No more. No more. Not with me!_

The sound. Louder than before. Closer. Stars fading, slowing.

_He bent over, sick to his stomach, shaking, cold sweat on his skin. Still wearing the clothes of the old fool he had pretended to be. It was so loud. So loud. He wanted to scream. He wanted to make the Doctor suffer for bringing them back, for dragging him out of the fob watch. It wasn't fair!_

It's not fair, I thought without knowing what it meant, reaching my hand out to touch the last passing star. There had been almost silence, but _they_ had been brought back.

What had been?

Why where there no stars anymore?

It was so dark all of a sudden. So dark and lonely. All that had stayed behind was the sound, the steady, approaching sound. The closer it came the better I heard, the clearer I got, the farther away something pulled me from it. But I had to stay! I had to know! I wanted the stars back! It was... it was... calm. There was no pain, had not been. Now there was something, something bad. This place no longer accepted me, pushed me away, far, far away from the approaching noise.

Darkness. A flash. A breath, taken deep, as if resurfacing from a deep dive. And there the sound was. I had found it!

Du – du – du – du

It guided me. Like a beacon through the everlasting void.

Du – du – du – du

Soothing. Repeating. Always repeating. Always the same.

Du – du – du – du

Du – du – du – du

Du – du – du – du

It changed. Was the same and was not. Became cold, threatening. The beating closed in on me, ate into my mind, spread through my very existence. Every beat vibrating through me, hurting. No, not hurting. Still...

Light. There was light. And sounds, more sounds than the drumming. Slight buzzing of electric lights, beeps and whirrs from strange machines. A breath. The rustling of cloth. All of it drowning out the ever repeating four beats.

There were only two. Fast, but steady. My own heart.

My eyes opened so slow as if bricks weighed them down, as if someone had glued them together, the effort to drag my lids upwards almost too much. Success... in the end. I blinked. Above me was a white ceiling, plain and without information.

What was I laying on? Soft. A mattress? No blanket, but it was warm in here. My head turned to the right, found a room, not large, filled with strange machines that blinked and beeped. There was a simple folding chair and on it... a man. I knew him, didn't I? The brown, tousled hair, the rectangular specs.

He looked up, raised a brow and closed the book he had been reading.

"Ah, you're awake," the Doctor stated the obvious, his voice strangely sounding almost disappointed? No, it was something else. "A little too early."

"Wha'..." My own voice was raspy, sounded strange to my own ears.

"It's okay," he assured with a small, warm smile. He stood and trod closer, bent a little down to me, hands in his suit pockets. "You're out of danger." His brows raised again and he drawled, "Might take a while to fully heal, though."

My mind barely processed his words. Everything was so foggy, hard to grasp. "I'm... alive." The simple truth, albeit without meaning in my current inane state.

The Doctor's face turned thoughtful again, his brows knitted together tightly, looked at something behind me. Carefully I turned my head to the left and found I wasn't occupying the sickbed alone. The Master was there, a hand's width away. He lay on his side, facing me and sound asleep, head draped on one bent arm. Confused I looked back at the Doctor.

"What's he doing here?" It made no sense. Nothing made, right now, but his presence seemed weirder than the rest.

"Weeell..." The Doctor straightened, ruffled the hair on his neck. "See, that's the thing. You're still alive because of him. Came stomping in here, shouting, insulting me... carrying you."

"I was gone," I muttered weekly, remembering the dark, the calm.

"Yes..." He visibly hesitated, kneading his hands. "You were dead. Proper dead, I mean. Not for long, however. The Master, he... it's hard to explain. I have no idea why he did it. Honestly."

"Did... what?"

"Safe you." There was a deep sigh as he pushed both hands inside his pant pockets. "It's hard to bring one back from death. Possible, if it was recent enough. Dangerous, though. Oh... oh so dangerous..." He trailed off, staring into the distance. His eyes returned to me, questions upon questions shining within them. "Shared a part of his own life force with you."

"Huh?" I only managed to blink perplex, unable to understand what this meant.

"Told him not to. It's risky. Could have gone wrong. Very wrong." He clicked his tongue, raising his brows again in wonderment. "Didn't listen to a word I said. Now, here he is, probably lost a few years of his own life... not that he would hesitate to steal them back from someone else... Still... It's an exhaustive process."

"Is he... okay?" I asked, looking back at the sleeping Time Lord. In opposite to me he didn't have any tubes hanging on him. Why did I? Everything was so hard to grasp. Was I asleep? Was this even real? My eyes closed, my mind drifting away. Tired, so tired. But no... I had to know. "Will he be alright?"

For the first time the Doctor chuckled lightly. "Daaaah, of course he will! The Master is like... Hell, I sometimes don't believe he even _can_ die!" He waved his words away and rocked back and forth on his heels. "He's just exhausted. Needs rest, as do you. And part of his life force is still flowing into you."

"I don't feel anything," I mumbled, pouting a little. Something like that happened and I couldn't even notice.

"Mhm... doesn't surprise me. Humans aren't very sensible to that. Well... anyway. I'll let you sleep a little more. Until the transfer is fully done you two have to stay close. So, even if you wake up again, don't run off, okay?"

I hummed confirming, already drifting back into darkness. Alive. What did that even mean? It made as less sense as everything else. My eyes were so heavy. It was... cold. No, it wasn't. Not in the room, but inside myself. How weird. And I missed the soothing noise from before. Not the threatening one, but... right. I remembered where it had come from and turned to my side, huddling close to the Master to rest my head against his chest.

"Oh, I wouldn't do... that..." the Doctor's voice stumbled into my fading consciousness. "Ah, well... whatever."

I had no clue what he meant, the void claiming me back, the only thing inside my awareness was the soothing rhythm of four against my ear, lulling me in, dispelling the cold. Finally.

Finally it was warm.


	17. Part III (IV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rewatching the first seasons I realised what a prick the Doctor sometimes can be to humans, lol. Guess being near the Master doesn't make it better.

"Oh what the everlasting…?" a voice tore into the blackness of my sleeping mind, my body, however, too heavy to respond. Only the voice, very close to my ear kept on talking through the dark. "What the hell do you think you're doing there, ape?"

"Morning, sunshine!" the Doctor's voice greeted from behind me, sounding highly amused. "I told her not to, but guess she was too sleepy and probably about 96.3727% unconscious, so... Well, anyway. The closer, the faster the transfer."

"Doesn't need to be _that_ close," the Master grumbled and pushed against my shoulder, rolling me onto my back and away from him.

My mind struggled to comprehend the situation, blackness still engulfing my thoughts, my bones and muscles were too heavy to move. Slowly it dawned on me. Where I was. And with whom. And especially in what position! Still, I kept silent, stayed in the darkness behind my closed eyelids. Just a little longer. I'd have to deal with reality too soon. And the small, somewhat awake part of my brain was curious what they would talk about.

"By the way," the Doctor drawled, "it will take another ten minutes, roughly, until the transfer is complete."

The Master groaned. "Don't I know? I literally feel it, moron."

There was the sound of a chair that got dragged closer, rustling of cloth and then the Doctor again, his voice soft, this time. "What were you even thinking? That was unnecessary."

Next to me I felt the vibrations of the Master's silent laughs. Only after a pause did he give an answer. "Look at you, _Doctor_." The name sounded weirdly spiteful. "Scolding me for saving a life. Oh, the irony."

"You know what I m-"

"Maybe I wanted a pet."

The Doctor sighed annoyed. "Humans aren't-"

"Tell that someone who believes it. I'm tired of that phrase."

A pause stretched for almost a minute, only interrupted by the noises of alien machines.

"Maybe, for once I felt the unexplainable urge to do something... _kind_." The last word carried a weird undertone, making me remember the last utterance from him I could remember before... dying?

_Bugger!_

"You really think I'd buy into that?" the Doctor asked calmly. "Don't get me wrong, Master, I'd love to. Really."

"Told you already. Pet."

The Doctor sighed again. "Alright... let's just assume that's the reason. Why that one? There are... billions on earth alone, not to mention future and history. And those wouldn't have required... weeell... such drastic actions."

The Master shrugged, I could feel the motion. "Felt like it. Boredom. Wanted to try something new."

"Master..."

"Oh come on," the other Time Lord spat, "when have I ever agreed to be honest to you? Wouldn't that be absurd?"

"You could try. We don't have to fight all the time."

"Yeeeeah..." the Master drawled, "become friends with your dungeon-keeper. Thought of that already. Might get me free in the end, what do you think?"

"Oi! I'm not your... ugh..."

The Master snickered, clearly enjoying himself. My urge to just move got stronger. It's so hard not to twitch a muscle when you're awake, but I really didn't want to miss any of this conversation, way too curious to learn more about the two.

The Doctor sighed wearily and shifted audibly. "What now?" His voice had suddenly turned soft.

"I don't know," the Master drawled lazily, "A steak would be nice. I feel a little... drained."

"Ugh... I mean, what are we supposed to do with Lucy?"

"Humans eat steak too, don't they?"

Oh god, it was so hard not to start laughing. I needed every last bit of composure not to react. And also to not let my stomach grumble. That would have been inappropriate...

"Oh, come on, Doctor," the Master sneered, "how should I know? Humans are _your_ speciality. Think of something. Nice little cage. Maybe put a pillow inside."

Again there was an exasperated groan. "We can't just _keep_ her here!" the Doctor exclaimed. "That would be abduction! And I'm not trusting you one bit not to harm her further!"

"Oi! I didn't lay a hand on her!"

A pause.

For some seconds there was utter silence stretching across the room, eventually ended by a barely audible, "Oh." It finally seemed to dawn on the Time Lord what actually had happened. "I... thought that had been your doing..."

The Master snorted. "Sure. Because that would make soooo much sense."

"Weeeell..." Another pause, longer this time. Then the Doctor spoke up again, his voice thoughtful and a little sad. "Still... we can't just drag her around. Let's bring her back home, inform her family... friends. _Someone_ will take care."

A huff came from next to me and I felt how the Master shifted slightly, leaning closer to me. "Ah, you're so wrong again, Doctor," he told, somewhat mockingly, somewhat thoughtful. "There's no one to inform. And if you're so dumb to bring her home..." He tapped a finger against my forehead. "You'd just do it again, right?"

The question was clearly addressed to me and I had no choice but to finally open my eyes, meeting a wicked grin right above me. He knew! Probably the whole time already. I blinked a few times, letting my eyes adjust to the light, scowled at his stupidly grinning face.

"Oh, you're awake!" the Doctor called out. "That's err... we were just... I mean... you probably heard some of it."

I ignored the Doctor, stubbornly keeping my frown in place and my eyes locked with the Master's, even though I couldn't see them clearly without my specs. It wasn't necessary.

"Oh, what a dark look." He pursed his lips in a mock pout. "I saved your life, that should owe me at least a big _thank you, my Lord and Master_. I'll collect the rest of my payment another day."

"I hate you," was all I grumbled.

"Uh, uh, uh. That's not what you tell your saviour." He snickered to himself, turned away and swung his leg from the bed. "Okay, energy transfer done. Human alive. Payment... later." The Master stood and stretched his arms out. "I so need some food now! I'm starving."

"What do you think you're doing?" the Doctor finally tossed in. "Don't just run off and-"

"And what will you do to stop me?" the other Time Lord bent down to the sitting Doctor and gave him a nasty grin. "I already am a prisoner. There's not much more you can harm me with." With a huff he straightened, mockingly waved in my direction and left the room.

Careful not to move too fast I sat up and let my feet dangle from the edge. There still was a thin tube on a needle attached to the back of my hand. I wore the same clothes as before, Jeans and a tugged in plaid shirt. Both stained with now brown spots.

The Doctor sighed exasperated, before he glanced me up and down. "You humans are really dumb sometimes," he mumbled.

"Oh, thanks. And there I thought you were the good one."

He raised a brow at me, not much of the friendly attitude he had the last times was visible on his face. The look he gave me wore a weird kind of almost rage and... disappointment? It could have been something else, but my blurred sight didn't allow for details.

Abruptly he rose to his feet, staring down at me. "Everyone should value their life," he stated almost pleadingly, but still somewhat angry at the same time. "It's a gift. There's so much to offer the world, to experience... that's nothing to just throw away!"

I frowned up at him, having a sudden urge to just punch his face. Not that I am a violent person, but in this very moment the thought was extremely tempting.

"And who are you to judge me like that?" I growled.

"I am the one who made it even possible for you to be born!" he stated. "Probably. Maybe. I mean... _somewhere_ in your timeline, surely. Anyway, let's forget about that." It seemed as if his mind drifted off for a moment, but then returned with full exasperated force. "I've seen enough of you lot throwing away their lives. And it's always for such stupid reasons. Temporary reasons, mind you. Lost a job? A loved one? Your crush turned you down? I tell you... a permanent solution for a temporary problem. It's _dumb_!"

For a moment I was speechless, then I sighed deeply and shook my head. "Wow," I mumbled, "you're a dick."

"Wha-haaaat?!"

I had enough. Of everything. Literally. I shot up from the bed, ripped the needle out of my hand... and cursed nastily, because it hurt a lot more than anticipated.

"Ah crap! That doesn't look so painful in movies!" I threw it away anyway and stepped in front of the Time Lord, glaring hatefully up at him. "How dare you even?" I snarled, surprised I was able to sound so angry. "You have no idea about who I am and about my life and yet you assume to know everything!"

"Weeell..." he started, not budging, "It's always the same with your species. You live so short, you never think further than maybe a week ahead."

I let out a humourless laugh. "That's really what you think about us?"

"I've experienced it!"

"Well, duh! Then look again."

"Yeah, alright. Not all are like that." He smiled almost apologetically. "I know, I know. There are many with great minds, kind people, great thinkers."

I shook my head and sighed. Why did I even expect an alien with a who knew how long lifespan to understand? "For us even short moments matter," I still explained, my voice softening, more from exhaustion than anything else. "You're still wrong. I lost nothing. No one." With a sharp look I cut off his next words. "There was no such thing to begin with. You have no idea!" Suddenly there was new rage bubbling through my tiredness, tears prickled the corners of my eyes. I hated my voice for trembling. "You don't know how that is! How it feels to be hated by everyone just because you are a tiny little bit different! How it feels when you can't belong anywhere, when no one is ever waiting for you!" It hurt. Each and every of my own words hurt, letting the tears finally flow. They didn't fall by the fire, when I had breathed out my life. But now... now they had caught up. "You have no idea how it is to be all alone in the universe without a home or people to return to!"

It was as if electricity sparkled through the air, an almost palpable tension between the two of us. The Doctor was visibly shook, swallowed hard. His shoulders sunk down and what I could make out of his features softened. And then he did what I definitely had not expected. He stepped forward and just wrapped his long arms around me, hugged me tight.

For a second I was startled, but then the tension in my body melted away and I no longer fought the offered comfort, buried my face in his suit and just let the tears flow for a while, trembling and sobbing from all the accumulated pain in my heart.

"I'm sorry," the Doctor eventually mumbled. "Shouldn't have been so harsh." He rocked back and forth slightly, never letting go. "You're wrong too, though, Lucy. I know what that feels like." He sighed and in that moment I had the feeling he was seeking solace as much as I did. "I know it all too well."


	18. Part III (V)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer - I have no medical knowledge! No idea if this is realistic at all... but let's just pretend... uh... alien tech! That's it. That'll do... *hides*

"Feeling better?" the Doctor eventually asked as my sobs faded.

"Mhmm..." I indistinctly made into his shirt and pulled away a bit.

Even though it was weird to be held by a complete stranger, it was still a form of comfort I hadn't experienced in... years, over a decade? I couldn't remember. _He_ had held me. There, in the night, by the fire and the sea. Had only held me, letting me... No, in the end he hadn't accepted my wish. Had he simply changed his mind in the last moment? Or had it been a calculated action?

"Good, good." The Doctor beamed. "Well, crying is supposed to help, but still..."

"Don't... tell him," I mumbled, suddenly feeling embarrassed about my outburst.

"Whom? The Master? Ahhhh, don't worry about him. Actually, do worry about him. I have no idea what he's planning again. Better stay out of his way."

"Does that mean... you won't send me away?" _Now look at that. I'm still able to feel hope._ I sighed and wiped the remaining tears from my face. "Gosh, I really must seem so silly to you."

For once he was at a loss for words, probably struggling to find something to say that wasn't another well-intended insult. He gave up eventually and instead asked, "There's really no one I can bring you to?"

His words sent a nasty stinging through my heart, letting new tears well up. They reminded me of the past year (hell, my whole life actually), of how no one ever cared to ask about my whereabouts. And when I had been the one to reach out, there was only fake interest, if any answer at all. I shook my head.

"Sure... I don't think my big sister or my aunt would say no... but they'd only try to get rid of me... again. As fast as possible." Memories resurfaced of how I used to spend so much time with them, seeing their smiling faces, hearing their invitations, and still being nothing but an intruder into their lives. People let you know when you don't belong. And when they don't want you to. They had built up their own lives, and made it very evident that I wasn't invited. "Guess that would be even worse than being alone," I muttered and glanced away.

The Doctor looked down at me, rubbing his neck in thought. He then sighed and reached into his suit pocket to hand me something. "Well... I'd normally say it's too dangerous for you here, but..."

I took what he held out to me and found it to be my glasses. It was nice to see properly again, made me realize just how clueless the Doctor was looking right now. "I'd rather stay somewhere dangerous than... everything before, really."

"We'll see about that." The Doctor smiled and nodded to the door. "But first let's get you some fresh clothes."

I glanced down at me, the blood stained clothes, the bandages on my wrists. I even still wore my shoes. "A shower would be nice, too," I mumbled, sliding my thumb over one of the bandages.

"Oh, you can take those off. Should be healed enough already. But I'm afraid there will be some scars left behind."

"Healed?" I unwrapped the cloth carefully under the Doctor's watchful eyes. There still was a wound, but it looked as if it were weeks old. "How... long have I slept?" I muttered dumbfounded, my eyes glued to the sight.

"Just half an earthen day or so. I've got healing equipment from so many places, can't even remember where that salve came from I put on there... eh... anyway. Shower's a fine idea. We'll get the TARDIS to make you a nice little space for yourself afterwards. What do you think?"

I looked back up, right in time to see him beam from ear to ear. All I could muster was a week reflection of the smile, but I nodded.

While we trod through the corridors I wondered how it could be that I didn't feel excited. The first times I had been here, there would have been no better thing in the world (universe) to happen than to stay here. Now... it felt off, unreal. Was it really better to stay here than to go back home? Would I be treated as more than a mere, unwanted, intruder? Only accepted because they feared I'd harm myself again?

The way was short and soon the Doctor showed me a spacious bathroom with lots of fluffy towels.

"The wardrobe over there will have some clothes. Won't they?" he asked and stroked the door frame. A slight hum returned as an answer, making the Time Lord smile. He looked back at me and gestured inside the room. "Err... do you need help with that?"

I startled and scrunched up my nose, protesting, "Noooo, certainly not."

"Oi! You're still a little weak and might pass out. Or who knows what." He held up his hands in defence. "I know what humans look like. It's no big deal for me, really."

"Pfff... but it might be for _me_." I frowned at him and poked out my tongue. "Just wait outside. If anything happens I'll call you."

"Alright, then. Will do. Will stand here as a guard and not move a toe!" he promised with a bright smile.

Despite his claims I couldn't shake the feeling that he had no clue at all about humans and their customs. This would be fun. Not that I minded people seeing me naked, nothing to hide, really, but something about the Doctor just seemed a little too intrusive for me, especially right now.

He was right, though. I did feel slightly shaky and opted to take a shower instead of a bath. I'm not the bathing type anyway, and letting the Doctor wait for longer than necessary seemed mean.

Uncertain what to do with my old clothes, I simply folded and placed them on the toilet lid, only now realizing that they smelled of sand and blood, of smoke and... also wore a hint of _his_ scent.

I scowled at the clothes and grudgingly stepped into the shower. There would be plenty of time to smack him in the face. For now I just wanted to... I didn't even know what, but the warm water felt soothing on my cold skin, made me sigh content. It felt relieving to wash of the past, to carefully glide the soft sponge over the cuts. It hurt a little, but not nearly as much as when they had been fresh.

"You're alright in there?" came the Doctor's voice after some time.

"Yeah!" I called back, realizing I must have stood there for like ten minutes or so. "I'm fine."

With a sigh I switched the water off and wrapped myself in one of the fluffy towels, taking a closer look at the wardrobe. Everything I took out to observe had my size, so I assumed the TARDIS had just produced those somehow. I picked some underwear, dark blue jeans and a red polo shirt. Maybe some colour would do me good, I decided.

"A zipper or so would have been nice," I mumbled, looking down at my bare arms. Part of me wanted to cover the cuts, and another was simply a little cold.

Right as I wanted to close the wardrobe I saw a single, lonely zipper lying on top of the other clothes. Black in colour, but the hood was inlayed with red plaid. "That wasn't here before. Did you just put it there?"

The TARDIS gave a short hum, confirming my suspicion. Somehow it made me smile, wondering what I had stumbled into. This was like actual magic to me, even though it probably could be explained by some science humans would not even begin to understand. Let alone the fact that I was inside a seemingly conscious and living space ship.

Less fascinating was my own reflection in the mirror. It looked as pale as a ghost, and incredibly tired. Dead. Yeah, I actually looked exactly as I felt.

Outside the Doctor greeted me with an impatient smile. He was fidgeting around with his weird, blue glowing wand thing, that he put away as the door opened. "Ah, see? You look a lot better already. Let's get some food into you."

I nodded and wordlessly followed. A weirdly disappointed feeling went through my guts when I found the kitchen to be empty. Somehow I had awaited to find the Master in here. Instead I enjoyed a small meal in almost silence. The Doctor didn't speak much, only commented on what food would be best to get me back on track.

"You basically need every last bit of nutrition you can get, see?"

"Why? I didn't sleep for long."

"Well, yes, but you lost so much blood we had to fill you up again somehow. Life force alone isn't really enough to keep a body alive, you know."

"You gave me a blood transfusion?" I wondered from whom it might have come.

"No. Not quite. It was a simple sodium chloride solution. Nothing fancy. I think they even use it on earth."

I blinked and looked down at my hands, the pale skin. "Wait. Does that mean I have no actual blood in my veins, right now?"

The Doctor chuckled and grinned. "Well, your body probably already produced some new, but yeah, you're mostly running on the substitute. Probably... eighty percent or so. That's why you should eat properly, give your system enough energy and nutrients to work with."

"Hm, yeah." I huffed. "Well, I always tell everyone, my heart belongs to the sea. Why not having salt water run through my veins, then, hey?"

The whole time I ate, my eyes kept darting towards the door, awaiting it to open at any time. Nothing happened, however, and so I listlessly munched on the ham-egg sandwich, not tasting much of it. Having something in my stomach still made me feel a little better and a lot less shaky than before. I would have murdered someone for coffee instead of juice in that moment, but the Doctor refused to let me have some.

"Okay, what now?" I wanted to know when I had finished. "What's it you do all day?"

The question made a bright smile appear on the Doctor's face. "Travelling!" he announced happily. "Well... not as much since the Master is on board. It's hard enough to keep him away from trouble without landing anywhere. And right now I have to do some maintenance on the console, so... Tell you what?" He stood and smiled warmly. "I'll show you the library, and in a few hours, when I'm done, we can have dinner on the thirty second moon of Keilopherax. What do you think?"

Perplex I blinked, finding his smile to be weirdly contagious. "That... sounds like a cool first day."


	19. Part III (VI)

For some reason I had awaited it to be the same library the Master had tried to keep me in, the last time I had been here, but then I remembered that the Doctor didn't even know about that room. The library he showed me now was a lot bigger anyway. Large enough to get lost in it, with lots of slim staircases, winding themselves upwards, pillows on the ground, small reading alcoves here and there and even a fireplace with armchairs and a small table. It currently wasn't lit.

And there were so many books!

"Whoa!" I let out, eyes wide. "Damn, that's a lot! Well... I probably can't read most of it anyway, but still..."

"Oh, don't worry about that," the Doctor told grinning. "The TARDIS' telepathic field translates every language on the fly, inside your head."

My eyes widened even more. "So that's why I could understand the aliens when we had coffee. Really every langue?"

"Usually, yes. For lesser known ones it might have a small delay, but that's rare. So, go ahead. I'll fetch you in a few hours. And if you need anything, the TARDIS will lead you. She seems to like you anyway."

"Huh, does she?"

The Doctor hummed confirming. "Peculiar thing she is. Some she hates, others she likes. Consider yourself lucky." He winked and turned around, hands in his pockets and whistling some weird melody.

Weirdly enough I felt no urge to grab one of the books. My mind was still spinning from... everything. I had been dead and then brought back to life. Someone else's life force was running through me. I still didn't exactly know what this meant. Sure, a living body was driven by electrochemical energy and all that stuff, but literal life force? I really was unsure what to make of it.

I didn't even have a clue what to make of... well... me. Obviously there were no plans for my future, since I hadn't planned for actually having one. The decision had been made without regrets. I had left everything behind, ready and even eager never to return. And now I wouldn't? In a different way than I had planned for, but still... Would the Time Lords keep me until they thought my _state_ was better and then simply drop me somewhere?

Maybe I could just hide in here. The place was big enough, so many rooms, unopened doors. And if the TARDIS really liked me, maybe she would show me a little hiding spot. I didn't want to be in this library, I realized. It was cosy and huge and, at every other point in my life, the absolute perfection for my stories-hungry mind.

"Ah, crap, what happened to me?" I sighed, scolding myself for talking aloud. Even though I had always been pretty alone I had never started that habit. Maybe it was only because I knew I was heard? "I don't know what to do with myself. Is there a section of books to help?" The question was meant more sarcastically than seriously, but still. Who could say what this place might have to offer.

As I rounded another corner of shelves there was a door appearing, right in front of my eyes. Just fading into existence. This was so strange, impossible. Somehow I felt as if I had stumbled into Hogwarts and not into a spaceship. So I pointed an imaginary wand at the door and mumbled, "Alohomora."

And the door swung open.

My arm dropped. "You've got some humour, old lady," I muttered and smiled.

There were more book shelves in the other room, as a quick peek revealed. But the overall structure and tone was different. Curiosity was always one of my weakest spots, so I didn't resist the urge and simply strode through, finding myself in another library. One that seemed familiar, though.

Slowly I sauntered along the wall and glanced around the next corner. Right, this was the hidden study the Master had found for himself. So the TARDIS knew of it, but never showed it to the Doctor? Odd, but who knew what and how a sentient spaceship was thinking.

There was a table in the middle of this section of the room, large and filled with papers, books and all sorts of mechanical and electronic parts, wires, batteries, and whatnot. Amongst the stuff was a free spot and there sat the Master, on the table, cross-legged with closed eyes and wearing ear buds. It almost seemed as if he was meditating, his features calm, hands casually resting on his knees.

I was unsure what to do and whether or not to disturb him. So I stepped back and wanted to leave, when his eyes suddenly snapped open, boring into mine so intensely that I froze in place. His look was ice cold, almost angry. He pulled out the earplugs, without letting me out of sight.

"How the heck did you get in here?" he growled.

I opened my mouth to speak, trapped in his penetrating gaze, suddenly finding myself without words. I tried again, but simply couldn't. I wasn't even able to move.

_What the heck?!_

The scowl vanished from his face as he stood up to come over and tower above me, head slightly tilted. "What's that?" he asked with a hint of curiosity in his voice. "You react to me." Ungently he grabbed my chin, searching for something on my face, in my eyes. "Sit down," he commanded.

My body reacted. Just like that. In some vague corner of awareness I still realised that I acted without my own will. A second later I sat on the floor, puzzled blinking upwards. The Master sat on his haunches in front of me, a satisfied smile curving his lips.

"Mhm... curious. _Now_ my hypnotism works on you." He chuckled with a sadistic glint in his eyes. "How did you get here? Speak."

"The TARDIS brought me," I told without hesitation. "A door appeared in the library."

His brows shot up. "Is that so?" Thoughtfully he stroked over his beard. I simply was confused as hell. This felt so weird, wrong. The Master grinned. "It seems your will is completely broken."

"That really surprising?" I shot back, frowning, somewhat surprised I could speak.

He only chuckled in response and rose to his feet again. "Stand," the Master commanded, his eyes lighting up in delight as my body obeyed against my own will. His lips spread to an almost charming smile, his voice sickeningly sweet when he spoke up. "Now shut up and get lost. I don't want you anywhere near me."

I obeyed. If due to his hypnotism or of my own volition was hard to say. His words were like a hot knife, slicing through my guts. They hurt, stung in my chest and made my eyes burn. What had I even expected? This was only some sick game, which's rules I didn't understand. It shouldn't surprise me. Not after what I had seen while being unconscious. Memories... His memories. A few of them at least.

Now that I recalled it, those images flooded back into my mind, accompanied me on the way back to the library. The Master had done horrible things, had revelled in blood and torture, had burned down entire planets only because he felt like it. Not to mention all the times he had spread chaos and destruction on earth alone.

Including that one year. One that never happened and did nonetheless. Spheres... floating spheres with long thorns and laughing, childlike voices. I groaned, swayed and steadied myself with a hand against some bookshelf.

"Don't you dare fainting, ape," a voice sneered behind me. "I'm not carrying you around again."

Perplex I glanced up and saw the Master had followed me, now standing a meter apart, hands tucked away inside his pant pockets. The images behind my eyes slowly vanished and with some deep, heavy breaths I leaned my back against the shelf, plugged down my glasses and rubbed the other hand over my face.

"Oh, don't worry," I spat back, slightly pissed, although I knew it was useless.

"Good." He smirked widely. "That would be no fun. And I didn't keep you to get bored."

I rolled my eyes. "Great. Thought you didn't want to see me."

"Speaking of which," he drawled, ignoring my words completely, "it's funny to make people do whatever I want. So..." He chuckled to himself, bending slightly down to my eye level. "Go and burn some of those books."

"No way!" I shot straight, glaring hatefully at him.

Some seconds spread between us, my contempt only growing with each. _Hell!_ He could demand of me whatever he wanted, but not the books! That was just an unbelievable crime against... well... It just is!

The Master tilted his head a little more, brows knitting together, when he realized I wasn't going to move. "Only works halfway, eh?" he commented dryly.

"What does?" I frowned in return, putting my glasses back on.

"The hypnotism, idiot." He grunted exasperated, finally making me realized that I wasn't following his order. "How useless."

"Too bad," I sneered, "You could have lived forever without having to endure my useless boring self."

The Master gave me a mock pout. "Sweet. And let a chance slip to have someone be so deeply indebted to me?"

I glared at him, a heat bubbling up in my chest I hadn't felt in so very long. It's really not easy to make me angry, truly angry, I mean. I gritted my teeth, hands balled to fists. There was a serious urge to just punch his stupidly grinning face, to kick his nuts or whatever.

Instead, I took a long, deep breath, closed my eyes for a brief second and exhaled. "No, you're not worth it," I decided aloud, still giving him a mean look. "And I owe you absolutely nothing. Not for forcing something upon me I didn't want."

His fist slammed against the shelf behind me, his other hand on my collar, grabbing the cloth to draw me upwards. My whole body tensed, breath caught in my lungs. The Master smirked toothlessly, a cruel spark in his eyes.

"At least you're still afraid of me."

Was I? It was almost impossible to take my eyes from his, no matter how much I normally despised eye-contact. Something just kept me there, fixated, frozen. It didn't _feel_ like fear. Why was he so bipolar? One moment acting almost gentle, the next snapping into this cold, distanced person. The one second I felt completely secure around him, the next I wanted nothing more but to run.

"As I see it," the Master continued, "you will have no choice but to obey me. And give me whatever it is I ask of you."

I huffed. "Only as long as your stupid hypnosis is working."

"That's not the only way I can force you, believe me." His voice dropped lower, got quieter, his look now dark. "You seem to know all too well that death is not the most threatening thing."

"Oi, leave her be, Master!" the Doctor suddenly called out from next to us. "Seriously, I can't let you out of sight for more than a second."

The Master turned his head, eyes glinting with contempt. He let go of my collar and stepped back. Why he followed the Doctor's demand was a mystery to me, however. I let out a breath and straightened my clothes.

"Maybe put that collar back on me?" the Master suggested with a sickeningly sweet smile, challenging the other Time Lord. "I miss those nice little zaps."

The Doctor grimaced and tried to hide the guilty look by turning halfway around. "You really left me no choice," he mumbled.

I cast a glance at the Master, unsure if I interpreted this right. He caught my eyes, scowling at my question look. The atmosphere got really unpleasant, so I decided to do something about it.

"Didn't you say you'd need some hours to fix your console?" I tried to distract. "You've been only away for a few minutes."

"Oh, yeah!" The Doctor's eyes lit up and he turned back to share his eagerness. "I was just tinkering about, when the TARDIS caught an interesting signal. Unusual signature. Very unusual. Got curious and landed us there. And... I thought you might wanna come along and have look?"

I glared at him, mouth dropping open. "M... me? But... I... I don't think I could be of help out there, really."

"Ahhh, don't need to be." He slightly bounced up and down. "Just look and see. Have some fun! Come on!" he encouraged, nodding his head backwards.

Just looking. Alright. I could that. I nodded, suddenly feeling a little surge of anticipation. But right as I wanted to move I already stopped and looked up at the Master. "You're coming too?"

Immediately the heavy silence from before was back, shortly after interrupted by a short cough from the Doctor. "Maybe... better not." His eyes shot towards the other Time Lord, who didn't twitch a muscle.

This hardly seemed fair, even though I had a vague clue that the Master would not make things easier, maybe would even try to flee. Still... I knew how it was to be the prisoner of another person. And my guts twisted, thinking about running around out there, while he had to stay behind.

"Oh, I'd be _delighted_ to have a look," the Master said, smiling impishly down at me. He even lay an arm around my shoulder, making me tense up instantly. "I could show my new pet around. Wouldn't that be lovely."

"I'm not your pet!" I hissed and tried to get away from him.

The Doctor's eyes bounced between the two of us and finally he sighed. "Alright. I know this can only end in a disaster... but let's just try it out."

The pleased look on the Master's face clearly showed he was going to make me regret having spoken up for him. Still, something told me I had done the right thing.


	20. Part IV - Under the black sun

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let's just pretend this episodes never happened when Rose was aboard. For the mere sake of me having fun with it. Ehehehehe  
> This might deviate from the original material (quite a lot in some ways). I just had to, It's probably my favourite two-parter in the whole series!

"Lead the way," the Doctor offered happily, waving towards the doors.

I remembered the last time and how sceptical I had been. Now I felt almost calm about the prospect of stumbling out onto an alien world. Which didn't mean I wouldn't be suspecting a monster or plainly an abyss to wait right outside. Some vague thought-cloud in my mind told me I should be weary, afraid even, but the rest of me simply wasn't able to. Even though the Doctor very much seemed like a man to simply throw someone into an unknown danger.

So I opened the door and peeked through the door slit, raising an eyebrow immediately at the sight, before I stepped out, followed by both Time Lords. The last trip with the Doctor had made me expect some weird and curious place, instead we were...

"That's a cargo room," I mumbled, slightly disappointed.

"I think we've landed inside a cupboard." The Doctor chuckled to himself, observing his ship that had squeezed itself between two containers. He eyed the Master and as my gaze followed I saw him rolling his eyes. The Doctor, however, clearly in high spirits, spun around and took the half step towards the only door. "Here we go."

Swiftly, as if it were the most normal thing in the universe, he opened the door with a metal wheel, then started to ramble about bases and kits and human design. I didn't really listen. The octagonal shaped corridor in front of us had all my attention, it and all the weird noises from around, including a computer voice that told us which doors were just opened and closed.

"Is there a storm going on, outside?" I wondered. "Sounds nasty."

"Yeah, might be," the Doctor blabbered on. "Be glad, we're inside. Although the TARDIS' shields would protect us from the worst. Should. Usually does, actually."

"Except for that one visit on Gjerlat, where the acid hail surprised you?" the Master sneered. "And there you were nagging around, just because I blew a hole in the mountain."

"I wouldn't have nagged, would you have looked, before shooting!" the other Time Lord protested. "You buried half a village under rubble!"

The Master just shrugged.

 _'Open door 17'_ , the computer voice told.

We all stepped into a small room with tables and chairs. It looked plain, simple. Nothing special or telling where we were.

"Oh, it's a sanctuary base," the Doctor concluded happily. "Deep space exploration. We've gone way out."

"What's that noise?" I wanted to know, straining my ears with closed eyes. "Are those the machines keeping the oxygen circulating? Water pipes... ventilation?"

"No, someone's drilling." He glared at the ground, hopping up and down on his heels.

"Welcome to hell," the Master spoke forebodingly.

"Oh, come on, Master! We've had worse trips already."

"You mean, forced excursions with you?" The other Time Lord snorted. "Still, you might find this here interesting. It doesn't translate."

" _What?!_ " the Doctor called out and hopped next to the Master to observe a wall that was smeared with black writing.

The top line actually read 'Welcome to hell', but the writing below was indecipherable. Just a bunch of strange symbols, that looked to me as if someone had plainly nicked them from some videogame. But who am I to judge when it comes to alien languages.

"Hey, Doctor," I chimed in, interrupting his inspection as I remembered something, "You said the TARDIS translates every language."

"Exactly. If that's not working, then it means this writing is old. Very old. _Impossibly_ old. We should find out who's in charge."

"We should find out what the heck is on this planet," the Master added, curiosity glimmering in his eyes. "If the TARDIS' knowledge is exhausted, we might have stumbled upon something _powerful_."

I tossed a glance at him, barely containing a giggle. Funny how two men could be eager to learn about the same thing, but for such completely different reasons. And I was rather certain the Master wasn't interesting in old stuff, just because to seek knowledge. Quite in opposite to the Doctor. He was still a mystery to me, but it seemed as if he found great joy in exploring the unknown.

Extremely eager indeed, seeing how quickly he wheeled open the next door to hop right through.

"For fricks sake, move, man!" the Master growled as he almost bumped into him.

"Oh! Right. Hello. Sorry. I was just saying, err, nice base," came the Doctor's voice from the other side.

I squeezed myself through the half open door and startled at the sight of dozens of humanoid alien creatures looking straight at us. They wore weird jumpsuits and had tentacles instead of noses and mouths. Their hands held a small sphere that seemed to be connected with them in some way. Suddenly their spheres glowed and all at once started to talk.

_"We must feed!"_

"Not on us!" the Master growled and shoved me right back behind him, when I tried to squeeze past.

_"We must feed! We must feed!"_

They started to repeat those words over and over again, slowly stepping closer.

"Wait, wait," the Doctor called, raising his hands, "I'm sure we can talk about this!"

"Ohhh, listen to you!" the Master sneered and grabbed the nearest chair. "You're always all words!"

As the creatures trod closer he simply whacked the furniture over the nearest head, sending the alien limply to the ground. The others stopped, still repeating their phrase though. One of them shook its globe and blinked.

"You," it said. "If you are hungry."

"Sorry?" the Doctor replied dumbfounded.

Finally I overcame my frozen state and stepped next to him, glaring at the lifeless body on the ground and the Master, who still held the chair, ready to strike again. Weirdly enough, the aliens didn't even seem to realize what he had done and simply stood there. The one from before spoke up again.

"We apologise. Electromagnetics have interfered with speech systems. Would you like some refreshment?"

"Are those machines?" I asked curiously, baffled by their indifferent behaviour.

 _'Open door 18'_ the computer voiced. And in stepped a bunch of people, who seemed as dumbfounded as we were.

A dark haired woman stepped towards the knocked out alien, while an older guy rushed towards us, casting a quick glance at the Master, before he halted right in front of the Doctor and pressed a button on a device on his wrist. Obviously a communicator.

"Captain, you're not going to believe this," he spoke, eyes wide in wonderment. "We've got people. Out of nowhere. I mean, _real people_. I mean three _living_ people, just standing here right in front of me."

A male voice from the communicator answered, "Don't be stupid, that's impossible."

"I suggest telling them that," the older guy responded and lowered his hand.

"Jefferson," the dark haired woman interrupted. "That Ood here is dead."

The other creatures didn't even wince at the news, nor did they move or speak again. The older guy, Jefferson, didn't seem impressed by that and hurled around to the Master. "Why the heck did you do that? Put that chair away!"

The Time Lord gave the man a dark look, but sat the furniture to the ground. "You stupid pets attacked us," he growled, "It's every person's right to defend themselves."

"Yeah, but it's just an Ood!" Jefferson exclaimed.

"It could be a Florks and I still wouldn't care," the Master grumbled.

"Wait. You don't know what an Ood is?" the man exclaimed. "And how did you get here anyway? Do you even know where you are? "

"Nope, no idea," the Doctor replied and grinned. "More fun that way."

All talk was interrupted by the whole base suddenly shaking. An earthquake? Through the speakers of the room a female voice told something about point five. In an instant the old man ran to the doors, followed by his comrades. Only the Ood didn't move at all, as if they didn't even notice what was going on.

They seemed as baffled as I was, my body automatically going into freeze mode again. And then there was a hand slipping into mine and tugging at it, forcing me to stumble forwards."Move, stupid!" the Master snarled.

I did. What else was there to do? I didn't want to stay behind, not alone and also not with those aliens. Whatever they might be. We ran through another one of those narrow corridors, everything around us shaking. Through the next door we entered another room, bigger than the last one and with a large console in its middle. A bunch of people stood around it, each of them glaring at us as if we were ghosts.

Jefferson closed the door while the shaking ceased.

"People, look at that! Real people," a young woman remarked.

"Yeah, that's us, hooray!" the Doctor chimed, hands buried in his pant pockets.

Somehow I fought the urge to hide, uncomfortable with the sudden attention. Social anxiety is a wild and persistent beast. And while I had tamed it to a huge degree, it still tore at its chains from time to time. Especially in such sudden situations like these. My pulse quickened and I felt a little shaky. The other hand vanished from mine, leaving me suddenly bare and without a hold.

"The Doctor, nice to meet you," the Time Lord introduced. "This is the Master, don't ask. And the little one is Lucy."

I startled at hearing my name, my pulsing shooting up even higher as everyone stared at me for a moment. Somehow I managed to smile. The same fake smile I had studied in so well people couldn't tell it apart from a real one.

They all spoke at once, one guy stepping closer, babbling something about hallucinations. Another man with dreadlocks scolded him.

"Whoever you are," he continued, "just hold on... tight."

"Alright!" The Doctor beamed all over his face as if this were the greatest adventure of his lifetime. "What's happening there, mind me asking?"

"Impact in 3... 2... 1..." the dark skinned man instead told.

I had no time to find a good halt, wanted to grab the door wheel, but already the quake shook us wildly. Someone caught me, wrapped one arm around my torso and pulled me back.

Two times the ground shook beneath our feet, the second time a lot longer and more violent than the first. Fires started to burst out of some machines, electric sparks flew through the room, all while an ear piercing alarm shrilled through the air.

Eventually, though, it stopped and people rushed about to extinguish the fires, voices called out, telling they were okay. I took a deep breath and tried to straightened up, then realized the arm that still held me and glanced up to see it belonged to the Master.

The whole situation was way too sudden for my taste. I had no idea how to react and my mind had no time to adjust. Still, my body stopped shaking, my pulse calmed. But then I remembered how the Master had treated me, after I had woken up, how he had pushed me away as if I were something disgusting.

"Let go," I demanded, brows narrowing.

He cast a look down so dark as if it were _my_ fault that _he_ held me. His arm vanished and he left me standing there, moving around the console to inspect everything.

"What's this planet called, anyway?" the Doctor asked, meanwhile.

"Now, don't be stupid," one of the women scolded with raised brows. "It hasn't got a name. How could it have a name?" She paused and looked at our clueless faces. "You really don't know, do you?"

I shook my head and the Doctor went "Nope!", popping the 'p'.

The Master scowled at the holographic display. As I stepped next to him I saw a bunch of red blinking things on it.

"Hey, I'm Zach by the way, acting Captain," he introduced himself with a short smile, his attention however not really with us. "Damn... The surface caved in. Alright... I deflected it onto storage five through eight. We've lost them completely." He looked up and searched the room. "Toby, go and check the rocket link."

"That's not my department," a skinny, blond man grumbled.

"Just do as I say, yeah?"

"Five to eight... wasn't that..." the Master mumbled into his beard, his look getting darker by the second. "Hey, human," he addressed the Captain and pointed at the screen. "Wasn't that near habitation area six?"

The man raised an eyebrow, but nodded. "Yeah... that was among it. Why."

"What?!" the Doctor called out, having overheard it all. "No, no, no, no! That can't be! Storages, right? Bit of a cupboard in size?"

His face grew paler by the second and he was about to run straight outside, but got grabbed by the arm by one of the armed guys. "Hey! No running around our base until we at least know who-"

"But my ship was in there! My TARDIS! It's all we've got. Literally!"

The older of the two women trod towards him and lay a hand on his arm. "Is that how you came here? What sort of ship was that?"

"Yes... yes. Hard to explain. It just sort of... appears." It seemed as if he was close to tears by now. "It can't be gone. We have to get it back somehow. You've got robot drills heading the same way..."

"We can't divert the drilling," Zach said firmly. "We've only got the resources to drill one central shaft down to the power source, and that's it. No diversions, no distractions, no exceptions. Your machine is lost. All I can do is offer you a lift if we ever get to leave this place, and that is the end of it."

It was obvious that he wouldn't allow for any argument. The mood palpably dropped, even the room seemed to get colder as a heavy silence lay itself upon us like a heavy blanket. Could we really be trapped here? The possibility... no, fact, refused to sink in with me. And I barely got the time to think about it all too much.

A low chuckle made us all look in one direction and it took everyone a good second to realize what we saw.

"Oh, I really think you _can_ make an exception here," the Master told, matter-of-factly and with an almost sarcastic smile as he pointed a stolen rifle at the Captain.


	21. Part IV (II)

Everyone stared at the Master and the rifle in his hands. One of the armed men turned his head in puzzlement, wondering how he had been stolen from so easily.

"Oh, good!" The Master beamed from ear to ear. "I have your attention. Finally." The smile spread to a full blown grin.

"Master, stop it!" the Doctor called out, trying to step closer. He halted immediately when the other Time Lord raised the gun a little.

"Are you telling me you want to be stranded here?" he snarled. "Without even _trying_ to get the TARDIS back? You're so pathetic."

"Not like this," the Doctor implored. "We surely can get back with more resources and get-"

"Yes, yes!" one of the women seconded. "We're drilling for an artificial power source that's below. That..." Her eyes darted to the Master and she swallowed. "I... think that should get us enough money and resources to send another mission here and retrieve your ship."

"No," the Master simply said, his voice cold, the grin dropping. His eyes locked with the Captain's. "You're going to get it back, right now."

Zach visibly tensed, but then, to everyone's surprise, he nodded. "Yes, of course. We'll relocate the drill immediately. Ida, calculate what we'll need for it to happen."

"What?" the woman from before responded dumbfounded. "Zach, we can't!"

"Yeah! What's gotten into you?" Jefferson asked. "That's not normal!"

"Stop it, Master," the Doctor implored once more. "You can't hypnotize every single one here."

"No... guess I can't." He tilted his head a little and patted the rifle. "That's why got this neat little thing. Now, Captain... obey!"

I could have warned the Master. I saw the man sneaking up on him way beforehand. And maybe it would have been the better choice, since being stuck here for who knows how long really wasn't in my own interest. But, as much as I wanted, I just couldn't get my conscience to cooperate. So I squeezed my eyes shut when the man lunged out with another rifle and smacked it over the Master's head with a truly sickeningly sound.

"Good job, Stevenson," Jefferson praised. "Now get him cuffed. And you two," He hurled around to me and the Doctor, his eyes dark from anger and suspicion. "Do we have to secure you as well?"

"No!" the Doctor hastily said defiantly. "He's just... Well... How would you react if someone stole your only home? But we'll cooperated. Nothing to gain from doing harm."

I only nodded, not in the mood to talk me into trouble.

"Alright, but I'll keep an eye on all of you."

A groan came from the ground. "You bastard," the Master ground out, lifting himself to his knees, but not further, as his hands were bound with metal.

"Quiet!" the Captain ordered, finally coming back to his senses. "First you kill one of our Ood, then you attack me. _Manipulate_ me!"

"Not going to apologize," the Master spat.

"Leave him to me," Jefferson said, "I'll find a spare room to lock him away for now. Danny, make sure he gets everything he needs."

"Heh, I will," the guy with the long, dark hair said with a smile. "Finally something to do for me, here."

"You really think you can lock me away?" the Master sneered. "Sweet."

"Oh, shut up," Jefferson retorted. "Or do we have to gag you?"

The only answer was a truly murderous glare, but the Master stayed silent, having understood he wasn't in any position right now to really get the upper hand.

Zach cast a glance at everyone, expecting anything to happen. The silence weighed heavy on the room for a good while.

One of the women spoke up. "Well, as sorry as I am for your situation, it's probably best to get to know each other, right? I'm Ida Scott, science officer." She waved to the Captain. "You know Zachary Cross Flane, acting Captain, sir. You've met Mister Jefferson, he's Head of Security." Another wave to the dark haired one, "Danny Bartock, Ethics committee."

"Yep, I'll make sure you're treated after all the current standards of human rights."

It seemed as if no one heard the snort coming from the Master, who had gotten to his feet again, but was held by two armed men.

Ida continued, "The man who just left was Toby Zed, Archaeology, and this", she smiled at the younger woman next to her, "is Scooti Manista, Trainee maintenance."

"Hi!" She wriggled her fingers towards us.

"And where exactly are we stranded?" the Doctor asked. "You're all making a great mystery out of this place, you know."

"You really have no clue. You're not joking," Ida answered baffled. "Well, then... You should probably know before settling in." She pulled a lever and the roof started to open. "Here it comes. This... is home."

"Brace yourselves." Zach told. "The sight of it sends some people mad."

Curiously I watched as the round metal plates receded, leaving nothing but glass between us and the outside. And there, in the darkness of space, blacker than anything I'd ever seen, hung a hole, surrounded by what seemed to be flames, or just tons of matter being dragged inside? Vaguely I got aware of my mouth dropping open. From all those movies and games I knew them, but none of those could have ever prepared me for this. As if an ancient giant had ripped a hole through reality itself, leaving nothing but the purest of darkness. It was as if even my gaze was swallowed by it, as if the mere sight would suck out my very soul and...

"Look away, idiot!"

The voice tore me away from the black hole and I turned to find the Master staring at me with dark eyes.

"Didn't you just listen?" he grumbled.

"B... but..." I stuttered, having to fight the urge to glance back. "I've never seen anything like it. It's so..."

To my surprise he smiled knowingly.

"That's completely impossible!" the Doctor let out.

Ida sounded sort of proud when she elaborated, "This lump of rock is suspended in perpetual geostationary orbit around that black hole without falling in."

Curiosity got the better of me and the bouts of social anxiety had finally faded enough to let my learning-eager mind take the upper hand.

"How don't we get sucked in?" I dared to ask, still a little uncomfortable when all eyes landed on me. "I...'m not sure how far away one has to be... but that looks pretty close."

"We should be dead!" the Doctor exclaimed.

"And yet here we are." Ida practically beamed at him. "Beyond the laws of physics. Welcome on board."

Something slightly shook the base again, particles and dark clouds moved over our heads and towards the blackness. It was so hard to look away.

"But why does this rock has an atmosphere? There are clouds." I felt a little stupid asking this, but I just had to. It looked so weird.

Ida didn't seem to mind, however. "There's no atmosphere. What you see there is stars breaking up. Gas clouds. We have whole solar systems being ripped apart above our heads, before falling into that thing."

I gulped, staring dumbfounded at her and fighting the urge to get lost in the hole again. "Wow," I just said, unable to clad my amazement into words. I wasn't even sure if there were any in the human language, or any language at all, that could even closely describe what I felt in that moment.

"So," Danny clapped his hands together, "Let's bring our rebel to a safe space and then we'll see if we can find anything to do for you two. Come along."

The Master was escorted by two men, one of them Jefferson. I simply followed the Doctor, trying to stay as close as possible to not get lost anywhere.

The base was interesting enough, leading partly underground, alongside rough stone walls. Never had I seen anything like it and had trouble keeping pace here and there. So many things to see, even though they probably weren't that exciting on closer inspection. And everywhere were those Ood, these strange creatures that all looked the same and just mindlessly did all sorts of work.

Danny showed us some laboratories, the drilling shaft, a few parts that were only for storage. On our way back to the control room he showed us a set of quarters.

"We've got more rooms than we have people, in case a part of the base gets lost," he explained. "Just pick one, each, the Ood will bring you everything you need."

We picked rooms that were next to one another, mostly because there was no reason at all not to. They all looked the same. Only big enough for a bed, a small wardrobe and a desk, and a small, round window that let one look outside, but still at an angle that didn't allow a view on the black hole.

The Master, however, was brought a few rooms further down the corridor. From outside one could only enter via handprint. Inside one could only leave by passing through a small corridor, maybe a meter in width, in front of the door that read one's biological signature, as Jefferson explained. Only when it was registered as valid did the door open. So, even if the prisoner would kidnap a valid person, the door would not open, as long as he was inside the corridor. Simple, but extremely effective.

Like this they also were able to free the Master of his cuffs and let him at least roam around a bit, although there wasn't much room for it. In opposite to our quarters, he had his own tiny bathroom, though. I could also spot the same furniture in here that we had. Only an additional book shelve was mounted to one of the walls, to keep a prisoner occupied. The Master trod towards that one and studied its contents as if it was the most normal thing to do. He also ignored the warning to behave and everything else that was spoken towards him.

For a brief moment I felt strange when looking at him. There was such a sense of calm at the way he carried himself, the posture with folded hands behind his back, head now slightly turned to the side to glance through the window. In this short second he simply felt... ancient.

Before I could put any proper words to the perception I was already gently pushed from the door.

"You'll treat him well, right," the Doctor enquired with slight concern in his voice. "I know he can be complicated, but..."

"Yes, of course!" Danny blurted almost indignantly. "We just have to figure out how we can get him to... you know... not attack us and play along. And I really hope you two will help with that, because it will greatly speed the process up."

I couldn't see how that would work. The Master didn't appear to me as someone who would simply accept being stranded here. And I could understand him so well. It took me every ounce of thought control not to let this fact run me over. I didn't want to be trapped, had no idea who these people were, character-wise, had no idea how long we would stay.

"Here's the cantina." Danny waved into another room. "How about you have a quick snack and I or Ida will see what tasks we can assign to you? I'll get a list of things we could need another set of hands. The Ood will serve you."

With that he left us and the Doctor nudged me in the side with a reassuring smile.

"Hungry?"

"Not really," I mumbled, sitting at one of the tables. "I just ate before we left the TARDIS, in case you forgot."

"No, haven't. Hm... all of this looks really weird." He studied the contents of the food on display. One of the Ood was standing behind with a scoop in one hand. "I'll take some of the blue stuff. I like blue."

"As you wish, Sir," the Ood answered obediently.

"And give me some of the orange for Lucy, will ya? It looks nourishing."

"I recommend the red and purple for the most nourishing effects, Sir. Those combined provide a human body with the exact dosage of the most vital vitamins and minerals."

"Alright. Let's go with those, then."

Smiling all over his face, he carried first mine, then his own tablet to our table. The stuff smelled weird, although not bad, so I forked a little into my mouth. Somehow it reminded me of mashed potatoes, only with some other undertones to it. The plate was barely touched, however, since I felt not hungry at all.

Thinking about it... including the tour through the base, it only had been a maximum of three hours or so since I had awoken in the med bay. Even less since the tiny spark of hope for a better life had sparked within me. I pushed the plate away, suddenly feeling sick to the stomach.

"I'm sorry. I really am," came the Doctor's mumbling. I looked up and met his sorrowful gaze. "That's probably not the kind of thing to..."

"Just forget it," I murmured. "Doesn't matter."

"Of course it does! I have a responsibility for you after all!"

"No, you don't." I rolled my eyes. "And if anyone at all is responsible for me being here, it's your damn prisoner." The Doctor looked so guilt stricken that I almost had the urge to take my words back. Almost. "What did he even think?!" I went on, letting my anger bubble up for a bit. "Why preserving my stupid life, when he hates all humans so much? I'm not a damn plaything!"

"No, no... you're not. He's away now. Can't do you harm. Don't worry about him."

I grunted out my exasperation and gave the Time Lord a dark scowl. "Is that all you are doing? If someone's not the way you like them, just lock them away and be done?"

"What?! No!" he protested. "Like hell, no! I've tried so many things, believe me." His eyes went wide and a little desperate. "Since the year..." The Doctor slightly shook his head and sunk together. "At first I tried my best, yes. He struggled so much to be even brought aboard the TARDIS. Then he was completely out of control, tried to demolish everything and to kill me at every opportunity."

Okay, I hadn't expected _that_. Not to this extend. But still...

"He came to terms after some time," the Doctor continued, eyeing his fidgeting fingers instead of me. "Well... had to. And I tried it. Took him to a few nice planets, some, where no life existed. Later... He seemed calm enough to try livelier places. That... only worked after a while."

"Did... he kill people?" I wanted to know, but then sighed. "Why do I even ask?"

The Doctor gave me a week smile that made me feel uncomfortable. How many had to die before the Doctor had gotten him under control? And what in the universe had he done to the Master to ensure he wouldn't do harm? He didn't seem like a person you could simply argument with. The brief mentioning of the collar came to mind and I gulped.

Why did I even feel bad for the Master? Didn't he deserve every last bit of bad treatment after what he had done to so many? But then there was this strange way in which the Doctor behaved towards him. The way he acted right now. As if it were no deal at all that the other man sat alone and in figurative chains.

Quite as if the Doctor had long since given up on the Master.


	22. Part IV (III)

"So, what are we gonna do with the two of you?" Ida thought out loud as she visited us in the canteen. "The Ood do most of the nasty tasks around, and the rest is handled by us, obviously." She sat next to me and eyed the untouched food, then gave me a smile. "You'll get used to the taste."

"'m just not hungry," I mumbled.

"No? Well, maybe you should eat anyway, you're pale as a ghost." Ida chuckled. She had no clue.

I gave her a small smile, but still didn't touch the food, only drank the cup of water that sat nearby.

"Doctor, I'll put you in the laundry. We need tall people there, the racks are quite high. And you, Lucy... mhm... not quite sure. What have you learned?"

"Uh..." I startled a little and straightened in my chair. Not this again. "N... nothing. I mean... nothing helpful."

"Well... time to change that, huh?"

Perplex I blinked at the woman in front of me, the reassuring wide smile on her face, as if my incapability was no problem at all.

"You could become a trainee, too. No problem at all. And when we get back to the colony, you have a certificate and all that. Sounds good?"

For a second I was about to ask what colony she was talking about, but then decided this could wait, and I simply nodded. Was that my chance to finally become useful to the world?

"Okay, great!" Ida smiled even wider. "What are you good at?"

 _Shit_... maybe not my chance at all, then. "Oof, I don't know," I confessed. "I'm really not good with people... that rules out almost every..."

"I asked what you're _good_ at." The blond chuckled amused. "Come on. Don't be shy. Everyone has some talents."

But what where mine? I cast a puzzled glance in the Doctor's direction, but he only shrugged and smiled. "I can't answer that for you."

"Guess... I'm good with my hands." I glanced at them, once more stunned at how pale my skin was right now. "I used to help my Dad repair all kinds of stuff. Small stuff likes watches and our household items. And..." A reassuring nod from Ida made me continue, although I wasn't sure this was even important, but I wanted to mention it anyway. "I'm really good at detecting patterns. In general, I mean. Probably not helpful..."

"Oh, of course it is! That can help quite a lot with finding errors in the systems." She contemplated for a few moments. "I'll bring you to Danny. He has not much to do here, and before his job as ethic committee, he was an electronic engineer. I bet he'll be happy to show you the basics. Guess we can schedule some maths and physics lessons in, every few days... hm... Well, yeah, let's start with that, okay? Sounds good?"

"It does!" A weird spark of excitement went through me all of a sudden. "When do we start?"

Ida laughed at that. "Not today. It's late already."

"Ah, you set up an artificial clock to keep your biorhythms intact," the Doctor concluded. "Well, must have. There's no real days around." He stood up and waved at us. "Alright then, see you tomorrow!"

With that he left the two of us alone. Well, almost alone. As he exited, Danny came in, tossing a quick hello at us. In an instant I felt my chest tighten slightly. Being among strangers was stressing enough, being all alone with two at once, though, spiked my anxiety quite a bit. Luckily only for a moment. It had gotten easier to calm myself down over the past years.

"Hey Danny," Ida called out and stood too. "Lucy will train with you from tomorrow on."

"Me? A trainee? Are you sure?" he asked as he got himself food.

"Absolutely. Teach her everything you know about electronics, yeah? Might come in handy to have another set of hands for that sort of stuff around." She strode to the door and gave us a last smile. "Good night, then."

"Night, Ida."

"Good night," I mumbled, uncertain what to do now. Should I leave, too? Would I even find my way back to the quarters?

"Oh, hey," Danny interrupted my thoughts. "Before you go, could you... mhmm..." He seemed a little uncomfortable. "Well, this Master guy. He gives me the creeps. And I'm supposed to bring him the evening ration, so..."

"Uh, I could bring it," I offered, almost certain it was what the other man would have requested anyway.

His features relaxed, then he called out to the Ood in the kitchen, "Hey, ready some food for our prisoner. There should be a box somewhere around."

"As you wish, Sir," the creature answered and strode away.

"What are those anyway?" I wanted to know. "Those Ood, I mean. Are they androids? They seem so cold."

"Wow, you lot must really come from who knows where. No, they are a slave race."

"Slaves?" I raised an eyebrow. "So they are alive, huh..."

"It sounds worse than it is. They live for this, it's their way of finding joy in life. Serving others... We don't force them to anything, treat them well." He shrugged and forked some food into his mouth. "Quite handy. Almost everyone back home has one."

The Ood brought a small plastic box with food and sat it on the table, before returning to his place.

"There," Danny pointed his fork at a button. "It's self heating. But should stay warm for the short way. And..." He got out a small device that looked like a tablet and typed something in, then let it hover over me for a second. "Now the security gate lets you in."

I nodded and picked up the box, then left for the door, but turned back again. "Uhm... do you get me, tomorrow, or shall I come somewhere? I... don't think I have an alarm clock, or..."

"Oh, don't worry. The station wakes us automatically. And sure, I'll get you. Half an hour after waking time." He gave me a thumbs up and grinned. "Right! Almost forgot. If you ever get lost, the cables in the base are colour-coded. And they have small arrows on them. Blue goes to the quarters, yellow to the canteen and red to the control room. Those are the three important ones, anyway."

My eyes lit up at that information. Finally something that was designed for people without a sense for orientation!

"Then see you tomorrow." I smiled and carried the box away.

Outside I looked out for the cables and found them quickly, following the blue ones. This wasn't so bad, in the end. Being stranded here might have given me some chances the world at home had never granted me.

Home... earth... My steps slowed slightly as I pondered about it. Since when were we able to fly out so far? How had we developed the technique to built bases and live on them? When had we discovered the Ood? And what about the aforementioned colonies? Was all of this some kind of secret government stuff, where they sent people to train and live, far from earth, leaving the rest of us believing we hadn't even left our own solar system, yet?

I stopped in front of the Master's cell and looked for any kind of door handle. There was none, but I found a small scanner-like apparatus on the side and held my hand over it. That seemed to do the trick. The door opened to let me in.

"It's me," I greeted and passed the gate. "And I've brought some rather disgusting looking food."

There was no response and for a moment I thought he might be in the bathroom , but then, to my surprise, I found the Master sitting on the floor, between the bed and the table. His knees were bent and drawn up to his chest, both arms draped over his head as if it was hurting.

"You're alright?" I carefully asked and placed the food box on the table. "Shall I ask them for painkillers?"

His fingers twitched lightly, but there was no verbal answer. Did he even recognize that I was there? Maybe he was asleep. The position sure looked uncomfortable, but who knew how his species preferred their downtime, after all.

Some instinct, however, told me, that he was awake and so I dropped to my haunches and touched his shoulder. "Master?"

"Piss off," he grumbled, without budging. His voice sounded weirdly strained. Something clearly wasn't right with him.

"Hey, listen," I tried, "just because you messed up a little doesn't mean you have to be in pain."

Finally his head raised and my eyes met his. The sight made me startle, made me hold my breath for a moment. He held me captive with his stare, within those hazel depths I fell, torn out of my own existence and into a swathing mass of... madness.

"It's too quiet in here," he whispered, pupils wide and dark. "The hole. It doesn't swallow them. Why can't it just eat them like everything else?"

"I... don't know." What was he talking about?

"Can't you hear them?" he asked, leaning his head back against the wall, eyes staring into nothingness, as is there was something... something he searched for.

I closed my eyes and listened. "There is humming," I quietly told. "From the machines. And I hear the drill."

"No! No, no, no, no!" the Master called out and drove his fingers into his hair, clutching at his head as if he suffered immense pain. "It's the drumming! This never ending, constant... it's always there, in the silence. Never... it's never quiet!"

I remembered. The day in the TARDIS kitchen, when he had suddenly and seemingly lost his mind, when he had tapped this rhythm over and over again.

Tap – tap – tap – tap.

"Like... a heartbeat?" I asked and his head snapped up, his gaze almost fearful, longing, desperate even. "I... I'm not sure it's what you mean, but... when I was unconscious... I heard a beat, like drums, I guess. Four beats, always the same. Like..."

The Master scowled, let out a frustrated growl, bent over... sobbed? No, it was more a muffled cry. It hurt to see him like that, no matter what an arsehole he was. I reached out to touch his arm, to somehow comfort him, even though I had no idea how. He slapped my hand away, shot forward and grabbed me by the collar, suddenly was on his knees, dragged me against him.

"Listen," he demanded and pointed at his chest. "Is that what you heard?"

"Wha'?"

I wasn't sure what he meant? Was I supposed to listen to his heartbeat? The look in his dark eyes made me gulp and so I obeyed, plugged down my glasses and placed an ear against his chest. A weird thing to do, and somehow also not. He didn't move, waited.

And there it was.

Du – du – du – du!

Du – du – du – du!

Du – du – du – du!

Four beats, repeating in an endless rhythm, soothing, in a weird and incomprehensible way.

"Do... you have two hearts?" I wondered, although the sound made it quite obvious. He nodded and I blinked perplex. "Huh, okay, then that must be what I heard."

"Thought so," he mumbled in a disappointed tone and sunk together in front of me like a deflated balloon, hands reaching up again to claw their way back to his head.

Helplessly I looked at his sunken form, wanting nothing more but to help. At the same time I had the suspicion that he wouldn't let me, too stubborn and maybe even to afraid to let anyone near him. It reminded me so horribly of myself, of how no one was able to understand how I experience the world, because it is too different from what they know as real. So I had given up, had stopped reaching out and just buried all of it within the depths of my own self.

 _I'm not like them_ , I thought to myself. Maybe I would never be able to function like a normal human being, but maybe that also enabled me to see and understand what others couldn't. And the Master was no human.

A little hesitantly I reached out and carefully placed my hands above his, let my head sink.

"I'm willing to listen."


	23. Part IV (IV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Fluff! xD 😂  
> Also, it seems like I'm in some writing frenzy, right now... so here you have a new chapter, earlier than usual. Have fun! °v°

Slowly the Master raised his head, glared at me with a mix of disbelieve and almost hatred. He swiped my hands away from him, grabbed my wrists and shot to his feet, dragging me right along. The back of my head hit stone as I thudded against the wall, black dots sparking in front of my lids. The Master pushed himself against me. I was trapped, unable to move, dizzy and confused.

"I will break your silly mind, lil’ lumin." The Master snickered, wrapped his fingers around my head, thumbs sliding under the stems of my glasses to rest on the temples. The pressure was light enough not to hurt, but so firm that it was uncomfortable.

My unspoken protest drowned in a sudden and ever growing pressure within my head, as if something was there with me that didn't belong. I gasped at the sensation, instinctively tried to struggle, but the Master held me in place. The sensation filled out my head, it hurt, spread within every fibre of my consciousness. Somehow I let out a whimper, gritted my teeth and fisted both hands into his shirt. Ragged breaths escaped my burning lungs. My heart hammered in its cage like a panicking animal.

Then it stopped.

No, it wasn't gone, I realized; only dampened to a manageable level, an unpleasant tingling on the crown of my head. It felt as if something crept through my mind, like... an energy of sorts. As if... as if...

"Hm..." made the Master. "That probably hurt, didn't it?" He chuckled lightly. "Needs getting used to, to navigate a human mind."

"Wha'... re y... doin'?" I brought out, barely able to speak.

"Don't you feel it? I'm right here."

The sensation in my head got stronger again, but this time not hurtful. I managed to concentrate on it, to feel... him? I grasped the edge of a thought, the tingling of an emotion that wasn't mine. He was inside my mind... literally.

"How... d'you do tha'?"

Shaky breaths escaped my lips, no, my whole body was trembling. There was no pain anymore, but it was so foreign, so weird. It exhausted me on a level I couldn't even comprehend and still...

"There. Listen!" the Master demanded, pressing his thumbs harder against my head.

Alright. If that was what he wanted... I tried. I listened deep inside of me, focused on the sensation of his presence within my own. Something was there, tugging at me, begging to be let in. I groaned in exhaustion, unable to grasp what was happening to me.

"I... c... can't," I mumbled, surprised I was still able to speak. "I hear nothing."

Utter silence filled the room for mere seconds. The Master let out a breath, more a noiseless sigh that told of and exhaustion far deeper than I experienced. One he must be carrying around for who knows how many years or decades... centuries even. His presence stayed with me, his forehead dropped against mine. Raw emotions flooded me, frustration, anger, and a deep, oh so deep sadness.

"I'm sorry," I muttered, meaning it and hoping he might sense that. "I tried. I really did."

He pinched his eyes shut, clenched his teeth as if in pain. It felt as if he was close to tears. His hands slid from my temples and to my cheeks, thumbs stroking lightly over them. Our eyes met and I saw a raw, almost animalistic desperation. Or did I imagine it?

The same moment I realised he had left my mind, my head started to feel too light, heart-rate speeding up, my skin suddenly clammy and sweaty. It was impossible to stand upright, the world around spinning too fast, making me sick.

The Master caught me before I could collapse, carried my shaking self to the bed and carefully dropped me there.

"You're still week," he said tonelessly. "No wonder. You were dead just some hours ago."

Shaking and freezing as I was I curled myself to a ball on my side, trembling. The Master had long slipped out of my mind, but something had still changed, was still lingering. As if he had awakened something deep within me, something that always had been there, but dormant.

I observed the Master while my body calmed down. He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. The black dots in front of my eyes started to fade a little, the lying position making it easier for my circulation not to collapse completely. He looked as tired as I felt.

"What was that?" I wanted to know and his eyes met mine again, cold, but not wearing the same cruelness in them as before.

"Time Lords have psychic abilities," he explained calmly and sat next to me on the bed. If it was to get comfortable or because he wouldn't have to look at me in that position I couldn't tell. "We can see in each others' minds, we can even communicate like that. Even from afar... if the connection between two individuals is either strong enough by nature or strengthened artificially."

"Felt more like you were physically rummaging around in there," I grudgingly grumbled.

The Master chuckled and turned his head to look down at me, a sarcastic smirk playing on his lips. "Well, humans have not yet discovered that ability. You have some capacity for it. Not as strongly as we do, but..." He shrugged and chuckled. "Your own fault if it hurt."

"Pffff, bugger." Exhaling and curling myself together some more I managed to stay conscious. The weak moment had passed. "Damn, that's tiresome."

"I didn't tone it down." A mean snickering came from his direction. "Was curious if your head would burst."

"Liar," I mumbled. "You wanted it to be strong, so I can hear your drums."

At that he was silent, and although I had my eyes closed, I knew he was glaring hatefully at me. It couldn't have bothered me less. It was still cold and my body acted up, no matter how much I pretended to be a ball.

Some rustling came from nearby and suddenly there was something on me, over me. A blanket, I realised after a confused moment, and opened my eyes to blink perplex at the Master.

"Stay," he offered with a surprisingly warm smile. "You're in no shape to move around."

No, I really wasn't. "But, what's with you?"

The Master raised a brow, one corner of his lips twitching upwards. "Time Lords don't need much sleep."

"Might be," I mumbled into the blanket. "But you look like you could fall asleep on the spot."

He really did, no matter how much he tried to hide it.

"You think giving up a part of your life force isn't draining?"

"Dunno." I huffed. "Never done that. Still, proves my point." Somehow I managed to pick myself from the mattress and shoved the cuddly blanket away. "My room isn't far from here, I can..."

"It's much quieter."

"Whus?"

Those words were confusing, seemingly so out of context. It got cold again, now that the blanket was gone, but I couldn't just stay, could I? Right now, no one expected me to be here, no one would be there to help if things truly escalated. (Well, they already had, considering how he had messed up my head.)

Speaking of which, it promptly got dizzy again, just by sitting up. A small groan escaped me as I swayed and involuntarily dropped against the Master. He promptly shoved me away, however not forcefully. Instead he only pushed against my shoulder, forced me to lay back down and even stole my glasses with a chuckle when I tried to prevent him from doing so.

He practically pinned me down, both of his hands around my wrists and a determined, albeit wicket grin on his face. "You're not in charge here," he claimed sweetly.

"What do you _want_?!" I almost shouted and scowled at him. "Besides, you are _aware_ how this looks, right?"

"Right... It scares you when people get too close." He deliberately bent over me, smiling even wider. "You're still afraid I could lay hands on you."

I tensed at the words, squirmed uncomfortably in his grip, but the Master only chuckled and even let go of me.

"I'm not human," he spoke, his voice forebodingly low. "And if I ever experience any desire to harm you, I'll satisfy it without dirtying myself."

Suddenly he sighed and seemingly swayed. Maybe he was a lot more exhausted than he was willing to admit. The Master turned away, but only to lay down himself next to me. In the same motion he draped the blanket back over my shoulders, leaving himself bare, however.

"There, see?" he sarcastically stated, "Enough space for yourself."

"Why not just letting me go?" I mumbled, pursing my lips.

He lay there, one arm under his head, facing me, his look thoughtful. "It's quieter around you," he finally admitted. "Barely noticed it, at first, but now..."

"You mean the drumming?"

"Mhm."

"What is it? Is it always there?"

"I'll tell you another day," he muttered, no longer hiding his tired state, "and yeah, always. Sometimes louder. Much louder since the fob watch released me. Has gotten worse ever since."

"Why... can't I hear it?" I quietly wanted to know.

There suddenly was such a sadness on his face, it made my chest clench for a moment. How long was he carrying this all around, already? "I don't know. No one could, so far. Maybe the Doctor is right, after all. Maybe I'm simply insane." He huffed and closed his eyes, still smiling a little. "You're not going to stab my back if I take a little nap, right?"

What a dumb que- ... Well, actually it wasn't. Thinking about it, there would be no better opportunity to rid the universe of such a cruel and ruthless person. The memory snippets had only revealed a tiny portion of how much trouble and suffering his mere existence had caused already. And then the Master had handed me a gun and I had...

"No, of course not!" I indignantly protested, shoving the memories away.

The smile faded as his breath got more even, tiredness finally claiming him as much as myself.

"You're a weird one," he mumbled. "'m glad I kept you."

Somehow I was too. Slowly, but insistently the strange realisation settled within me, that I actually regretted nothing. Every step had brought me here, and if given the choice, I would always repeat them.

Sure, the Master was a monster to many, and maybe the Doctor had given up on him, already. But, in a sense, I was weirdly sure to have found a friend in him. He would never admit it, nor would I. Still, there was more to him than the openly displayed cruelty. And I had met enough truly bad people to sense, that he was not entirely evil.

Not that I had any clue what to make of this. It might be a fruitless thought. But in the dark fog of my fading mind I developed the weird urge to give something back, to keep an eye on him, however much of an selfish act it might be.

Carefully I huddled a little closer and wrapped the blanket over his shoulders. The Master stirred, tensed, his eyes shot open, searching for any threat, but finding none as they settled on my face. It seemed to dawn on him that there was no danger and his features relaxed again.

The space under the blanket got cold fast, however uncomfortable, so I scurried closer a bit, head resting against his chest, where the faint an alien rhythm of his hearts lulled me in.

"Idiot," he mumbled, but didn't bother to shove me away.


	24. Part IV (V)

It must have been due to exhaustion that I slept so well – definitely _no_ other reason! Now that I had properly rested, my head was clearer than the day before, my mind no longer in a somewhat delirious state. The sound of the drill probably woke me up, tearing into the world of black unconsciousness.

I was still lying in pretty much the same position as the evening before, the Master next to me, breathing regularly and slow, probably still asleep. Did Time Lords really require less rest than humans and this was only due to the life force transfer, or had he lied? It was impossible to tell and I actually didn't care much at that moment.

It was snugly warm under the blanket and I wanted to enjoy it for as long as I could, although it still felt weird to be so close to someone and yet so comfortable. It had never been easy to feel entirely safe around people, mostly because I had such a hard time comprehending all their strange social rules, but also because I knew they wouldn't bother accepting any of my boundaries anyways. But, weird, as it was, the Master had done exactly that, of all people.

Sure, he had kept me here, with him, but with enough space for my own, had I chosen to keep it. And even though I knew his behaviour was mostly to manipulate me, there also was something brutally honest about it. He simply didn't bother to hide who he was and what he wanted.

The sound of the door opening was what finally woke the Master. Or maybe he hadn't been really asleep, after all. He didn't pay attention to whomever was entering and instead only stared at me, brows furrowed and belying the calm state his face had displayed before. It seemed as if he was silently scolding me for still being here.

"Hey, wake up time!" Danny's voice tore through the silence. "I brought breakfast and the Captain said, if you behave all week, we might consider letting you out. Test-wise. So..." He paused and made some noise, like he was placing down some food on the table. A surprised sound indicated he had noticed the untouched meal from the evening before. "Well... don't mess up, yeah? We'll spend quite the time here, it wouldn't do any of us, including you, any good, if you were locked away here for the whole time."

The Master rolled his eyes and himself to the other side, where he sat up and probably gave the other man a dooming look. I sat up as well, suddenly a little embarrassed about how this might look to Danny. Lacking my glasses I couldn't see his expression at the moment, but it sure must have been baffled.

"Oh, here you are," he let out dumbfounded. "I was looking for you." There was a noticeable pause in which he glanced at the Master and then back at me. "Eh... right. You can meet me in half an hour. Follow the purple cables outside and you'll get to me, alright?"

I simply nodded and returned a small smile. When he left, the Master pushed my glasses into my hands and stood, letting his neck crack unpleasantly. "You heard him. Get lost. If not, I'll throw you out myself."

A little perplex I glared at the frame in my hands, slowly unfolded it and placed the glasses on my nose, before I answered.

"And that after practically keeping me prisoner, before." I sighed dramatically and poked out my tongue. "Maybe, for once, decide, whether or not you hate me."

"There really is no decision to make." He huffed annoyed and crossed his arms, waiting for me to move.

So I did and left for my own room. The Ood had brought beddings and other necessities like towels and hygiene products. I snatched some of the latter and went for the common bathroom to get myself somewhat fresh, before following the purple cables to Danny's workplace.

It was weird and scary at first, and I was hellishly glad to have been occupied by other thoughts the evening before, or else I would have worried myself to bits. But Danny actually was really friendly and patient and showed me lots of things that made my head spin.

Eventually he laughed. "Okay, I think that might be enough for one day. But hey, you did well."

My head almost shot up at his words. My hands were busy fiddling some small computer pieces apart. "Th... thanks," I muttered with a shy smile.

"Let's call it a day and get some food, yeah?" He stretched his arms and yawned. "Heh, it's actually fun tutoring someone."

"It's fun learning something useful."

"Didn't you before?" he wanted to know as we walked to the canteen."At your age..."

I glanced away, not saying a word. Danny nudged me against the shoulder and smiled broadly at me.

"Hey, I won't judge," he assured. "I'm just curious."

"I... tried. I really did. They just don't want people like me around. So no one ever gave me an apprenticeship somewhere. Guess I gave up trying, eventually."

"Why's that? What's wrong about you?"

Surprised I peeked at Danny, a little at a loss for words. He should have better asked what _wasn't_ wrong. In the end I only shrugged.

"Guess I behave too autistic for most employers. Social skills count tenfold more than any other abilities. So, if you lack those..." Again I twitched my shoulders and glanced at my shoes.

"Weird," Danny muttered. "Why didn't they put you in the specialist programs like the others?"

"Huh? What're those?" Dumbfounded I blinked at him.

"Uhm... the... geeze. You don't know Oods, you have never heard of the Speccies..." He let out a laugh. "From what colony did you lot come? Well, anyway... back home they have the Speccies. They basically collect neuro-diverse people, like autists, to utilize all your special abilities."

"Certainly not where I come from," I muttered, again wondering what colonies he could mean. But I had no clue if it was safe asking, so I kept quiet about it.

"Eh, doesn't matter now, does it? I mean, you're here, now, and you seem to be really good with all the small parts and the logic stuff... After we finetuned you a little, you won't have trouble finding jobs for the rest of your life."

I couldn't help the smile plastering itself on my face. This was just too good. Being stuck here still scared every last bit out of me, but it was only for a few years, maximum. After that I could go and finally have a proper life of my own. The Time Lords probably hadn't planned on keeping me with them forever, anyway.

Absently my thumb stroked over my wrist. The healing scars were barely palpable, as if they were only a faint shadow of some dream. Maybe I really did owe the Master. At least in this very moment it felt like it.

The Doctor was in the canteen with the rest of the team. He was babbling about, obviously entertaining everyone.

“Oi, Danny!” Jefferson called out. “Did’ya know this guy’s really something in his head?”

“Yeah, he really is,” Ida seconded. “Did calculate the strength of the power source below in a few seconds.”

“Did he now?” Danny raised a brow. “Well, I’m intrigued. Tell, Doctor, what is it?”

“It has an inverted self extrapolating reflex of six to the power of six every six seconds,” the Time Lord shot out immediately and with the widest, proudest grin. “No wonder you want to find it.”

“Alright, I’m impressed,” Danny admitted.

I chuckled. "Six, six, six. We should be scared."

Surprised Danny raised an eyebrow, but didn't say a word. Maybe he was just not into horror movies.

We got our ratio from the Ood and sat at the table with the others. Today I actually _was_ hungry. Quite a lot at that. Only after I had finished half the meal did I pay attention to the others again, admiring how the Doctor had been able to obviously befriend everyone in here within a day. He was just so bubbly and smiling all the time. The all laughed about his jokes and seemed to like him quite a lot.

If only I were able to do that. But me they all pretty much ignored, as if I weren’t even there. Even when I tossed something in, or tried to make a joke. No one paid me much attention, and so I resumed my silence, continued what I had done all my life, observing and studying the people around me. It often happens that I know a lot more about the people around me than they realize, and more than most others know. By watching, you can learn a lot. And watching had always been the only thing I was allowed to do.

There had been times where I had seriously contemplated whether I might be somewhat invisible to humans. They so often treated me as if I didn’t even exist, ignored what I said, bumped into me, totally surprised about my presence.

Even Danny, who had normally talked to me while we were alone, now completely ignored me. The whole situation was way too familiar and hurt more than it should. It reminded me of times with so-called friends, who acted nice and normal towards me, as long as we were alone, but as soon as other people joined I was forgotten, became nothing but a bystander, stopped existing in their world.

I glared at the rest of my food, suddenly not hungry anymore.

Nothing at all had changed, I realized. Apprenticeship or not, I still was no one. I still would live alone and forgotten, as soon as we’d return to earth.

No, I already did, would for as long as we stayed here.

What had I even expected? The world didn't simply change, just because we were on some planet near a black hole. It didn't change because I was alive, although I didn't want to be. It certainly didn't budge at all because the Master behaved like a total dock in one moment, then as if he cared, then as if he was disgusted by the mere thought of having me in close proximity.

My thumb slid over my wrist again, an unheard sigh escaped my mouth. I watched as they all left the room, one after the other, tossing _good nights_ and _sleep wells_ at the remaining people.

What a fool I was. So happy in the morning, only to be tossed back into reality with full force. I wanted to cry, but my eyes refused to produce a single tear, I wanted to punch something, but I felt too limp to move. So, in the end I only dropped my head on my arms on the table and let out a long, frustrated sigh.


	25. Part IV (VI)

"What's wrong with you?" the Doctor's voice asked softly.

Only then did I realize he was still in the canteen with me. Everyone else had already left. Silence laying itself upon the room like a heavy blanket, his question staying unanswered. I remembered how he had left, the previous evening, just like that, as if I was none of his business. Then, I hadn’t thought much about it, but now that I had seen how he treated everyone else...

“You don’t like me,” I concluded quietly, breaking the uncomfortable silence.

“What?! Why would you think that?” the Doctor defended himself. He was seated at the same table, but a few chairs away, letting it bob up and down. Now he dropped all legs to the ground.

“I’m the only one you’re barely talking to, you keep avoiding me, just run off... It’s... I don’t know. Let’s just say, I can sense that it’s true.”

Which wasn’t wrong. During my life I had developed quite the sense for when people didn't want to have me near them.

The Doctor gnawed on his bottom lip for a moment, then rubbed a hand over his face. “Nooo, it’s not that, really not,” he babbled. “Besides, I'm not running off, right now, am I?" He tried one of his cheeky smiles, but failed at it. "I... just barely know you.”

“You know none of the crew, here, and treat every single one a lot friendlier.”

“Oi! That’s not tr-”

“Oh, stop it!” I let out, a rare anger bubbling up inside of me. “I can’t stand it when people try to be polite. Just tell me and it’s okay.”

I sent him a dark scowl, wishing I could let him feel how annoyed I was. Why do people always believe, it’s better to pretend to be kind, when they actually don’t want to have to do anything with another person?

“Lucy... it’s complicated,” he tried again. I scoffed and rolled my eyes, what elicited a tired sigh from him. “See, I sometimes take humans with me. To travel and see the stars...”

“What’s wrong with me, then?” I grumbled. “Each time we met, you tried to get rid of me as fast as possible.”

“That’s only because I have all hands full with the Master!” His hands shot up defensively. “I really don’t want him to harm anyone. And that’s the full truth.”

“Still... That’s only one part of the reason, isn’t it?”

The Doctor let his hands fall into his lap and his face took on a guilty expression. “Well, it doesn’t matter much, now. Even if we weren’t stuck, I wouldn’t leave you on your own, as long as you have no place to go. That’d hardly be fair.” He tried a smile again, but that one also wasn't a success, bringing forth something that was more akin to a grimace.

I dropped my head, shaking it lightly as I sighed out more frustration. This wasn’t going anywhere. He kept avoiding a real answer. There were so many things I wanted – needed – to know, but now I wasn’t much eager to ask them.

“Alright...” I raised my head again and looked him in the eyes. It felt uncomfortable, but for different reasons than usually. Still, I kept my gaze locked with his, knowing that people could find such a behaviour highly unnerving. The Doctor, albeit alien, seemed to have the same reaction. “I too barely know anything about _you_. I’ll keep out of your way from now on.”

“Wha’... hey, that wasn’t... Lucy, wait!”

I didn’t. I didn’t want to hear any more excuses and explanations that explained nothing at all. I didn’t want to stay in his presence any longer, knowing I wasn’t welcomed anyway.

The good mood from before was now entirely gone as I realized how damn lonely I still was. Among people, but still entirely on my own. None of them cared, no one truly wanted to have me here. It was the same as always.

On the way to my room I passed the cell the Master had been put in. His behaviour from the morning came to mind and I stormed past it with a growl, but then halted and turned. None of his behaviour made much sense to me and still I had the feeling it was easier to understand him than anyone else here. The blunt, straight forward way of his was quite refreshing. And maybe he simply had been in a bad mood in the morning.

The scanner still recognized me and let me in. When the door opened I almost bumped into the Master, who was standing near the short corridor, fiddling with some device. It looked like the blue wand-thing the Doctor had used a few times.

"Trying to escape?" I concluded.

The Master only hummed confirming, paying me no further attention. The device in his hands emitted a thin laser beam, cutting open the hull of a panel on the wall.

"The Doctor has a similar device. Are those some special Time Lord tools?"

The Master stopped in his actions and gave me a sarcastic smirk. "Bollocks. It's a laser screwdriver."

"Uhm.... ooookay."

"The Doctor's is sonic. But that's stupid. Laser is much better."

I blinked and eventually shook my head. "Why didn't you try to get out, yesterday?" I wondered instead. "Or was it because of those drums?"

A dark scowl deepened on his face and I swallowed. Had I said something wrong? He seemed angry.

"None of your business, ape brain," the Master sneered and continue to open the panel.

It quickly opened and he started to fiddle with a bunch of wires. I pursed my lips at the insult, feeling all the pain from before rising to a new peek. I swallowed it all down, took a quiet deep breath and tried it once more.

"I just thought... because you said they are quieter around me." Somewhat nervously I fiddled with my fingers, glancing this way and that.

It seemed as if he was now completely ignoring me, but after some seconds he gave up on the wires and turned to face me. There still was such a darkness in his eyes, dangerously sparkling at me. His nose wrinkled in disgust as he looked me up and down.

"Might have been an illusion. Was too subtle to really tell." He shrugged. "So, how about you get lost and let me finish this. I don't assume you'll let me out yourself."

"I don't have the security permissions to do so," I grumbled.

"So, you would if you had?" There was a nasty smile on his face, one that told what exactly he held of that possibility.

"Not if you keep being a prick."

The Master let out a humourless laugh. "I'm simply me. But how could you know? You're nothing but a picked up stray." He poked a finger at my chest, leaned down to be at my eyelevel. "You're a pet. A toy. Nothing more. Don't you forget that, human."

It hurt. It really did. Why the hell could I have been so stupid to believe that he would care? Even if it had been for his own sake, even if he would have only used me to sooth the noise in his mind. No, I had thought there was something more, a small connection, a weird spark of companionship, maybe.

 _You're such an idiot_ , I scolded myself. Just because he wasn't human, didn't mean he would act better than them in any way. It also could mean that he was a lot worse. According to the memory snippets I had seen, he seldom cared for anyone. So why for me, a random human that had been fun to play with for a bit.

"Why did you keep me alive?" I muttered. "If you hate me such much, why go through the trouble?"

Swiftly he tossed the laser screwdriver in the air, let it perform a flip before he caught it again, a mocking grin on his lips. "Told you. It's useful to have people owe you something. And it's funny messing with you. You're so sensible. So... breakable." He chuckled, slightly bent over to hold a hand in front of his belly, a tinge of madness in his voice as he broke out into a full laugh. "Oh, look at your face. It's priceless!"

"Arsehole," I brought out through gritted teeth, trying to keep the tears at bay. "I hope you'll rot in here."

With that I hurled around and left the room, his laughter following me into the corridor. My hands were clenched to fists, my chest aching from all the frustration. I stormed away, not caring where I was heading. My body needed to get rid of all the negative energy, I needed to move, no matter the direction.

After what felt like half an hour I came across the control room, finding it empty. Only the roof was open, revealing the sight of the black hole above our heads. A little hesitantly I stepped in, trod in the middle and dropped to the floor. My back leaned against one of the tables, knees bent and drawn against my chest, whilst I glared up into space, my eyes fixated on the all consuming maw.

Like the first time, the sight was breathtaking and a feeling tugged at me, as if the hole wanted to swallow my very soul. Would I sit here long enough, would that happen? Would I just vanish? Black holes were said to be portals, or gateways to the fifth dimension. Maybe, if a person fell into one, would their entire existence vanish? As if they had never been real in the first place.

_“I can make that happen, little one.”_

My gaze tore away from the hole, rushed through the room, but found nothing. It had sounded deep and rough and so close to me. But no one was here.

_“I am here with you.”_

I winced at the voice and sprang up, turning around myself on the spot.. Still nothing. Had I gone mad from staring at the black hole for too long?

“Wh... who’s there?” I muttered.

 _“I am the darkness in your mind, little one,”_ the voice spoke clearly. _“I am right here with you. Don’t look out. You can’t see me. Let me in, little one. Let me in and I can give you whatever you desire. I am power, I am the black sun. Let me in and never be lonely again.”_

“Master?” I asked hesitantly. “Is that you messing with me?”

Hadn’t he told something about this telepathic stuff working remotely as well?

 _“I am more than any master,”_ the voice continued. _“I am more and I am old and I am power. I will lend that power to you, child of man.”_

A cold shiver went through me as I turned to find the speaker. By the sound of it, he must be standing right next to me, but there was only cold air. And what it spoke... As if it had heard the dark thoughts that had ran through my head, seconds before.

“What are you?” I finally whispered. “A ghost? A hallucination?”

_“I am.”_

It was all it said and what followed was silence alone. I swallowed, contemplating the weird offer. Years of horror movies should have actually trained me to outright refuse. There were few possibilities regarding the nature of this entity. And none of them were particularly good. None of them would hold a happy end for me, that I was rather certain of.

On the other hand... was there really something to lose for me? The worst case would probably kill me and that... well... A nasty, bitter smirk spread on my face, one thumb idly stroking over an already healed cut.

“’kay... Do whatever. I don’t care.”


	26. Part IV (VII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My city is going into another lockdown and even my work and school might be affected... Writing really helps me staying sane in such times, and also always helps when depression hits too hard again.
> 
> So this it just a quick thanks for all the reviews so far! They mean a lot and I'm happy to see y'all enjoying this so much! x3

Whatever I had awaited to happen… didn't. For over a minute I stood there, again watching the black dark maw, not feeling a thing but the pull its sight created within me. Disappointment settled quickly, leaving me even more empty than before.

It had only been in my mind.

I turned away from the black hole and left the room, heading towards my own quarters. That really had been weird and left me feel a little spooked. All the different horror movies and creepy pastas I knew came to mind once more, but those weren't real, right? How could they? And I had been warned that the hole could drive one mad, so there was that.

Perplex I blinked at my feet, realizing I had stopped moving and were just standing there, staring into nothingness. When I looked up, the surroundings had completely changed.

_Where the hell am I?_

Just seconds ago I had been near the control room, but now I was in some corridor, surrounded by stone walls. Had I walked? I couldn't remember. There were no coloured cables around to tell me where to go, either.

And there were...

"What the hell?" I mumbled as I, again, found myself in a new place out of nowhere, glaring at the wall of the room I suddenly stood in.

It was definitely some storage room and not at all connected to the corridor I came from. Outside I found myself in one of the octagonal shaped tubes than ran across the surface. How had I gotten there? Why couldn't I remember?

I shook my head and leaned a hand against the wall, breathing slow to not fall into a panic. My gaze fell onto my hand and I startled once more.

There were black symbols all over my skin.

They looked like letters, vaguely reminding me of the ones I had seen below the writing in the room we had first entered.

_Welcome to hell._

_Six to the power of six every six seconds._

My head spun. Was this some joke? A weird dream? Was I actually still lying on that beach, bleeding out and hallucinating about stuff while the last seconds of my life trickled by? The black letters spread across my wrists as well, covering the healed up scars. Could it be? Was I still out there?

There was a window nearby, no, a door, leading outside. The black sun was visible from here, radiating darkness, calling out to my soul, begging me to come closer. There was nothing to lose anyway, I could simply...

 _'Emergency hull breach!'_ the computer voice called out. _'Emergency hull breach!'_

"Move!" someone called and grabbed me by the elbow, dragging me along. Somehow I had changed locations again, from the previous door, yet into another section of the base, without knowing how. The ground was shaking, making it hard to keep my balance.

Was it the ground? Was it the whole base?

 _'Emergency hull breach!,'_ the voice called out once more.

"That way."

I stumbled through a door and found myself with the Doctor and the others. They all made faces as if something terrible had just happened and paid me and my unknown companion barely any attention.

"Wha'?" I brought out. "Shit, that's confusing. What happened?"

Ida gnawed on her bottom lip, but answered. "Scooti. She's dead. Must've been sucked out during the hull breach."

My mouth dropped open, feeling dry. "S... sorry," I muttered, not knowing what else to say.

Danny was pacing up and down the room, tossing glances at his shoes and at me. "First the telepathic signal from the Ood went haywire, now that... that's not good. Not good at all. And whoever let _that one_ out needs to be fired right away."

He pointed at me with an angry look and I shrunk together, eyes wide in sudden fear. What was going on? Had I done something?

"Don't worry," someone said behind me, "I let myself out."

Immediately Jefferson and some of the armed guys drew their weapons, pointing them in my direction. Or rather in the direction of the one, who had brought me here. Confused I turned around and found the Master standing there, a smug smile on his face.

"One wrong move I let them shoot you," Jefferson warned. "Did _you_ cause the breach? Answer."

The Master snickered. "Oh, don't be daft, human. It's not my style to bring myself in danger. Just thought I'd teach you that there aren't any doors that can hold me. If I want out, I'll get out."

"Then maybe we should just shoot you right on the spot, before you can do more harm?"

Weapons were unlocked and readied. And not a single voice spoke up against it, the Doctor only glancing away and at the floor. Only the Captain spoke up, addressing the pin-stripe-suited Time Lord and tearing his gaze upwards.

"You know the man best, Doctor," he spoke. "You think, he's the one who caused Scooti's death?"

The Doctor's eyes darted this way and that, his hands fidgeting. He didn't look at the Master, not once, but finally he nodded, speaking as if his mouth was dry. "I... I'm not sure he did. But he... would. Given the chance."

"Right, that settles it. We're too few to take risks." The Captain held up his hand and signalled Jefferson his okay.

"Wait!" I called out. They weren't really doing this, were they? "You can't be serious!"

Behind me the Master chuckled darkly. "Oh, they are. Always knew I'd end up dead because of your kind. Should have extinguished all of you a long time ago."

Jefferson shook his head. "Can't risk a psychopath running around freely. The whole base and crew might be in danger. And if we can't lock you away..." He waved a finger at the Master's direction and his men raised the rifles to their eyes.

Without even thinking about it I took a hasty step backwards to stand in front of the Time Lord and held my arms out. "Have you all gone mad? You can't shoot him!"

Silence lay itself upon the room, all eyes resting on me. The whole situation was just absurd, crazy. This wasn't happening! I saw Danny glancing at me, brows furrowed and certainly not happy about my behaviour. Ida looked uncertain, gnawing on her lip. Zach scowled, Jefferson seemed confused. And the Doctor... his eyes were locked with the Master's, apologizing? Pleading? Maybe a bit of both.

A hand was on my shoulder, squeezing it lightly. "Go out of the way, lil' lumin," the Master said softly and with a teasing undertone.

"What? No!" I stared up at him, wide eyed. "They can't just kill you! I won't allow it!"

The look on his face was honestly surprised, confused even, as if he was unable to understand why anyone would be concerned about him. His hand slipped from my shoulder, landed back at his site, limp and unmoving. For a second each and every one of his masks seemed to fall away, revealing an expression I couldn't place. He only seemed... lost.

Zach coughed, broke the silence. He addressed the Master directly, " _Do_ you have anything to do with the breach or Scooti's death?"

The Master tore his gaze away from me and faced the other man.

"No. There's nothing to gain for me in doing so." He crossed his arms, glanced once again down at me, then back to the Captain, mumbling, "And I have a certain feeling you would regret having that one as your enemy."

With that he poked my back, making me jump slightly.

"Well then," Zach spoke up, at me, this time. Uncertainty swung in his voice. "He's your responsibility from now on. If anything happens, you _both_ will have to carry the consequences." He faced away and to the others. "Let's see how big the damage is and get back to work. We'll hold a small ceremony for Scooti in the morning."

With that he rushed out of the room through one of the other doors. Ida cast a quick glance at me and left as well. Danny seemed reluctant, but finally spoke up, before leaving as well.

"Guess I'm not going to trust you anymore," he mumbled towards me. "No further lessons."

He left with slumped shoulders, followed by Toby, who kept quiet the whole time. In the end it was only the Doctor, who remained with us, unable to speak, but also to simply leave. The Master walked past me and stood in front of the other Time Lord.

"Look at you," he spat. "You're such a coward."

"I'm not a-"

"Oh, you _are_!" the Master shouted in his face. "No nuts to kill me yourself, but if others do it, you have no problem just standing there. Pathetic!"

The Doctor seemed to shrink with every word, his face showing pain and hurt. Eventually his glance darted towards me, but whatever he saw on my face made it only worse. Not that I knew much about him, but in that moment he appeared more vulnerable and beaten than I could have imagined him ever looking.

The base shook again, violently enough to send the Doctor to his bum. The Master grabbed my arm to prevent me from falling and held on to a handle on the wall. This time it took over a minute for the tremor to stop, but at least there was no computer voice telling of another breach.

There only was... the sun. The black sun above our heads. Not visible, but still present. It was calling out to me, waving it's tendrils at my mind, clawing into my thoughts.

"I have to see it," I muttered and tried to get out of the Master's grip.

But he only held onto me even tighter, until I gave up and shook my head, suddenly aware that the base stood still again. The Doctor still sat on the ground, looking confused and uncertain. And also exhausted. For a brief second I could sense how distressed he was, how much he must have struggled already and how it had all worn him down.

It didn't matter. He wasn't important. My eyes followed his every movement as he got himself up from the ground, a small chuckle escaped my mouth. In this very moment I suddenly knew what had happened to me, I felt it. There was power, raw and sharp, running through my whole being.

"What the hell, Lucy?" the Doctor let out, staring at me in horror. "Your skin! Your eyes!"

The Master was in my line of view, pushing the Doctor aside to take a glance at me. His face dropped in puzzlement as he saw me. Something inside my mind, the thing that gave me power, bubbled through the surface. It wanted to speak, I could sense it, so I let them use my voice, although it now sounded contorted and way deeper than it should.

"Time Lords," I spoke. "Ahhh, your foolish kind was always amusing. But now I am awoken, now I have the vessel I searched for."

"What are you?" the Doctor demanded. "What have you done to Lucy."

"Done?" I roared out a deep laugh. "I gave that child the power to bath the universe in fire and despair. Because I am the beast. My heart is it that beats in the darkness. I will rise!"

I laughed once again, not sure if it was the entity or myself. This was hilarious and fantastic, all at once!

"Let go of her!" the Doctor called out, while the Master only watched the scene with raised eyebrows, clearly leaving it to his counterpart to get himself in trouble. "Whatever you are, if you want to leave this place, we can help."

The Master snorted, but didn't say a word. The thing in my head laughed without a noise, as if it was winking at me from inside. "You have nothing to offer, Time Lord. Destroyer of your own kind. I am the beast. I am Satan. I am older than all of you and all of your people."

"The beast?" The Doctor let out, dumbfounded. "No... no, no, no, that's only a myth. Which one anyway? Cos the universe has been busy since you've been gone. There's more religions than there are planets in the sky. The Archiphets, Orkology, Christianity, Pash Pash, New Judaism, San Klah, Church of the Tin Vagabond. Which devil are you?"

"All of them and so much more than you can fathom." Again there was this silent chuckle in my head. The entity clearly had their fun messing with the Time Lord.

Now, though, the Master decided to step in, probably bored already. "I have enough of you. Leave the human alone and pick one of the others."

"No," the entity simply spoke and giggled with a devilish smile. The next words were mine, or were they not? "What do you care? You push this human away. You are too scared, your hearts too cold already. No hope is left for one like you."

"Oh, watch me," the Master growled, "and you will see who should be afraid!"

He wanted to step forward, but before he could, the Doctor held a hand out, signalling him to wait another moment.

"How did you even end up on this rock?" The Doctor wanted to know and the Master watched every reaction of mine carefully.

The thing squirmed, roared in my head, anger and hatred flooding my thoughts. "The Disciples of the Light rose up against me and chained me in the pit for all eternity."

"I never heard of that. When was this?"

"Before time," came the foreboding answer.

"What does that mean?"

"Before time," the beast repeated, offering no further explanation.

Hatred and heat dissipated, got replaced by some more amusement, although I sensed it was getting tired of this conversation. _I_ certainly was. I wanted to try out whatever possibilities I had gained, wanted to use this extraordinary energy that coursed through my very being.

 _Patience, little one_ , the thing whispered in my head, then chuckled lightly.

"There is no such thing as _before time_ ," the Master grumbled. "Nothing existed, then."

"Yeah," the Doctor seconded. "No life, no light, no nothing. See? You're talking nonsense! Give Lucy back. Now!"

He raised his sonic screwdriver, pointing it directly at me. I had no clue if it also had a laser, like the Master's, and I had no intention to find out. Raw power swam through my veins, a silent command told me to lift my hand, palm facing towards the Doctor. His eyes widened, as did the grin on my face. Suddenly there was an eruption of energy, invisible to the eye, but strong enough to toss the Time Lord through the room, to smash him against the wall, where he sunk down, unconscious.

Next my eyes landed on the Master, head slightly tilted. I was giddy with excitement.

"What use is a silly gun, what could I gain from taking one life?" I asked him, grinning. "If death and fire amuses you so much... watch out."


	27. Part IV (VIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seems like my workplace will stay open, Covid or not. Which is good news for me,lol. Everyone wants to stay home, but I'm really glad I won't have to spend another few months in total isolation.
> 
> Anyway, on with the story. You'll probably enjoy this very much. (and scream at me again)  
> *puts in earplugs*  
> Have a nice weekend, y'all! °v°/)

A wide grin formed on the Master's face as he trod in front of me, eyes sparkling with anticipation.

"That is indeed a splendid power, you got there," he remarked, then pointed at the Doctor, directing my gaze away from himself. "Was it intended that he's not dead?"

I glanced at the unconscious Time Lord, trying to make out if the Master was right. He used the distraction. Hands lay themselves around my head from behind, two fingers of each hand pressing against my temples. I startled, stumbled backwards and bumped against the Master. He slipped into my mind effortlessly, filling it with his presence. I felt the entity fight back, roaring and laughing, but the Master seemed to be able to prevent the thing from lashing out physically, to use its power against him, like it had allowed me to do with the Doctor.

All I had left was my own body, my size, my dexterity. No one was going to take this from me! I let myself fall, the movement too sudden and unexpected for the Master to catch me. I rolled to the side, sprang to my feet and ducked away, vaguely aware that I wouldn't be able to do any of this without the thing that possessed me.

"No, I'm not going to give this back!" I spat. "Once and just once it's _my_ turn."

The Master let out a small laugh and towered above me, without attacking again."And what will you do with such a power, little one?"

Hatefully I glared up at him. "Take revenge," I growled. "I'm not allowed to die. I'm not allowed to be part of anything. I've done nothing to deserve that! _Nothing!_ " I yelled, letting out everything that gnawed on me. "If my whole existence is so damn wrong, then I'll show them how bloody right they are!"

"Ohhhh, so you want to crush them with your own hands?" A mad gleam sparked in his eyes.

"Heh, yes." I gave him a grim smirk. "I've had my fill of humanity, of life. I'm done being left behind and ignored."

As I spoke the entity chuckled in my mind, let a surge of energy rush through my veins. It felt amazing. I knew I could do whatever I wanted, now. Nothing and no one was going to stop me.

Except for the pitying look the Master tossed at me. His lips twitched in a sarcastic smile.

"And you'd be okay with someone else doing this _for_ you?"

I subtly winced at his words. They had hit a spot within me, one I couldn't so simply ignore. The beast didn't like that at all, roaring and clawing at my mind with fury, pushing me to action. My eyes pinched shut in the sudden pain, a groan escaped my mouth.

All this strength... but it wasn't really mine. It wouldn't let me do as I pleased, would only use me as a tool...

Again there were fingers at my temples, almost gently I felt the Master's presence slip into my head and squirm his way through the flow of thoughts and emotions. I didn't struggle, yet; the seed of doubt he had planted making me momentarily unable to decide what would be best.

Both streams of energy fought in my mind and for the first time I felt how truly ancient this entity must be, how its essence was nothing but pure malevolence, destruction, chaos, a flame that would consume all of reality if given the chance. It roared and flailed without mercy, without giving a single thought to my wellbeing. My head throbbed in hot searing pain as it fought the Master.

 _Time Lord_ , it growled mentally, _You can't win this! I am! And you are so much less!_

_So? You still have no right to be here. This human belongs to me._

Puzzled I blinked at the Master. Hadn't he pushed me away just some hours ago? Hadn't he done his best to make me stay away from him? How could he still claim ownership?

He only smirked cheekily and poked out his tongue, a look in his eyes as if he had heard my thoughts.

 _Then give in to me!_ The entity spoke again. _You could own and rule all of time and space with the power I'd give to you!_

"Mhm... tempting," the Master responded aloud, yet his voice oozed with sarcasm. "But I'd rather do that without giving up control over my own mind."

And with that he pushed more of himself against the beast. I gasped as I felt... him. Determination, anger, pain, amusement and so much more. All those foreign sensations that weren't my own, and still so shallow, as if he was only brushing the very surface of my mind.

It was enough, however, to make out the distinct difference between him and the entity. Whilst the beast seemed pure and utter evilness, the Master was... more. There was an unbelievable capability for violence and cruelty inside of him, but I also felt his deep longing to be free again, free of the Doctor and the TARDIS, free of the drums that drove him to more chaos than he actually _wanted_.

Only a second could have passed like that, feeling like an eternity. The Master chuckled all of a sudden, ceasing his attempts to fight the thing. Instead he caught my eyes with his, smiling impishly.

"Do you feel it?" he muttered. "What this thing truly is? Is that what you want?"

I didn't have to ask what he meant. It was clear. Would I give in to the thing it would rob me of my ability to act and think for myself. It would simply use and throw me away at the first opportunity. Anger welled up inside of me and this time I was sure it was my own. I _didn't_ want to be used like that.

"Why?" I only asked, my eyes filling tears of frustration. "Why can I never have _anything_?"

 _You refuse!_ A roar rumbled through my head, painfully letting the walls of my sanity vibrate. _Useless human! I don't need one like you._

Its presence clawed through my mind, ripped at parts of me I couldn't even name, instead of simply leaving. If it couldn't have me, it wanted to destroy me. My sight blurred, black dots started to dance in front of my eyes. I tasted blood and gasped. But only a second later the Master was back.

"Oh no, you don't," he growled.

My head felt as if it would split open. Hot burning pain pulsated through every fibre of my body, a whimper escaping me. The Master growled in frustration, retreated just enough not to cause me pain himself any longer, while the beast filled all of my mind with its deep and cruel laughter.

"Too shallow," the Master grumbled, brows knitted together. "Remember? This works with skin contact."

I swallowed and nodded, sensing what he meant, even before his hands fell from my temples and slipped under my hoodie and shirt. A shiver went down my spine as his cool fingers sprawled across my back, almost gently pushing me closer to him. Instantly the intensity of his presence in my head increasing. I glanced up at him, seeing his eyes closed in concentrated eagerness.

And still I wasn't entirely sure if I wanted to rid myself of this power. The beast fought back again, not with pain, but with reaching out for all the things hidden in the dark. It showed me how I could make everyone suffer for what they had done to me, showed me how my life could be if only people would be forced to _see_ me. It would not matter anymore how different my brain worked, how incapable I was of acting and reacting like other humans.

I could drench the earth in blood and fire.

A sob shook me, my teeth clenched. What did it matter if I would get lost in this process? Who would care? Everything was so cold, it made me shiver. No, I didn't care that much about revenge. I only wanted it to stop. All of it.

And then there was something else, a sensation as if something warm wrapped gently around my chest, as if a soft blanket got thrown over my mind. A weird, unexplainable feeling of... warmth, of being accepted, of not having to prove or bring anything. There was no need to. I simply belonged, had found a place to stay, where I was welcomed and warmly smiled at.

I simply swam in this feeling until it burst in a bubble of rage and hatred, of frozen fire, splintering into shards that shred my soul into pieces.

"Shit. How bloody strong is this thing?" the Master growled, tearing me back into the present.

Had those warm feelings just now come from him? Had he countered the beast's strategy with them? An alternative to rage and chaos, revenge and hatred. I knew he didn't care, but still...

Or did he?

The beast screamed in my head, showed me images of power, of strength and dominance. But suddenly they seemed so... useless. That wasn't what I wanted. Not like this.

"Get rid of it, please," I mumbled. "It hurts. It's cold. This is worse than dying."

Much worse. Back then it had been warm. Just falling asleep while being held, listening to fire and ocean waves under the starlit sky. Now it felt as if every cell in my body was frozen and burned at the same time, all while the thing in my head laughed at all the fun it had with my suffering.

"I can't," the Master suddenly muttered. "You're not a Time Lord. Your mind is not... I can't get deep enough." He growled out his frustration and suddenly bore his eyes into mine. "I need stronger contact."

"O... okay," I responded confused, surprised I was still able to speak or think within the onslaught of pain and anguish that raved through my head as the entity understood it wouldn't get me.

The Master dropped his forehead against mine and I felt the connection strengthen just a little. Not enough. It wasn't enough. I knew it without him telling me and saw it in his look. His hands vanished from my back, landed on my temples again, instead, thumbs stroking over my cheeks. "You're so going to hate me for this," the Master muttered with a small, strained smile.

And then he leaned forwards, his fingers pressing against my head, his lips suddenly moving against mine. I winced in surprise, but instantly felt the connection flaring alive to a strength I hadn't anticipated. The Master's energy in my head suddenly got crystal clear, intertwined with my own essence, wrapped itself around my thoughts, slipped inside every gap.

The beast screamed out in rage, fought back with all its strength. I felt its hatred, I felt warm lips on mine, slow and careful, tasting of time. My thoughts got unravelled, ceased. I was... no longer me. He drove deeper and, at the same time, I somehow did the same to him, was inside _his_ mind as much as the other way around. There were no eyes to see, no ears to hear, and still I was flooded with images and sounds, memories, emotions, intermingling with my own, creating a feedback loop.

It only seemed natural to respond the kiss, deepening it even, my hands fisting into his shirt. My pulse raced, or was it mine? Beating once, twice, three times. Everything blurred, melted together.

There was... nothing, and all at once. Within my mind I was stripped, standing bare and yet not naked. The Master was the same, without any masks, without pretending. Only the raw essence of who we were, swimming in the darkness, intertwined and one. No, it wasn't even truly dark. Golden light swam within and around, endlessly tiny sparks of... time? Where did he end? Where did I begin? Did any of it even matter? In this space no judgement could exists, no coldness, no hate, nor any pain.

It was an embrace, warm and soothing and so completely filling the both of us that nothing else could exist in the same space. In some vague corner of my consciousness I heard the devil scream in rage one last time.

And then there was silence.

The beast was simply gone, the kiss tapered off, it's slowing also untangling our minds. The Master was careful in what he did, made sure I found the way back from us to myself. Only when it was done did he slowly retreat from me physically. As his lips left mine, the presence of his mind vanished at last, leaving me suddenly bare and empty, shivering from a coldness that existed in my mind alone.

How had I never realised how lonely it could be one's own head? It was confusing, dizzying almost. I swayed, only staying upright because I still clutched his shirt. Everything spun and I allowed myself to gently drop forwards, against his chest, to breath slow and deep until the world stood still again.


	28. Part IV (IX)

I felt a hand gently ruffling through my short hair, deliberately making a mess of them. Tiredly blinking I lifted my head, glanced at the Master and very suddenly realised what exactly had just happened. A furious blush crept up my neck and all over my face. Hastily I pushed myself away from him.

The Master let me, watched for a mere second, then burst out laughing.

"You should see your face!" he cackled.

I tried to smack his arm, but he simply evaded, still giggling to himself. Not that I was actually mad at him, it was just funny trying to land a blow somewhere for his dumb behaviour. But neither trying to stomp on his foot, nor poking him at least, was of success, so I gave up, folded my arms and resorted to scowling at him with pursed lips.

"Was that really necessary?" I grumbled, barely able to keep a smile from my lips.

The Master calmed down and poked out his tongue through his teeth. "Stupid question. You should have literally felt the effect."

He was right. I knew perfectly well why he had kissed me, even though I wasn't so sure about the technical background. This whole telepathic stuff was still confusing to me. What it had done, in the end, was undeniable, however. The beast was gone, I was alive and well. Still I kept the frown on my face and growled a little to myself.

The Master poked my head with one finger, grinning from ear to ear. "Oh, stop sulking. And don't pretend you didn't like it."

"Pfffffffff......." I let out, not deigning him an answer.

"What's going on?" The Doctor's voice tore us out of the silly banter. He seemed to have regained his consciousness and had lifted himself from the ground. In that moment I was quite happy he had slept away the previous... situation. He still seemed a little groggy. The blow must have hit him hard, the thought now making me slightly uncomfortable. "Lucy, are you... is that thing still in your head?" He groaned and rubbed his own, glancing from me to the Master.

"I got rid of it," the other Time Lord simply told. "No idea where it went, but it's not here anymore."

The Doctor sighed and gave me a long look, as if to make sure it was the truth. It was hard to tell what he thought. I knew this was actually the moment meant to apologize for my action before. However, seeing he wasn't even hurt and considering his behaviour towards me... I couldn't be bothered less.

The two Time Lords glared at each other for a good minute. The tension in the room was almost worse than it had been with the entity around. None of them moved, no one spoke a word. The small interruption I had caused couldn't make their fight undone.

And then, as I tossed glances back and forth, a smile spread on the Master's lips, amused and weirdly honest. "For all my attempts to murder you, it's only fair enough that you try the same. In your own way."

"You know it's not like that," the Doctor answered with a certain sadness in his voice. "I don't want you to die."

At that the other Time Lord laughed. Cackling to himself he crossed his arms over his chest. "I _know_! Dumbass. You only try it when you're certain I'll get out of it... relatively unscathed."

Perplex I glanced at the two. The whole situation made not much sense to me. There was a small, almost involuntary smile, twitching the corners of the Doctor's mouth upwards. He shrugged his shoulders, hands buried in his pants pockets.

"You always get away."

"'Cause I do," the Master agreed, nodding in my direction. "So make sure to treat my pet a little nicer from now on."

With that he turned around and marched to the door, leaving us behind. The Doctor and I exchanged puzzled glances. How could the Master know how the other man treated me? Had he seen it in my mind? Or did they simply know each other so well that it was obvious to him?

Meanwhile the Master had left the room, vanishing down the corridor with swift steps. I looked away from the Doctor and followed suit, the other Time Lord right behind me.

"Where are you going?" the Doctor asked as he caught up. "You know I can't let you harm any of them for-"

"Ugh, can't you just shut it, Doctor?" the Master groaned. "Eh, silly question. 'Cause you can't."

"Oi! You might not care, but you _know_ it's wrong! Just listen inside you, Master."

"No. There's only the sodding drums," the other Time Lord spat and rounded a corner. "Not that you'd believe it." He cut off the Doctor as he wanted to answer. "Besides, I'm not interested in your humans, right now. I'm heading to the elevator shaft. They should all be there."

"Why would they? What do you want there?"

"Satisfying my curiosity."

"But why the elev- ohhhhhhh!" Suddenly it dawned on the Doctor. He sped up his steps.

"What?" I wanted to know. "What is there?"

"Something beyond powerful, lil' lumin. Listen."

I did, although I had no clue for what. "I don't hear anything."

The Master chuckled and winked at me. "Exactly. Don't you miss it? The constant noise?"

"What noi-" My mouth fell shut as I understood. "The drill stopped."

"Yup. And whatever possessed you must have come from the core. Must be something that lay dormant until they reached deep enough to wake it up. Otherwise it would have shown itself earlier."

We reached a room that was mostly built into the ground. Natural walls of stone surrounded us, decorated with wires and tubes and ventilation shafts. Machines also stood tall, monsters of metal and plastic, with too many levers and buttons and displays.

The crew really was gathered here. Ida, Danny, Toby and Zach, at least. They stood near a wide hole in the ground. A huge, thick metal construct stuck out from it, containing the now silent drill and an elevator.

"...should not risk anything!" Danny demanded with a stern face. "We already lost someone, today."

"And if we don't go down, it will have been for nothing," Ida countered and gestured towards the shaft. " _This_ is what we came here for! We made it through, that's all that matters."

"Ida's right," Zach seconded with folded arms. "But Toby's right, too. The symbols the cameras have picked up... We shouldn't risk too much."

"What symbols?" the Master demanded to know as we all stepped closer.

Everyone tensed and moved a little away, all faces wearing hints of fear on them. Danny spoke first, his look dark. "What the heck are _you_ lot doing here?"

"Not breaking your neck," the Time Lord growled forebodingly.

"We want to help," the Doctor tried to sooth the previous words. "It's in all our interest to fins this mysterious powery power source, isn't it?"

"Not interested in helping. But the sooner this all is done, the sooner we can come back for the TARDIS, am I right?" The Master glowered at the humans around.

"Yes, you are," Zach confirmed grudgingly. "But we're not going to risk losing more crewmates because you want to speed up things." He pointed at the hole in the ground. "The power source probably is of alien origin. Our cameras picked up structures that are unlikely to be natural. And also more of the strange symbols Toby's busy translating."

"Have you been successful with them?" the Doctor wanted to know, excitement swinging in his voice. "My ship couldn't translate it. Means it's old. Extremely, impossibly old."

Toby shook his head. "No. Not yet. Translating a completely unknown language takes a while. Especially one that is alien."

Ida hummed understanding. "It's risky for now. First we should send some drones scouting, then-"

"I'll go down."

All eyes shot to the Master. He stood there, arms folded and a look on his face that left no room for discussion.

The Doctor squirmed, opened his mouth to speak and quickly closed it again. He tried once more, this time succeeding. "Then I'll go too! Can't wait to find out what's down there and since you all don't wanna risk anything..."

"We barely know you, Doctor," Zach tossed in, a sceptical look on his face. "We can't trust either of you."

"No," I mumbled into the silence that spread. Surprisingly, everyone looked at me and I shrunk together somewhat. But didn't have I enough of being overlooked? Scowling I straightened myself and stepped forward, pulse racing, hands sweaty, but I managed. "We're disposable. And it's not as if any of us could flee with whatever is down there. Besides..." I smiled and thumbed behind me at the Master. "He's my responsibility. Didn't you say that? So it clearly should be _me_ who comes down with'im."

"You're not babysitting me, ape!" the Master spat. "But you're right. Fleeing isn't an option and doing any harm down there would be suicide."

The crew members exchanged glances. Eventually Zach nodded and Ida also didn't seem to hate the idea, even though she made sure to be in the next group to go down there.

"I'm not going to miss out taking a look myself," she sternly commented. "But Lucy's right. As mean as it may sound, we have nothing to lose by letting them down first. Although it's a shame."

"Humans," the Doctor remarked with a wide, admiring smile. "Always so full of curiosity. Flying all the way across space, right below a black hole, drilling into the heart of a planet. You are _amazing_!"

The Master grunted annoyed, but Ida seemed flattered and smiled. "Doctor, I think you should stay with us."

"What!?" he exclaimed. "No! I want to go down! I volunteer!"

"Yes, but out of your bunch you're the only one I'm somewhat trusting. We need a reliable person to recall the events, when we're back home. And, just in case, a brain like yours might be helpful in a dire situation."

"Believe me," the Master sneered, "He's not the brain of this group. Certainly not!"

"Oi! Master, stop it!" the other Time Lord whined. "So far I foiled every single one of your plans, don't you forget that!"

"Yeah..." He snorted out a short laugh. "With sheer luck and dumb coincidences. Nothing to do with intelligence."

"Okay, okay, stop!" Zach trod between them and tossed dark glances this way and that. "The two of you are definitely not going down together. But I agree with Ida, you two will go." He pointed at me and the Master. "See it as a way to redeem you. Or to prove that we can count on you, whatever."

* * *

.

* * *

An hour later we were briefed and ready to descent. Both, the Master and I were clad in orange space suits, since there would be no oxygen inside the planet. The thing was surprisingly comfortable and not at all bulky, as I had imagined space suits to be. Even the oxygen tanks weren't that heavy, but that was mostly due to the fact that we wouldn't stay long.

Ida had explained how everything worked, how we would be driven down inside the small elevator next to the dormant drill. She handed us some tools, too. A gravity ball, some communicators and a scanning device to gather data about the power source, should we come across it.

"What do you think to accomplish?" the Doctor asked calmly. "I don't think whatever is down there lets you run off with the power source."

The Master chuckled and shook his head. "Wasn't the plan."

"Don't tell me you'll try and blow the whole thing up!"

"Geeze, of course not, idiot!" the Master shot back. "That would blow me up as well."

"Maybe... but I know for a fact that you didn't just change into the helping type." The Doctor frowned. " _Something_ makes you go down. And I'm rather sure I won't like the reason. As always."

"And as always you're so, so wrong, Doctor."

"We're ready!" Zach called out.

I put on the round helmet, letting Ida check if everything was alright. She did the same with the Master and then signalled us to step into the elevator.

"Do you think the beast is down there?" I quietly asked him.

"Well, I certainly hope so."

The Doctor's eyes widened. He had clearly overheard us. "No," he hushed. "You can't cooperate with that thing, Master. Whatever it is, it's not-"

"Wrong, Doctor." The other Time Lord chuckled.

"But... what do you want, then?"

I glanced up, curious about the answer. There had to be a reason for the Master to take this risk, and to make sure he would be the first to go down and face whatever was lurking in the dark. A mechanical rumble went through the cave, then the elevator slowly started to move, gliding down surprisingly smooth.

"I tell you, what I'm going to do," the Master told grinning, while we vanished into the ground. "I'm going to kill that thing."


	29. Part IV (X)

Smoothly the elevator rattled down into the pitch black depths of the planet's core. There was no noise beside the rumbling of the machines and the sound of my own breathing inside the helmet. Aside from a tiny lamp above our heads there also was no light to illuminated the shaft, nothing to indicate how far below our destiny lay. Only the timer inside my helmet told that we were in here for almost ten minutes.

"-kzzzt- You're okay, there?" the Doctor's voice asked through the communicator.

I picked mine up and pressed the button at its side. "Yup. All quiet and boring."

"Good! –zzzzt- We might not respond in a while. Or, well, we will. But things got a little busy. The Ood started to act up and..."

"-kzzzz- Move, Doctor!" Zach's voice rang from afar through the com. "We need to get to section 22. It's sealed and they won't come in so easily."

"You heard the man! Ida's still in the elevator room. And Jefferson is guarding the door and hallway."

The Master chuckled and shook his head, picking his own communicator up. "Can't leave you alone for one second, Doctor," he mocked. "Was actually hoping it would be me to get rid of you..."

"Ha! Don't fret. I'll find a way to protect everyone. You know me."

"Yeah, I do," the Master mumbled and smiled to himself. With that the communicator went dead and silence spread again, only interrupted by the noises of the elevator.

I did not ask. The relationship between the two Time Lords seemed a lot more complicated than I could fathom in that moment. Enemies, but still friends, fighting each other to the blood, not bothering to endanger their lives and still hoping the other would survive anyway.

My thoughts got interrupted as the elevator landed on the ground with a rough thump. The door rattled open, leading us outside into absolute darkness.

"The gravity globe," the Master said, holding me by the shoulder, before I could step outside. "You don't want to accidentally fall into a hole, do you?"

"Eh, no."

I reached down and picked the sphere from the elevator ground. It had roughly the size of a soccer ball and was smooth to the touch. As Ida had instructed I tossed it into the air, where it flew upwards for a bit, before suddenly illuminating our surroundings. The sphere kept hovering in the air and even followed us around.

The light was bright enough to reveal an enormous cave, with lots and lots of layers into the depth. Bridges of stone connected them, decorated by ancient stalagmites and stalactites, thick as trees. And not only that. Where we exited the elevator, there were giants of statues carved into the rough stone walls. Devilish faces, horned heads and more of the strange symbols.

I glared open mouthed at the scenery, slowly turning around myself o take everything in properly. Even the statues were more fascinating than scary, despite their eerie depictions.

"That's... wow," I simply let out, finding myself at a complete loss for words.

The Master stepped next to me, his eyes wandering over the scene. "Yeah, indeed." An odd smile was on his face, or was it simply the light? "The universe is still able to surprise me."

We reported back to Ida. I told her as best as I could about what was down here and heard in her response how much she envied us right now.

We didn't walk far. Maybe a hundred meters. I picked up the com again, while the Master kneeled down next to a huge round gate on the ground.

"Hey, Ida. We found some kind of hatch. It's really big and round. The Master looks for a way to open it."

"Are there more of the symbols?"

"Uh, yeah, there are. The whole hatch is full of them. How's it going with the Ood?"

Ida was silent for few seconds, before the com crackled again. "Not good at all. We have reports of several deaths. It's as if they are... possessed. Their eyes are glowing red. I've never seen that before."

A tremor went through the ground, making me sway and almost lose my halt. Luckily it was over fast and I recovered. The connection to Ida was cut, however, and I couldn't get through again. I glanced over at the Master, who was busy studying the symbols, as the ground shook once again, but subtler and...

"It's opening!" I let out.

A line appeared, splitting the hatch in half. Each side slowly started to retreat backwards, revealing a bottomless, black chasm underneath. Only when the ground had completely opened did the tremors stop.

Carefully I trod next to the Master to the edge, leaned over and glared into the abyss. All light from the gravity globe simply got swallowed after a while, leaving us with nothing but a gaping maw of blackness. A strange sensation tugged at me, as if there was something calling, urging me to move, to... fall. The Master grabbed my arm, even though I hadn't moved.

"The call of the void," he mumbled darkly into his beard. Perplex I blinked up at him, but his eyes kept glued to the hole. "Feeling the impulse to jump... May it only be to satisfy your own curiosity..."

"Oh, that. Yeah... it's a weird phenomena." I tugged at my arm to get free and he let go. "So, how do we get down there?"

The com crackled. I tried to get a signal, but no words came through. Then the ground shook again, making us stumble backwards to not fall into the chasm. This time the tremor was even worse. We heard stones fall all around us, large junks of rocks, crashing to the ground; one of the statues nearby developed a fine crack across its face, giving it a horrifying grimace. Then there was a loud bang, a snap and the whistling noise of something falling. The tremors stopped, but seconds later something crashed to the ground nearby, swirling up dust and dirt. It came from the direction of the elevator and we hurried back, finding it to be completely destroyed by the fallen heavy metal cable.

"Must have snapped," the Master concluded and picked up the frayed end. His gaze wandered upwards. "No communication, no elevator. Great." To my surprise he chuckled, but there was no humour in the sound. "There. In the end you get what you wanted."

"M... me? Why?"

He tossed the cable at me and I caught it, blinking puzzled down at it. It was really heavy, thick. For it to simply snap there must have been quite the force at work. Or maybe the Ood? Were the others safe?

"What do you think? There's no way back. And those oxygen tanks won't last forever."

I swallowed, glancing up into his face. "That's nothing I wanted." The realisation that we were stuck down here didn't quite reach me, yet. It was too sudden, too unreal.

We would die down here.

Simply suffocate... The rational part of my mind knew it, but everything else... Slowly I started to walk back to the hole, dragging the cable along. The Master followed and I continued to speak, shaking my head. "And I certainly don't want anyone else being dragged into anything."

"How nice of you," the Master mocked. "Care to explain what you want with that cable?"

"Just checking. We can toss it down the hole and see how far it reaches."

"We'd have to get it back up."

"So?"

The Master chuckled. "Oxygen. Remember? We're running out of time. Well, you have to be a lot more worried about it than I. To my knowledge, your kind doesn't possess a respiratory bypass."

"Eh... no. Never heard of anything the like. What's it supposed to do?"

"The short version?" He watched as I still dragged the cable along. "I will survive much longer without air than you could."

"Hm..." I made and pulled out some strands from the cable. Inside were several thick metal wires, strong enough to hold my weight. I bent and twisted them in a way that I could somehow wind them around me and secure the whole thing with some straps around my shoulders. I practically wore the cable like a backpack.

The Master simply watched, obviously aware of my plan. Only when I was done did he raise his voice.

"Sure about that?"

I shrugged and stepped to the edge of the chasm. "I'll suffocate anyway. Up again's no option."

"You think there is something down there to help?" he mocked."How big are the chances?"

"Almost zero," I confessed quietly. "Still better than doing nothing. Besides..." My eyes were glued to the darkness in the pit. I swallowed. "Curiosity. Can't help it... the thought of dying without knowing what's down there... it's...well... killing me."

The Master let out a groan, ignoring my chuckle. "Don't start with the puns again," he begged.

"Aaaaw, why not?" I asked, poking out my tongue, then glanced down the pit again to hide my grin. "You know... Having that elevator cable makes me remember... Do you know why a ghost would ride an elevator?"

"No! And I seriously don't want-"

"Because it lifts their spirit."

I barely had time to giggle at his exasperated groan. Something hit my back, the world suddenly rushed past me as I fell into the darkness of the chasm until the cable stopped my fall with a rough tug, pushing all air out of my lungs for a moment. Dizzy and confused I hung there, legs and arms moving without finding a halt, my brain struggling to comprehend how I could hang in the air without my feet or hands touching anything.

It took only a few seconds. Then I stared up at the small spec of light from the gravity globe. The figure of the Master stood bent over the chasm's edge, holding the cable. He chuckled to himself.

"I told you to stop," he said nonchalantly.

"You didn't have to kick me down!"

"We won't last so long. Was the last chance to do that."

I grunted and rolled my eyes. "Well... at least I can make puns with no end, now. Can't kick me twice."

"One more and I let go," he warned.

"Spoil-sport," I grumbled, somewhat pissed, but actually more amused. "Okay, let me down. _Slow!_ "

He did. The cable scratched against the stone, bringing me ever so further into the darkness. The light above me shrunk, the Master's silhouette faded, and for several minutes there was silence between us. After all, what was left to say?

Deep within us, we both knew that this was the end. Not that I could speak for the Master, but he must have known it, too. No word came from Ida, no contact from the Doctor. The display of the oxygen tanks sinking without mercy. And yet if felt completely different to the night at the sea, by the fire. Surreal and far away, as if someone else was hanging there, in the darkness.

I lifted my head, barely able to see the entrance of the chasm anymore. There was only a tiny dot, a blinking star in an empty night sky. I remembered the communicator and picked it up, pressing the button. Static greeted me, waiting for my voice to break the silence.

"Master?" I uttered.

There was no answer, but my descent halted for a moment. I heard something crackle through the static, then the cable continued to slide down. Maybe he had activated the com, maybe he had thrown it away.

"Seems like saving my life was in vain, in the end," I spoke quietly. There was a weird urge to talk, no matter if he listened or not. "All I got from it... " For some seconds I fell silent, then tried again. "Nothing changed, you know. I'm still the same person. I still belong nowhere. And I still have no clue whether or not you hate me. And if you do... No, you wouldn't have kept me alive then."

The cable slowed and eventually stopped moving altogether. My communicator crackled.

"That's it," the Master told, ignoring everything I had said before. "You reached the end of the cable."

"Haven't touched any ground yet," I informed him, feeling a sting in my chest. "No idea how far it still goes. Might be miles, or just a few meters."

"Yeah," came the only answer, the word breathed out like a sigh. "I'll pull you back up."

"No."

Silence.

Another crackle of static.

"You sure?"

I nodded, then remembered he couldn't see that. My eyes fell on the display in my helmet.

"There isn't even enough time. Only a few minutes of oxygen."

No answer.

"When you brought me back... I really hated you for it," I told quietly. "And when that thing possessed me... I didn't even know I was carrying so much hate and contempt inside me. Not all of it was from myself... but... lots of it." Somehow I knew the Master wouldn't deign me a comment on my words, so I simply babbled on, knowing it would be the last thing I'd ever speak. "But I also got the chance to see some truly amazing things. A real black hole... who would have thought. And this whole cave system, down here. It's amazing. It really is. I'm thankful I was able to see that."

The number steadily decreased. Time was running up.

"Master?"

Static. "Hm?" His voice sounded unwilling, as if he didn't want to speak to me at all.

"Thank you."

"What for?" he grumbled.

"For those few moments. Just a few... They were nice. I didn't have much of those in my life. And now I had several in such a short time." With lots of bad strewn in-between, but in those last moment I refused to let them ruin the good. "That's all, I guess. Going to cut the straps."

Silence. A crackle, followed by nothing. I got out a knife from and started to cut through the straps I wore like a backpack.

"Lucy?"

I halted, my heart thudding in my chest. He had never used my name until now.

"Yeah?" I choked out, feeling tears prickle my eyes.

"This is a command," he uttered darkly, his voice sounding strangely hoarse. "Hypnotism and all that, remember?"

I did. I remembered that it worked only partially with me. And also that he needed eye contact for it to work at all. He knew too, of course. But in that moment we both decided to ignore it.

A last time I heard the crackle through the static, while I worked the straps. The Master's voice reverberated through the darkness, low and almost pleading, but too quiet to make it out for sure. His words, however, were clear.

"Don't die."

The straps finally severed. My grip around them loosened.

Darkness above.

Darkness below.

I fell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually had a way funnier draft for this... It's a fine line to walk with those self-inserts... The funnier version would have been way more... _me_ , but would have totally ruined the mood from a story perspective. (maybe I'll add it as a little bonus for you. xD )


	30. Deleted Scene - Bad jokes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is what would have actually happened if it were truly me hanging on that cable, about to fall into an uncertain death...  
> Please don't take this too serious xDDDDDD

As the cable slid down the pitch black maw I did not feel the urge to talk, all words had left me, were stuck in my head, swirling, repeating, dancing, almost making me sick.

The com crackled to life. "You alright, down there?" the Master asked. "Tell me when you dropped dead. I hate doing work for nothing."

It took me a few seconds to get it. I pushed the button on my com. "Yeah, I'll make sure to float back up and haunt you."

There was a silly chuckle on the Master's end, untying the knot in my chest. Then my descent stopped. The com sprang to life once again.

"End of the line," the Master announced. "Literally."

I groaned and rolled my eyes. "And why again am _I_ not allowed to make puns?"

"Yours are bad," came the mocking answer.

"Oi!"

I chuckled, but then fell silent. Neither of us spoke a word for almost a minute. What was there to talk anyway? A glance at the oxygen display told me there was no time to get back up and I had no way of telling how far down the pit would still reach. _Damit_...

Once again I held the communicator to my helmet. "I could jump."

"Wanna try out all methods until one works?" the Master bantered back. "You're even worse at dying than I am. And believe me, I survived things..."

I snorted. Somehow this whole situation was too far away from really to comprehend. Sure, I literally hung in the middle of it, but my mind simply wouldn't catch up. This was so different from the night at the beach.

The number on the display kept decreasing.

"I've got... roughly five minutes of oxygen left," I told, even though he must know. We had the same tanks after all.

I picked up a knife that was clipped to the space suit and started to cut my makeshift hold, when the Master spoke again. "Are you?"

"What?"

"Jumping."

I continued cutting. "Yep. Better than suffocating... I guess."

"Well, thanks for leaving that to me." He chuckled, but I could hear that his voice was a little strained. "So... any last words?"

"Uh... pheeew.... I don't know. I probably should say something meaningful, shouldn't I?"

"Guess so."

"What about you?"

Silence. The com crackled a few times, as if he wanted to say something, but nothing ever came. The hold was severed. All I had to do now was to click open the clip. Three minutes left... Last words no one would ever hear... no one who would survive to tell the tale. Somewhat hesitantly I pressed the button.

"I'm ready," I mumbled. "Stupid last words, I know..." I took a deep breath and a smile tugged my lips upwards. "Well then... _Live long and prosper_ "

I heard a groan through the com. "That's from Star Trek!"

I couldn't help the laugh. "It's epic, okay! And hey! You know Star Trek?"

"Ugh! Shut up and jump already, you're going on my nerves. And don't you dare dying, you hear me?"

I snorted. "Not gonna happen. You just ruined my epic last words. I'll have to kick your butt for that."

A soft chuckle crackled through the com as I unfastened the clip, barely holding onto it.

"Alright... See you," I mumbled. And then couldn't help, but add, " _Praise the sun!_ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last one is from the videogame Dark Souls. Those would be the most epic last words of all time... 😂


	31. Part IV (XI)

Falling when there is no air around you is a strange feeling. You sense the drop and gravity takes a hold of you. There is, however nothing rushing past you, nothing tugging at your clothes. It is almost like floating downwards, the speed of your movements not palpable, until...

Impact.

There was no pain. Only a far away realization that I wasn't falling anymore and then... nothing.

Suddenly I stood on my feet again, my head having trouble orientating myself properly after awaiting some sort of crash that, however, never came. Puzzled I glanced around, only noticing the diffuse orange light after some seconds. There was stone around me, raw, with no traces of symbols or engravings. A weird bubbling sound crept into my ears, as if there was water boiling nearby. My look wandered upwards, finding the hole through which I had fallen. The cable was nowhere to be seen. It must have been too high above.

How, then, had I survived the fall? Why was I standing upright on my feet and had not crushed to death? Something must have stopped my fall.

I winced as a loud beeping noise rang through my suit. And suddenly I also understood why it was so hard to breathe. Remembered.

The oxygen was running out.

Ten seconds.

_Beep! – Beep!_

I laughed. It was hard in the thin air, but I couldn't help it. Surviving the fall, only to die anyway. This wasn't fair. It just _wasn't_. I dropped to my knees in defeat, slowly screwing the helmet open. It was instinct. Just this small wish to not die inside a glass dome around my head. It didn't matter, I'd suffocate anyway. And I wanted to have a clear sight. Just for the last moments of my own mental wellbeing.

Another thought that made me laugh a little. The helmet dropped to the ground.

This was it.

I took one last breath and...

Wait... Did I just _breathe_? Completely baffled I tried it again and sucked in some air, oxygen. Maybe a little thin and too hot to be comfortable, but still... How was that even possible? The sensor the Master had with him had clearly shown no signs of it. And yet...

The Master!

I shot to my feet and scrambled for the communicator.

"Jump!" I shouted into it an hastily rambled on. "You can breathe down here! There's got to be... I don't know what. I survived the fall. There's got to be some gravity bubble or whatever. Don't even have a scratch and it was damn deep."

My heart thudded excitedly in my chest from the good news, then, after some seconds passed, because of fear. I paced up and down, away from the hole. A minute passed.

Two.

Again I raised the com, barely daring to speak.

"Are you..." I gulped, afraid to finish the question. It drove me mad that there was no answer. Hadn't he said... Had it been a lie? _No, no, no, no!_ I stopped dead in my tracks, glaring at the communicator. Sweat dropped down from my forehead, from the heat and from my fear. Time seemed to stand almost completely still while I raised the device to my mouth again. "You said you'd survive longer than I." My choking voice was barely a whisper.

Silence.

It hadn't even been so long! There was no way... "Dammit, _answer_!" I pleaded. "I swear, if you lied to me... I... I..."

My hand lowered. Tears burned in my eyes, unable to fall. Suddenly everything crushed over me like a wave. The past days, the beast in my head, the elevator, the fall, the heat... and now the missing answer. _Shit!_ This was too much. I couldn't breathe anymore. It was so hot, my stomach cramped and I slid down the stone wall, sobbing out all the tension. _Fuck!_ It couldn't be true! It wasn't possible! It was a cruel joke, nothing more. I was dreaming, trapped in a nightmare.

Trapped in _hell_.

I wrapped my arms over my head, buried it between my knees and trembled. This was it. This was hell. Heat and fire all around, the squelching bubbling sounds from afar, nightmare after nightmare, chained to a mockery of reality. Chains... I actually heard them, rattling nearby, scraping against glowing stones, scorched black by fire and...

"This is no place to sleep, seriously."

My head shot up, the sudden movement making me dizzy. My mouth dropped open in disbelieve at what I saw... whom. There he stood, just about to take his helmet off. I hadn't heard a thing over the bubbling noise. Or was it just another part of my nightmare? Some weird trick of the devil...

The Master tossed the helmet aside and turned around himself to get a look at our surroundings. Clumsily I got to my feet and trod closer. He looked at me in puzzlement, observing my wide eyes, not moving a muscle when I tapped against his chest with a finger.

"You're... real?"

"'Cause I am. What're you rambling about again?" he mocked, rolling his eyes in annoyance.

I couldn't help it. It was simply impossible. Before he could even react, I already had my arms flung around his torso, hugging him tight.

"Oi, stop that!" he cried indignantly. "What's gotten into you, you stupid, insufferable..."

A sob shook me and I clung to him even tighter, no matter his words, not caring what he might do to me. My body was shivering, despite the heat and it still felt as if I couldn't breathe, as if the world would collapse at any moment.

"Are you having some sort of panic attack?" the Master finally asked annoyed. "Ugh, it's always the same with you humans. You get into just one moment of a little danger and you break."

Somehow I found my voice again, the words simply tumbling over my lips, "'S not the danger. You didn't answer..."

"Yeah, was busy climbing the cable. Didn't want to jump all the way... just in case. Now stop clinging to me!" He shoved me away, scowling deeply.

"You could have said that!" I accused. "I really thought... Shit. You _scared_ me!"

His brow raised. "Why's that?"

"I... I thought you were... dead."

Another shiver and a sob went through me. The Master poked my head.

"Ah, and now you're sad because I'm not. Seriously, if you want me gone..."

"No!" I choked out, barely able to get a sound out. It was only a whisper. "Don't you dare leaving. I was really worried."

"For... me?" His voice had lost the sarcasm and had taken on a puzzled tone.

I nodded, dropping my head against his chest to hide my face, just standing there for a while with trembling shoulders. The Master pushed his fingers under my chin to make me look up. The surprise in his eyes was honest, as was his confusion. His thumb stroked over my cheek, wiping a tear away I hadn't noticed falling.

"I've done not one good thing to you," he mumbled softly. "You shouldn't cry."

I clenched my teeth to keep the tears at bay, trying to breathe slow and steadily. Somehow I even succeeded and wiped my eyes with a sleeve. Of course it was stupid. Of course he was right. But that didn't change a thing.

The Master glanced down at me, almost uncomfortable looking. Eventually he huffed, ruffled my hair and strode away, leaving it up to me to stay behind or to follow. Not a hard decision. Even though everything inside of me screamed to just sit down, to simply stop, I couldn't. I had come so far, there was no halting now, no time to collapse.

And leaving the Master out of sight frightened me more than anything that might lie ahead.

 _Just a little longer, only a few more steps_ , I told myself, calming my breath.

I wasn't alone in this. He hadn't died. Wordlessly I glared at his back, how he strode through those corridors of stone with a confidence as if nothing here could harm him. Not once did he turn around, not once did he ask if I was still there.

The rattling of chains got louder, as did the bubbling sound of... lava? What else could it be? The orange light and the heat down here made it obvious. And weren't we right in the heart of this planet?

Soon we rounded a corner and with a gaping mouth I found out what had caused the noise; what had been creeping through the darkness of the sanctuary base and had possessed my mind.

There, inside a lake of lava stood a monstrosity as huge as the cave itself, with a horned head, his face contorted in a horrifying grimace. The thick neck chained to the wall, making the beast unable to move far away from its spot. All it could do was scream into the air, to let out a noise that ran like acid through my veins. Compared to this thing we were like ants.

"Bloody hell," the Master let out, then chuckled. "You're an ugly thing."

Carefully I stepped next and a little behind him, halfway hiding, halfway curious, as much terrified as fascinated. The cave shook slightly and a deep laugh reverberated through the stone.

"Ahhh, you found me." The snout of the devilish thing contorted to a snarl, or maybe a laugh. "Welcome to my humble realm."

"Oh, it's indeed cosy," the Master mocked. "Bet you never get cold."

The thing laughed in its deep voice, then pointed a finger at me, chains rattling. "Did your mind change, Time Lord? You brought me the human child again."

I stiffened and peeked up at the Master. The beast truly had a skill to implant fear and doubt into one's mind. Could it be? Had he not struggled against my wish to come along because he knew he might need some sort of... sacrifice?

The Master turned his head to look down at my scared face. Suddenly a hand slipped onto my shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly, before he let go again.

"No. You can't have her."

"Fool!" the devil roared. Fire splashed upwards. "You could have so much power. With me there would be no limits. You think you can rule over time! I can go beyond."

The words sunk in, my heart dropped again. I had refused this power willingly. Because I did not want to lose who I was. And even though he stayed silent for a long time, I knew the Master wasn't considering the offer.

I glanced around the massive cavern, searching for anything to give answers. But all I found were a few urns on sockets, and crudely drawn pictures on the walls.

"Why do you need someone else?" I heard the Master ask, eventually. "Those chains don't look so tough."

"Do you really think," the giant snarled deeply, leaning closer as much as he was able to, "I would still linger in this pit, if I were able to break free on my own?"

"Och, maybe you're just a little daft." The Master shrugged, not at all impressed by the size or the threatening aura. "Let's try again. It might change my opinion. Maybe I'll even let you go." He let those words hung in the hot air, deliberately drawing out the pause. "Why possess another person? Why not just try and break free physically?"

The demon stayed silent, his burning eyes only staring in hate and ancient wrath. A good question indeed. The mind of another one must limit his powers a great deal. The Master turned away and towards me, now also observing the few hints.

"It was easy," the beast spoke hastily, almost as if it wanted to prevent us from looking. "There is an oh so tiny tear in the veils between minds." He pointed a long finger at me. "There is a gap in your barriers I could easily slip into. A gap that should not be."

Confused I blinked at the creature, then at the Master, whose eyes steadily widened in realisation.

"Whoops," he made and grinned impishly at me.

"What? What does that thing mean?"

"Weeeeell... remember when I wanted you to hear the drums?" He waited until I nodded. "I might have used a tiny little bit too much force to get into your head."

I narrowed my brows at him, slightly pursing my lips. Next I scowled at the devil.

"That the reason you possessed me of all people? There are plenty of others upstairs. Could have taken anyone."

He laughed his deep rumble of a laugh, ugly, sharp teeth showing. "I can," he growled amused. "It takes effort. It is difficult with the chains. But, given enough time, I will claim one of them. I already spread a part of me inside their little pets."

I exchanged a glance with the Master. "The Ood?" I asked.

"Might be. Not my problem." He shrugged and turned back to the devil. "Alright. Enough chit-chat. I'm getting bored with you. How do we get back to the surface?"

"Bored?" The beast roared out a thundering laugh. "Oh, poor little child. Are the lessons too easy? Are the purple butterflies in the silver trees so much more fun to watch?"

The Master winced subtly, as if those words rang a bell in him.

"Is it so much more tempting to envision the universe in all its mighty beauty? How it would be to own it all?"

"Pshaw! What do you know? You're chained and useless," the Master spat. "I can get all I want."

"Oh... you never did. So, so young still. In red robes, running through academy corridors. I can see it all."

"Then stop with it. That's all long ago. Nothing to play with for you."

His words sounded... uneasy. I peeked at the Master with curiosity and worry. Did the devil speak of the Time Lord's past? He definitely seemed to have fun, laughing darkly to himself. "I can play with you however much I like. There _is_ no way back. No up, no away. You reached the end. You will stay and die here with me. And I can talk to you, Time Lord. I can speak of all the things you wanted to forget."

The Master glared hatefully at the giant. One quick look darted towards me, vanishing fast. He didn't want me to know, I realised. About who he used to be, about who he was today. And again I remembered that I actually knew nothing at all about this man. Only vague glimpses that barely made sense.

"Don't listen," he murmured towards me.

And the devil laughed.

"She has no choice! You're here, at my mercy. Both of you." He let out a devilish laugh. "Yes, my body might be chained and useless. But my words... oh my words always were what frightened all of you so much. Little, well-picked truths at the right time."

The Master snorted, gritting his teeth. His eyes shot back upwards, challenging the beast. "Might be. What do I care? I won't listen."

"The little one might, though. With all that urge inside her, to find knowledge, to seek what is true and real. But there is no such thing. Reality is the biggest illusion and she knows it, am I right?"

I tried to ignore the words and just shrugged, crossing my arms over my chest.

"You know there is no place for you. Nowhere in all of time and space. Too similar, yet too different to your own kind. No one will ever understand. They don't want to. Why bother with you when there are so many other people that aren't foreign to what they already know?"

I smiled grimly, leaning against a stalagmite. There was nothing he could say that I didn't know already. Nothing I hadn't mulled over a million times in my own head. _Go on_ , I thought. _Tell me something I have never thought of. Surprise me_.

The devil seemed to sense my thoughts, or maybe just knew them, since he could read our memories so well. His face contorted in satisfaction.

"And now you cling to whomever pays you any attention. Like a chick to a hen. You think he could be a friend. An ally. Two outcasts, bound together." Okay, maybe there were _some_ things I hadn't thought about thoroughly, yet. I quickly tossed an uncomfortable glance at the Master, but he didn't even look my way, busy with the images on the walls. "What do you hope to gain, little one? He counts much more years than you will ever reach. You are nothing alike."

The words stung. I knew they shouldn't, knew they were meant to do exactly that. They still hurt.

"My, what are you a bully," the Master mocked, peeking at the devil from behind one of the urn sockets. "You really wanna go on talking until we die? Spare your breath, or you'll get bored fast." He chuckled and tossed a grin at me, even winking, as if he thought he had made a great joke.

I couldn't help the small smile tugging on my lips. He obviously had listened, but didn't seem to care at all.

"Bored? I don't think so. You're so weak and pathetic, you will break long before your bodies die. You will sit there, squirming in agony." It was a dark promise. "Go on. Resist me. I have all the time. And I'm not ever feeling alone. Not like your wretched kinds. Running around, always searching for other souls not to be lonely. All the stolen glances. All the times you took his hand and he did not notice? The stolen kisses that were only fun, only for exploring. Because you knew he would always be running, always be one step ahead, in his mind... with his hearts."

"Just shut up!" the Master shouted suddenly, hands clenched to fists. "You have _no_ rights to scramble through my memories! Yu have no _idea_ what you're talking about!"

"Don't I?" The devil leaned down, his face almost at our eyelevel, face scrunched up to a dangerous snarly grin. "Oh, so alone. I see your hearts, little Koschei. Aching, bleeding, hating... and loving so deeply."

What I saw surprised me. The Master didn't move, didn't speak. Only his fists trembled slightly. In the face of this thing he found himself powerless, unable to prevent it from dissecting his memories, unable to even punch the hideous creature.

"Bully someone your own size!" I called out, almost freezing as those huge, evil eyes focussed on me. Slowly I grinned, drawing out my moment. "Or... should I accidentally drop one of those urns, maybe?"

 _"NO!"_ It roared with all his might, tearing at the chain. Fire raised almost up to his waist.

The Master looked at me, puzzled, his gaze wandered over the pictures on the walls, then over the urns. His eyes widened as he understood.

"Not so useless now, am I?" I asked mockingly, returning his spreading grin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I always wondered if the Doctor survived the fall because of his Time Lord body, or because it wasn't that deep in the end... or, since there was oxygen down there, there might also have been some whatever to stop the fall.
> 
> Also, yes, I totally went there... If you squint hard enough at what the devil tells the Master. *snickers*
> 
> And then there's the fact that it never made much sense to me, why the devil possessed only Toby. (Probably only because the actor looked so creepy with red eyes and all the tattoos, lol.) So I came up with something else...


	32. Part IV (XII)

The Master grinned at me, almost proudly, and my heart did some weird little jump.

The nasty words from the beast meant nothing. Maybe I _was_ clinging to whomever paid me attention, but was that really wrong?

"Well..." The Master thumbed behind him at the devil, as if it was only some random bystander. "If the old thing there bothers us too much, we can at least get rid of it."

The beast roared in his chains. No, it was more like a desperate howl. "You can't! The planet would lose its orbit and fall into the hole!"

"Yeah... that's indeed a pity," the Master drawled uninterested. "Everyone out there would soooo miss this ugly rock." He gave me a cheeky wink. "Let's wait for a bit. As I know our annoying Doctor he'll come up with something to get us back to the surface. And it will be so stupid it actually works."

Surprisingly the devil stayed silent after that. All truths or lies didn't help him now. No matter what he did, we always had the option to simply leave. One way or the other.

The Master continued to study the images and the untranslatable letters on the stone walls. There wasn't much to see, actually, but the images were clear enough, even without understanding the text. Deciphering the message hadn't been hard... if it weren't for the constant distraction the beast had used.

What a clever tactic. For most people it would have worked.

At some point I undressed the space suit, feeling way too hot inside the thing. And since we could breath here anyway, it wasn't worth the risk of having my circulation collapse on me. Heat had never been my favourite temperature.

I wondered how long we would have to wait. And for what exactly. The Master's trust in the Doctor was weird, but then again it seemed as if they had fought each other often enough to know the other Time Lord somehow always emerged with something to gain the upper hand. Like it was an ancient game. One building traps, the other one developing unforeseeable ways to get around them.

The beast paced up and down inside the lava, slowly drawing circles within his tiny realm. Trapped here for centuries he surely must already have gone mad from boredom. For a while I watched, wondering what exactly he might be.

"Are you?" I muttered eventually, sitting down on a rock near the lava.

The beast stopped and his dark eyes wandered over me.

"The devil, I mean," I elaborated. "The true one."

"I am," he simply stated. "Whatever your planet holds true as evil, I am."

Puzzled I blinked, tilting my head. "I don't think I get it," was all I admitted. "How can you be, when they have trapped you here 'before time'?"

The beast only chuckled in his low voice, continuing to pace. He truly seemed afraid we could destroy the seal. So, fear was something he was able to feel. Or maybe just an abstract version of it. It made me wonder if he also had spoken the truth when he had claimed not to ever feel lonely.

He stopped just as the thought had crossed my mind, eyes resting upon me. I swallowed and glared back, feeling less and less uncomfortable doing so. The longer I looked at the horrifying face, the more it lost its horror.

"You can't leave," I concluded. "Destroying the urns would release your body, but would destroy the force field. The moment your body gets freed, you'll be sucked into the black hole." A dark stare was my only answer. "So... you try and escape your mind instead. Implant it into another person, who will then take it away from here. That's the only way to escape, right?"

"Now, that took you long," the Master mocked and stepped next to me. He shook his head with an amused look. "Seriously, why do you pity that thing? You've got nothing to do or what?" He laughed. "Okay, okay, you don't... but still. A monster like that doesn't deserve any compassion."

"A monster like yourself?" the devil growled. "Do you fear being cared for so much?"

The Master snorted, but whatever he had planned to say got interrupted as the whole planet shook. It almost started to feel normal that it did that from time to time. I only wondered what galaxies might be vanishing right now. But the tremors got stronger, much stronger than I had experienced them so far.

Thick, heavy rocks rained from the ceiling, making me jump up and away, searching for a spot to hide, while also trying to keep my balance. Clumsy as I was, this wasn't easy. Somehow I managed to find a corner where I felt safe enough to drop to the ground, making myself as small as possible. Hopefully the Master had found a hiding spot as well, and...

A loud crashing sound tore through the rumbling and collapsing. I heard an outcry and then nothing more.

Eventually the quakes stopped. I dared to lift my head again, finding the cave littered with stones and new rocks. The urns were still intact, as if the seal shielded them from being broken by accident. The Master was nowhere to be found, had probably ran deeper into the tunnels to get safe. I mulled over those urns and why they didn't break. Whoever had caught the beast, I was sure, could have simply killed it. So this was... punishment. Trapping it here, making it endure eternity in loneliness, with no way to ever escape.

Even when everything around was torn to pieces.

I found a breach that hadn't been there before, a hole torn into the walls by the tremors. Only darkness lay behind it and I didn't dare to move inside, afraid the quakes might start again at any moment. Instead my eyes searched for the Master, but could find him nowhere.

"He is alive," the beast said.

I turned towards him, raising an eyebrow. "Why do you reassure me? That's not very evil."

He chuckled slightly and bent down to me. "We might still come to an arrangement. You and I. He doesn't have to know. I won't make myself known until we reached earth or any other populated place."

I swallowed, looking at my shoes. This wasn't a good idea. Although it seemed he couldn't do much besides manipulating people with simple fears and truths. This alone could still topple empires, destroy worlds and burn the entire universe... probably. So simple, yet so effective.

"Let me go, child," the monster spoke almost softly. "I've suffered here for long enough. None of my kind are left, none of those who sealed me away."

The words tugged at my heart. It was indeed cruel what they had forced upon him, but I had no clue what exactly he had done to deserve it. Maybe he truly _was_ the devil. But didn't the stories tell that the devil been an angel, once? And might this also be true for the abomination in front of me?

"Och, don't tell me you're even listening?" the Master mocked. I hurled around, finding him climbing over rocks from the newly created cave. "Your compassion will kill you one day, lil' lumin."

"Shut it," I grumbled. "We don't know every angle to this story. And not everyone who seems evil, is it." I gave him a pointed glare, which only yielded a pitying grin.

"You still think there is something good in me." It was a statement, not a question. The Master shook his head and waved me over. "Let me prove that I'm not. Come, we leave."

"Wh... where to?"

"Wherever we want?" He shrugged and smiled even wider. "Seems like I just found the TARDIS."

My heart did an excited jump and I rushed to his side. "Really? How can that be?"

"Dunno. Might have tried on her own to get back and gotten stuck here. It's right in the cave the quake opened."

I tossed a last glance at the beast, still unsure what to do with it. Could we simply leave it behind? Would it be wiser – or even kinder – to destroy it? Simply leaving felt so utterly... _wrong_.

And in that moment it no longer was my own choice. Suddenly a pressure grew within my head, spreading painfully through my consciousness. I let out a groan and stumbled.

"You are not leaving me here!" the beast screamed, his voice still coming from the body. "Take me away! I won't leave the human!"

The Master blinked at me, then at the creature, his expression dumbfounded for a second before it morphed into a truly devilish grin. All he did was to push one hand to the side.

And one of the urns smashed to the ground, splintering into countless shards.

"No!" the beast roared, it's scream drowning in the tremors that instantly shook the planet.

Casually the Master trod to the next and smashed that one as well. The same with the rest. Why the devil didn't prevent it, I did not know. Maybe, after all this time, it was simply to surreal to actually comprehend. And I wasn't so sure what use that action would be. Had the Master even thought about this? Now the monster was practically _forced_ to either come along or die.

But, as it turned out, he knew extremely well what he had done.

"Well... good bye then." The Master wriggled his fingers and simply strode away without looking back even once.

It was then that it dawned on me - the simple, painful truth, the solution to every presented problem, to the question what would happen to the beast and how it could be prevented from escaping.

The Master was leaving me behind.

It was as simple as that. I would stay and die with the devil, vanish into the black maw above our heads; a vessel to keep the creature from being set free. A simple sacrifice.

My body was completely frozen. My thoughts went numb. Not even the beast seemed to have something to say to that. Evil... indeed, the Master was. Not bothering about anyone but himself, tossing me away like an old broken toy.

Again. It was happening again. Me being so unimportant that he didn't even consider helping me for a mere second. Tears prickled in the corners of my eyes as his back vanished into the darkness of the cave.

At some point I realised I could move again and simply sat on one of the stones, listening to the rumbles and creaking of the dying planet.

It shouldn't hurt. We barely knew one another. There was nothing connecting us, not even companionship. How could it? How could one, counting almost a millennia in age, feel any kinship to a feeble, ephemeral thing like myself?

"You know what?" I mumbled towards the beast. "At least I'm doing something good. Thanks to me you won't be let loose on the universe."

The devil stayed silent.

I huffed. "Nothing to say anymore, he? Yeah, I don't know why I'm talking, either. Got a bad habit these past days." The enormous creature glared at me, this time not even with hate or contempt. His look was as empty as I felt. "Dammit," I mumbled, ruffling my hair. "I don't care about dying. Still not. But it's freakin' frustrating to be treated like that!"

Once, only once in my useless existence did I want to feel important. To anyone. For anything. Why was fate so cruel? Why were people even born, who belonged nowhere and to no one? It made me desperate, angry even. All the frustration bubbled to the surface of my being, made its way inside my mind and spread there like a virus.

I would not accept this fate!

I shot to my feet, treading to the edge of the lava lake. "You know what? Screw you! I don't care what and who you are. I'm _not_ going to be swallowed because of you! I'm not going to vanish! _And I don't fucking want you inside my head!_ " The last words were as much a scream as an outcry.

The planet shook. Surprised I stumbled, one foot hanging over the bubbling hot fire below. With swinging arms I tried to get back my balance, but already sensed the lost battle. Time stood still for a moment, my eyes closed. In the end my wished did not matter... again. The heat of the lava licked at my shoes, not yet reaching them. Not yet...

Something thudded against my chest, forcefully throwing me backwards and onto the ground. Confused and a little dizzy from the blow I heaved myself to the elbows, then to my feet, stumbling away from the pit. My mind felt so light. Something was missing, had... left.

I lifted my head to the devil, still finding no expression on his monstrous face. But his presence was gone. I couldn't feel him in my mind any longer, not even lingering.

Hesitantly I turned around, cast one last glance back and then ran to the TARDIS as fast as my feet would carry me.


	33. Part IV (XIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some things might never be answered. 😋 I enjoyed how the episode left some gnawing questuons open, so I decided to be just as nasty. *giggles*  
> Anyway... Thanks for your support! I'm super happy that people enjoy this so much! 💙💙💙

There she stood, blue and covered in dust and dirt, but definitely there and real. The TARDIS.

I ran towards it and tore the door open, surprised to find it unlocked. Hastily I stumbled inside, my side hurting from the run. I pressed a hand against it, panting to get in enough oxygen. Finally some air that wasn't so hot that it nearly burned my lungs.

"Don't... leave," I got out between breaths. "It's gone. Not in my head anymore. Just left."

I wiped some sweat from my forehead, slowly cooling down, thanks to the immensely nicer temperatures inside here. It was so quiet. Only the engines hummed as usual. The Master didn't say a word, only stood there, leaned against the control table with folded arms. His space suit lay neatly folded next to him. He even had brought his hair back in order.

Had he waited there like that the whole time? Why hadn't he gotten away already? His look was almost dissecting me before he approached to lay his hands on my head. The familiar tingling of his mind slipping into mine only lasted for some seconds, then an almost soft smile turned his lips upwards.

"Good. You did it."

I blinked at him, almost too confused to answer.

"I... haven't," I mumbled, remembering what had happened just minutes ago. "It just left me." I shook my head, tossing a glance at the closed doors, to where the beast still lingered. Could it be? "I think," I mumbled, "he _let_ me go."

"Bollocks. Now stop looking at me like a retard and help me with the lock. Remember? I can't get rid of it, alone."

"The... lock?" I mumbled, having trouble to process the situation. "You... didn't leave me? You wanted to get me angry... so I would..."

"Sometimes you're really a little slow." He shook his head, but smiled. "Had _I_ tossed it out of your head, it could have simply slipped back in without any effort," the Master went on. "Had to be yourself to deny him."

Dumbfounded my mouth dropped open. Why couldn't he have said so? Why did he just walk away, risking that I might give up? There hadn't been much left and I would have.

"C'mon. Lock. Or you wanna get swallowed, at last?"

Then I remembered. There was a lock in place, so the Master couldn't simply steal the TARDIS. For anyone but the Doctor it needed two consensual people to unlock the controls. It still seemed like a bad idea to give him that access, but otherwise we both would die here.

"O... okay, right. What do I have to do?"

The Master held out his hand and after a moment of hesitation I took it. He lead me to the controls and started to press some buttons, never letting go of me. He instructed me to push and pull a few things on my own, until the ship sprang to life and he finally released his hold on me.

"That's... it?" I asked dumbfounded.

"Yup. It's not a complicated lock, only effective." He fiddled with a loose screw and tossed a side-glance at me. "So, where do you want to go?"

"Huh? What do you mean? Shouldn't we..."

"Exactly what I said, idiot." He laughed. "C'mon. Pick something."

It dawned on me. Of course, why wouldn't he? "You're going to leave the Doctor here, aren't you?"

A short hint of anger crossed his face and he tossed the screw away. He fully turned to me, his face showing a weirdly unfamiliar honesty. Even his words lacked any venom. "Would you rescue someone if that meant to be a prisoner for the rest of your life?"

_No! No I would not!_

My mouth opened to let out those words, but quickly closed again. There had to be another way.

"Don't you think... the Doctor will let you go for saving him?"

"Sure... if he hadn't a few thousand more reasons not to." He grimaced.

"So... what you're saying is that he's right to keep you away from the universe?" All I got was a mockingly raised eyebrow and I sighed. "'Kay... you know that and still keep going."

"I'm not going to change who I am." The Master shrugged. "And the Doctor knows it. Doesn't matter what I'd tell, he'd know it's a lie." He shifted from one foot to the other, crossing his arms. "So, what happens to him is up to you."

It took me a few seconds until the words sunk in.

"Wha... hey! You can't force that upon me!"

"Oh? I think I very well can. Say a word and I'll get him. Everything'll stay as it was. Say nothing and we'll leave, free to roam, no one to hold us back." He grinned charmingly. "Easy decision, isn't it? And by the way." He thumped at the doors. "The planet is still collapsing. The TARDIS shields us from the quakes, but it's still all going to hell, out there."

Time pressure. Great. Uneasily I worried my bottom lip, fidgeting with my fingers. This was bad, really bad. My head was so overloaded already, all my thoughts clouded and too slow. Saving one life, condemning a person to imprisonment... forever? Letting the Doctor die, leaving a man behind I didn't even know, who hadn't treated me too well... but for the price of what? What would the Master do with his freedom?

I couldn't know, there was no time to think. I pinched my eyes shut and rubbed the bridge of my nose. Why would he let me make that decision? The answer, to him, seemed to be obvious. So why did he risk...

Tiredly I let out a snort and shook my head. "You're playing with me, again. You wouldn't leave him behind, would you? Not that I'd understand the reasons..."

The Master's eyes twinkled in amusement. All he did was press one small button right next to him and the ship sprang to life, rattling and rumbling, wheezing and groaning.

"I already sent a signal through the base. I know where they're located. Go on. Open the door."

I straightened and rushed over, doing as he had said. Right then the Doctor rounded a corner, his hastened gaze turning into surprise and joy at the sight of the blue box. He sprinted towards us, Danny and Zach in tow.

"Oh, you two wonderful... How'd you find her?" he exclaimed. "Brilliant!"

He ran ahead, stumbling through the doors, and the same moment he had past the threshold, the TARDIS groaned again, the door slammed shut and everything shook, sending me and the Doctor lurching to the ground. Only after some time did the ship calm down and let us stand up again.

The Doctor was on his feet in an instant, fury and disbelieve on his face. "What have you _done_?!" he shouted. "Get her right back, this second! We have to get the others!"

"Nope," the Master answered nonchalantly, popping the 'p' with a smile.

The Doctor pushed the other Time Lord out of the way, frantically pulling levers and pushing buttons.

"This devil," the Master drawled, sounding almost bored. "It eats itself into the minds of people. Lucy tossed him out, so he probably already went to search for a new host. And he is... _very_... good at hiding."

"So _what_?!" the Doctor almost screamed. "We get them on board. At some distance the thing will snap back into his own body."

"It... won't," I quietly told.

The Doctor halted in his movements, turning to face me. There was an anger in his eyes I hadn't thought possible. A cold shiver slithered down my spine. This man could be dangerous, despite the usually so bubbly facade.

"See? That's why it's not good that you're here," he scolded. "You're too much like him!" At that he pointed at the Master. "How can you just stand there and be okay with letting all those people _die_?!"

Like him? He couldn't really mean that, could he? I was too exhausted to really react much any longer. In other situations I would have gotten scared at being scolded like this, but now I was too numb to really respond emotionally. So I reverted to simple facts.

"That devil, or whatever it is, has the potential to threaten the entire universe," I mumbled. "If it gets away, that is. His body was sealed in the belly of the planet. We just destroyed the seal, so it lost its orbit. Everything will be sucked into the black hole."

"More reason to get them-"

"No!" the Master interrupted, grabbing the other one's wrist. "You still don't get it, Doctor," he spat. "This is not about me and you, not about saving some apes."

"Let... go!" he shouted, trying to struggle his hand free. "It was such a... _bad_... idea to free you of the cuffs!"

"Maybe," the Master held tighter, now grabbing the other wrist as well, stepping on the other Time Lord's feet to make him stand still. "But just this once you will listen to _me_!"

"Oh no, I won't! This madness ends here!" The Doctor shot his head forward, connecting it with the Master's with a painful sounding thud. The other one stumbled backwards, releasing his hold. The Doctor caught himself, hurled around. "Whatever sadistic satisfaction you think to get from this-"

"Doctor, listen," I tried to interfere. "The body will _die_ in the black hole! If we get the crew on board, there is no way to tell if one of them is possessed."

"We'll test it!"

"And then what?" the Master growled, rubbing his head. "I fought that thing. It's so bloody strong you wouldn't believe it for a second! That monster could easily slip past any control."

"As if!" the Doctor whined, slowly deflating as he seemed to get aware of his dwindling options. "I can't," he almost pleaded. "I can't just let them all die."

"Oh, is that so?" Anger contorted the Master's face. He was back in front of the Doctor, grabbed his suit and tore him in front of his face. "You claim the right to hold _me_ here. Because what? Because you think I would only run around, murder everything I come across?"

The Doctor gritted his teeth, but didn't struggle. "Each time we meet you prove that thought to be right."

For the fraction of a second the Master's features softened, got almost sad, but quickly returned to a contempt scowl. "You know so little of me," he snarled. "But oh, look! You're the Doctor! So wise and so powerful! You lock one monster away, because it could harm a bunch of no-names." Angrily he tightened his grip on the other one's collar. "Yet you would free another monster, one that might devour the entire universe as we know it, only because some _humans_ would die otherwise!"

"We can't know that," the Doctor whimpered pleadingly. "I..."

"You're a shame for all Time Lords!" the Master pushed the other man away, forcefully enough to let him crash against the console. "We ought to stand above them! They don't matter!"

The Doctor caught himself, turned around and let out a heavy breath, his hand wiping over his face. "As if you'd care about the universe."

"Sure do. Can't own what isn't there anymore."

The Doctor snorted derisively, then slowly lifted his head to glance at me. "See now?" he mumbled. "Look at what you've gotten yourself into. Listen closely and then tell me again you want to stay."

I gaped at him, not getting a word out. My eyes darted back and forth between the two Time Lords. Slowly I felt panic arise in me. This was all wrong! It was all too much. I couldn't think clear anymore. I didn't even understand the problem all too well.

"I get that you want to save them... but..." I took some breaths, trying to calm myself. Why were the lights so bright? Why did this ship had to hum so loud? "A few lives lost to save so many more..." I blinked and rubbed my eyes with two fingers. "Isn't that the lesser evil?"

Get rid of one person, to make the lives of two more better. Wasn't it the same? Had that wish been so bad? I felt sick, every beam of light seemingly burning directly into my brain. The jump seat was right behind me, so I dropped into it, squinting my eyes shut.

The Master snickered. "You can't argue against logic, Doctor."

"I bloody well _can_!"

Even their voices were amplified a hundred times. There was a huge urge to cover my ears and just hide in some dark corner. I groaned silently, holding my head. I heard them fight, but didn't quite understand their words, everything rushing over me, every light, sound, smell. I was so tired, my head hurt.

There was a hand gently placed on my shoulder, but the mere touch let me jolt up, almost falling from the seat as my vision blurred and my head spun.

"That was all a bit much, wasn't it?" the Doctor asked, his face a little worried.

I slapped his hand away. "What do you care?" I growled.

He seemed to be taken aback by this, his eyes widening in almost horror. His hands clenched to fists, opened and clenched again. The Master had left. There were only the two of us, the noises, the lights...

"I'm... sorry," he muttered. "It's all been so much, those past years. With him, you know?"

I snorted. "Doesn't excuse being such a dick to me."

He shook his head an dropped to his haunches in front of me. "No. No, it's not. I'm not quite myself anymore. That's why I wanted you to stay away." There was a pause, he licked his lips. "Among other things."

"Because I don't get emotional over people I don't even know?" I moaned quietly, rubbing my eyes. "I'm too tired for this morality crap. There is no logic at all behind it."

"There's more to life than only logic, Lucy," he answered softly. "But yeah, you don't seem to be in a shape for this. Looks like some heavy sensory overstimulation."

I glanced up, actually surprised, and nodded. "It's like my brain can't handle any input anymore. Any at all."

"Yeah." The Doctor's eyes were lost in thoughts. "A human brain is like big bucket, not easy to fill up with sensory input. But yours..."

I grumbled. "Thanks. I know I'm broken. No need to remind me."

"Oh no, not broken." He tossed me a grin. "But where others have a bucket, you autistic folks have only a cup. Gets full way too fast. Can't take in any sensory stimuli anymore. Just... blows your head like a bubble!" His hands gestured something popping, his smile clearly indicating how fascinating he found all of this.

I didn't. Not at all. "Will be over in a bit," I mumbled. "Just... need somewhere dark and quiet. Maybe sleep."

"Right!" The Doctor shot to his feet and offered a hand. "Let's ask the TARDIS for a room for you. Somewhere you can sleep and retreat when things get too much. Does that sound good?"

Slowly I nodded and picked myself from the jump seat, ignoring the offered hand. A glance around confirmed that we were, indeed, alone. "Where did the Master go?"

The Doctor dropped his hand – and the smile. "No idea. He can't go anywhere in here where he could do harm, though."

The emphasis on this made me think that there had been quite some incidences where he had caused havoc inside the ship. For some reason it made me smile. I could almost imagine him throwing some childish fit, smashing stuff and all that. But there also were other images. Of the Master raging around in an terrifying fury, no longer in control of himself. Both versions seemed plausible, but I didn't have the energy to think about it any further.

Instead I simply trod after the Doctor, followed him to the corridors, where the TARDIS let a new door appear. An old wooden one, smelling of autumn. When I opened it, I was greeted with the cosy atmosphere of a simple room. There was a bed, only big enough for myself, with coffee brown sheets. A wardrobe, a table with a chair, some filled bookshelves. Everything made out of dark wood, giving the whole room the atmosphere of some cabin. The lights were dim and slightly orange, soothing to my strained eyes.

"This is... perfect." I smiled, warmth spreading in my chest at the sight. "Is that really... can I really stay here?"

The Doctor sighed, but returned the smile. "I'm still against it." A toothy grin followed. "But I promised to let you come along, so that's what I'm doing. And I have the feeling the Master would abduct you again, anyway, would I not."

I chuckled weekly and poked out the tongue at him. "I certainly hope so."


	34. Part V - A night's rest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did someone say fluff? 👀

It was maybe an hour of sleep I managed to catch. After that I only tossed and turned around in the sheets. The bed was comfy, perfectly so. A soft scent of wood hung in the air and through the fake window dropped a ray of pale moonlight. Outside was the scenery of a tranquil pine forest. White heaps of freshly fallen snow blanketed the ground, glittering in the starlight.

Eventually I sat up, lifted myself to the knees, arms resting on the windowsill. For a while I glared outside, admiring the view, wondering how it could look so real and still be fake. It had to. There was no chance that this scenery was real. How could it, inside this ship?

The only things missing, right now, were a cup of hot chocolate and a crackling fireplace.

Well, and my ability to sleep.

Despite my exhaustion and the overwhelming amount of events, rest would not come. My mind circled through everything that had happened, over and over again, trying to make sense of it, trying to comprehend the incomprehensible. Everything had burned itself into my memories, like a video on loop. That everything had simply stopped so abruptly didn't make it better.

One moment we had stood in hell, deep within the belly of a dying planet, about to get sucked into a black hole to vanish forever. The next moment there had been the TARDIS. We had stepped out of the place, as if it hadn't even been real, had left it behind to be destroyed, had simply walked away, like gods, who were only watchers of the chaos beneath their feet.

I sighed and dropped the face to my folded arms, head slightly leaning against the cold glass. If only I could sleep and let my brain sort through all the unnecessary stuff, while I wasn't conscious of the process.

Tiredly I rubbed my burning eyes and clambered out of bed, fumbling around on the nightstand to find my specs. It was almost a miracle they had survived everything; not even bent or scratched. I had cleaned them thoroughly after I had taken a long shower with almost cold water, to get the heat from me; to not longer feel as if I were stranded in hell.

I shook my head and sauntered to the door. The corridor outside was lit as usual, reminding me that there was no real night in here. My room only simulated it. Who knew where we were, right now. It could be any time of the day, we could simply be hovering in space. The last thought made me smile. It would be cool to sleep in space.

Well... _If_ I could, that is.

Instead I stood in those corridors, not really knowing where to actually go. Maybe some hot chocolate really was a good idea. Or I could get to the library... Well, for books I could also return to my room, although I hadn't taken a closer look at the contents of the shelves, yet. Or maybe to the control room. The little rest I had been enough to calm my overloaded brain. No doubt, it wouldn't take much to get back into that state, but for now I felt kind of okay.

I sighed, cursing myself. Who was I even kidding? I knew exactly where I wanted to go. Or better, to whom.

"Hey," I muttered and waited for the TARDIS to respond in her usual (?) way. A short electric hum, a soft nudge of a vibration near me. I smiled, already feeling a certain fondness for the ship. "Thanks for the nice room, by the way." Another hum, a tingling, feeling... questioningly? "It's perfect," I reassured. "I'm just too antsy to get some proper rest. So... I was wondering if you could..."

A line of glowing golden dots appeared in front of my feet, bending around a corner. The next nudge felt almost playful. There were only two options: Either the TARDIS had sensed, where I wanted to go, or she had something else in mind that she thought might help me. Whatever it was, I was willing to be surprised and followed the line.

It ended in front of a simple grey door. Nothing special about it. Slowly I rose my hand, hesitating for a moment, before my knuckles connected with the wood. Once, twice.

"Sod off, Doctor!" came a muffled reply from inside.

"It's not him," I answered, maybe a bit too quietly.

There was no reply, but some seconds later the door opened a little, then fully. The Master let a puzzled look wander over me and I suddenly remembered that I was only wearing some short, grey sleeping pants and a thin, dark-red jumper. I hadn't even put on shoes and had been wandering around in only socks. Whereas the Master was, as always, dressed nicely, albeit comfortably, for once; in dark jeans and a black polo shirt. Also in socks, I noticed with some silly satisfaction.

"What do _you_ want here?" he asked, his tone matching his puzzled look. "Thought you'd be sleeping for some more hours."

"You and me, both." I let out a sigh and fidgeted with my hands, now nervous and feeling stupid for coming here. "Just... can't sleep, is all."

"Can't help you with that."

"I know," I mumbled.

His brows shot up. "Did the TARDIS bring you again? Bloody ship really needs to let me have my privacy." His sigh was overly dramatic. "Go and annoy the Doctor, yeah?"

I scrunched up my nose, not feeling a particular urge to see him. Sure, he had apologized and all, but still... And besides...

"He wasn't... _there_ ," I mumbled, looking to the side.

The Master snorted, obviously getting what I was talking about. "I'm not your therapist. If you wanna whine around-"

"No!" I let out, eyes snapping upwards. Quieter I added, "No... So much happened. I'm not sure how to process all of it. I... I don't know myself. I don't want to be alone, I guess... Can't really place it, honestly."

A short smile whizzed over his face and he slightly shook his head. "You can't stand to have your thoughts be your only company and it's enough to have someone nearby who knows what you went through," he calmly concluded, neatly wrapping up my confusing cloud of thoughts into words.

I opened my mouth, but closed it again and only nodded.

"Fine, come in." The Master stepped back to let me enter. "But stay quiet and don't bug me."

The door closed behind me and I followed the Master a few steps into the room. It was surprisingly small. Where usually would have been windows, the walls were lined with book shelves, of which not few held other items of various kinds. Gadgets, crystals, figurines and other things I couldn't name. Books were there, too, in all sizes and colours. Under one heavily loaded rack sat a wide bed, with dark bluish-grey sheets. At the other wall stood a table that was littered with all sorts of technical parts, screws and tools. The third wall had a sofa leaned against it, also black in colour, decorated by even more books. In front of it stood a small round table and on that one only sat an empty mug.

"Would have awaited something more... pompous," I confessed.

"Tried that already. Had a floor made of gold, silken bed-sheets, mahogany wood and heshlera stone..." He shrugged and flopped down into a comfy chair in front of the table. "Gets boring fast. It's not useful."

There were _two_ chairs. Both black, both padded and big enough to sit in them cross-legged. Maybe the Doctor came here sometimes to chat. Or to try at least. I sat down in it, drawing my knees up to the chin, watching the Master tinker about.

He was building something, but what was a mystery. There were so many tiny screws and thin wires, his hands moved fast and precise, putting one part after the other together. This truly was almost mesmerizing to watch.

After some minutes of silence the Master picked up some tiny parts and sat them in front of me, handing me a thin screwdriver and some other filigree tools. He then took several of the parts and put them together to a tiny construct, setting that one also in front of me.

Puzzled I glared at the remaining parts and the tools, then at the Master, who didn't pay me any attention any longer. Carefully I picked up the finished thing and observed it closely. Delicate, but not that hard, actually. The parts in front of me were enough to build roughly ten more of those, so I started to do exactly that.

When the first one was finished, the Master picked it up and observed the result from all sides. "Good fine-motor skills," he commented. "You're not so useless, after all."

I let out a snort and continued with the next one. We worked in silence for who knows how long. Each of the parts I finished found its place inside the construct the Master was putting together. When there was nothing else to do, I simply watched, fascinated and curious. Somehow it didn't feel weird that we weren't speaking at all. Even though there were so many questions left, this wasn't the time to find answers to them. They could wait. We had time.

"Go to bed."

I shot up in my seat and blinked at the Master's amused face. He held out a screwdriver and poked its tip against my forehead, grinning mischievously.

"You're such a child." I giggled and swiped the screwdriver away.

He poked out his tongue and continued with his device until I nodded away once again. This time a small screw was tossed against my head, startling me so much, I almost fell from the chair.

"Your ability to sleep obviously has returned," the Master remarked. "Great moment in time to get lost, don't you think?"

Groggily I squinted my eyes at him, lips pursed in a silent protest. "Don't wanna," I muttered. "Bet as soon as I hit the pillow I'm wide awake again."

"Not my problem."

"'m not even bothering you," I grumbled. "Just lemme watch. Keeps me from thinking."

"You're distracting."

Distracting? How the hell was I distracting? I didn't even do anything! Or was this because of his ego again?

"'cause am not scared enough of you to stay wide awake?" I mocked.

The only answer was a slightly distorted grin, somewhere between amused and disgusted. "I'm getting too many funny ideas how to wake you."

Tiredly I giggled to myself, but then got serious again and slightly shook my head. "Have your fun. I'm not sure sleep is so good right now."

"Why?" One eyebrow shot up. "Scared of the nightmares?"

"Huh? No..." I looked away. "There weren't any. None I can remember, that is. It's just so... Ugh... I don't know." Why does it always have to be so hard for me to name what I'm feeling? It's like I don't even know it myself. Or rather, it is that I can't clad it into words another person would understand. "Don't wanna be alone, right now," I mumbled noncommittally.

There was silence for a few minutes. Again I slipped away, only getting aware of it when the Master's voice tore through the fog of my mind.

"You really jumped."

I blinked my heavy eyelids open, needing a bit to understand what he was referring to. Then it clicked.

"Oh, the pit. Yeah..." I shrugged.

"Why?"

"You... know why," I mumbled dumbfounded. "Oxygen was run-"

"No." He shook his head, making an almost dramatic pause. His next words were punctuated to give them each more weight. "Why did you _jump_?"

Somehow I understood what he meant, somehow I didn't. The answer was as obvious as it was complicated and, again, there was my annoying lack in capability of putting things into actual words. How even? There were so many thoughts and images and...

"Hm..." I made, peeking up at him. "Guess... I just hate not having the last word? My... whole life there were always others deciding what would be best for me, what was right and appropriate. No one ever asked if that was what _I_ wanted. In so many regards. It... it's just..."

"Claiming control in the very last moment."

Slowly I nodded, unable to give a more fitting explanation.

"And now it haunts you," the Master continued calmly. "Because twice you decided to die. And twice did it not bring you to an end, but far beyond what you could imagine."

I simply glared at him, slightly open mouthed. "Are you reading my thoughts or so?"

He chuckled. "No. A simple deduction."

Again there was silence, although, this time, I didn't nod away.

"Would... _you_ have jumped?" I eventually dared to ask.

The Master glanced up from his device, eyes resting on me. He seemed so calm the whole evening, focused. And the effect seemed to increase over time. Maybe it was the work that helped him to... to what? Drown out those drums maybe?

Another question, for another time.

"No," he answered late. "I wouldn't have."

The Master sat the small device on the table and rubbed the bridge of his nose. There were so many parts left on the table, finishing this thing would probably take some more hours. He observed the current result for a bit, then lowered it and looked at me, his features not telling a thing about his thoughts.

"See? That's why you're distracting." Eventually he nodded to the side and pointed at the bed. "Stop pestering me and go to sleep."

"H... here?"

He shrugged and picked up the next part, holding it close under his eyes. "Wasn't planning to sleep myself, anyway. And if you end up having nightmares..." A sly grin spread his lips. "I can peek into your head and twist them even more."

"Bugger," I grumbled, but smiled.

I didn't protest, however. Like this I wouldn't be on my own and the bed was positioned neatly enough so I could continue watching him, even if it all would be quite blurry without my specs. I put them on the night stand and slipped under the covers, shoving the pillows away. (I could never sleep with those, no matter how often I tried.)

It was strange to lie there like that, the sheets wearing his smell, knowing he was there, aware of my presence. He could so easily throw me out, yet didn't. And then there was his downright uncanny ability to put into words what I couldn't. As if he would know me so well.

Or rather... as if he had been through those things himself, often enough to know what effects they had on a person. What effects they had on himself. But for him there was no one he could turn to, no one to seek some wordless comfort.

Would the Doctor offer some? Or was their relationship so bad that he would deny it to the Master? I still couldn't place what they were to one another. Enemies and friends at the same time. Allies and rivals. Always one step ahead of the other one, playing an eternal game, gambling for lives.

It was confusing. It was quiet and warm and comfortable. There was no fire anymore, no devils and black holes. Only dim lights, the sounds of tinkering, the smell of bed sheets. And the soothing darkness that finally claimed my tied mind.


	35. Part V (II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The world is going crazy again. We'll probably get a total lockdown in two or three days, lasting into almost mid January. I'm not yet sure if my workplace will be affected by that, but I'd have some holidays in a week anyway, so whatevs xD
> 
> Keep your heads up over the long, dark winter months. The light will return soon and days will get longer again. Keep that in mind. :3

I did have nightmares.

But as soon as I snapped out of my sleep, the content of the last dream was forgotten. All I could vaguely remember was that it had disturbed me a great deal. My breath was still heavy, heartbeat thudding fast against my ribs. I tried to get the images back, wanted to know what had scared me so much, but all effort was in vain.

Only then did I feel the fingers that lightly rested on my temple. Through hooded lids I made out the blurry shape of the Master. He was at my eyelevel, squatting in front of the bed, one arm resting on the mattress, the other hand on my head.

"How did I know?" he mumbled.

I wasn't sure he even noticed that I was awake. It sounded as if he was talking to himself.

"Know what?" I asked quietly, fully opening my eyes.

He looked at me and removed his fingers. "That you would soothe the drums. There is no way I will know, if you're dead."

I lifted a brow, suppressing a yawn. My brain was decidedly not awake enough to understand what he was saying. Should I get up? Should I just close my eyes again and continue sleeping? I was drifting away already, so...

"Wait." My eyes snapped open again. "Last time you said, it's too subtle to tell. With the drums I mean."

The Master shrugged. "It is. And it's not." He propped both elbows on the mattress and ruffled through his hair. "It makes no sense. Why would I go back and safe you when I couldn't have known?"

"Dunno. You make no sense," I mumbled.

He growled and looked at me. He was close enough for me to see his annoyed expression. Close enough that I should have felt uncomfortable, yet, for some reason didn't.

"There must be something else," he mumbled.

Even though I was still so tired, something about his words made me curious. "Care to explain?" I asked and turned a little to be in a more comfortable position to speak.

The Master eyed me suspiciously, almost as if he awaited me to abuse whatever he was about to tell. But his features softened already and he slightly shook his head. "For some reason I went back and marked you. So I wouldn't let you die. But that means you did already, and that means there is no way I would have known."

I snorted. "Seriously, you make less and less sense. What do you mean, you _marked_ me? Where did you go _back_?"

He didn't even look at me, head still in his hands, mumbling towards the mattress.

"Seems like _something_ will happen that makes it necessary for you to be alive. Which only happens because I will _know_ something I have no clue about... yet. And after that happens I will go back in time and place something in your mind. Something that calls out as soon as you're too close to death. The very thing that made me bring you back to life."

Utterly confused I blinked at him, trying to make sense of this all. "That... what? You can't change the past."

He lifted the head from his hands and stared at me. "You forget where we are."

"Huh? Where are we?"

His brow shot up in amusement. "TARDIS?"

"Yeah... I get that. Sentient spaceship and all... But how would I know _where_ we are? We could be anywhere."

"You... have no idea?" His words were honestly surprised. He snorted. "Normally he can't stop bragging about it."

"'bout what?" I started to become impatient.

The Master smirked, showing his teeth. "Right now, we are everywhere, lil' lumin. We're in the Time Vortex. A place that connects literally everywhere... and every _when_. Or to explain it in words your tiny mind can understand: This ship travels through space _and_ time."

I shot up to my elbows, glaring down at the... well... _Time_ Lord. It made sense. With this tiny information so much of what had happened recently lost a great deal of its strangeness.

"W... wait... Just now. I mean on the planet. We were in the future?" The Master nodded, still having an amused twinkle in his eyes. "And I was already wondering how they can hide all of this advanced stuff from humankind... And... the colonies... Humans spread into space?"

The Master let out an exasperated sigh. "So they did. Pesky race of yours."

My mouth dropped open for a moment, closed again and widened to a smile. "Wow. I really thought we would destroy ourselves long before that."

"It's not that I didn't try," he commented sarcastically.

There was such a childish smile on his face, his whole expression that of mischief. I had to laugh, even though it shouldn't be funny, and my reaction made him smile even wider. The inappropriateness of the whole thing made it only more ridiculous.

But then another thought interrupted the light mood. A string of information, a net of facts. The smile faded and I dropped back onto the mattress, on my back. I turned to the side, propping my head on one hand.

"Then why didn't you get me earlier?" I wanted to know. "Why let over a year pass for me? Why did you wait..." _Until I was so broken that I couldn't bear to be alive any longer_.

The Master stayed silent for almost a minute. The thought occurred that he might not answer at all, but eventually he did. "Didn't care," was the short answer. "You were fun to play with, that's all." He slightly shrugged and I felt a nasty sting in my chest. His brutal honesty could be really disturbing, sometimes. "And when I came to your place and found it empty, I traced you down, found out where you went and jumped there. Honestly with no real intent. Wanted to mock you a little. Then I was curious if you'd really do it." A chuckle made his eyes crinkle in mean joy.

I pursed my lips and frowned. "But why keep me alive, then?"

"Wasn't planning to. But I got aware of something in your mind. Something _I_ placed there for my past self to find. Only made itself noticeable when you were almost dead, though. You know the rest."

So he hadn't saved me out of sheer mockery. And... A deep breath slowly escaped me. "So, there is... or was... a version of time where I died?"

The Master hummed confirming, once again lost in his own thoughts.

In the end he _had_ accepted my wish, I realized. Or rather hadn't bothered at all; wouldn't have without this mental post-it in my head. And still... in that night he had spared some time to stay with me, to share some last minutes of comfort, even though he could have simply walked away.

Would a truly bad person really do that?

"What're you staring?" He rolled his eyes and poked against my forehead with a finger.

A light exploded.

I saw a flash, something rushed through me, like an electric shock and I saw...

... how he had rained hell upon humankind, saw his Toclafane decimate the human race, how he had tortured and humiliated the Doctor's friends with glee, had burned planets to ashes, overthrown rulers, simply to run their countries into chaos afterwards.

I saw him standing there, laughing. There were different faces, but it was always him. I knew it somehow, groaned and clenched my eyes shut from all the images that flooded my mind. There were hands around my head, fingers slightly pressing against my temples.

"Stop that," I ground out, trying to push him away.

But the Master was far stronger than I, didn't even flinch.

"That's not me," he stated curiously and chuckled. "Oh, that's fascinating."

I groaned at the overwhelming amount of images and impressions. I no longer could make out the separate scenes, everything was just melted together to a blurry mass of colour.

Then it stopped. I panted, slowly opening my eyes to find the Master leaning above me with the most curious expression. Quite as if he was eager to dissect my brain right on the spot.

"Why do you have those? Did you ever see more of my memories?"

I swallowed and heaved myself to my elbows. He was kneeling on the bed, right by my side, hands still stretched out a little in my direction. Only after some seconds did he let them fall to his lap.

"Y... yeah. When I was... dead? When I came back? Somewhere, then. Not much." I shook my head. "It... wasn't coherent enough to really tell anything."

Slowly his features morphed into an evil smirk. "You know more about me than most, as it seems." His lips split to a menacing grin. "Why aren't running, little one? Run and run and _run_ , until I can't get to you any longer?" He bent over me, his hands grabbing my collar to draw me to my knees, right in front of his face. "None of those memories are for you to see. _Not a single one!_ "

There was a sudden madness in his eyes, or maybe it had been there before and I simply hadn't seen it without my glasses. Those ancient, bottomless depths were boring right into me, making it impossible to speak. My body started to tremble slightly and I was so hellishly confused, until I finally understood what it was I felt.

Fear.

The grip on my collar got stronger, almost choking me. I grabbed his hands, tried to pry them open without success. I might not die from his actions, but he could do so much worse, I realized. There was a potential, one for destruction, one for completely taking me apart and leaving nothing behind but an empty shell of what I once was.

And there was pain. I had no idea how, but I could _feel_ it, intense and all consuming, without origin or direction. Not even physical, but just... _there_ , eating away at... _him_. This didn't come from me.

I forced myself to breathe, my hands rose, rested on his chest, right above the hearts. Through the cloth off his shirt I could feel them beating frantically, too fast, too painful. How else could he endure it, if not through inflicting all this pain onto others? How else could he survive, if not through fire and chaos?

Our gazes were locked, the fog of madness slowly fading from his hazel eyes. The tight grip of his fists became softer, his heartbeats slowed. In the end he simply blinked. Once, twice, returned from a place _so far away_...

"You alright again?" I breathed.

My words seemed to confuse him even further, eyes dropping to my hands on his chest, his own leaving my collar to fall down beside him. He swayed, closed his eyes halfway and dropped his forehead against mine.

"Not enough," he mumbled. "It's still too loud. Still hurts. Make them quiet, lil' lumin." The Master took a shaky breath and placed a hand over one of mine, pressing it against his chest. "Why don't you run?"

"Where to?" I quietly asked. "I belong nowhere. Even if I would run..."

His eyes crept open, his voice was soft, had lost the mad touch. "Do I scare you?"

I smiled weakly, nodded. "Sometimes, yeah."

There was a crooked grin on his lips, slowly morphing into an expression of anguish. A slight tremble went through him, his hand released mine. Before I could comprehend what happened, he dropped to the side, collapsed onto the mattress. His skin was incredibly pale, almost white and a slight shimmer of sweat coated his forehead.

"Hey!" I called out. "What's with you?"

The only response was a weak chuckle, almost bordering on madness again. Whatever happened to him frightened me a lot more than all of his threats had done. I swung my legs from the bed, tossing a concerned glance at the Master.

"I'll get the Doctor."

That seemed to snap him out of whatever tormented him. Swiftly he grabbed my wrist, held me in place.

"Don't," he breathed. "That idiot doesn't believe a word I say."

"Can you blame him?" The things I had seen, the memories, the impressions... How often had the Master lied and betrayed, destroyed and broken? How many lives had he thrown away for mere amusement, out of morbid curiosity or simply to piss off the Doctor?

His face dropped. He even let go of my wrist.

"No. I can't," he muttered and chuckled again as if it were funny. But his expression was more that of intense pain. Of the mental sort. "I don't know why you saw all that. You shouldn't have. Shouldn't know."

"Why not?" I almost whispered.

"Cause now..." He shook as if a cold shiver had caught him and he rolled to his side, burring the head under his arms. "Now your eyes are different."

Startled I ceased any attempt to leave. Those words stirred something within me, stung like cold ice, although I couldn't name what I was feeling. And still I understood. That the Doctor knew so much about the Master and therefore treated him the way he did, whereas I...

I couldn't bare being alone after _one_ nightmarish adventure, while the Master had probably lived through hundreds if not more of those, constantly tormented, constantly alone... may it be through his own behaviour, but still...

Something clicked.

Something I had no words for and still understood deep within me.

"I believe you." My words were barely audible. His head appeared from under his arms, the skin still too pale. "Tell me what's wrong. Maybe I can help."

"You can't." The Master clenched his teeth as if from pain. "I'm still ripped open. Didn't know how long it would take to heal."

"Are you injured? Did that happen in the..."

"No." He chuckled. "It happened because I gave my life-force to you. See? It's always bad to do something good."

I snorted. "Depends on what you consider as such." I sighed and observed him, concerned. "Still... can I help? Is this dangerous?"

"Almost sealed up again," the Master mumbled. "You can't do anything. It just takes a while." He took some deep breaths and looked back at me. "There's something I should do for _you_ , though."

Questioningly I raised my brows, not moving a muscle.

"I ripped a hole through your mental barriers. That's not so good. Other people can take advantage of it."

"Yeah, I noticed," I grumbled. "How do I heal that?"

"You?" A mean little smirk spread on his face, even through his obvious pain. "Your psychic abilities are barely developed. You'd probably make it worse."

"Then stop mocking me and fix this mess." I poked out my tongue.

The Master snickered to himself, the seemingly severe state of his obviously not as bad as it looked. Had he be human I would have been a lot more concerned. Was it the sudden outburst of the drums that had worsened his state? Because before there had not been a noticeable sign of it. Or maybe he simply was extremely good at hiding how lousy he really felt. So good that his body first had to collapse until he would acknowledge it.

Hesitantly I lay back down and turned to face him. There was still some distance between us, although we were close enough for him to reach out and touch my temples. The most direct way, even though I still wasn't sure I understood what this meant.

The Master's thumbs rested lightly around my head, his eyes were closed in concentration. A shiver went through my body as I felt the stream of foreign energy enter my head. It was like a thin trickle of warm water, gently searching its way through the windings of my thoughts. Somewhere it stopped, spread and grew like a wall, or a net, filled me with warmth and another shiver.

Something clicked. Not audible, not physically. As if an idea had been born, as if a deep realisation had been accomplished, like the intense rush of a past danger, of a managed struggle, of a first kiss.

I exhaled sharply, pushed my hands against his chest. The rhythm under his skin was steady, almost pulsating. A set of four beats. Soothing, yet so foreign.

Like the images before, those sensations overwhelmed me slightly, made it impossible to tell apart one thing from the other, impossible to determine if it felt good or bad. I sensed him searching, digging. No longer busy repairing my barriers, because that had been done, but now eager to find something unknown.

If the Master was only in my head or if part of my consciousness also flew into _his_ mind was equally hard to tell. I sensed his curiosity, his growing frustration and a slight, bitter taste of resignation. But none of it felt as intense as it had hours before, when he had chased the devil out of my mind. There, for a moment, I had lost myself completely, had ceased to exist as a sole being.

The memory, combined with how I felt right now, made a cold, dark and icy patch of loneliness blossom within me. Was it even mine? Or was it rather something we both felt, bounced back and forth, amplified, cutting through my very essence like a cold shard.

It took a while before I noticed that I had curled up more and more, somehow trying to cope with those alien sensations. My hands were clutching his shirt, my head resting against his chest.

"Can't find it," the Master eventually murmured, fingers slipping from my temples. "Whatever soothes them..." I felt him exhale slow and deep. The next question came whispered, almost a plea. "You still don't hear the drums, do you?"

I lifted my head to find pain in his hazel eyes. One I knew and understood too well. One that came from having to deal with something other people could not perceive, nor comprehend.

"No, I can't. Sorry," I uttered back.

"Thought so." The Master swallowed, took a breath. "The barrier is fixed. You can leave."

Leave... right. Or maybe stay a tiny bit longer like this, partially curled up against his chest, my head lowering again, eyes closing. Just a bit. Only for one more minute. One more tiny fraction of existence that I wouldn't spend feeling lonely.

A warm hand came to rest on my side. "You saw my memories. You know who I am."

I did. In a sense. What I had seen was more than enough to have a clear picture of what kind of person the Master was. He was a firestorm, scorching the earth below his feet. He was a wild cyclone, tearing out ancient trees with their roots. He was a raving ocean, crashing and swallowing everything that came too close, carrying monsters in the darkest depths of his very being.

And I really shouldn't be so damn fascinated by that!

The hand slowly, almost hesitantly wandered a little lower, slipped under my shirt to rest on the same spot as before, but touching bare skin. Again I felt a tingle in my mind, lightly slipping through my thoughts without ever really touching them. Just lingering, sensing. I didn't move.

The whole touch telepathy thing still was so strange to me, defied everything I knew about how humans (well... aliens) interacted with one another. It was a physical thing, in some sense, and it also wasn't at all. I wished I would know more about it, but meanwhile simply enjoyed not being alone in my own head.

The Master huffed. "Not even a _little_ scared. That's kind of an insult, you know?" There was a smile in his voice, belying the words.

Next thing I knew was that his hand slid to my back, pushing me closer against him. Surprised I stiffened, hands still resting against his chest. His thumb absently stroked over my back, our minds intermingled ever so slightly, barely noticeable. There was no way of naming it, no way of telling what I even felt.

And I didn't want to be alone. Didn't want to let go of what he had to offer, even if it was only because he abused my presence. Because something about me, or about my mind, made his drums a little quieter. That much I got.

It didn't matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uh-Oh... Some weird things are happening.  
> Also, I suspected to run out of ideas for this story pretty fast... but that obviously didn't happen, lol. Another adventure is already waiting at the doorstep, so to speak. Let's see how that goes. *giggles* I (not so) sneakily put together some of my favourite subjects, also fitting for the winter theme.
> 
> A big thanks to every reader, even if you never say a word. I still see the stats and it always makes me happy and a little proud to see my numbers.  
> °\\\w\\\°  
> And, of course, a huge thanks to everyone who takes a few seconds to type a comment. I love reading them, no matter how long or short. Keep'em coming! x3
> 
> Stay sane and healthy!
> 
> See you next time! °v°/)


	36. Part V (III)

There was no morning in the TARDIS, but my body knew when it had enough rest. I snuggled myself a little more into the warm blankets, enjoying how comfy the bed was. Only then did I notice that I was alone and it dampened my mood for a truly inappropriate amount.

 _He's just using you for his drums_ , I reminded myself.

We weren't friends. We didn't even _like_ each other that much. Which was a plain _fact_. There were things that connected us on some level, that much was true. And maybe there was nothing wrong about using each other for comfort.

I still shouldn't get used to it. The Master would toss me away without even thinking about it, as soon as he'd get bored, or found another solution to his drumming problem.

Then again did it appear as if my existence had some value, after all. It was good to know that I was of more use alive, than dead. Even though none of us had a clue why that was the case.

I groaned into the pillow, already too overwhelmed by too many thoughts for one morning (even when it wasn't morning at all). There was a slight rustling at the movement and I felt something on my forehead. Turning on my back I reached up, finding... wait, was that...?

I tugged the post-it away from my head, frowning at the paper. Thanks to my bad vision I had to hold it so close, my nose almost touched the writing. The letters were sharp, almost elegant.

_Touch anything in here and you're dead! >:(_

For some seconds I stared at the post-it. Had the guy really nothing better to do than sticking this thing to me while I slept?! It irritated and amused me equally. In the end I crumpled the note up and tossed it on the floor. Should he deal with the garbage himself.

I even contemplated moving some things around. Not much, just a tiny little bit. Maybe not even enough to be really noticeable. Or maybe it would be. My fingers itched, the mischievous part of me urging to have this little, silly satisfaction.

But I didn't.

Whatever it was the both of us shared, was too fragile to break with such a dumb action.

Instead I carefully closed the door behind me and – to my surprise – found my own door on the opposite wall. The TARDIS must have put it there so I would easily find it. That made me smile fondly. It was so weird to have a ship liking me, and at the same time it was kind of cute.

In my room I opened the wardrobe for the first time, finding it filled with things I liked. There were black jeans and I almost squealed when I found a hooded zipper, entirely made out of red plaid. (Plaid is awesome, seriously!)

A quick shower and some brushed teeth later I was, again, in the corridors. This time the Master's door was gone and in its place was a white one with a sign on it, saying "kitchen". I couldn't recall if that sign had been there the last time, or maybe it was another door, or another kitchen.

It didn't matter that much, honestly. The inside looked like I remembered and all I cared about was to get some coffee into me. So it happened that I was still a little groggy from sleep, clutching a steaming mug that was yet too hot to drink from, when I entered the console room.

No one was here.

For a moment it surprised me. Somehow I had awaited someone to be here, but then I realized what a stupid idea that was. This ship was enormous and those two certainly weren't travelling day-in and day-out.

Curiously I wandered around the control table, observing all the different buttons, wires, levers and whatnot. All the small and big things that might or might not have some elaborate function. Sip by sip the cup got emptied and at the same pace my head got confused. How could one operate such a machine? And had the Master told the truth about it? Was she able to travel through time?

All those possibilities... One could travel wherever and just go about experimenting with timelines. Make things undone, and others happen, observe the consequences and change everything again, until it was to their liking. Or was it more complicated?

Slowly I reached out a hand, stroked a finger over a blinking button in the shape of a rose petal. The urge to play around with everything was almost unbearable.

A hand lay itself over mine, almost gently guiding it away from the button. I jumped in surprise, my back bumping against someone.

"I really wouldn't do that if I were you," the Master mocked. "That button's for stabilizing us in the Vortex. Among other things."

I glanced up, finding a teasing smile on his face. He released my hand and stepped away to slump down into the jump seat, a big, old book in hands. It seemed as if he came here often to read, making me wonder if he didn't despise the possibility of the Doctor being around, too.

"So... Time travel," I uttered, leaning with my back against the console, the mug still in hands.

The Master glanced up from his pages. There was an anticipating shine in his eyes, as if he already knew what I was thinking about. A grin split his lips. "I'd show it to you myself, but, unfortunately, the Doctor brought the lock back in order."

He didn't ask. If I would lend him a hand, once more. Maybe it wasn't even possible anymore, the Doctor surely smart enough to come up with a slightly different thing, now that he knew I had helped deactivating the lock once. I almost was about to ask, but then decided against it. Not yet. Not today. Maybe if he proved to me that he wouldn't burn everything, would he be let lose.

The universe was a way too beautiful place, full of too many wonders, for me to risk it being destroyed.

I strolled over to him to take a peek at the book he was holding. There were strange symbols and pictures of creatures in it. They looked as if they were made of black smoke, constantly shifting, with beaks like that of birds and black glowing eyes. I blinked, trying to figure out if those images were moving or if it was just my imagination.

"It's a void creature," the Master told. "Or so they say. Nothing can exist there."

"The void?"

He turned a page and pointed at a set of circular symbols. "It's the space between worlds. Beyond the Time Vortex. There is just... nothing. Or things that get banned to rot there. Well... can't rot. There's no time or space there."

I sat next to him, glancing inside the book. "So, there _is_ stuff? You just said..."

"Nothing native." The Master shrugged. "At least there is nothing known about entities coming _from_ there. Except legends. Ancient stories, as old as the universe itself."

"Then why are you looking them up?" I asked curiously.

"No particular reason." He shrugged and turned another page. The next showed another creature of black smoke, forming a pattern that reminded of huge wings and claws. "Found it in the library. No idea why it lay there. Wasn't there, yesterday."

All the pages showed either round symbols or more of those smoky creatures. They were creepy in an unexplainable sense, reminding me of spectres and wraiths. The pictures were drawn so lively I often had the feeling of being stared at or catching some movement out of the corner of my eyes. The effect let me shiver, crept me out somewhat.

The Master was almost the opposite of those beings, eyes clinging to the pages, eagerly skimming over them, absorbing their knowledge with a fascinated gleam. He emanated some, almost childish, curiosity that made me smile. Whatever he liked to tell, there was more in him than only bad. Maybe he would never find it, maybe it would always stay hidden, but somehow I just _knew_ it was there.

"Hey," I tore him out. "Are you better today?"

He looked up, arching a puzzled brow at me. "Uh... yeah." He shrugged, appearing as if he had no idea what to do with my question. "Almost healed up."

"What's healed up? Are you hurt?" the Doctor's voice chimed in, making us both raise our heads.

The Master slammed the book shut, a scowl etching itself into his features. "None of your business, Doctor," he growled.

"Oi, not so hostile, there." He raised both hands in defence and stepped closer. "Ohhhh, void creatures. Those legends always spooked me. Worse than the Toclafane. You sure you're alright? You know we have the med-"

"I said, it's none of your bloody business!" the Master snarled. "Don't you have some apes to safe? Or flowers to sniff or whatever ridiculous things you always do."

The Doctor moved to the console, his face dropping somewhat. He looked tired, in a way no sleep could heal. His eyes glanced towards the Master, then to me, showing concern, but also... hope? I had no idea, as always, guessed it more than really knowing.

I recalled the images I had seen, last night, and the snippets I had gathered. The Doctor had reversed the paradox, had prevented the Master's reign from ever happening. And then? The answer was quite obvious. He must have taken the other Time Lord with him, as a prisoner, although he didn't always seem like one. They had spent years together, after that. How many I could not know, but things had changed, since then. Both of them had. In good and bad ways.

The Doctor coughed slightly and forced a smile to his face. "After that adventure I thought we might visit somewhere nice. What do you think, Lucy?"

Somewhere nice sounded great!

"Yeah! I'd like that. Somewhere without monsters please, and no fire. And also no adventures."

The Master snorted. "Now I get why she doesn't fit your preferences. 'No adventures'." He giggled to himself. "Poor, poor Doctor. Nothing to show off with."

"Oi, cut it! I can very well do nice and calm!"

"No, you don't."

"Ha! I'll prove it!" The Doctor turned to face me, determination on his face. "Any wish?"

Time and space to choose from. Yeah sure... _pick some_.

"I always wanted to see an aurora," I shot out the answer. Why not start with the things I had never been able to see?

"How boring," the Master drawled.

"Yeah?" I put on a mocking smirk. "Then how about an aurora... on earth." Satisfied grinning I watched his disgusted face and hopped from the seat to join the Doctor at the console. "You can pick _when_. I don't particularly care about that."

It also was a sneaky way to test if the time travel thing was real or not. The Doctor didn't seem surprised, though, maybe wasn't even aware that he had never told about it. His mind seemed so scattered, all the time...

"Mhm..." His eyes lit up a second later and he started to press and pull and push and flip. "I might have an idea."


	37. Part VI - Of ashes and snow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One hour bus drive to work each day... So I decided to try and write on my phone... It's working surprisingly well. So, here, have another chapter already. xD  
> And if you're reading this on the 21. also have a nice Yule night! 💙

I rushed to the exit as soon as the landing noises stopped, tearing the doors open. My smile dropped – and then returned full force.

"Snow!" I called out, running outside.

It was broad daylight, no aurora anywhere.

But _snow!_

I even forgot to put on something warm, my mind only set on being outside, enjoying the view of glowing white hills and green conifers nearby. The sun let tiny sparkles of glitter dance across the frozen surfaces, warmed me up only a little, but enough to enjoy being outside for some more minutes. I walked circles in the snow, swept small heaps away with the tips of my shoes and took far too many deep breaths of the icy air.

Soon I started to shiver and moved back to the TARDIS, where the Time Lords still stood, observing my silly behaviour. Right now I really didn't care what they thought about it, too giddy with excitement. I only noticed a small, almost warm smile on the Master's face and it startled me.

The Doctor also smiled, but more in a proud way. "Come on, get something warm before you freeze." He nodded inside. "Human bodies are so frail. And so not made for cold environments."

I snorted. "Yeah, you're right. Le'me guess. You lot don't freeze?"

"Not as fast," the Master told mockingly. The odd smile had vanished.

"So not fair," I mumbled and shook my head. Then I looked at the Doctor, raising a brow. "I haven't seen winter clothes in my wardrobe..."

"No problem. There's a huge one in the TARDIS. Has everything you'll ever need." He beamed and rushed inside, leading the way through some corridors.

I gaped at the sight of countless things to choose from. There were clothes in all styles and for all occasions. Whatever one was looking for, they would surely find it here.

"Come along," the Doctor said, nodding in a particular direction. He led me up a small winded staircase to a section of clothes that looked somewhat medieval. "You might take some of those. Should be more fitting for the time."

"When are we? Middle ages?" I picked up a fur hood, admiring how soft and warm it was.

"Mhm... roughly in the ninth century, actually. Somewhere in the Icelandic regions."

The tunic I had picked up fell out of my hand as I gaped at the Time Lord. "We're going to see some Vikings! Please say it is so!"

A proud smile widened on his face, even completely reached his eyes. He giggled childishly and nodded. "Yep," he said, popping the 'p'. "It's a special day and it will be an even more special night."

A special night? What could it-

"Oh, how about that one?"

"That's... a dress." I shot up an eyebrow.

"Well, yeah. Why not? It's a good one. Not too rich, not too shabby. Just like a normal dress from back then. Probably."

I folded my arms, waiting for his ramblings to finish. "I'm not wearing a dress."

"Oh." The Doctor dropped the clothing. "Hm... well... I'm not sure what else women wore these days. There are only some tunics and... mhm..."

Meanwhile I picked up some light brown linen pants and a reddish tunic with embroidered embellishments around the collar and the wrists.

"That'll do," I decided, also picking up a belt. "And maybe..." I chuckled and left the Doctor standing, searching the wardrobe for something else.

* * *

.

* * *

"You know..." the Master drawled, letting his eyes wander over me. "You look like a boy."

I grinned impishly at him. "Was that supposed to be an insult?"

"Pffff, everyone'll know, anyway, as soon as they see your..." He raised both brows, roaming his eyes over my chest. "Seriously? You even bound your chest?"

"And there the TARDIS has so many nice clothes," the Doctor mumbled from behind.

"'m not going to wear a dress. Period," I stated. "Besides, you've got no idea how often people mistake me for a guy." I pointed at my short hair. "And it's not the first time I bind my chest. I like how it looks." I shrugged and grinned. "So, can we go now?"

The Master still observed my attire, chin in hand, eyes squinted. "I'll get some of those, too," he mumbled to himself and rushed away to the wardrobe.

I shook my head with a smile, while slightly rubbing over my eyelids. The TARDIS had also provided me with contact lenses, but I had so seldom wore some that I needed a little to adjust to them.

The Doctor made no move to change out of his usual brown suit. Instead he crossed his arms and ankles, casually leaning against the console.

"Don't you like being a woman?" he suddenly asked.

"Huh? Err... hm." I shrugged.

"You know there are places where they can get you surgery and all that," he continued calmly. "Way better than on earth."

"Oh. Heh, no. It's not that." I stretched a little to get used to the new binder. "Used to have some... problems when I was a child. Always thought I'd rather have been born a boy."

"Why's that?" He actually smiled reassuringly, signalling that this was nothing weird at all. There was only curiosity in his voice. No judgement.

 _If only all people were like that_ , I thought o myself. Over the years I had met so many who were shunned and treated badly because of stuff like that.

"Cause my family had quite the old-school view on genders, I guess. And I was the only one to despise dresses, dolls and pink and all that stuff." I gave the floor a snide smile. "Later I never fitted with the other girls... never had the same interests, were more into videogames and books and science, instead of crushes, gossip and makeup."

"Aha!" he shot out. "So it's the way your time and age thinks women have to behave, right?"

"Yeah," I admitted. "Have no problem with being female, physically. Just don't like the societal aspect of it." I chuckled and pointed at my chest. "And I don't wanna get rid of those. Just like the way it looks when it's flat. Not always. Just from time to time. That's all."

The Doctor nodded thoughtfully and smiled again. Sometimes he had a way of just making you feel understood, accepted. It was weird, foreign to me. Humans never were like that. They always judged, always assumed something bad, always had their prejudices, whenever someone deviated from the norm.

"Weeeell..." He beamed at me. "You sound sure about this."

"Heh, yeah. Took me long enough to figure out I can be female without always having to _behave_ like one. So yup, I am sure."

"Alright. That's good to hear."

"But thanks," I mumbled, slightly smiling back. "For the offer, I mean."

* * *

.

* * *

The Master returned, clad in all black, wearing a leathern gambeson with some buckles over the chest and a broad belt around his waist, leathern bracers, linen pants and high boots. He also had a dark pelt-cloak over his shoulders, although it seemed far too short for his size. I gaped at him, astonished how cool he looked in that attire.

"You definitely need a longer beard," I commented.

The Master laughed, stroked his goatee and gave me a wink. "Like what you see?"

"Yeah man, you look badass!"

He grinned way too smug at that comment, but it wasn't a lie. He surely had a talent for fashion, even when it was functional. Before we could move, however, he took the cloak off his shoulders, only to step in my direction and tossing it over my head.

"Hey, what...?"

"Hold still."

He tugged at the pelt until it sat correctly and secured it with a metal pin. Perplex I glared at his hands, watching them, before my eyes raised to meet his. There was a mocking smirk already sitting on his face.

"I hate doing things in vain, you know? If you wanna freeze to death, do it after I'm done with you."

I chuckled and nodded, adding a sarcastic, "Yes, Master."

Judging by the smug smile, he definitely liked the response. His gaze then wandered over to his fellow Time Lord, shaking his head.

"Not going to blend in, are you?" the Master asked sarcastically.

"Nothing wrong with my clothes!" the Doctor whined and rushed away before we could protest.

"Actually," the Master casually tossed in as we stepped outside into the white winter world. "I'm more surprised you're not locking me away to go alone."

"Well... you had already changed so... Oh look, there is a squirrel!" The Doctor excitedly pointed at the small animal that was running through the snow. The distraction was so obvious I had to shake my head. "It's not far. Right behind this hill."

None of us brushed the subject again and we plodded through the snow until we reached the peak. And there, right below us, lay a small village, right at the shore to the sea. The houses were wooden, with low hanging roofs, and there was a large building at the edge, decorated with carved wooden statues and ornaments. Probably the mead hall, where the earl resided with his family.

We were greeted with curious gazes and suspicious whispers, but most people didn't pay much attention to us. There was a weirdly tense atmosphere, as if they were waiting for something. And not for something good.

Eventually one of the men approached us. He wore raven black, tousled hair and an almost elegant beard that was braided to two short plaits. His eyes, however were of a dark blue. It seemed like he was a farmer or a hunter, wearing simple clothes and dirty hands. A bow hung over his shoulder, a quiver below his waist.

"Greetings, travellers," he started, his voice sounding firm, but not too rough. He actually was only slightly larger than the Master. "You've come by a bad time, even though Yule is nearing."

Yule! My eyes widened in excitement. That was the special day the Doctor had mentioned.

He immediately rushed past me and built himself up in front of the man.

"Bad time? Is there trouble? And what kind of trouble? Big, small, ugly, smelly?"

The black haired scratched his beard, eyeing the Time Lord suspiciously. "You wear strange clothes, traveller. Where are you from?"

"Oooch, you know, from here and there."

"We found the clothes during a raid, last winter," I tossed in. "We got lost in the snow and found a small settlement. No idea where it was, exactly."

My heart raced as I babbled out the words. It probably was better if they thought we were of a similar kind. And the Doctor, right now, truly did his best to be suspicious as hell.

"A raid, I see. Well, the three of you alone won't manage to take us all down." He winked with a smile that was both, charming and dangerous. "We are preparing the fest of Yule. And everything that lies beyond. If you desire so and have some tales to tell, feel free to stay. Maybe the gods will keep Fafnir away until the sun returns."

"Fafnir?" I couldn't help but ask curiously. "The dwarf who turned into a dragon?"

"Ha! The little one knows. You taught him well, friends. Yes, the dragon, indeed. But let's not speak of him. Come, I'll take you to the blacksmith, he might have something to do for you to pass the time."

"To do for us?" The Master squinted at the man. "That sounds horribly as if you expect us to work."

He got nudged into his side by the Doctor, but the damage was already done. I held my breath, inwardly cursing. I really badly wanted to see a true Yule fest for myself and those idiots were about to get us tossed out before we even had arrived properly.

The black haired, though, only laughed out, grinning at us. "It gets cold fast when you don't keep your body moving. And lots of damage has been done to the village, recently. We will treat you well and share mead and fire with you, let you celebrate the sun and the gods with us."

"Sounds fair. Lead the way." The Doctor nodded enthusiastically and tossed a dark look at the Master.

So he did, stepping along the wooden houses, decorated with snow. I took in the atmosphere, marvelled wide eyed at all the things I only knew from books and TV shows. Sure, they didn't have all the comforts of modern life, but they were so much closer to nature. Not to speak of the stunningly beautiful environment.

White dust hung in the cold air, the smoke of fires rose into the sky from every house and from some places outside. People were busily doing their work, crafting, tending, chatting away, some staring at us. A few children waved, then ran away giggling.

"Oh right," our guide suddenly said. "We haven't even introduced one another. I am Ivar Bjornsson, hunter, mostly. Although I have been onto some Raids with the others."

"Very nice to make your acquaintance," the Doctor replied.

I quickly took the word, however, not wanting him to tell their weird names… and mine.

"He's called Laeknir of the tides." I pointed at the Doctor, then thumbed at the Master, whose eyebrow shot up warningly. I swallowed, but continued anyway. "He's Erik, son of Logir. And I…" For a brief second I paused, my mind rushing through the few Nordic names I knew. Preferably one that was sort of androgynous.

"My name... is Roka."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Nope, this has nothing to do with my other stories. Just couldn't resist. ;P  
> Also, I'm really a little obsessed with all those nordic stories. They are cool. But I still might mix things up (on purpose or not, lol).  
> And if you ever played Skyrim... well... nuff said ;P


	38. Part VI (II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Holidays!
> 
> I hope you're all somewhat well and safe during those weird times. Wherever you are, if you're with family or all on your own, remember that this isn't permanent. You will not be alone forever. Try to use this time of silence to look deep inside of you. This is a chance you will not get a second time. Find out who you truly are and who you want to be, without anyone else speaking for you.
> 
> I know it's hard, I know depression might spit in your face and laugh like the devil. But you made it this far. You are strong and you can walk another step.
> 
> Please stay safe! 💙
> 
> And, since I've got nothing better to do than cook way too fancy stuff for myself and building an empire in Anno1800... I decided you will get one chapter each of the three Christmas days. (Yes, I'm seriously bored without working, lol )

"Ey, ye're a bunch of weird folks. All looking like yer could be snapped in half like a twig. And you, Ivar? Bringin' me only the strangers or have ya gotten some iron too?"

The blacksmith stood up from his big whetstone ring and swung the short sword in his hand, testing the balance. He was a big guy, with lots of muscles in his arms, bald and tattooed all over the head. His beard was blond, braided into two separate strands.

"Only the strangers, today," Ivar answered. "They want to stay for the Yule night and I thought you might give them something to do until then."

"Is that so?" The big guy stepped towards us, eyeing each with curiosity. "Can't send weak folks like yer out to slay a beast. How'd ya survive, ey? Yer clothes are hardly made for the harsh weather and I see not a single weapon on neither of you."

I swallowed nervously. There was no excuse at all for both.

"Oh it's not that cold, actually," the Doctor answered with a grin. "Have been to far frostier places already. With far less fitting clothes. There was this one-"

The Master nudged him, murmuring, "Not helpful, Doctor."

"We got into a ravine," I quickly told. "Lost all our stuff."

"Ah…" the smith made. "Even your axes? And knifes?"

"Uhm…" I couldn't come up with a good explanation. In those times there were always dangers around, from people, from the wildlife. Everyone held tight to their defences, kept them close to the body so they couldn't get lost.

"Oh, I assure you we _are_ armed." The Master gave the man a nasty grin and tapped against his own chest, where he probably had his laser screwdriver. "Bet it's more dangerous and deadly than poking things with swords."

Now it was the Doctor to nudge his counterpart, whispering, "Master, stop it."

They exchanged some truly venomous glances and I had the huge urge to smack them both. Again I got surprised, as the blacksmith only laughed roughly.

"The gods must hold a hand over ya." He winked. "Ye're not here to do harm, that's clear."

"Wouldn't be so sure about that," the Master grunted.

Again the huge guy laughed. "Ya can try, but the three of yer won't stand a chance 'gainst us all. And none of yer looks as if ye'could even carry an axe, let alone wield one." At that he especially looked _me_ up and down. "Show me yer hands, boy."

I stiffened and cast a help seeking look at my companions. The Doctor shrugged, the Master was still fixated on the human in front of us, a scowl etched deeply into his features. Ivar only nodded reassuringly, but with a mix of curiosity and mirth in his look.

I took a step forward and stretched my hands out, which the man took immediately into his own, turning and observing them from all angles.

"I… I'm training to be a Skald," I quickly told, already guessing that he would notice that my hands did not show the signs of hard labour.

"Even those know how't swing a sword. And no Skald I know has hands without any calluses. Where'd they raise ya?"

"Let them be, Gerion," Ivar finally tossed in, laughing. "They are no threat and if they want to celebrate with us, it's no manner to deny the favour."

Gerion gave me a stare that made my knees weak. There it was again, that unpleasant feeling I always got with eye-contact. I had to avert my gaze, even though I knew it would let me seem guilty or ashamed.

"Well, can't resist some int'restin' fellas. And Odin taught us to be welcoming."

I smiled at that, murmuring, "Yah, no one wants to tumble into their own sword."

Again the smith laughed out loud and slapped his hand down on my shoulder. "Ya know the story of Grimnir, then?"

"Uh... partially." All I knew was one song from the old Edda. "Odin once disguised as an old wizard, Grimnir, to test if his foster-son, the king Geirröth would be hospitable. But he tortured his guest and only his son showed kindness to Grimnir. When the disguise was revealed, Odin caused the king to fall into his own sword."

Ivar rubbed his chin, eyeing me with the same curiosity as I got from the Time Lords. A small swell of pride sat in my chest. For once, my love for old stories proved to be useful, as it seemed.

"Let's see how they fare," Gerion agreed. "Oi there! Ya tall, flimsy one with yer weird clothes."

"Me?" the Doctor asked and stopped fidgeting with his hands. Instead he pushed them into his coat pockets.

"Yar, ye. Go help the women with decorations. They need a tall one with too much energy."

"Ohhhh, decorating is nice, I love decorating, been called the best decorator in the entire cou- aauuu!" He suddenly jumped on one foot, holding the other, where the Master had stepped on. Obviously not very gently. "Why did you do that?" he whined.

"Because I always love hearing you scream in pain," came the reply, accompanied by a sweet smile.

"I'll bring Laeknir to the hall," told Ivar, with a hardly contained chuckle.

The Doctor protested, however, "It's probably not so good to leave him alone." He thumbed at the Master.

"Oh, I can assure ya, I can handle the fella." Gerion barked out a laugh and eyed the Master while the first two vanished.

"I'm not working for you," the Time Lord growled dangerously.

"No?" The Smith stroked over his beard, twisting one strand in his fingers. "That's a shame. Could have really used someone as strong and fierce looking as ya. Strong arms, a wake mind. Those are good trades."

I shot a quick glance at the Master, surprised to see him gnawing his bottom lip. The flattery got to him. He probably knew the Smith had done it on purpose, but declining now would make him look weak. And by now I had learned, he hated that.

"Well… I could lend a hand, of course," he slowly started. "It's probably hard to find capable people here." The smug look on his face was almost hilarious.

"I bet ya will be a greater help than anyone else in this place. And you, little one." He turned to me, the taxing look making me swallow and shrink a little. "Been a while since I trained someone. And it's a shame to have ya runnin' around like that. Even a Skald needs to know how to wield an axe, at least."

* * *

.

* * *

"Stand a little wider. I could just blow ya to yer butt with that bad stance! Yeah, that's better. Look here. Watch me feet. They tell ya what I'm plannin'."

The axe was short and quite small, but incredibly sharp. Even with that size it was heavy in my hand, making me painfully aware of how weak my muscles were.

I watched Gerion, tried to make out what he might be doing next. Body language really was no strength of mine and we had been training for only an hour or so.

The Smith took two wide steps, swept his own axe right towards my head. I froze, my breath stopped.

The weapon swished past me.

"Pshaw. How'd ya not get killed already? Even a squirrel could defeat ya."

"I.. I… Sorry."

"Feel sorry for yerself, boy. I know ya have not even stubble yet, but fighting you should. Won't make it long without."

He was right. Even though he couldn't know the kinds of dangers I was actually facing. Not even I knew much about them, but the universe surely was full of threats. So I was thankful for the lessons.

"Can… I just practice the moves for a bit? To get a reflex, I mean. Maybe I won't freeze then."

"Yah, do that," he accepted, smiling. "I'll take a look at Erik for a while."

The Master seemed to have fun. I smiled when I saw how enthusiastically he hammered around on the red glowing metal in front of him. Allowing him to literally play with fire and forge weapons… Good thing the Doctor wasn't around to see that.

* * *

.

* * *

When the sun set, every bone in my body seemed to hurt. I wasn't used to hard work, let alone to fighting. And the practice, on top of the sparing with Gerion had completely worn me out.

Panting and sweating I leaned against the wall of the forge, watching how the Master plunged a sword into icy water. The rising vapour made his eyes gleam in joy.

I giggled.

"Wouldn't have thought you'd actually have fun working."

"That's hardly working," he countered with a mocking tone. "Certainly not the hardest work I've ever done."

I arched a brow, but instead of elaborating, he ignored me and observed the new sword closely. Gerion held out a hand and took it from him. His eyes skimmed over the weapon with a satisfied nod.

"I knew you were useful. Those will help a great deal when the… well, it's always good to have some."

I wondered if the Master had also noticed the cut-off sentence. Or maybe he was too busy bathing in the praise he got.

Whatever the case, Gerion brought us to one of the bigger houses. On the way the Doctor joined us, also looking quite pleased. On the door to the house we were lead in, hung a wreath of thin wood. Some pinetwigs were woven into it, and also some red berries.

"This's the guest house," Gerion told. "Has a bunch of rooms for ya. A fireplace in here." He stepped in and pointed at the pit in the middle of the main room. There were wooden logs around and pelts on the floor and on the walls. Among other decorations. "Water's in the well, or if ya prefer, take it from the sea. Me wife will bring yer some food later. Tomorrow ye'll have to hunt for yerselves."

"Thanks a lot for the hospitality!" the Doctor beamed. "This is brilliant! Oh, and tell me, when will the festive part start?"

Gerion tossed him a funny glance. "What'ya thinkin'? On Yule of course. In five nights. Make yerselves at home." He raised his hand and let us alone.

Silence spread in the almost dark room.

"Again, Doctor," the Master finally said, barely hiding his mischief. "Wrong time again."

"Oi, it's only five days! Not too far off. Have been worse."

"That you have."

"Eh, we can just jump ahead. I'm sure we'll come up with an explanation."

"Can we stay?" I dared to ask, heart thudding in my throat. I hated to ask for something. It always made me anxious and I could never tell if what I wanted was appropriate or not. But this here was just… "Please? It's only five days!"

"Weeell..." The Doctor rubbed his neck and threw a glance at the Master.

He only grinned nastily.

"I really love their culture and all the old stories," I admitted. "It would be so cool to... to..."

"Just see for yourself?" the Master offered.

"Yeah."

The Doctor sighed, casting another warning glance at his fellow Time Lord.

"Alright. Why not. There seems to be going on something, anyway. People are tense and I saw lots of damaged houses in the village. Maybe we... or just _I_ can find out what's happening. Perhaps help."

The Master snorted. "Whatever. Being a prisoner in the TARDIS or here, doesn't matter." He stepped to the fireplace and threw some cut logs in the pit. There was a whole bunch of them lying next to it, getting less and less visible with the sinking sun. "Quite the change in scenery. From the fires of Satan's hell to the icy lands of ancient gods."

He chuckled and held something towards the logs, which I could not see in the dark. A second later there was a short beam of light, then a flame. Fire licked its way through the wood, illuminated the room and ourselves.

"Where have you gotten that screwdriver again?" the Doctor called out. "I locked it away!"

"Yup." The Master smirked at him and gave me a wink. "The two of us built a new one."

"Wha'? I certainly didn't..."

"No? Think again."

My mouth dropped open when I remembered that he had built something before I had slept. To be fair, had I known what it would become, I _still_ would have helped. So I simply shrugged and gave the Doctor a half-heartedly apologetic smile, which made him sigh again.

"Master, don't do anything really stupid, okay?" he almost pleadingly warned. "I swear, I'll snatch you out of this time line, otherwise, and lock you up, while we're here."

"Uh-oh, now I'm scared."

I nudged the Master's side and nodded towards the Doctor. "Come on. I don't want to have to endure him all alone."

"Fair objection."

"Oi!" the Doctor made indignantly.

"By the way," the Master drawled, ignoring the response. He eyed me from the side. "The names you told them..."

"Ohhh, err..." I grinned shyly and kneaded my fingers. "I thought they would find our names quite strange, so... Leaknir literally means ' _doctor_ '. And Erik... if I'm correct it means something along the lines of _'king of all_ '."

"I think, I like that." The Master chuckled. "And what does Roka mean? Is that a boy's name?"

"More androgynous." I shrugged. "Means ' _crow_ '. I uh... wrote a story in this setting once and had to look up lots of names... that's why I recalled a few." I smiled and glanced away, then straightened. "Anyway, I'll get some water from outside. There's got to be a wooden tub or so in here."


	39. Part VI (III)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, yeah... don't get drunk on mead, kids. Headaches are horrible. lol  
> It wasn't even that much... aaaaaanyway.... enjoy!
> 
> Also, I alway forget people outside of Germany celebrate on the 25th, not the 24th... so... Merry Christmas!

The food Gerion's wife brought was simple. Freshly caught fish, mushrooms, root vegetables and some bread. Enough to sate us, and strangely tasty despite the plainness. Or maybe even because of it. Since I didn't have breakfast, this was my first meal anyway. Only the Master complained, stole some of the Doctor's share and didn't show even the slightest sign of remorse at the other one's devastated face.

After the meal we sat around the fire, whilst wind was howling outside. I was hellishly tired after this day, only halfway listening to the Doctor's ramblings about how he had showed the people here some new techniques to hang up... I didn't remember what. Something about the decorations. It wasn't important. And eventually the two started bickering anyway.

"I'm going to crawl under some of those pelts," I mumbled, heaving myself from the log I had been sitting on. "What're you guys doing? You don't sleep as much, do you?"

"Nah, not necessary." The Doctor waved it away with a grin. "I might stroll around outside for a bit. Watch the stars. Something like that. Might go back to the TARDIS and get a few books."

"You mean, sneaking around and see if you can find out what's bothering people here?" the Master mocked, smiling satisfied as the other Time Lord winced a little at his words. "Eh, whatever. I'll come along, before I die of boredom."

"Y... you sure?"

The Master shot him a dark look. "Yes. And you better keep your babbly mouth shut. If I have to stay among those primitives, at least I need something to do."

I giggled quietly and left the main room to enter one of the smaller ones. It actually were only niches, covered by some cloth, instead of having a door. In each of the few sat a straw bed with linen beddings and pelts for blankets.

* * *

.

* * *

I dreamed of the sea. Of a roaring thunder storm, raging above grey waves. A sail flapped above my head, about to snap or tear. It was cold and wet and there were screams. And the sound of huge wings above our heads-

With a gasp I awoke, shivering from the intensity of the past images. There was no storm, only the wind, howling over the roof, reaching inside every crack of the wood. It was pitch black and cold, even under the pelts. The shine from the fire was gone, so the Time Lords were probably still out.

I honestly had no clue how to make a fire without the modern comfort of a lighter, so I stayed in bed, ignoring the cold and the dark and the wind that sounded like wings. How much time passed like that I could not know, but at one point I heard the door creak open, steps entering. Shortly after there was an orange glow shining through the cloth, illuminating the tiny room a little.

Immediately I felt safer, the images of my dreams and of the fantasies the darkness had invoked left me.

"Still asleep."

I heard the words, almost whispered. My eyes crept open, finding the Master poking his head into the room. When he saw I reacted, he slipped in, looking almost uncomfortable for a second, before he straightened. He had changed clothes, still all in black, but now it was only a short-sleeved tunic with a belt around his waist, instead of a gambeson.

"'s still night," I mumbled sleepily. "What'd you want? 'n where's the Doctor? Y'haven't murdered him, have ya?"

The Master chuckled. "No, sadly not. I fled his endless ramblings. Wandered around the area for a bit, but it's honestly rather boring. No idea what you like about it so much." He leaned with folded arms against the door frame. "Found some interesting tracks, though. The wind has already destroyed them, so they might fool me, but..."

"But your gut tells you there's more to it?" Yawning I sat up, wrapping one of the pelts around my shoulders.

I had mostly undressed, was only wearing some undershirt and shorts. And it was weird to see clear, since I hadn't taken out the contact lenses. According to the Doctor, I could wear them for roughly a month, before I'd have to change them.

"Something like that," the Master admitted. He seemed strangely thoughtful.

"Hey, can I ask you something?" Since he was here anyway, and obviously in the mood to keep me awake, I could at least try to squeeze some information out of him. His eyebrow shot up, as a question, maybe as a sign for me to continue. I had no clue and spoke anyway. "It's uh... because of this whole telepathy thing." Now I had his attention, but suddenly felt insecure and anxious to actually ask about it.

"Go on." He nodded.

"I... I don't understand any of it. But it seems to help you, doesn't it?"

I remembered how he had held me the last night. I had been asleep too fast to know how long he had stayed, but still...

The Master squinted his eyes at me, scowling.

"Maybe it does. What's it to you?"

"Mostly? Curiosity," I admitted. "For me it's a completely foreign thing and... Dunno how to put it. It seems so..."

He chuckled and tossed an mused glance at me. "Intimate?"

Well, that wasn't the word I had wanted to use, but only because I didn't _want_ to think of it as such. Was it, though? Was it for him? The Master laughed quietly and strode closer, dropping to the bed to sit there cross-legged (at least he had no shoes on), facing me.

"I'm still not sure it really does something," he told. "Not... in a direct sense. The drums are still there, but..." His gaze drifted away, seeking for words. "It's like I get distracted. And then I don't notice them so much. For a while."

"That's... better than nothing, isn't it?"

He frowned, pursing his lips slightly. "Not enough." He tapped against his head. "That bloody noise is in my head all the time, never stops, never quiet. It drives me mad. Some days more than others."

"And right now?" I had a sense he was keeping me awake because he needed some distraction. Having something like that permanently in one's head surely must be bothersome.

The Master shrugged. "Not worse, not better."

"Then buzz off and le'me sleep."

He snickered. "Didn't you want to learn about something, just now?"

Okay, he _was_ searching for distraction. I groaned and shook my head. "Yeah, no... not now. When I'm properly awake."

The wind howled, tore at the house. I shivered, wishing for the warmth of the fire to spread faster. The Master seemed to notice too, his eyes wandering to the ceiling for a moment, before they returned to me.

"I'm sure you'll understand while only half awake," he mocked and leaned a little forward. "And I'm bored anyway."

"I get it. I've got nothing to say in this." I let out a pointedly annoyed sigh. "'kay, shoot, 'n don't you dare taking me for stupid."

"So, skip the basics?" He poked out his tongue, eyes crinkled with mirth.

"I hate you."

"Doubtable. Alright, the basics then." He chuckled.

"'n what if I just lay down again 'n ignore you?" I mumbled, willing to do exactly that.

"Really wanna find out?" His smile was charming, dangerous.

I snorted out a chuckle, rubbed over my tired eyes and slightly shook my head. If I weren't so knackered I'd actually be thrilled to get that lesson, so I straightened a little and gave him my attention.

"'kay, 'kay. 'm listening."

Gods, what would I give for a coffee, right now.

"Good little human," the Master mocked and clapped his hands together.

He made himself comfortable on my bed, sitting in an almost meditative position, right in front of me, obviously far too happy about his silly victory. I, too, sat a little straighter; the only way to feel a little more awake. That and the fact that I was, indeed, curious about what he would tell.

"You already know that it's about touch," he started and reached out his palms towards me. "It's actually as simple as that."

Confused I blinked until I understood that he wanted my hands. So I stretched them out and he slowly stroked a finger over my bare arm, making me shiver as the touch sent a light tingling straight into my mind.

"For a mental contact we need skin, or... rather nerve endings. The more of those touch, the deeper the connection. You can literally _feel_ it. Close your eyes, lil' lumin and listen to it."

So I did, breathing slow and paying close attention to what was going on in my head. His finger drew a line over the back of my arm, then slowly to its more sensitive underside, and I could indeed feel how the connection strengthened. The Master took my other hand, as well, turned both in a way that my palms faced him directly. His hands slid over them, hovered over my fingertips with his own for a moment, then pressed them together.

I gasped, temporarily overwhelmed by his presence in my head. And... mine in his. Like an opened flood gate, a stream of energy. We poured into each other like smoke, spread, hovered, tasted, explored. It wasn't like the last time, however. I didn't lose the sense for myself, still felt my own body, my heart, thudding frantically against its cage, pulse throbbing in my fingertips. But I also felt parts of _his_ mind, shapes and movements, vague hints of emotions maybe.

Then it was gone.

My hands fell down onto the pelts, my eyes opened, my ears heard the wind rattling at the wood, heard the fire, faintly crackling in the other room.

The Master looked... confused.

"Did that hurt you?" he asked puzzled, but not concerned.

"N... no." I shook my head, uncertain why he had asked that.

"You reacted so strongly, I thought..."

"Did I?" I stared at my hands, then back at his face. "It didn't hurt. Not at all. It's just so... alien." I cringed at my own word, but I had no other to describe the feeling.

The Master lifted the brows, tilting his head a little. "You felt it before. And far more intense at that."

"Yeah... but then it was so much it was just... too much, you know?" I tried to explain, uselessly gesturing around with my hands. "Like when it's so loud you can't actually make out anything anymore."

"Mhm... I see."

He seemed in thoughts for a good minute, making me wonder how all of this might feel to _him_.

"So... nerve endings," I went on, tearing him out of the thoughts. "Explains why you thought, snogging me would be a good idea," I grumbled.

He giggled to himself, childishly.

"You'll never forgive me for that, he?" He chuckled some more and leaned forward, stretched his hand out toward my head, hesitated.

I wasn't sure what he wanted to do. His hand hovered near my temple, his eyes rested on mine, boring into me as if he contemplated hypnotism. His head moved a little closer and I froze, but he stopped there, near enough to unnerve me. His hand lowered, thumb stroking over my lower lip. The mental connection flared alive again, almost as strong as before.

"Now imagine how intense it would have been," he whispered, "had I used my tongue."

I swallowed, unsure if I should move away or if I was too hellishly curious. In the end I did nothing and the Master moved away from me again to sit straight. A breath escaped me, accompanied by an involuntary shiver. Losing the mental contact felt almost as intense as gaining it. I swallowed again, peeked up at the Master and found his eyes alight with amusement and a little mockery.

"W… wa... wait. If it gets _that_ intense… And if this is about nerve endings…"

An impish grin faded onto his lips.

"I mean… No idea what you guys have down there," I babbled on, gesturing towards his crotch, "but doesn't that get… _really_ intense?"

"It does." The Master chuckled.

If it was that overwhelming just from a kiss... I couldn't even remotely imagine how... The Master laughed out, tearing me out of the thought. Confused I looked at him.

"You're hilarious, you know that?" he taunted. "Did you just seriously contemplate sleeping with me, just to find out?"

"Wha'? No! _Hell no!_ " I called out, blushing slightly. Okay, maybe I _had_. For a second. A very short one.

"Liar." He giggled and poked my head. "That curiosity of yours will be your death, one day. You know that?"

"Shut up." I shoved him away with both hands, unable to keep the grin from my face.

The Master hopped from the bed and wanted to leave.

"Oi, don't just run off," I scolded. "You woke me _and_ didn't let me sleep. I barely learned anything. At least tell me some more."

"Maybe tomorrow night." He turned to me, grinning nastily. "You're not the most important thing on my list."

I groaned annoyed and dropped back while he left, giggling to himself. _Bugger_. Well, he had offered me enough knowledge to lay awake for another while. There were so many things I still didn't understand. And I sensed that he wasn't entirely honest about what effect I had on his drums; why I had an effect at all.

At least there was a fire again, crackling in the cold of night. The wind was still howling, rattling at the wood, sometimes... just sometimes... sounding like huge wings, flapping above my head.


	40. Part VI (IV)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I swear, I have no idea how that happened! (No, I don't believe it either.)
> 
> Well... quite the long chapter, this time. Compared to the others...  
> Holiday chapters are done now. Next one will take a while. xD

People sleep when it's dark and rise, when the sun does. Or so they used to do, in these times. I, on the other hand, was awake before the sun showed her face, unable to fall back asleep. The fire had gone out again, leaving the house in icy coldness.

Only a thick candle illuminated the main room, just bright enough to vaguely make things out. There were firestones and tinder and wood and all that. I glared at the stuff with pursed lips. Making a fire without burning down the house should be possible, shouldn't it? Otherwise I would also have to wash with cold water.

Then again... I really didn't dare starting a fire on my own.

"I really am a weakling," I grumbled to myself, grabbing the candle.

Beside the sleeping niches there was only one other room, in which the tub stood. And a bucket of water, that was still half filled. _Well, fuck it_ , I thought and got myself somewhat clean. The cold water made me shiver at first, but then forced my body to heat up on its own. In the end I splashed the rest over my head, gasping for air, but feeling not too bad, in the end.

There was no food left from the evening. And, obviously, also no coffee.

Who again had begged to stay here?

I sighed, rubbed my eyes and donned my boots and cloak. Should I leave a... well, _I had_ nothing to leave a note. How did people communicate back then? Scratching my head I stared at the door, wondering if the Time Lords would look for me at Gerion's or if they'd be worried.

The Master certainly not.

The Doctor probably was too distracted for worries.

In the end I only shrugged, put out the candle and left the house, pulling the heavy wooden door close behind me. No lock. Of course not. Why would anyone lock their door here? I huffed and walked through the sleeping village. Only a few people were out already, using the diffuse light to prepare things.

I saw what the Doctor had helped doing, yesterday. There were evergreen and pine twigs, mistletoes and red berries on the houses. All signs for life and growth. Speckles of colour in the seemingly everlasting winter months. I ended up in front of the mead hall, admiring the needle trees in front of it. They also were decorated, with wooden figures of the gods and apples, mostly. It made me smile to think about how Christians had stolen all those old traditions to transform them into what people in my time knew as Christmas. Almost all of it can be traced back to Yule.

What I also had seen was the damaged houses, the burnt down ruins of what once were homes. One part of the village was almost completely destroyed. We hadn't past that one, yesterday and I wondered what had happened. Another tribe maybe. In these days they often fought for land and power. But usually they would choose open fields for that. Destroying what one strived to own wasn't a very wise tactic.

"Roka?"

I startled, spinning around. In the silence of the destruction I hadn't heard anyone approach. Now I saw it was Ivar, without his bow, but with a small basked propped against his hip.

"What happened here?" I asked, gesturing towards the destruction. "Raiders?"

"No. Don't come here anymore, yeah?" It wasn't a threat, only a warning, softly spoken.

"Alright, but..."

Ivar shook his head and smiled. "Don't think about it. We have to deal with it ourselves. Come, I bet you don't have any food. But there are plenty of fish in the sea." He shook his small basket and nodded towards the shore.

When I had first seen him, yesterday, Ivar had seemed quite young. The impression didn't change now. He probably wasn't much older than I, his features neither edged nor soft. Somewhere in-between. The beard definitely made him look a little rougher.

I followed him silently, although my curiosity regarding the burned houses was almost overwhelming. As I got aware of it, I inwardly scolded myself, remembering the Master's words from last night. He probably was right. One day it would kill me.

"You went fishing so early in the morning?" I eventually asked, just to distract myself.

"Sure. No better time for it. No one is out stirring the water." He chuckled and stopped, setting the basket into the sand, only a few meters away from the water. "Here, start the fire already, I'll disembowel the fish meanwhile." With that he tossed some firestones in my direction and nodded towards a prepared fireplace.

I frowned at it and at the stones in my hands, cursing inwardly for not having practiced it in the house. Then again, I wasn't willing to let show that I was clueless and squatted down to hit the stones against each other. There was tinder on the bottom of the fireplace, igniting that should be enough, right?

"Having trouble?" came a happy, familiar voice. I glanced up, finding the Doctor standing in the sand, hands in his coat pockets, a grin on his face. "Come on, how hard can it be to got some sparks in the right place?"

"Don't scold the boy," Ivar said calmly. "If you don't teach him anything, he can't know."

"Riiiight," the Doctor said slowly. "Weeell, I wasn't scolding." He squatted down next to me and took the firestones. "It's really not that hard, see?"

I watched closely and took the stones myself to successfully light a small flame. The sight warmed my heart with a little pride, that grew only in size when the Doctor gave me an appreciating smile. It hadn't been often in my life that people had given me the chance to be of use, had never taught me much and always left me on my own with everything, only to then blame me if I couldn't do things properly.

"What about the fish?" Ivar pointed at the ones in the basket. "Want to help with those?"

"Not me, nope," the Doctor declined. "I'm really not made for the bloody work."

"I'll help," I agreed, kneeling down next to the black haired.

He smiled and gave me a small knife, showing me how I had to cut. "And then you can just pull out everything at once, see?"

I nodded and wasn't too bad at following his example. We tossed the innards into the sea and roasted the prepared fish above the flames, watching the sun rise over the water.

"Such a simple life, isn't it?" the Doctor commented. "Sooooo boring. But here and there it's good to remind oneself of... just how it could be."

"You speak as if your life is quite different from ours," Ivar answered, picking up one of the fish to test them. He reached another one towards me.

"Weeeell... in a way, yes. In lots of ways, actually. Far too many ways to even start." He, too, took a fish and started eating, luckily being quiet in the process. Not for long, though."Say, Ivar," he continued, "what caused the fires in your village? They are not from any raiders, right? And I found some strange..."

"It would be safer for you and your companions to keep your head out of this. We can deal with it." Ivar never raised his voice, and still there was a dangerous edge to it, all of a sudden.

"But we could help."

"No." Again it was softly spoken, but determined. "I do not know where you come from, but of the three of you, Erik seems to be the only one who is forged for battle. And _he_ does not seem like one to use his skills to help."

"There are ways to deal with dangers, without fighting them with axes," the Doctor countered.

"True. But not this one."

Ivar got up and shoved sand over the fire with his boot. "I cannot stop you from poking your nose into things, traveller. It is only a well meant warning."

* * *

.

* * *

When we arrived at the forge, Gerion stood behind his anvil, while the Master – again in his gambeson – waited on a stool, a sword laying over his knees and another, smaller one, sticking out next to him from a heap of snow. When he saw us approach, a nasty smirk foretold nothing good.

"As it seems," he drawled, staring at the sword in the snow, "it is my task to nudge some dents into you, today."

He didn't move. Only his eyes wandered to me, glinting with a dangerous promise. I swallowed, getting nervous. The blacksmith was strong and fast, but nonetheless human. The Master, on the other hand... His lips widened to a toothy, wolfish grin. He rose from the stool, grabbed the small sword and held it with the hilt towards me.

He barely left me enough time to grip tight, pushed against my shoulder to let me stumble backwards and almost fall. I had never held a sword and simply did what I had practised yesterday with the axe, tearing it upwards to shield my head from the incoming blow. The Master let his sword clash against mine, the impact shuddered through my hands painfully, almost making me drop the weapon.

"Well, the reflexes aren't so bad."

"They'd be better if my muscles wouldn't ache so much from yesterday," I grumbled, lowering the sword.

"Say that to an enemy." The nasty grin was back.

I took a breath, gripped the handle and took on the stance Gerion had taught me. Still, the next attack sent me right to my butt and suddenly I lay there, facing a blade that pointed at my throat.

"Dead." The Master's voice was rough, cold.

"Stop that." I tried to push his sword away, but couldn't. There was something in his eyes, a deadly glint, as if he could hardly keep himself from slicing my throat. "Master," I breathed warningly, feeling the sword press against my skin.

Then it was gone and he chuckled while I heaved myself from the ground. There was no blood, no wound, but I could still feel the cold steel.

"You're not going to land a blow by just standing there." He waved, having his sword leaned against his shoulder.

I steadied myself, gripping the weapon tighter. That one day hadn't taught me enough to really attack. I could barely defend myself and even that with more luck than skill. And I also was a little scared I might accidentally hurt him. Alien or not, being unskilled could be more dangerous than anything else. Slowly I took a few steps to the right, then one forward, but stopped.

The Master used my hesitation to shoot at me like a lightning bolt, weapon clinging against mine. Catching the blow pressed all air out of my lungs and I stumbled back, quickly raising the sword again when I saw the Master came after me. The strikes weren't that hard, but enough to exhaust me quickly. He left me enough room for counter attacks, smirking snidely when I didn't use them.

Suddenly my back hit a wall and with a loud thud the Master's sword drove into wood, only a centimetre away from my head. I would only have to move in a wrong way to cut myself. And would I move forward... a smaller blade was on my throat. Only a knife, slightly pressing against my pulse. Our eyes met, his filled with a mad gleam, a barely contained urge to hurt, accompanied by a not less threatening grin.

My pulse thudded against the blade, breath coming rapidly. The Master chuckled.

"Never let such chances slip, lil' lumin. You could have done the whole universe a great service, just now."

"I... what? Even if... you would have just evaded."

"You could still have been lucky." The blade scratched my skin. Only a little. "Lucky, stupid little human." He leaned down to my eyelevel, grin wide. "I can barely keep myself from slicing you up."

"Master," I almost whispered, but the knife only cut deeper.

Something warm slid down my throat, telling me he wasn't going to stop. The irises of his eyes almost completely swallowed the hazel, left nothing but blackness. It hurt. But the way he acted scared me a lot more than the pain. The Master seemed to be completely out of control, his own self slipping from him, swallowed by a darkness he couldn't fight.

I dropped the sword and reached up, closed my hand around his fist that held the knife. There was no mental contact, not even a tingle. He was completely closed off.

"Master, you're scaring me," I whispered.

And that seemed to help. The grin faded, the pressure against my throat lessened, but the darkness in his gaze stayed. The Master pushed himself away from the wall, left the sword sticking in the wood. His eyes wandered over me, nose wrinkled in disgust.

"Pathetic thing you are," he only remarked, turned around and just left.

I watched him, unable to understand what had just happened.

* * *

.

* * *

"There you are. Gerion said you and Erik had a fight. And it escalated a little." It was Ivar, his steps crunching on the stones. "You're alright? He said you were bleeding."

I only grumbled something inaudible, not in the mood to speak. After the fight I had wandered off, had strolled through the nearby woods until I had found a nice spot in the warm sun, near a creek.

Ivar sat next to me and nudged me with his shoulder. "You'll get sick if you keep sitting here."

"I don't care," I mumbled. "I'm completely useless anyway."

The black haired laughed. "What makes you think that?"

I turned my head towards him, scowling. "You don't even know me. But even _you_ saw that I can't do shit. And people hate me for it. It's always the same," I spat. "My whole fucking life has been like this."

"Don't be so hard on yourself." He smiled and ruffled through my hair. "Gerion told me he was surprised how fast you learned, yesterday. And he liked that you thought for yourself instead of bluntly following his orders."

"He didn't. You just made that up."

Ivar laughed, stood and reached a hand out to me. "No, it's true. Come."

"Where to?"

"Hunting." He grinned. "Some meat for diner is always nice."

I blinked at his offered hand, searched for anything mocking in his features, but found nothing. He wasn't teasing me, was just... friendly. For a moment I hesitated, but then took his hand.

* * *

.

* * *

We were quiet, most of the time, to not scare away the wildlife. It had something soothing to it, wandering through the snow covered forest, having the crystal clear silence of winter around us. Ivar taught me how to avoid making much noise, showed me the different footprints of animals and where to best search for them.

He also let me practice with his bow, patiently let me try a few shots. Pulling the bowstring wasn't easy for me, neither was aiming. Two rabbits kept their life this day, three more lost it, although not by _my_ hand.

Darkness had already settled when we returned, the village only illuminated by the bleeding out light from fires in wooden homes. My breath evaporated in front of me, raised up to the stars in the clear evening sky. I followed Ivar home, helped him skinning and gutting the rabbits. A part of it was for my companions, the rest...

"Come back, yeah?" Ivar told. "I'm sure they can handle the meat themselves."

"Huh, come back? Here?"

"My mother taught me to prepare the best rabbit stew you'll ever eat, promise." He winked at me with a happy smile.

More lessons. Why not. He was a good teacher and the Time Lords probably had nothing interesting to do for me anyway. Let alone the fact that I wasn't so keen on seeing the Master.

It didn't take me long to return. No one had been in the guest house, so I had simply left the meat there. It wouldn't spoil, given how cold it was in the hut.

The stew was already cooking over Ivar's fire pit, smelling delicious. Since morning I hadn't eaten and now my body let me know how straining the day had been. There was no rest yet, however, as we went out to chop some wood, while the food was cooking.

"See?" Ivar eventually said, smiling. "You _are_ capable."

My axe splintered the log in half and I watched sceptically as the wood clumsily fell down. Today I had tried a lot of new things, but hadn't really succeeded at any of them. Still, I gave him a thankful smile and followed inside, where we finally ate. And it was indeed delicious.

"Thanks for today," I mumbled, placing the emptied bowl next to the fire. "That was fun."

Ivar smiled, heaved the pot down and put it aside. The fire spread warmth and cosiness through his house, where I sat on pelts on the floor. He dropped down next to me, staring into the flames for a bit.

"Are women treated so badly where you come from?"

Perplex I looked up at him. "What do you mean?"

Ivar smiled. "Why else would you pretend to be a boy?"

 _Shit_. Well... it had only been a question of time before anyone would notice. He laughed at my shocked face and nudged me. "I won't tell anyone. But it wasn't hard to see. So... are they mean to you?"

I shrugged, deciding to stick to the truth.

"No. They aren't. Just..." Weird, I saw only curiosity on his face, where I had awaited judgement and maybe even rejection. "I... didn't want to be _treated_ differently. Not as if... I'm weak."

Ivar huffed out a laugh. "Your people seem to be strange. Our shield maidens are as fierce as our warriors. And even those who do not fight... no one would dare to call them weak."

"Then your people are better than mine," I grumbled, remembering how often people had refused to teach or let me do things, only because of my gender. "It's so weird. The lives you live... it's so much... simpler."

"Simpler?" Ivar chuckled. "How can it be simple to struggle for survival each day? Is it so different in your settlement?"

Settlement... If only he knew about the cities, seemingly reaching from horizon to horizon, about villages that were as large as whole kingdoms in his days. "We don't have to worry about shelter and food so much," I told. "Life is easier, but still a lot more... complicated." I glared at the flames, sighing. "Here, life is harder in itself, but... simpler. Just that."

"I think I understand. In a way." Ivar sounded thoughtful, eyed me from the side. Suddenly there was a smile on his face, the blue of his eyes reflecting the warmth of the fire. "You could stay here."

My heart leapt to my throat. Could I? In my own time no one was missing me. The Doctor was accepting my presence, but only half willingly. The Master... I still couldn't place _his_ intentions. It seemed he still hated me, on some level, could hardly keep himself from killing me, even. The only reason he didn't do so, was because he thought I might be useful in the future. And maybe a little because of his drums.

Useful. My gaze dropped to the floor.

"I'd only be a burden to everyone here," I mumbled bitterly.

He nudged me with his shoulder and laughed. "Look what you've learned in a single day. How old are you anyway? There's enough time to learn."

"Older than I look." I sighed, glancing at Ivar, who still leant against my shoulder with a warm smile. It was so easy to talk to him, somehow. "I'm... thirty-one, actually."

"Two years younger than I. See? That's no age." He poked my arm. "And you're not weak either."

At that I huffed, but leaned a little against his shoulder. It almost happened without thought, just some comfort seeking.

"Look," Ivar continued, "I have no idea how people live in your place. But it seems you never had to wield a weapon, or to hunt."

"Yeah, yeah, rub it in."

He chuckled and poked me again until I looked at him. There was amusement in his gaze, but also a friendly warmth. "And despite that, when Gerion asked you to pick up an axe and fight, you did without hesitating. When I gave you my bow and told you to shoot, you also did." Ivar leaned a little closer and fixated my eyes, his voice was soft, pleasant even. "I see no fear in you. A lot of sadness, yes, but _not_ weakness."

I swallowed and smiled a little at his words.

"You really don't need to hide, Roka. You possess a strength that others don't." My breath hitched when he reached up a hand to cup the side of my face. "Where others would hesitate, you don't even ask."

"I... can't see that in myself," I confessed quietly, leaning just a tiny little bit closer. What was I doing there? I shouldn't... shouldn't fall for how easy this felt.

"That's a shame," he muttered, a little closer now, lingering, hovering. "There is such a fascinating fire burning in your eyes."

Ivar leaned forward, carefully moved his lips against mine, testing. For a second I froze, just savouring the sensation, then responded, eyes fluttering shut. My hand played with his beard and he smiled when I couldn't resist tugging a little at it. The kiss broke off, but we stayed, hovering. I returned the smile, shyly, but then caught his bottom lip between mine, urging to resume what we had started. What was there to lose?

Ivar's hands were on my side, sliding up feather-light under the tunic until they reached the binder. I was sure there was nothing the like in his time, but the buckles got opened nonetheless. He smirked a little proudly and gently pulled the tunic over my head.

"See? Nothing to hide."

No, there wasn't. There was no reason to be uncomfortable, every doubt melting away from his reassuring look. I hooked a finger into his collar and helped getting rid of his shirt. The cloth landed on the ground, quickly forgotten, replaced by my fingers that wandered over his skin, my eyes admiring the tattoos he had on his chest and arms, tracing along some scars.

"I need a few tattoos on my own," I mumbled, smiling.

"That won't be a problem." Carefully he pushed me down by my shoulders, lay me back onto the warm, soft pelts. His finger traced along my collar bone, making me shiver. "Here would a great spot for a crow."

He chuckled and lay next to me on the pelts. I turned to face him, admiring the warm blue of his eyes until he drew me against him to resume the kiss from before. How could this be so easy, I wondered. I felt warm and secure and smiled a little at how gentle he was, how we both took our times, savouring the presence of the other one. There was no hurry, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 👀


	41. Part VI (V)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 40 chapters in already... wow. That's either a good thing or I have serious problems...  
> Taking my Master obsession into consideration it probably is the latter...
> 
> Anyway. I wish you all a great start into 2021. May this year bring some well deserved peace and quiet back to the world.

Waves crashed over my head, dark and cold and loud, almost drowning out the roaring thunder, rolling over the black sea. Water was in my eyes, in my clothes, everywhere, freezing my hands that tried desperately to hold on to the ship somehow. A dragon's head, made from ancient wood, ploughed through the seemingly impenetrable darkness.

There was a scream, but no one was on the ship with me. Another screech... unnatural, inhuman. It was that of a raven. Huge, black wings spread in the mist of spraying water, rose above my head with the crushing waves, tall as a mountain. And there was a man, old and with only one eye, suddenly sitting on the ship with me, so calm as if the chaos around had no meaning to him.

Smoke. The wings were of black smoke, twisting and swirling in their form, mesmerizing, frightening. It was...

 _...the void calling to you_ , the old man quietly finished my thought, without moving his lips.

His voice was that of an old tree, quiet and rough, but still clearly audible through the thunder. His eye fixated me, trapped my gaze so I couldn't watch the wings any longer. But I felt them, their cold touch, icier than the water, swallowing me into the darkness and...

I gasped, eyes snapping open. Frantically I sat up, looking around the quiet room, trying to find the smoky wings to... to...

"You're alright?"

I sagged together, finally waking up enough to know it had just been a dream. This wasn't the ocean, it was Ivar's hut, calm and warm from the fire. With a sigh I lay back on the bed and snuggled myself under the blanket again, facing the black haired men beside me. He looked worried.

"'twas just a nightmare," I mumbled, immediately feeling the cold images fade as Ivar snaked his arm around my middle to pull me closer.

"It's the long darkness," he murmured against my ear. "It plays tricks on your mind."

"Maybe... good thing it's Yule soon."

"Alas..."

I shifted a little to look at him. "But then the light comes back. That's a good thing."

He smiled sadly. "Mhm... The light returns and so do you. To wherever you came from."

I lowered my eyes, pondered for a while, without really having a clear thought. "You don't even know me," I only mumbled. "Why would you want me to stay?"

Ivar chuckled, stroked finger over my cheek, warm, gentle. "You truly are from another place. Do you not know? When you live, knowing you could die any day, you cling to whatever life gives you in the moment. What does tomorrow matter when I can have today?"

My eyes closed, my body relaxed, felt warm, so snuggled up. Yeah, what did it matter? If only I could think like that, if only my mind wouldn't spin all those threads and possibilities.

"You might end up not liking me anymore," I mumbled sadly. It always happened. Sooner or later people come to notice how different I was from them. And then they push me away, leave me alone without as much as a goodbye. Always. There had never been a single exception. "And then I'd be stranded in a place that isn't my own, with people that don't want me and nowhere to go."

Ivar held me, nuzzled my hair, just breathing. He smelled like leaves and snow, reminding me of the calm woods. Those people lived and thought so differently to what I was used to. Maybe they wouldn't mind, maybe...

"What did you dream?" he softly murmured, his thumb stroking over my site.

I told him, in as much detail as I could remember.

"That is a strange dream, little one. You know who often disguises as an old man?"

"Yeah... it is said Odin likes to do that. To wander amongst humans to watch and to seek new knowledge." I smiled. Gods weren't real. Not like that. "I always liked him, somehow. A god who is on a constant search for wisdom. It's like... he is just one of us, in a way. So much more powerful, but still... a person."

Ivar laughed. "What else would he be?"

"I know of another god. And people make him... so elusive. Like he is everything and has no faults, possesses all knowledge there is and all power over everything."

"I see... you came from the land of the Christians. That is why you're so weird." He shifted a little to look at me, leaned down and kissed me softly. "But you know so much of our stories." He smiled against my lips. "Why is that?"

"'m not a Christian." Absently I played with the strands of his beard. "Their god is so... so far away. It's so hard to believe in him. But yours... your gods... they are just people." Playfully I tugged at him, coaxing another kiss from his lips. "So powerful. But they have friends and enemies, sons and daughters, lovers and husbands. They have a story, they live and die, mourn and celebrate, like everyone else."

"Yeah. One day even your people will understand this."

If only. My smile faded and I curled myself up against Ivar's chest. I wouldn't tell him. That his gods would become nothing more but stories on Youtube and in Comics. That the Christians would one day steal all their traditions to make them into their own, that only a few people remained to believe in what he now thought as real. And that they were mostly smiled upon and called crazy.

* * *

.

* * *

" _Where_ were you?" The Master's voice sounded incredibly indignant, as if I had offended him.

Right now I was with Gerion, sparring with an axe again. It got a little easier. The movements turning into something that, one day, might even become reflex. Not that I would have the time for that... The blacksmith returned to his forge at the other side of the field and I leaned the axe against a tree that was standing nearby.

"Not there," I offered with a shrug.

"I noticed."

My eyes were watching the nearby sea and the crows fluttering over farms. The tone of his words made me look at the Master.

"Didn't think you'd be concerned. Wasn't even sure the two of you would return for the night."

He lifted a brow and let a smirk show. "And I thought you were so eager to learn more about telepathy."

Right... I was. "And that _has_ to be in the middle of the night, when I actually want to _sleep_?" I mocked. "Don't tell me you had _such_ important things to do the whole day."

"Sassy."

I stepped in front of him, giving him an annoyed glare. "And you're an arsehole."

"Tell me something new." His mouth widened to a grin, arms folded in front of his chest.

Alright. He seemed to be in a provoking mood. And it was riling me up a lot more than it should.

"Want me to train with you again?" he offered with a twinkle in his eyes.

I huffed. "Yeah... no. Seriously, if you want to bully me, just piss off. I don't need a rerun of yesterday. I know you're stronger and faster than humans. Don't need a reminder, thanks."

Strangely enough his eyes dropped at my words. For a second he looked almost a little sorry. Almost. I wondered if he had really just been a sod, the day before, or if he had lost control over himself. Not that it mattered too much. The result was the same and by now I came not to expect an apology from him.

There was something else, however, I needed to know. So I sighed and looked at him. "Regarding telepathy... did you... I'm not sure it's related or not, I just keep having really strange dreams. Maybe..."

His relaxed pose stiffened, eyes suddenly on me, fixating. The Master took a step towards me, his face as serious as I had seldom seen it before. "What kind of dreams?"

"It's... hard to describe. The images alone aren't telling much. It's more how they... feel. Can't you just look at them yourself?" I shrugged.

"Mhm," he made, raising his hands. But before he could touch me he blinked confused and hesitated. His eyes narrowed to tight slits, distracting me for a moment. Long enough to make me wince in surprise when his fingers connected with my temples.

Images flashed before my eyes. And they were not from the dreams, but from the evening before.

"Jeez, you were busy," he commented dryly.

I tore myself away from him, a scowl on my face. "That's none of your business," I grumbled.

Strangely enough... the Master seemed _pissed_. Everything about him radiated it, starting from the angry look on his face.

"What do you think, you're _doing_ there?" he snarled, towering himself above me.

My mouth dropped open, closed again. I shook my head in disbelief. "First of all – you have _no_ rights whatsoever to just dig out random memories," I scolded angrily. "And just for the record – I'm an adult and I can do whatever the hell I _want_. And with whom."

"You really think so?"

"Well... duh!" I rolled my eyes.

"And then what?" the Master spat.

Confused I blinked at him. As he got no answer the rage in his eyes only increased, almost physically radiated from him. Without a warning he reached out, grabbed me by the collar and dragged me to the toes. Shocked I pushed my hands against his chest, trying to get free of his grip.

"What's your problem?" I whined annoyed.

"That you don't _think_ , ape," came the dark reply.

"'bout what, dammit? I'm on the pill, nothing can happen."

Okay, that probably wasn't the issue, but still. My hands pushed against his chest, barely managing to keep him at a distance. Under my palms I felt his double heartbeat, weirdly fast, next to fluttering.

It almost seemed as if he wouldn't say a word. He only glared at me, but then let go and hurled around.

"He'll die. Now," the Master muttered darkly, striding away with large steps.

He couldn't mean that, could he? "Don't you dare laying a hand on Ivar!" I called out, grabbing his elbow. The Master effortlessly tore himself out of my grip and marched away, me closely following. "Harm him and I'll never speak a word with you."

"Like I'd care," he grumbled.

"Well, you obviously _do_!" I ran ahead, blocking his way. The Master simply trod to the side, but I followed, almost making him bump into me, but he avoided so fast I couldn't keep up. He simply left me behind, standing there in utter confusion.

Somehow I managed to overcome my stupor and stormed after him. A thought popped up and I almost had to laugh. It was ridiculous, but right now hardly anything he did made sense.

"Don't tell me you're jealous," I deadpanned.

He growled angrily, stopped and hurled around, pushing against my shoulder to make me stumble away. "You don't even know him," he said, voice dark.

"You don't even know _me_ ," I countered immediately, arms crossing defensively over my chest.

There was something sinister in his eyes, something that told me this was about much more than I suspected. But his behaviour made me angry, in a way that it shouldn't. He had no right to ruin the one good thing in years, to just run ahead and murder the only person, who had been kind and nice to me.

"This is not..." The Master shook his head, clenched his hands to fists and released them again, surprisingly at a loss for words. "It's not... why the heck would I be _jealous_?"

"Then what the hell..." I paused, straightened. Listened.

There it was again. A faint noise, like a scream, but not a human sound, not that of an animal either. None that I knew, at least; deep and roaring. It seemed the Master heard it too. He looked around. The noise came again, a little louder this time.

A horn sounded through the whole village, it's moaning long and repeated two times. Doors flew open or slammed shut, people were running, shouting. Within a moment chaos was all around us. I had no clue where to go, what do. What was even _happening_?

The Master took a step back, reached a hand out to grab my arm or whatever, but didn't.

Fire.

It exploded in front of my eyes, bright and hot, raining down next to me in splinters of wood from what once had been a house. Everything happened so fast my mind couldn't catch up. The forge was burning! High blazed the flames, black smoke rising into the cold winter air. And there were...

Wings.

Grotesque swirling wings grew out of the black, as big as the house had been, twisting in size and shape, impossible to catch with sight alone.

A hand was in mine, tugged, tore, forced me to move, although my gaze kept glued to the dark mass in front of me. It had eyes, piercing purple, pulsating specs within the flames around. It _saw_. Saw me. Held me captive, froze my body.

A wall was in my back, something obscured my view. No. Someone. A hand waved in front of my face, made me blink in confusion. I glanced up, finding an equally puzzled look on the Master's face.

"Hey!" he called out. "Wake up!"

My mouth opened. There were words, but I couldn't speak them. I tried to look past him, turn around the corner of the house to look. Just look. The Master wouldn't let me, grabbed both of my shoulders and pressed them against the stone, chuckled.

"Yep. It's a dragon." The excitement in his voice was hard to miss.

"Th... the wings," I finally muttered. My body was shaking, pulse racing like mad. "Saw them... dreams. How... how..."

His face dropped. "Hey, snap out of it!" He shook me, then grabbed my arm and tore me to the side. "It's not a nightmare." Finally I had a view again, saw the flames devouring, growing. And a black mass slowly emerging from it. " _Look_ at the thing."

He was right. From the fire came no nightmarish abomination, no twisting mass of black smoky wings. Not the wings of ravens, either. They were huge, black, but leathery, and attached to a not less enormous body. The beast dropped forwards, stepped out of the fire and onto the field where I had trained, moments before. Its wings folded so it could use them as front legs, riddled with sharp claws. The body parts were muscular, neck and tail long and elegantly thin, giving it an almost cat-like appearance. It's head narrowed towards the snout to a longish triangular shape, with scaly fins instead of ears, and in deep sockets sat two purple eyes, glowing, mesmerizing.

I watched for what felt like hours, but could have only been seconds. The terror that had paralyzed me before slowly dissipated, got replaced by simple fear, but one I was able to control. Each time the dragon moved, the flames reflected in its black scales, let them shimmer in a beautiful manner. Its mouth opened, revealed not only sharp, long teeth, but also the source of the scream we had heard before. Raw and old and mighty.

"Oh, you bloody idiot," the Master grumbled next to me.

"I've done nothing," I ground out.

"Not you. The Doctor. There, look. Right in front of the head."

"There is no o..." I glared at the spot that clearly had been empty before, but now that I paid attention to it, I saw someone standing there, with a raised hand, pointing something towards the creature. It was weirdly hard to keep him in focus, as if he kept slipping out of my perception. "What's he doing?"

"Trying to play the hero again?" The Master shrugged.

The dragon seemed not to be aware of the man in front of it. Maybe it had as much trouble as I had, but in opposite to a human it clearly had some finer senses. The snout was searching the air, intelligent eyes roaming the field, the small fires. The Doctor ducked out of the way as the creature spun around, almost hitting the Time Lord with its tail. He kept scanning, however.

Until the dragon turned once more and lowered its head to the Doctor, mouth opening, nose sniffing. Something hit against the scales, ricocheted from the hard surface and dropped to the ground. A second thing hit, distracting the dragon from its prey.

The Master was throwing stones!

Surprised I saw him picking more up and aiming them, but the dragon seemed to have lost its interest.

Only that it hadn't. With a swift, elegant twirl it hurled around to the Doctor once more, opened the mouth to let out a dark roaring scream, then hit the Time Lord away with its wing. He flew backwards, against another house and lay still, whilst the creature swung itself back into the air with mighty, heavy flaps.

It searched around and found some sheep outside, shot towards them and grabbed one with its hind claws. The head snapped back, seemed to search the area where the Doctor had been. And, just to make sure, the dragon bent its head backwards and seemed to spit, only that a small ball of flames was emerging out its throat, racing towards the house the Doctor had sagged against. The ball erupted into an explosion of flames. Debris rained down on the field, smoke billowed out and obscured out vision.

Only then did the dragon fly away.

Only then did the Master start to run.


	42. Part VI (VI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So... 2021... same old, same old. Somehow it's only getting worse instead of better... but that seems to be the process with every shitty thing. It has to get really bad before it can start getting better again... right?
> 
> Eh... that actually fits this chapter quite well...

He carried the Doctor all the way back to the TARDIS, through burning debris, heaps of ashes, splinters of glowing wood and a snowstorm of glimmering embers. I followed behind silently, not daring to speak a word to disturb the strange image in front of me.

Only in the console room did the Master drop the other Time Lord into the jump seat.

"Not the med bay?" I asked, eyeing all the scratches on the Time Lord.

The Master glared at me, his look so angry as if he wanted me to dare speak up ever again, then bent down to lightly touch the other one's temple. A second passed in silence. The Doctor groaned, lifted his head. Soot and blood covered his face and clothes. Groggily he blinked at the Master, his hand twitched upwards, enclosed the one on his temple, but only to guide it away from him.

"Oh good," the Doctor murmured. " TARDIS. Don't want humans to- _ahh!_ "

The Master smacked him right across the face.

Only his surprised outcry disturbed the otherwise silence that followed. It hung in the air so heavily, I was almost certain to never hear a sound again. The Doctor seemed equally shocked, held his cheek.

"Auuu…" he eventually murmured defiantly and shrunk together when the Master bent over him, both hands on the jump seat next to his head, a murderous glare in his eyes.

"What were you _thinking_ , you bloody _idiot_?" the Master growled angrily. "A perception filter! As if that would work on a freaking dragon!"

"Well, it did… for a while." The Doctor's voice pitched to a defiant squeak under the other one's glare.

"And it almost _killed_ you!"

The Doctor opened his mouth, but shut it again, quickly. Somehow he managed to sink even deeper into the seat.

"N… nice of you to be so concerned, Master, but.."

The Master snorted and rolled his eyes. "My only concern, _Doctor_ …" He spat the name as if it were something disgusting. The closer he bent down, the further the other man sunk together. "...is that you let yourself be killed by something else than _me_!" Almost sweetly he added, "And we'd both be disappointed by _that_."

The Doctor let out a weak groan, but if of annoyance or because he was in pain was hard to tell. Parts of his coat were scorched, there were scratches and dirt all over him. Otherwise he seemed surprisingly well.

"Are you alright?" I dared to ask, almost feeling the Master's anger, but ignoring it.

"Yup," the Doctor somehow brought out, despite his crumbled together pose. "Kind of. Just... my head's a little messy." Finally the Master straightened himself and let the Doctor sit up, what he promptly did. His hands quickly were busy dusting himself off. "I think it's an egorlblak," he told, not looking at either of us. "Ancient species that is said to have inhabited many planets. No one knows how they get there, just..." He spread his fingers and finally looked up, only at me, though. "Appear. One day they are seen. And one day they are gone again."

"So... it's not a dragon?" It was hard to hide my disappointed tone.

"Weeell..." An adventurous smile spread on the Doctor's face. "Of course it is! Egorlblaks are said to be the source of every dragon legend there is." He sprang up from the seat and produced the Sonic Screwdriver from his pocket. "His DNA matches that of other recorded sightings. Never seen one with my own eyes, though. Brilliant, isn't it? We can finally _learn_ something about them!"

"Looked more as if _it_ learned something about smacking _you_ into a wall," the Master grumbled with folded arms. "Let me guess... you want to find the thing and cuddle with it?"

The thought made me snort, earning myself a pout from the Doctor.

"I actually think I can trace him to his hideout," he confessed with a shrug. "There was something... I guess slightly telepathic about him." One of his hands wandered to his head, his eyes closed for a moment. "An intelligent creature. And old. Oh so old, Master, you wouldn't _believe_ it." The hand sank down. "Eh, not that you'd care. I'll see if I can make out anything useful from what it left in my head. Don't think that was intentional. Just a little annoying... bit like having a mental tinnitus."

A dark look clouded the Master's face. Once more he stepped in front of the other man, fixating him. "Like _you_ know what I care about," he growled. "And then you run off with everything, not even asking!"

"Asking?" The Doctor huffed. "For what? You want to help saving people? Hardly."

"One thing – the only thing – you're right about. I don't care shit about those humans. But this dragon... You were not the only one laying awake at night, listening to stories about them." The Master lowered his voice. "You're not the only one who knows the spark of excitement at seeing what most haven't." He stepped a little closer, raising his hands to the Doctor's head, but not yet touching him. "And I know so very well how it is to have something in my head."

The other Time Lord swallowed, not averting his gaze. "That's different," he muttered.

"It's not," the Master snarled. "You just like it _easy_."

The Doctor's gaze hardened, he completely ignored the hands hovering near him. "There is nothing _easy_ about this. I'm running tests on you since _years_ and have found _nothing_!"

"But you might!" the Master now almost whispered, his tone strangely pleading. "If you would just _listen_. Only once... Doctor."

His fingers slowly closed around the other one's head. The Doctor's eyes widened slightly and they remained, locked in an eternal second. My own breath caught in my throat, heart thudding rapidly in a weird and vague hope that... The Doctor slapped the hands away and stumbled backwards. His look was defiant and angry.

"Stop that!" he called out. "I'm not listening to _anything_! Because there _is_ nothing! _Nothing_!"

Those heavy words hung in the air, hands fell down in defeat. The Doctor spun around and sped away into the depths of the TARDIS.

In the dim light of the control room the humming of engines was the only sound in the otherwise silence. Like in slow motion, the Master turned his back to the control table and slid down to the ground, hands clawing into his hair.

This was all beyond my understanding. Why did the Doctor turn his back at the Master like that? His distress was almost palpable. But then again… only because Time Lord's were telepathic didn't necessarily mean they could feel things like that. Most humans couldn't either, after all.

Hesitantly I stepped forward and dropped to my knees in front of the Master. His eyes were shut tightly, his breath slow and forcefully controlled.

"Hey," I said softly. "You okay?"

The Master's head snapped up, his gaze fixated on me, darkened even further than any madness would have allowed for.

"Do I _look_ okay?" he snarled, eyes pinching shut again. "Bloody drums. Way too loud since days." His hands lowered. "And what are _you_ still doing here? Shouldn't you run and see if your _friend_ is still alive?"

At first I was simply confused at what he meant, but then it sunk in and I gaped at him, not sure what to even feel in this moment. In the end, all I managed to do was to sigh and shake my head slightly.

"Like you said… I barely know him. You two were a little more important."

A small, humourless chuckle came from the Master, his gaze hate-filled. "You also barely know _us_."

His response hit me straight on. It was almost the same as I had said outside. Great… Using my own words against me. Before I could think of an appropriate response, the Master straightened himself, rose to his knees and grabbed my collar.

"Stop doing that," I protested.

"Oh, I will." There was no smile, no teasing, only a deep darkness that swallowed him whole.

Forcefully he threw me backwards, let me fall to the ground. Only with sheer luck did my head not collide with the floor. He jumped to his feet and glared down at me.

"Get lost," he growled deeply.

"Hey, I only wanted to help."

I tried to sit up, but the Master shoved my hand away with his foot, letting me fall right back.

"You know…" His head tilted a little. "Maybe I should just take back my life force from you." He made a step away, but his eyes never left me.

 _Is that it?_ , I wondered, strangely detached from the thought. And still it scared me to know I might die now. Now, where some part inside of me had chosen to…

"Yeah," the Master continued, as if he had heard my thoughts, as if he had come to the same sudden conclusion that went through me like a shiver. "You finally chose to live. What a pity… Because, you see…" Again he shoved my arm away, letting me land back on the ground. "You're pretty useless to me if you stay with those primates."

The Master dropped to his haunches, grabbed my collar once again and tore me into a standing position with him, only to slam my back against the nearest coral pillar. The hard material dug into my skin, the impact made me gasp.

While the stars faded from my vision... I quietly started to laugh, head thudding backwards, lids closed.

"That's hilarious," I mumbled. "No… no… You know what? That's _insane_."

And insane was the grin that answered. Thumbs pressed against my throat, slowly decimating my air. I didn't struggle, didn't speak another word. He was right… and he was not. But it didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore, did it?

Had it ever? As the air got lesser my body started to react on instinct, pumped my blood more rapidly, begged me to finally take another breath, to fight!

But nothing else happened. The Master kept me in that state of almost dying, made me weirdly aware of the pulse that ran through his veins. The four beats of his hearts, rapid, painful, unbearable. He wanted me to react, to fight, to prove that I wanted to stay with the living. But even though some part in me had chosen so, I simply couldn't bring the rest of me to go along with it. Not when there was silence waiting for me, peace. And an end to all the loneliness that hurt so much more than anything he could ever do to me.

"Master! _Let her go!_ Have you gone mad for good?"

There was air in my lungs again. Suddenly, unexpected. I gasped and stumbled away from the pillar, because there were no hands to hold me in place any longer. The Master only regarded me with his darkest look, while the Doctor dragged him away from me.

"Get lost," the Master growled towards me. "Don't you get it? No one here needs you! No one wants you here!"

"What the hell are you saying there?!" the Doctor squeaked, tearing at his arm. "Stop the nonsense. Of course she is…"

"Oh yeah?" the Master tore himself away and shoved the Doctor roughly against the control table. " _You_ were the one who tried to get rid of her from the very first day. And _I_ no longer have a use for a pet." 

I rubbed my throat and found myself smiling grimly. His words hurt like nothing else ever could, a hot knife slicing through my chest. But at the same time... it came without much surprise. After all, it had only been a matter of time. Same as always. Without even looking at the still fighting Time Lords I simply left. There was a weird little electric nudge, when my hand touched the door, as if at least the TARDIS wanted me to stay, but I ignored it and wasn't hindered any further from leaving the box.

* * *

.

* * *

I returned to the village. The part where the forge had stood was destroyed. Some flames still licked the smoking wood beams, all surrounding snow was melted away. I couldn't find Gerion anywhere, but soon was instead found myself by a woman.

She took me to a long building, where the wounded people were kept. There weren't so many. The forge was situated at the edge of the village and only a few had been around. Here I found Gerion, a bandage around his head and unconscious.

"He will live," the woman told with a sad smile. "There is nothing you can do now. But if you want to help, there are others." 

I nodded and lent a hand as good as I could. After that I went outside with some of the men to put out whatever fires were still lingering. No one asked about me, a stranger among them. The help was appreciated, though, and it kept me from thinking until I felt a hand on my shoulder and turned around. 

"Now you know," was all Ivar mumbled. "We're facing something not even axes and swords can fight. We tried, believe me." 

"I do." I nodded and was glad to see him alive and well. He probably had been out hunting all day. "I… I saw in which direction the dragon vanished…" 

Ivar arched a brow and finally smiled. "It would only eat you." 

I shrugged numbly, sensing all the repressed feelings from before coming back.

"Doesn't matter... if I'm alive or not… same difference. But maybe I can at least be of help. For once. Maybe…" A weak smile appeared on my face. "If humans and... others have no place for me, maybe the gods want me in their halls if I prove to be worthy of it."

Ivar fixated me with his warm blue eyes, thoughtfully. He lay an arm around my shoulders and guided me away, not speaking a word until we reached his place. Inside he started a fire to dispel the dark and the cold.

"Tomorrow," he finally said. "The earl said we will fight when the dragon dares to attack again. And now it has."

"Then I will join the hunt. Don't even try to talk me out of it."

"I would never." Ivar chuckled and enveloped me in his strong arms.

I wrapped my own around him, feeling all the tension melt away from my heart. Despite the still cold air it was so warm, comforting, to just stand there, feeling another living being so close. My hands clawed into his jacket, my head buried at his chest. This wasn't real – I knew it all too well. But in that moment it was all I had, and maybe also everything I would ever get.


	43. Part VI (VII)

This night I sat by the fire with Ivar for a long time. There was no way to properly tell him what had happened, so I probed him for stories of his own, instead. There were many stories I knew and of which I told the end to the beginning, or a part in-between. Ivar had fun testing my knowledge and was astounded to find it quite rich. A fact that only existed because I used to be a little obsessed with paganism and Norse mythology.

There were, however, also a lot of details he knew differently, and even a few tales I had never heard of. But, whenever it was his turn to ask for stories from the place I came from, I declined, which probably let me seem more mysterious than I was.

Then again was time travel really not a subject to reveal here.

We talked until my eyes fell shut and until I found myself unable to stay awake for even a second longer.

"I don't want to sleep," I grumbled sleepily when Ivar guided me to the bed.

"I'm noticing," was his softly amused reply. He still managed to gently push me down and wrap a blanket around me, before he snuggled himself under it. "You're afraid of something, aren't you?"

I sighed and nestled against him. "I don't want to dream again. Each time I do, it seems my life deteriorates a little more. And they scare me… The things I feel then."

"I see." His voice was soft and he pressed a warm kiss to my forehead. "Don't be afraid. Whatever happens, just remember that you're not alone, will you?"

I hummed, but neither agreed nor declined. What was there to say anyway? Because the thing was… No matter the temporary comfort… In the end he was wrong.

* * *

.

* * *

Morning came way too early, making me regret the long night. It also made me aware that there had been no dreams, this time. None I could remember at least.

Besides, this period in history wore a depressing lack of coffee.

Shortly after sunrise everyone met in the mead hall. Here I saw the settlement's earl for the first time. A thin but muscular man, tall and with a thick red beard. He sat on his wooden throne at the upper end of the hall, fingers steepled, eyes observing.

There was lots of chit chat, the mood was tense and excited at the same time. I wasn't sure whether to be surprised or not to also find the Doctor among them. He had wanted to look further into the dragon, after all.

And he was alone.

The realisation sent a little sting through my chest and I inwardly scolded myself for it. The Master had made it very clear that he didn't want me any longer. And the Doctor hadn't want me from the very beginning.

I made sure to avoid him, although our eyes met a few times. There was no chance to talk, however, because the earl now spoke up. His voice was rough, but pleasant.

"Fafnir came again," he started. "And I am not a man to sit around, awaiting death. I assume you share this trait."

Loud murmuring went through the hall, heads were nodded, axes and bows raised in agreement.

"Good… good." The earl rose and stepped down to the rest of us. "We know vaguely in which direction the dragon vanishes. I will send someone to search for tracks and find out all about his hideout. It is an important task. We need as many information as possible, before we attack." The tall man stepped amongst the people and lay a hand on top of a boy's head, smiling down at him. "We need to keep our families safe. But we must not storm to battle unprepared, we must not risk our sons losing their fathers unnecessarily."

"I will go." Ivar stepped forward. "I know these forests and hills like no other here."

The earl turned to him and nodded his head. "Ivar, the fruitless." Some men laughed, but the earl raised his hand to silence them. "Running around in all this snow must be what froze your seed." Again some laughed.

I looked up at the hunter. Was that why he was on his own still? In these times children were as valuable as gold. Not being able to have some was like... well... what they thought of him was clear from their behaviour. However, the earl interrupted their taunting quickly.

"You are right, Ivar. There is no better man for this than you and your bow. Take whomever wants to follow and be back by dawn. We will prepare and head out by midnight."

Ivar turned back and lay a hand on my shoulder. "Come along?"

I nodded eagerly and followed outside, catching some glimpses of questioning looks and snippets of what the earl told about preparations. It didn't take long and the Doctor also joined us, appearing seemingly out of nowhere.

"Now, espial is more my cuppa," he happily started to talk. "All they speak about in there is fighting and Valhalla and stuff... Err... it's okay with you two, isn't it?"

"Okay?" Ivar arched a brow. "Is that even a word? But if it means what I suppose, then yes, come along, Laeknir. More eyes see better."

We left the village behind us quickly and followed a worn path into the nearby woods. Ivar tossed a glance at me and gnawed on his lip.

"What's bothering you?" I finally asked.

He sighed and his shoulders slumped a little. "I... Well, I should apologize."

"What for?"

"Because... You know why."

I huffed and laughed a little, shaking my head. "Honestly, I have not the slightest idea, Ivar. Come on, tell me."

"Really not? Huh, alright... Uhm..." Ivar hopped over a stone and pointed at the next path we would follow. "About what the earl said."

My eyes were mostly glued to the ground so I wouldn't stumble, but now I looked up. "Won't we be back by dawn?"

"No. The other thing. I... had a wife some years ago. But she was never with child and so she left, and with her new husband... well... _she_ hadn't been the problem."

I shrugged. "So? What do I care?"

"What do you..." Ivar stopped in his tracks and observed me. "I asked you to _stay_. And didn't even tell you."

Surprised I glared at him, then my mouth dropped open as I understood. Well, of course, would I chose to stay it would also mean... well, crap. My face got warm and I totally was at a loss for words, making Ivar even more uncomfortable. The Doctor also was no help, running around with his screwdriver and scanning every tree and bush and dung pile he could find.

Ivar coughed. "That's why. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked and..."

"Wait, stop." I held a hand out to signal him to be quiet. "I'm certainly not mad because of _that_." A smile spread on my lips. "Seriously, I never wanted children. And I'd be the absolute _worst_ as a mother. I _mean_ it. Maybe not as bad as my own, but still."

"Oi, don't be so hard on yourself," the Doctor's voice suddenly appeared next to me, making me jump a little. "Being a parent is hard, sure, but..."

"Oh, be quiet, Doctor," I hissed. "As if you'd know."

He closed his opened mouth and pursed his lips, looking as if he had to say _a lot_ more about this.

"Listen," I snapped at him, "I know you try to get rid of me, but if I stay here or not is _my_ decision. And mine alone."

"I didn't want to... It wasn't meant that way," he whined. "I'm just trying to help. But fine, if you don't need and want advice..." He shook his head and marched away, examining some deep scratch marks on a tree.

"Those are from a bear, not the dragon," Ivar mumbled amused and turned back to me. "Well, I don't understand your reasons, but it does make me happy that this won't interfere with your decision."

By all gods in all nine worlds! How could he smile so adorably! That was inhuman. And unfair. So, _so_ horribly unfair. With a small grin I followed him, scolding myself for behaving like this. It really wasn't appropriate to have an obvious crush on a person who lived centuries before me! Well, it didn't matter that much, honestly, but still.

My grin dropped. I was just doing this all over again, this stupid thing to cling to whomever offered me some comfort. It wouldn't last anyway. And the moment he would lose interest in me, I'd be stuck in this time and place forever.

Facing a dragon was the absolutely better option here.

* * *

.

* * *

The hike was long, not because of the distance, but because we had to climb some pretty steep rocks. Snow and ice made it all the more difficult and I was glad not to be alone on the path. My clumsiness wasn't much help here, but somehow I managed without too much trouble.

The sun shimmered in the clear sky and still hung low near the horizon, as if she were shy and wouldn't want to come out, fully. There wouldn't be much more light, this day. Yule was near, nights were long.

"There," Ivar spoke up, breaking the silence. He pointed at an elevation roughly a hundred meters away, a formation of stone that loomed slightly over the landscape. I couldn't see much, but it seemed as if there was a cave behind it. "Truth be told, I have been nearby already. I saw the dragon land in here, but didn't investigate further."

"So, what will we do now?" The Doctor bent left and right, trying to get a good view at the cave. "Can't just run in and literally poke the dragon, I presume." He chuckled at his own joke and turned to face us.

"No." Ivar shook his head. "You two will stay exactly here, where you have a good view. And I go and search for the best path to enter the hideout. We must find it in the dark and more than one at a time should be able to enter... either that or we have to lure it out and"- He quickly looked over the surroundings.- "There should be an open space nearby. I'm back soon. Whistle sharp when you see the dragon. He usually returns by night, but I still want to make sure."

With that he strode away, swift and skilled, hopping and climbing over roots and stones. The silence didn't last long, the Doctor didn't run off to scan anything. Instead he leaned with folded arms against the rocks, his look serious.

"I meant it," he assured softly. "I'm not trying to get rid of you. I didn't want you aboard, that's true. But-" he interrupted my protest with a hand-wave, "- that was because I was scared the Master would harm you. Which, as it turned out, wasn't without reason."

My eyes dropped to the ground for a moment, only to snap back up to keep the cave in sight. The Master had indeed hurt me, although in a different way than only physically.

"He... didn't mean it," the Doctor mumbled. "I don't know what's wrong with him. I tried so many things... There is just so much rage and hatred in him. It never stops, never has. Not in all those centuries, not in the years since he is with me."

I huffed and shook my head. "Maybe you should start with the basics, then. Do what he asks of you." Only for a short moment did I take my eyes off the cave, to throw him a dark glare. "What would you lose by listening? You're a Time Lord, too. Maybe you could hear his drums."

The Doctor sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. I resumed watching the cave.

"Do you know where they come from?" the Doctor asked.

"No. He hasn't told it."

"That's... ugh... no, that's not on me to tell, then. Let me just say... the way he got it is an indicator in itself that the drums aren't real. Can't be. It happens. People go mad, have it much worse even. He just doesn't want to accept it. And even if I would listen... there wouldn't _be_ anything. And yes... since I am a Time Lord, he would not believe a _word_ would I tell him that I can't hear the slightest thing."

He probably had a point there, but to me it seemed unnecessarily cruel anyway. Not that this was my problem any longer.

"If he is as mad as you claim," I numbly said, "then why do you assume he _isn't_ the arse as which he behaves?"

The Doctor rubbed his neck and sighed. "Because he was mad at _me_ , not you. You were just… In the way. Wrong moment, wrong place."

"Don't think that's all." His anger had started before that, but the Doctor couldn't know. "Doesn't matter. Hadn't planned on coming back."

"Oh…"

"I found a good spot!" Ivar appeared from a rock directly above us, wearing a satisfied smile. "The cave is enormous and we can enter from three sides. We can lay an ambush and then fight him in the belly of the cave, where he can't fly away."

"but if it spits fire…" I objected.

"That might be an issue, yes. But I think his survival instincts will prevent that. I know many beast and none of them risk their lives on purpose."

"That isn't just some beast," the Doctor mumbled. "There is an intelligence… with telepathic skills of some kind. Couldn't decipher anything, though."

"No idea what you are talking about." Ivar sat on the stone and let his feet dangle. "If you have any better idea, go ahead and tell."

"I will search the cave. Maybe there are hints… traces."

"Done that already. But if you want. I won't stop you."

The Doctor nodded and strode away to a spot where he could climb up to the cave. It didn't take long and he had vanished inside. A few minutes passed in silence, before the Time Lord reappeared, but he took more time to squander around the entrance.

Ivar let his eyes wander down to me, smiled and hopped down, landing by my side in a silky movement.

"Are you sure you want to fight?" he asked softly. "I won't stop you. But it is important to be aware that none of us might survive against a foe like that."

"I _am_ aware," I mumbled, lowering my head. "And I accept it."

Ivar nodded, his face serious. The Doctor approached us with a face that told clearly he hadn't found a useful thing.

"I don't like this," he grumbled. "I don't like this at all. Bloodshed is never a good option."

"It is the only option we have." Ivar fixated him with a stern look. "We gave the dragon enough chances to survive. But now it is either him or our whole village. And you will understand that we chose to survive. I'm sure of that."

The Doctor sighed and tossed a glance back at the cave.

"Yeah… but I still don't _like_ it."


	44. Part VI (VIII)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
> *breathes out*  
> Fighting scenes are so damn hard to write! Q_Q
> 
> So... I hope you enjoy this chapter. It almost broke me! AHhhhhhhhhh! xDDD

There was time to prepare, time to rest, to eat. The Doctor vanished as soon as we returned, wanting to have nothing to do with the slaughter of such a probably ancient creature. But Ivar was right. Either the dragon or the whole settlement had to perish. The choice was easy. For them.

For me…

"I'm still curious, Roka." Ivar sat next to me, watching the stars. Soon we would venture out. "Why do you risk your life for us?"

I sighed, not taking my eyes off the sky. "'m not," I mumbled and my thumb slid over my wrist. "Once I made a decision. It feels like months have passed already, but it's actually only a few days."

Ivar took my hand and looked at the scar. His eyebrow shot up questioningly, but I had a hunch he knew where it came from.

"That healed fast. Why…" He interrupted himself and shook his head. "Sorry. That's none of my business."

"I'm fighting for a selfish reason. I can't stand it. Being lonely all the time."

"Wouldn't that be a good reason to stay?" He nudged me with his shoulder and smiled warmly.

"Yeah…" I smiled back, leaning against him a little. "But Ivar… It seems that I am cursed. It has to be. One way or the other."

"Why do you think that?"

Cold evidence. Even when looking at it from an objective view, even when I sat aside all emotions, the facts still stayed the same.

"Without a single exception, people always leave me. No matter how often they tell me how much they love me, how much they value our friendship, or whatever else they say. Sooner or later they leave me behind. Even when I do my best to be a good friend or a good partner, even when I give more than I get back. One day or the other people just... vanish, stop speaking to me, turn their back or even get hostile, even if nothing has changed."

Ivar hummed thoughtfully." And you think I will leave you too." It was a statement, not a question.

"It appears to be inevitable." I glared at the stars, eyes filled with tears. They stung, but wouldn't flow, so I blinked them away. "I can't fight. I probably won't survive the dragon. But it's an honourable death. That's ought to be worth something, shouldn't it? And should I survive nonetheless… Maybe that's a good sign, who knows…" I peeked at Ivar. "You're not trying to stop me. Why is that?"

There it was again, this warm smile. It made my heart ache. Ivar leaned to me, took my chin between his fingers and breathed a small kiss to my lips. "No man, nor spirit, nor god has the right to deny you your choices," he spoke softly.

I huffed, feeling a blush creep up my neck. Maybe it would be worth the risk. Just one more try. Once more offering my trust, my splintered heart. Even if it would end all the same, there would be time to think about the after when it actually occurred. Maybe this dragon was a trial, the ultimate way to determine my path.

* * *

.

* * *

We split in three groups. One coming from near the entrance, the other two from different paths within the cave. We walked through almost darkness, had only a few candles to illuminate the narrow way. Too narrow for torches.

I stayed close to Ivar, my hand gripping the knob of my short sword. The earl himself had given it to me after hearing that I, a stranger, was willing to fight alongside his people. After all, who would let the chance slip to face such an opponent?

Aside the two of us there were three others. None spoke a word, not wanting to alarm the dragon before the time. Eventually the woman in front of us gestured to something and I could make out a spot that was darker than the rest. Another entrance.

We had arrived.

Tension spread between everyone, my own heart beat a lot faster in anticipation, not even willing to calm when Ivar gave me reassuring smile. Instead my grip only got a little tighter, as if this sword was the only thing still clinging me to reality. This was insane, wasn’t it? I had no idea how to fight, was physically weak and mentally unprepared. I had ran into my certain death – again. But this time there was nothing calm about it.

The woman gave a short hand signal and everyone poured into the cave. I followed, then stopped abruptly as a hand was suddenly on my shoulder, gripping me so hard that I couldn't move any longer.

Perplex I turned, but couldn't make out anything in the darkness the missing candles had left behind. From ahead I heard a scream and a roar. Metal against scales.

"Let go!" I demanded.

"So you can run in there and let yourself be killed?" The voice was familiar, slightly distorted in the cave, but recognizable enough. "You still have my life force."

How had he even gotten here? Even in the dim candle light everyone had been visible clearly. I would have seen him the whole way here. But that hardly mattered now. The sounds of fighting rang to my ears, heavy steps let the ground shake, roars filled the air. The dragon was awake.

"Screw you!" I called out. "You can't throw me away and then demand _anything_. Let go!" I tore myself away. Why I managed was a mystery in itself, but I took the opportunity to simply run.

There was fire in the cave, licking at torches on the ground to illuminate the enormous cavern we stood in. It was huge enough to almost fit a small church. Stalactites hung from the ceiling and grew on the ground where the dragon hadn’t swiped them away. Vaguely I could make out more entrances that might lead outside or deeper inside the cave. The rest of the warriors must have come through those.

Warriors with the spirit to fight to their deaths to defend home and kin, fearlessly facing a monster they only knew from tales. They were almost tiny in comparison to the black nightmare that was the dragon himself. Even on all fours he was enormous, cautiously treading up and down and in a weird circle. He observed his attackers, tried to find a way to fight in this space that was huge, but still too small to fly or to spit fire in.

Immediately I saw that the attack had been a bad idea. The dragon couldn’t keep all humans in his line of sight at once and those that felt secure enough lunged one attack after the other.

None of them left as much as a dent in the dragon’s shimmering scales. Not sword, not axe, not fist or boot could leave a mark. Whatever those scales were made of, it was sturdy and impenetrable. In the weird, flickering light they gave off a beautiful shine.

The monster turned on the spot, swished a handful of men away and against a cavern wall, where they lay still and unmoving. Some arrows thudded against the thick leather of the wings, uselessly falling to the ground. A torch flew, landed on the beast's head, right as it let out another roar. Sharp fangs smashed the wood into tiny splinters, devoured the flames.

The dragon rose to his hind legs, spread the enormous wings to almost fill out the entire cavern. Everyone ducked away, tried to get out of the creature's reach. The head tilted back as if it were about to spit a fireball, but the movement never quite finished. Instead the creature was startled and roared, pain-stricken, stumbled – and finally crashed to the ground.

Right in front of me.

Without even thinking about it I had already drawn my sword and had moved to keep the dragon's head in my sight. A bad idea, considering where it had brought me. The ground shook as the enormous body landed ungracefully, slithering over gravel. Angrily the head shook and the eyes – those purple pits of glowing ember – they stared at me, truly _saw_ me.

I gripped the sword with two hands, holding it in front of me. How I felt in that moment is impossible to describe. It wasn't fear, it wasn't panic. Something deeply rooted within my subconsciousness stirred, let my heart-rate skyrocket and my breath tremble. The maw opened, long teeth blinking in the orange light, slowly closed again and moved closer, sniffing. It was so close, its head as big as myself.

There was a strange pressure in my head as it came closer, almost similar to what I felt when the Master didn't tone his psychic abilities down and... Could it be? Through all the trembling and the paralysis of my body I somehow still managed to take one hand off the sword, hesitantly reaching it out to brush my finger tips over tiny, delicate scales. Such beautiful scales.

The purple eyes closed as did mine and deep rumbling noise went through the dragon.

Time stood still.

My hand resting on the hot, black snout, an impression of something far older than I could even imagine, an image of what might be a nest. And suddenly... I felt pain. A hot searing pain that burnt through my flesh and muscles, led blood gush out of a hole between my scales, let the insides of my body melt in an agonizing...

I gasped, stumbled backwards, realized it hadn’t been my own body that was injured. I saw the dragon flailing, trying to make out from where the beams of laser came that burnt its flesh, the only weapon that could actually hurt it. I shook my head, glanced around, but couldn't see the Master. Was he using the same trick the Doctor had used the day before?

I heard screams, but none of pain or defeat, but of joy. Some of the warriors were chasing at the dragon again, hitting their weapons at the wounded spots. An arrow hit right into a bleeding hole, making the beast roar in agony and swipe its tail around. Something hit a wall nearby, my eyes followed the sound and then, only then, could I see the Master, sagging down against the stone, a small broken device next to him.

He didn't seem wounded, only shook. I ran over to him, but got completely ignored. His eyes were glued to the dragon – and the tiny object below its feet. My gaze followed and I saw what lay there. The laser screwdriver. Without it we were almost helpless.

A chuckle made me look next to me. The Master grinned from ear to ear. "Oh, I always wanted to fight a dragon!" he cheered. "Such an exciting foe. Too bad I couldn't hit his heart." He tilted his head, watched the others fight. "Perception filter broken, laser out of reach... Let's get out of here and-"

"I'll get it," I decided.

And before the Master could hold me back, I rushed away, sword still in one hand, trying to evade the flailing limbs and wings of the dragon. Was it the adrenalin, or witnessing the small advantage we had gained and the thereout resulting enthusiasm of the others? Was my urge to die in battle so strong? I didn’t know, didn’t have time to think about it. Something in me drove me to action, let me run faster than I probably had in years.

But not secure enough. The ground was uneven, stones lay strewn around amongst broken stalagmites. Somewhere I stumbled, fell with a yelp that got interrupted as I crashed to the ground, feeling all air getting pushed out of my lungs for a moment. My hands scraped over stone, got scraped up. The weapon slithered away, drew the creatures attention to me.

It turned, towered above me as I scrambled up to my knees. A step of the huge hind legs let the ground tremble and I fell to my bum, crawling away backwards as the creature approached. As if everyone else and even the pain was suddenly unimportant, the dragon directed his whole attention to me, his movements quick and agile. Black wings closed around me as he towered there, mouth hovering right in front of my face, the purple eyes boring into mine.

Again I felt it. A tug at my mind, an attempt to communicate? It didn’t feel intentional, however. My whole body trembled from whatever the creature emanated. And yes, in that moment I was scared. Not even for my life, but for something I couldn’t even name. The dragon carefully nudged my forehead and... _Black smoke engulfed my vision, the sound of wings filled my ears. Grey waves crashed against wood and cloth. The roars of thunder rolled over the ocean, accompanied by the screeches of two ravens._

I gasped. None of it was real, the vision not even a vision, but drawn out memories of the dream from recently. How had he done that?

I heard people shout, heard the sound of metal against scales and saw the dragon wince in pain several times. Finally the attempts to get his attention worked and I exhaled deeply as the creature turned away. Shaking I tried to stand up and my hand brushed something.

The laser screwdriver.

"Toss it!"

The Master's voice came from nearby, close. I stumbled to my feet and threw the device, saw the Master catch it quickly and point it at the dragon in the same movement. It screamed as more beams hit it one after the other. Blood gushed out of several wounds, dripped from its maw to leave red puddles on the ground. Or was it a dark purple?

I found my sword again, not sure if it was even needed. But already the dragon latched out once again, took every last strength to chase at the Master. He ran away, shot more bleeding holes into the scales. One even right into the chest.

The dragon screamed in a high pitched noise, made everyone who was still standing cover their ears. The creature was barely able to spread the enormous wings anymore, with too many arrows piercing the muscles by now. Limping and with its mouth hanging open slightly, the dragon came close to the Master, growled deeply. The Time Lord stopped moving, only stretched out his hand, pointed his laser. A scene for a painting, I thought fascinated and sad at the same time. This fight wouldn’t last much longer.

With the last of his strength the dragon suddenly chased after the Master once again, teeth blinking, purple glowing rage. I was out of the way and still close, standing almost between them. So damn close. _I can stop it_ , came an insane thought. If I could manage to hit that wound the laser had left at the chest. If I could… I already did. Somehow I moved, didn't know why or how, but I ran. The Master shouted something I couldn't hear and didn't care about. The dragon would shred him to pieces, superior biology or not. So why didn't the bloody idiot move away? The dragon approached with two thundering steps, the massive body right in front of me, my sword rose, gripped tightly with two hands. With all the strength I could muster I rammed it forward, somehow hit the right spot and felt the blade sink into flesh. Hot muscles above, black leathery wings to both sides. Something hit me, let me crash to the ground. The dragon collapsed, let out a mournful whale and…

Blackness. Eternal, _timeless. Nothing existed and would ever do. Only them. Wings and smoke and travellers, unaware, waiting, sleeping. Waves crashed against the shores, smoke rose into the sky. Black ink soaked velvet scales. A voice, hundreds of voices without words. Purple blood dripped upwards through an hour glass, sand ran down the carcass of a broken skeleton. Something burned, flames danced through a desert of obsidian. There was a heartbeat, slowly dying. There was a second one, faint and small, not yet_ ready to hatch _._ There was something heavy, hot and dripping, laying on my chest, taking all air from my lungs.

My eyes snapped open only to reveal a mass of black scales. I couldn't move, almost all of my body being pinned down. There were people calling something. Then silence. Or maybe everything was just muffled.

Slowly I realized that I lay buried underneath the dead monstrosity, that the vision I had seen must have been the last dying thoughts of the dragon. A plea without words. I wasn’t sure what it meant, was confused why the dragon had never attacked me directly. I tried to move, reached my hands up in the tiny gap between me and the body, pushed against it. There was still heat in the creature, almost burning my skin at the touch.

Then it moved. And for the shortest of moments I was sure it would heave itself up now and end what it had started with me. But the movement wasn't its own. Again I heard muffled voices, realized just how _silent_ it was under the dead creature. Only when a small gap was created did all the impressions storm back to me in a rush. Light, colour, sound, cold air.

Hands gripped me under the arms, pulled me out, slowly, careful not to hurt me. I was dragged in a half sitting position, leaning against someone. My sight was blurred on one eye and it was hard to make out things around me like that. One of the contact lenses must have fallen out.

"Can you move?" someone asked.

"Y…Yeah. I think so."

The hands vanished and I somehow stumbled to my feet. Everything spun and hurt. I let out a small groan and held my head, looked up and startled.

Everyone was watching me.

I blinked and gaped at the small crowd. Some were clearly hurt, stood supported by others, but no one seemed dead or seriously wounded. Ivar was among them, the widest grin on his face when he rose his bow. The others followed his example, weapons were raised and everyone together let out a triumphant cry of victory.


	45. Part VI (IX)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Be patient... the Master will learn. Ehehehe.
> 
> Also, it's not that I would beg for comments (except, I do), but it's my birthday (spare me the congratulations), so to use this opportunity to cite Missy:
> 
> "Say something nice!" 😘

Wide eyed I stared at the small crowd of men and women who celebrated our victory. I saw several wounds and shred armour and clothes, but all of them smiled and yelled and it was just contagious. A laugh bubbled up in my chest, I raised my fist and let out a cry myself, grinning from ear to ear.

Ivar ran over, hugged me tight and even lifted me from the ground. "By all gods, Roka! I thought you had been crushed!" He laughed and sat me back to the ground, looked behind me. "If it hadn't been for Erik's help we couldn't have moved the corpse enough."

I turned and needed a moment to adjust my eyes, due to the one missing contact lens. But then I saw who had helped me up. The Master stood there, glaring at Ivar with barely contained hatred. His look landed on me, got even worse for a second, before he simply stormed past us and vanished behind the dragon's corpse.

My heart dropped painfully. Even after we had fought together he still left me behind like that, without even a word or explanation. It hurt more than all the scrapes and scratches on my body.

"Let's get out and inform the others," one man spoke up, referring to the backup group that had stayed outside. For both cases, to inform the settlement if we lost, or to help get the dragon's corpse out of the cave if we won. "And get our injured people patched up."

For the most part I stayed silent on our way back, barely noticing the pain from my wounds. None of them stung as much as my heart did. I knew it shouldn't, knew it was stupid and inappropriate to be so down. But it was no help.

"You alright?" Ivar asked eventually.

I hummed. "Just exhausted," I half lied.

* * *

.

* * *

The Doctor was in the settlement, awaiting our return eagerly. It seemed he had annoyed at least half a dozen people with his fidgeting by now, but a group of children was surrounding him, begging him for more stories when I came in hearing distance.

"Maybe later," he promised with a smile and searched our little crowd with his eyes. They landed on me for a brief moment, but quickly darted further and his face became worried.

"He's still alive," I mumbled towards him. "Probably stealing some dragon teeth or whatever."

The Doctor let out a relieved sigh and rubbed a hand over his face. "I have no idea how he managed to leave the TARDIS. I wanted to fly off, but then he wasn't there anymore and..."

I blinked at him, once, twice. I shouldn't feel so disappointed, I just shouldn't. After all, I myself had told him I didn't want to return. So why did it hurt so much to hear he had been leaving so soon? And without even saying goodbye. All he seemed to care about was to get his prisoner back into his chains and then... Whatever it was he was actually doing.

I swallowed down all my feelings and gave him a weak smile. "Just so you know. He saved us all. Without his laser screwdriver none of us could have defeated the dragon."

The Doctor's eyes widened and his mouth dropped open to form a silent 'o'. Not that it would change anything, but maybe... Why did I even care? For a second I truly hated myself for still trying. The Master wouldn't thank me, wouldn't ever learn that I had told this. And even if...

By the light of the next day they'd long be far away.

* * *

.

* * *

It was impossible to find rest this night, and maybe it was for the better. Surely there were more weird dreams lurking in the depths of my mind. If not about waves and ravens, then about things I didn't want to think about.

How I would live from now on, how I would fit in - or not. Where I even was supposed to stay. Would I need to build my own home? There was enough space in the burnt ruins. For the night I had settled in the guest house again, had managed to make a fire after some attempts, had watched until the flames had died down to embers, then ignited another few logs so I wouldn't freeze in bed.

A nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach made me hope someone would knock, would just ask where and how I was. Maybe Ivar would come. To celebrate our victory, to see if I was injured, to simply _be_ there, where everyone else had left.

But no one came.

It wasn't surprising, really.

With the first rays of sunlight I climbed out from under the pelts, got myself clean and slipped into the only clothes I now possessed, although they were quite dirty and had stains of my and the dragon's blood on them. Well, better than nothing. I could hide the worst under the pelt cloak the Master had given to... I scowled and almost threw it away, but then decided against it. Outside the temperatures were still freezing cold.

I also made sure to clean all wounds I could find. Most of them were only scratches and scraped off skin. Nothing to be concerned about. Only the two long, deep scratches that stretched over my right side looked nasty. In the ruckus of the fight I hadn't even noticed that the dragon had caught me once. Only after I had calmed down had I noticed a pain at this spot. It was hard to bandage them properly, but that didn't matter much.

A bigger vexation was the missing contact lens. Only seeing sharp on one eye made my head dizzy and I saw worse than had I gone blind on that site. A few strings and a patch of leather would do. For now. What would happen to me when the second lens got lost? This was something I hadn't thought about.

Without some sort of optical aid, I'd soon be a cripple in this world.

* * *

.

* * *

Over night they had brought the dragon's corpse into the settlement, had spread it out on the field where Gerion's forge had once stood. The icy temperatures preserved the body well, although there would not be much left of it for long. Men and women were busy cutting flesh out of the belly, the once strong legs and the tail. Some sat around a small fire, chewing on portions of it.

When I came closer someone offered me a piece and, curious as I was, I tried it. The taste was strong and reminded of venison. A bit of salt and herbs and this would be truly amazing to feast on. Something the people here were clearly planning to do.

Others were busy dissecting the scales and claws, teeth and other parts. The scales were still unbreakable for their weapons, but now they could take them apart and collect each separately. It made me wonder if traces of them would remain into my own time. Had we changed history? Would those be found in all the places they visited from now on to trade with them?

Here I also found Ivar, busy observing every piece of the carcass he could lay his hands on. I didn't ask if he had been sleeping or not. It was none of my business. His question regarding my eye-patch stayed mostly unanswered. I only assured that it wasn't a wound and he was too occupied to ask further questions.

I decided not to bother him further and went to stroll along the shore, got lost in thoughts I couldn't recall afterwards.

* * *

.

* * *

At the peak of dawn I returned to the settlement, mind mostly empty, numb. But as soon as people saw me I got torn out of the stupor. Someone waved me over, grabbed my arm with a wide grin and led me to a large space in the middle of the village. Here everyone had gathered around an enormous fire. The dragon's head decorated the space and everyone who had fought against him stood around the head.

They pushed me towards it to be there with the others. Many cheered when they saw me and my heart fluttered surprised at so much attention. There was music, singing, laughter.

And I remembered that it was the night of Yule.

Winter Solstice.

Something within me vibrated with the drums and the strings that filled the air, resonated with the laughter and light-heartedness of people. A smile tugged on my lips.

This was a night of magic. One to drown all sorrow and forget about the future, the past. Nothing mattered but the very moment.

The earl stepped forward, followed by a boy and a girl, maybe ten years old. Both wore folded pelts in their arms with metal objects on them. I couldn't make out what it exactly was. We all had to stand around the dragon's head now, facing away from it and into the crowd of villagers.

After lots and lots of cheers they eventually quieted down, respecting the earl's raised hand. A proud smile graced his weather hardened features.

"The great dragon has tyrannized us for long enough. The bravest among you ventured out to make an end to this. And not only did you succeed, you also came back _alive_. All of you!" The crowd cheered and I saw more than one giddy grin on my companions' faces. "Each and every one of you will be known as a warrior, as an honoured presence among us. Your children and children's children will sing songs and tell stories of this day." He waved his hand towards the boy and the girl so they would come closer. "Our craftsmen have used the day to make these for you. Wear them with pride. You've earned them well."

The earl took one object after the other and attached it to the clothes of each of us. When he came to me I saw it was a brooch to hold together cloaks. The metal was delicately carved with runes and each brooch was decorated with one of the thin, sharp teeth of the dragon.

"You are a stranger and still fought alongside my warriors," the earl spoke. "And you even landed the final blow, as I got told. I thank you in the name of my village. Be an honoured guest for as long as you wish."

I nodded respectfully and my chest swelled with pride as I glanced down at the brooch. Never in my life had I gotten something as valuable as this. It was a sign of victory, one of bravery and... I glared up at the sky, admiring the stars. No, I hadn't been brave. Only tired of living. But that wasn't something anyone would want to hear.

A night of magic.

Yule.

Nothing else was important now and I tried my best to get lost in the night. Someone pushed a mead filled horn into my hands and I drank, enjoying the sweet taste. There was plenty of alcohol and food. Enough to sate even the last hungry soul.

I saw a figure spring up all of a sudden, raising a huge piece of the dragon's tail into the air. People tried to keep him from it, but he just ran away, triumphantly laughing.

I saw people dancing to strange, hypnotic drumbeats and other instruments. A girl, surely not older than twenty grabbed my hand and made me dance with her. Luckily there was no set rhythm to it, we only moved how the music guided us and laughed and fooled around for a bit. Never before had I been one for dancing, had always stayed away from parties and other too loud places, but here it felt natural, unforced.

There was more mead and I would probably suffer a terrible headache from it in the morning. But that didn't matter now.

Later I found Ivar, surrounded by a handful of women, who all wanted to hear of his role in the fight, eyes wide and interested. Not in the story, though.

Ivar saw me approach and nodded in my direction.

"Hey, there's another hero!" he called out grinning.

A young, blond woman raised her voice. "What? You let that boy really fight against such a monster?"

Right, of course they thought me a boy. My looks and clothes were nothing even close to what _they_ wore. Not that I wanted to change attire, but somehow it now bugged me that they didn't see me as a woman. Maybe I simply should tell, and already I opened my mouth, but got interrupted by Ivar, who lay an arm around my shoulders, grin wide.

"Sure. He wouldn't listen. You know how the young ones are." He winked at me and chuckled.

I wanted to protest, wanted to tell him I didn't care if anyone would know. But then he gave me a barely noticeable headshake and his eyes nodded towards the crowd of admires.

Why, of course. He wanted to use the newly gained attention when, before, he hadn't been a target for it. A small, nasty sting sat in my chest at the realisation.

"I'm older than I look," I therefore told with a scowl "And I'm not a-"

"Hey! Fifteen isn't old." Ivar laughed and nudged me playfully. _He_ clearly intended to keep the silly disguise intact.

I gritted my teeth and tried not to let show what I thought of this. Should I hide who I was for the rest of my life? That couldn't be the plan. But whatever it was, I would not learn of it. Another woman grabbed his arm and tugged him into the crowd, asking for a dance to the wild music.

Ivar only shrugged, smiling impishly and let himself be dragged away.

I didn't feel anything at that moment. It was just… how it was. How it always was. The nights before he had sought comfort in me as much as I had in him. Because no one else had paid attention or shown interest. Now he got both. And I wasn't important anymore. Just like always.

A night of magic.

I huffed and got more mead. Should my head hurt all it wanted. For those next hours I didn't want to know of anything anymore. Maybe I'd be lucky and freeze in some ditch while being unconscious.

It was hard to keep my mind quiet, however. Alcohol had never helped much with that, neither did it now.

The evening grew colder, the hours passed by. It probably was around midnight when most of the people either went home or gathered in the large mead hall to continue their festivity. I left after not much time, unable to stand so much noise and heat and all the different impressions that washed over me in a compressed mass in there.

I didn't mind the cold, wanted to see the stars. There were several exits to the hall and I sat down on the stairs by the most secluded one. My hands clutched the sawn off horn in them. The mead in it was hot and also had an addition of berries to it. From time to time I took a small sip, enjoying the strange taste.

So... here I was. Among people I didn't know, in a time that wasn't my own, all alone and without a proper place to stay or the means for the day to day life here. I tapped against my eye patch and sighed. My time here was very limited, I realized. One way or the other. Being almost blind would render me completely useless here. A cripple.

People tend to picture these times as romantic, but in truth it was harsh and unforgiving. Could you not fight for yourself you were lost, discarded even. Because no one had the resources to have you be a burden. And I was a stranger to them.

It didn't matter.

What had been done once could be repeated. And this time there was no alien popping up to prevent me from it.

The thought was as cold and dry as the last time. Maybe even more so. I had seen the unfathomable, I had had the opportunity to go to places no one else in my time would ever visit. And for that I was grateful, content even.

Somehow, in that moment, I came to realize how many old people must feel, when they sensed their end coming closer. Looking back over their lives, remembering only the good, no matter how much bad there had been. A story... it was all that would remain of me. And that actually was a good thing.

As I gazed up at the sky, hands around the warm horn, a light appeared in the sky, slowly spreading over the velvet cloak of blackness, stretching across the stars like a road. Or maybe... like the rainbow bridge Bifröst, that led to the world of the gods.

The aurora hung there in its most mesmerizing shades of green and blue, purple and yellow, moving, shifting, ever so slightly. It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. Would ever see. Wistfully my heart ached, mouth slightly opened in utter awe. Almost I could hear the curtain of light sing, although I knew it was only an illusion. I didn't care.

"Ah right, that's what you came here for, in the first place."

It took me a long moment for the voice to even enter my awareness. I was too lost in the ethereal light. And when I turned around to see who had spoken, my heart leapt to my throat in surprise and relief and so many other emotions at once that I impossibly could name them all.

There, leaned against one of the wooden beams, still in his black gambeson, stood the Master, arms folded and eyes resting on the northern lights, before they slowly lowered to me, accompanied by a mischievous smile.


	46. Part VI (X)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well... Time Lords are not humans... that alone makes for some funny ideas. *giggles*

"Oof, I'm not _that_ drunk, am I?" I mumbled, my voice slurring a little.

The Master chuckled and pushed himself away to come closer and sit down onto the steps right next to me. His shoulder lightly touched mine as if to prove that he was real. Not that it was needed, the little warmth his body gave off proved it well enough, made me aware of the cold.

"What's with that eyepatch," he asked mockingly and tugged at it. "I thought you wanted to be a viking and not a pirate." The Master chuckled at his own dumb joke.

I slapped his hand away, scowling. "I don't want to be either. Contact lens fell out."

"Not a problem. You'll get some new ones. Or your specs if you prefer those."

It took a moment for his words to sink in, or rather their meaning. The Master laughed at my confused face and nudged me. His features turned serious, however, at his next words.

"You're not staying here."

Despite my situation I huffed derisively. "And that's _your_ decision now?"

"Actually… yes." Casually he propped his arm on my shoulder. "A part of _me_ is keeping you alive, lil' lumin. _My_ energy is it that keeps your body functioning." His eyes bore into mine intensely. "That _does_ give me the right to make this decision."

Okay. No arguing with that. He had a point there. But that was as good as it would get. I growled in frustration, because nothing made sense with him. And his bloody arm was annoying, too, so I wound out of the way and pushed against him, even though I knew I didn't have the strength to really shove the Master. Instead I sprung up and trod in front of him, bending down a little.

"You're so messed up, you know that?" I snapped at him, angry at the tears in my eyes.

The Master only cringed. "Tell me about it." He chuckled at my eye-roll. "Well, you can make a fuss as much as you want. You'll come back with me. I don't care what you or the Doctor thinks about it." A dark look clouded his eyes for a moment, suddenly replaced by something that could be anger. "So go and say goodbye to your boyfriend. We're leaving."

My mouth dropped open and for a moment I was simply speechless. Something had gone majorly wrong here, I realized. Somehow I managed to calm down, the alcohol probably helped, and drew in a deep breath, my hand wiping over my face.

"He's _not_ my boyfriend," I let out exasperated.

The Master arched a brow and tilted his head, looking weirdly confused all of a sudden.

"But you wanted to stay here with him."

My hand dropped to my side. "Yes!" I snapped, anger bubbling up from deep down. "Because _you_ pushed me away! And I don't even get _why_! What the bloody hell made you so angry?"

"You... slept with him," came the answer, sounding almost more like a question.

I grunted and rolled my eyes again. "So?"

The Master looked so puzzled all of a sudden that I almost laughed. His expression was so confused as if I had given him an unsolvable puzzle.

And then, slowly, it dawned on me.

"Wait... right... You're not human," I concluded. "Do... Time Lords regard such things as more important than humans?"

He opened his mouth and closed it again, contemplating his next words, before he attempted another try. "Time Lords don't really need any of that. But.. uhm... well... It mostly seems as if humans use sex as some sort of... bonding?" Again his brows arched questioningly and if it were for any other situation I would have simply laughed at having _him_ of all people be so damn clueless for once in his life.

Instead I dropped back down to the stairs by his side and let out a deep breath. Then I couldn't help it and started to laugh, despite the murderous glare.

"Yeah, okay," I admitted after a while. "Guess many handle it like that."

"Then what's so funny?" the Master growled at me, brows furrowed.

I snorted. "You really should never watch some late night television. And stay away from the internet."

Now it was at him to roll his eyes. "That's not the same," he protested. There was a pause in which he gave me a strange look. "Please tell me it isn't."

"Probably depends on the person you ask." I giggled, couldn't hold it in. The mere fact that we _had_ this conversation was weird and ridiculous enough. "Oh, don't look so angry." I nudged him. "I'm not making fun of you, promise. But to answer your question" - I poked out my tongue -"For humans it's... sometimes it's just... fun. Or comfort seeking. Dunno how Time Lords handle it."

"Similar... if at all." The Master scowled at the aurora, then tossed me a dark side glance. "But then it makes no sense that you're so scared every time I come too close to you."

I snorted. "Come on! _You_ always behave as if you're about to just have your way with me! And that's not fun at all! I really don't need any of _that_ again." I paused, pursing my lips. "I know you wouldn't. But sometimes you still act like it. And then it's just... instinct...reflex? Something like that. If that really bothers you, stop acting like an arse."

"Again..." he muttered, suddenly emanating something dark that made me startle and shy away from him. "Someone did that to you, once?"

 _Crap_. Maybe I should take better care of my wording. But if he wanted to use this against me somehow, he wouldn't be lucky.

"I left it behind me. Doesn't matter anymore." My answer didn't satisfy him the least, that much was obvious by the barely contained rage he emanated. It wasn't because of me, though, I realized, sensed it somehow. So, for a reason I didn't understand myself, I opened up a little. "My... ex-boyfriend. It's complicated. He didn't... not with physical force, at least." I sighed and sunk together. "I probably don't have to tell _you_ that people can be forced to things with other methods."

"And now you want to kill him for it."

I looked up and blinked perplex at the Master. He still looked angry, but also as if he had understood something. Well, the wrong thing, obviously. I shook my head.

The Master gave me a crooked smile. "No? Now I thought he was the one you wanted to shoot so badly."

"What would I gain from his death?" was my dry response. "Aside from being assured he can't do it to someone else. But why would I care about people I will never meet?"

A snicker made me look up and when I met the Master's eyes the tension from before vanished slowly. I couldn't sit still any longer and shot to my feet to stretch my limbs. So many thoughts were racing through my mind, it was hard, if not impossible, to pick one.

"So... that's it?" I finally asked, glancing at the Master, who also heaved himself to his feet, eyes however, glued to the stars above. "You thought I fell in love with Ivar and that I would want to stay here? And that's what made you so angry?"

They way he glared into the sky was filled with a deep longing and an almost palpable sadness. How long was he a prisoner already, I wondered. How many years or decades had he not been able to move freely, had been stuck inside the TARDIS with barely a chance to leave. I had seen what he was capable of and that his own behaviour kept the Doctor from giving him more freedom. But then again... Nine hundred years of living couldn't be spend by sowing destruction alone. There had to be more. A lot more.

I stepped in front of him, glanced up. He lowered his eyes towards mine, his expression barely changing.

"No," he finally muttered.

"Then why did you throw me out?"

"That?" The Master shook his head. "No, that wasn't about you. I was angry at the Doctor. You were just in the way."

So the other Time Lord had been right. Somehow this really surprised me. In the end the Doctor might indeed know the Master better than I had thought. Maybe well enough to also judge if those drums were real or not? Was he right about them? Was he right to keep another man locked away like that? Was _I_ the one judging it all wrong?

"You felt so... safe with him," the Master continued, a deep scowl etched into his features. "Don't worry, I haven't seen much in your memory. But that... How could you feel like that with someone you don't know? And why don't you feel safe with..." He cut off his own sentence by biting down on his lower lip. As if he had wanted to say something he didn't want me to hear.

It wasn't hard to finish the sentence, however. Even half drunk. I gave him a sarcastic smirk.

"Threatening people's lives and wanting them to be scared all the time doesn't really invoke any sense of safety."

He glanced away, stubbornly trying to avoid looking at me directly. Sometimes he really reminded me of twelve year old and I sighed. Could it really be that he had been mad because I didn't feel safe around him? And if that was the case, why then had he acted even more scary than usual?

I probably wouldn't get any helpful answers from _him_ , that's for certain. The most important thing I _had_ learned, however, the only thing that actually mattered to me, was that he hadn't just left me behind, that he had never intended to drop me here and vanish. I didn't care about the reasons and my head was too clouded to connect this fact to our conversation before.

It was Yule.

And that still was a night of magic. A night that wore the beautiful curtain of an aurora. A night in which nothing mattered, but the moment. And when my eyes wandered from the colourful sky to the Master, I knew how I wanted to spend this time.

"I don't get you, seriously." I poked a finger at his chest and thumped at the mead hall. "It's cold and I don't see a reason to leave right away. We could have some fun in there. Let's mix them up a little."

That finally made the Master look back, then at the hall, then at me again. Ideas and thoughts visibly rattled in his mind, a grin slowly formed on his lips.

"You know... It actually was the two of _us_ who killed that dragon. I think they should pay us some more respect. What do you say?" Mischief radiated all over his features, the boyish grin crinkling the corners of his eyes.

* * *

.

* * *

The Master strode into the hall, past the celebrating people and straight towards the slightly raised top part, where the earl sat on his throne, laughing and chatting with some people.

"Oi, you!" the Time Lord called out, gaze fixated on the other man's eyes. "I demand this throne for myself." And with a sweet smile he added, "Only for tonight."

Everyone who had overheard it went silent, including the earl himself. I was sure the Master had attempted hypnotism, but its reliability was always somewhat questionable.

It did seem to work, however. The earl rose from his seat and suddenly smiled.

"For this night and this night alone. You came from a place far away and yet helped our people survive. The honour might be yours, therefore." The man let out a hearty laugh and stepped down to vanish with the people he had spoken to before. "Take good care of the hall."

"Oh, I will." The Master chuckled, rubbed his hands and flopped down on the throne as if it were a sofa. His legs dangled over the armrest as he waved over a servant to bring him some mead.

I kept in the background, uncertain how to act. But already the Master waved me over and pushed a drinking horn he had just been given into my hands.

"Another one," he demanded grinning. When he got it he raised the horn and pulled me next to him. "Give a toast to the little dragon slayer! She landed the final blow!"

I had not expected to suddenly be the centre of attention and blushed, grinning like an idiot. Many raised whatever they were just holding and shouted a mass of cheers. And there, amidst them, also was the Doctor, trying to path a quick way through the celebrating men and women. He clearly wasn't amused at the Master's display. He had a hard time, however, to get close, and the attention clearly wasn't on him, but on us.

"A name!" a man nearby called out. "What name shall we tell our children?"

I glanced sideways at the Master, but he only shrugged with glinting eyes. What name should I tell them? My own? The fake name? A completely new one? Or…

I smiled and glanced back at the man who had called out. "Tell your children that their name was Dovahkiin." I raised my horn. "Skol friend!"

More shouts filled the hall and the people returned to celebrating the night. The Doctor had barely made progress, but would soon be with us. Something the Master blatantly chose to ignore.

"What does that name mean?" he asked with an amused undertone.

I coughed and couldn't hold in a laugh. "It's a name from a video-game. I just couldn't… It was too good." I giggled. "That won't cause a paradox, will it?"

"Doubt it." The Master snorted and shook his head. "You're such a nerd."

"Hey, it's totally fitting. I've been waiting to make some Skyrim puns since that damn dragon landed the first time."

"Yeah?" came the mocking reply. "Looked more to me as if you were about to wet your pants." He poked out his tongue.

"Pfff… You wish."

"Master! What the heck are you doing?!" The Doctor had reached us, almost tripping over his own feet. "Where have you been all the time? And could you just stop hypnotizing people?"

Nonchalantly the Master continued to dangle his feet from the armrest and swayed the mead inside his horn. He lay his head back and tossed a side glance at the other Time Lord.

"Naaaah," he drawled. "Too much fun. Don't ruin the mood, Doctor. We're _heroes_."

The Doctor scoffed. "You mean murderers."

"Oh come on," the Master spat and rolled his eyes. "Your hands are far from stain-free. Stop being so sanctimonious. And look at them." He waved a hand towards the people. "Isn't that something good? I made some apes happy."

"There would have been another way. I'm sure of it!"

As much as I was sad about a mighty creature dying, I also wasn't willing to let this victory slip. I plonked down on the arm rest, next to the Master's feet.

"Last time you scolded _him_ for leaving people back to die," I dryly commented. "And now you're angry because he didn't?"

The Doctor's mouth dropped open and the Master started to roar with laughter.

"Oh, look at you, Doctor," he cackled and demonstratively wiped a non-existing tear from his eye. "How does it feel to have your own twisted morals served to you like that?"

"That's not... I don't twist anything! And I don't run around and slaughter some ancient creatures! It might have been the last of its kind! No one has seen an egorlblak for millennia! And you have nothing better to do than to murder it and then play king of the hall!"

Rage was bubbling from the Doctor, his dangerous side shining through vividly as he climbed up the small enhancement to the throne. The Master didn't budge at all, only his eyes gave away his ire.

And I... I had enough of it.

"If you don't intend to travel back in time to prevent it," I tossed in, "there is nothing you can change about the dragon."

"Oh right!" He threw his hands up and let them fall down again. "Of course you'd say that. Having all the praise for yourself for once. Feels great, doesn't it?" he mocked angrily.

I was too drunk and too happy with the current situation to let anyone ruin it, so I only shrugged. "Yeah, feels bloody nice. What now? Scold me? Or you want to keep me prisoner, too?"

Again the Master chuckled and his only comment was a happy, "Oh oh."

I sighed and shook my head. "Come on, Doctor. The dragon's dead, the village is safe, and who knows how much else. And the Master playing earl for one night won't let the world end. I'm rather certain of that."

"But that's not the _point_!"

Now the other Time Lord spoke up, decided to break his silence in a way that sounded as if he was speaking to a child. "And no one _cares_ about it. If you hate everything so _damn_ much, go and hide in the TARDIS. We'll be back by morning." He waved towards the doors.

"Besides," I added with a smile, "it's Yule. No one should be so angry. Not tonight. Not while the air is filled with magic and laughter. Not while the stories of old are alive in music, dance and mead." I raised my horn with a wide grin. "Just tonight, Doctor, okay?"

It clearly was the alcohol that spoke out of me, but what did it matter? It was fun and, in a way, I was right, wasn't I? Even the Doctor seemed to accept it, his features softening in a deep sigh.

"Yule... right. Almost forgot. Did you see the aurora, Lucy?" Slowly a reluctant smile stole itself on his face. "It's beautiful, isn't it?" I nodded happily and finally the Doctor grinned himself. He let out another breath and chuckled, the tension falling from him like an old, worn cloak. "One night. Right. Celebrating. I can do that! Just you watch!" With that he hurled around, his coat snapping against his ankle, but once more he faced back. "No more deaths here, yeah?"

I exchanged a look with the Master and as soon as the Doctor was gone we both laughed heartedly about the situation.

"Hey." Playfully I slapped his boot. "Are we good again? You and I?"

The Master gave me a mockingly arched eyebrow. "We've never been. You're still human and far below me." He chuckled at my exasperated grunt and raised his mead filled horn. "But for one night I can maybe turn a blind eye to it. Skol, lil' lumin. Enjoy the feast in _my_ hall."

Grinning I shook my head and toasted back. "Skol, earl Erik, oh great slayer of beasts from beyond."

We both stayed silent for a few seconds, the sound and music washing over us. Then a smile formed on his lips and on mine as we exchanged mischievous glances.

This would be a fun night.


	47. Part VI (XI)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I found an ancient doodle on my hard drive. It's not the first time I had the idea for this setting. It actually had been planned for "The Master's Game" already, but back then I just wasn't able to put together something I was satisfied with...
> 
> How times change... :3
> 
> Also, this got horribly fluffy. *giggle*

* * *

After some minutes of watching everyone I hopped down into the crowd and left the Master to play earl on his own. It couldn't take too long for him to get bored of it.

Being in the hall was a bad idea altogether. So many noises, smells and colours. Everything blurred together to a mass of impressions. But right now I didn't care. Alcohol usually dulled down my oversensitive senses enough to make me able to enjoy occasions like these. Like it did now.

I drank and sang and danced, listened to stories and told a few of my own. From every corner came music, wild and raw and ancient, close to nature and the earth below.

It was Yule.

A kind of magic filled the night that cannot be explained by words. It can only be carried by tunes and drums and laughing voices, by the smell of roasted flesh and sweat honey mead. Once or twice I left to take in the aurora and its wonderful light. But I always returned, let myself be swept away.

Somewhere I met Ivar again, right as the tunes of a dance ended. He turned and we came face to face, his eyes lighting up at my sight.

"Hey! There you are. I saw how your friend conquered the throne." He chuckled. "The earl truly is in a good mood to let Erik have his fun like that. Didn't even know your companions were still here."

"Yeah. I didn't know either." Somehow I felt stupid at how jealous I had been some hours ago. No one would let such a chance slip. _I_ certainly wouldn't.

"Will you still stay with us?" Ivar wanted to know, his look somewhere in-between hopeful and apologetic.

I smiled.

"No," came my immediate reply. And there was not the slightest hint of regret within me when I said it.

Someone bumped against my back and suddenly there were arms around my torso, holding me quite possessively. Surprised I glanced up and found it to be the Master. Who else would it be?

"Don't keep your hopes up, hunter," he growled. "You're aiming for the wrong prey here."

Ivar blinked dumbfounded, but then he smiled sadly and nodded. "I understand." His gaze wandered up and down between me and the Time Lord. "May the gods watch you on your travels. I won't forget you."

With that he turned and vanished into the crowd to be never seen again. I hoped he would find happiness in years to come. For a short moment I even contemplated running after him to ask if he wanted to come along, but remembering the Master made me quickly forget about that. This would only end in a disaster. And maybe bloodshed.

Speaking of the Master…

I squirmed in his grip to throw him an annoyed look.

"Why so hostile? He hasn't done anything to you."

The Master just grumbled something that got lost in the music and dropped his chin on my head.

"And you can let go of me," I sighed, tugging at his sleeve. "Not that I don't enjoy a good cuddle…"

That made him release me and I giggled at the childish behaviour, turning to face him. The Master bent down slightly, brows knitted together. "You're not staying."

"Uhm, yeah. You already said that." I stemmed my fists into my hips and regarded him with a tilted head. "Are you drunk?" I mocked. "Wasn't sure you lot even react to alcohol."

"Only if I let it happen," he grumbled.

"You clearly do then. I'd challenge you to drink with me… but that's a lost game. And I'm not fond of losing." Especially when I didn't have the strongest stomach and didn't drink too often anyway.

The Master cringed. "I actually was looking for someone to have a good fight with. Heard they were challenging each other somewhere."

"Guess there were a few fist fights over there." I thumped behind me where I had seen some men doing a little friendly contest. "Just don't ruin the mood by killing someone, yeah?"

"Oh, I would _never_."

"You know what, I'll watch."

The Master laughed out. "Want to make sure, eh?"

"Nope. Just wanna see Time Lord vs. Viking." Giggling I gave the air a few playful punches.

"And you're calling _me_ drunk." He poked against my head, swirled around and marched to the fighting group.

They cheered when they saw who had appeared and an opponent was quickly found. A bald guy with a short beard and tattoos all over his head and arms. The Master only grimaced at the guy and undressed his gambeson and shirt, before he stepped in front of the other man.

The Master actually didn't look that strong, I realized, seeing him like that for the first time. Certainly not weak, but compared to the Viking guy…

After a sharp call they made short process with one another. It was fast and all I managed to make out were a few hits on either side, before the opponent was dropped to the ground and found a boot on his chest. After that more men lined up to fight against the Master, but not a single one could win - even though a few managed to land a blow or two.

It was fun to watch him, to see how much faster and stronger he was than humans. The way the Master moved seemed almost too fluid and there was a weird aesthetic to it. I really should ask him to teach me a few of those moves. Most of the time he didn't even use any kind of force against the men and simply defeated them by using their own strength against them in various ways.

After a while he probably got bored and left, not without dramatically bowing at the cheering mass. He wasn't even sweating, I realized and pursed my lips when he approached.

"It's really not fair," I protested. "Why are you so much better than us?"

The Master chuckled. "It's just the way it is. Deal with it."

"You still got a few bruises." Grinning I poked a blue spot on his side and giggled when he hissed.

"Only because I didn't want to raise too many suspicions. _Stop poking that!_ " He grabbed my hand.

"Okay okay." I giggled and looked him up and down. "You should get some tattoos." When he released my hand I traced a line into the air, right along his side. "Maybe a dragon here."

The Master snorted and slipped back into his black tunic. "Waste of time and energy. Next regeneration and it's gone anyway."

"Regeneration?"

He cringed. "You wouldn't understand."

My answer was to poke the bruise again. "Not the first time you underestimate humans."

"Shut up, ape!" he hissed.

Swiftly I stole the gambeson before he could put it back on and lay it around my shoulders. They had been used as light armour, but also looked really cool and were padded quite nicely.

"That's too big for a dwarf like you," the Master mocked.

"But it's waaaarm." I cuddled myself into the cloth and eyed the Time Lord. "And you look good as you are. No need for the badass mode."

He laughed out. "Well, whatever. I'm not cold anyway." A questioning look wandered towards me. "Do I look good?"

I gave him a thumbs up. "Decent enough."

"Wha-haaat?"

I leaned against an empty spot on one of the tables and poked out my tongue. Which was the wrong answer. The Master came to stand like a tower over me, eyes glinting.

"I don't accept _decent_."

"Well, 'm not going to lie to boost your ego." I giggled and poked him. "Get lost. You look good enough to fetch a date for tonight."

He scrunched up his nose and tossed a glance into the crowd. Then he spun back, bent down with a smirk and placed both hands on the table to either side of me. We weren't touching, and still only inches apart. His hazel eyes bore into mine, so close I could make out the pattern in his iris.

Someone had to teach him about personal space at some point.

"You're my date."

"Ab-so-lute-ly _not_." I laughed out and glinted amusedly at him. "And you say _I_ ' _m_ the drunk one."

"Because you _are_."

"True." I shrugged. "Still don't wanna date you."

The Master chuckled. "Your loss." His look turned serious all of a sudden. "Not what I want anyway. There is something in your mind. Something the dragon left behind there."

Puzzled, I blinked at him. "Uhm, yeah... it tried to communicate, I think. But it didn't feel intentional..."

"Doesn't matter." His hands snapped up, enclosed my head firmly. "I'm still curious what it wanted."

Quickly there was the familiar tingling sensation swimming through my head, only that it was weirdly distorted, hazy, as if someone tried to shine a light through thick fog. The Master tried for a while, then grunted annoyed.

"Oh my, your head's a mess. Totally scrambled and out of place."

"What the...?"

He chuckled. "Because you're drunk. Don't worry. Will go away on its own. Makes it just hard to find anything."

"I could try and focus on it?" I offered, head tilted in his grip. "Or do we need more contact?"

"Try."

I closed my eyes and concentrated on what I had felt during the last vision the dragon had shown me. But the images kept slipping over and over again. The Master scowled at me and my answer was an apologetic grin. There was no helping it. I already tried my best. But the longer it took the more I wondered why he was only in _my_ head and I not in his. Usually it was sort of both and for some reason I missed that feeling, this weirdly soothing closeness which it brought.

My hands reached up on their own, cradling his cheeks. And just like that our minds connected completely, like a puzzle piece snapping into place. Surprised, I gasped and heard a chuckle, simultaneously felt it vibrating through my mind. Being alcoholised had a weird effect, made everything blurry and hard to grasp. It felt like sinking down into muddy water, deeper and deeper, slow and steadily, as if I would simply get lost, only able to numbly watch the fading light of the moon, shining through the water's surface far above.

The Master mumbled something, voice soft and a bit amused. "Hey, what're you doing there?" Or did he think it?

"Dunno." Was I actually using my voice? Everything was so muffled. "Does it work?"

"Not quite. You're too untrained and weak." For once it only sounded like a fact and not like an insult. The words dripped into my awareness, sank down with me into the darkness.

My eyes crept open - had I closed them? One of them - both. One was still hidden behind the eyepatch. The Master was so close I wouldn't need aid to see him clearly. It was a strange sensation to be like this, holding each other's head, sinking deeper and deeper while still being somewhat aware of my surroundings. I got lost in the hazel depths of his eyes, drowned in my own mind.

Slowly I inched closer, my nose brushed against his.

One hand slipped from my temple, a finger suddenly on my lips, a smile on his own - still so close. His eyes wore a glint that was both warm and impish and confused me more than anything else so far.

"Don't," he all but uttered and eased out of my mind, straightened.

Everything washed back over me in a sudden wave. The hall, the fest, the music, the voices, the smells, the warm cloth around my shoulders, the racing heartbeat in my chest. I groaned and pinched my eyes shut. Too much. Way too much at once. And then also the slow realisation of what I had almost done. It seemed like a logic thing in that swamp of foggy thoughts, a way to strengthen the connection, to get clear, to...

I shook my head and looked up again. "Eh, sorry, shouldn't have..."

He was gone.

Perplex, I glanced around, not able to find the Master anywhere. Maybe he had gotten enough out of my head, after all. Whatever that vision might mean to him.

* * *

.

* * *

The night went on, with or without him. How much time actually had passed was hard to tell. I lost all sense of it. Maybe I even lost some memories here and there, snippets, short, unimportant moments. I made sure to drink plenty of water to stay hydrated, but that didn't help in the long run. It only filled my bladder and releasing that wasn't the nicest thing on a cold winter night.

The only good thing about the outside was the aurora that kept glowing in the sky. Such a wondrous thing, a phenomena humans would only come to understand in many years from here. And it was one of those cases where science wouldn't ruin the magic, even add to it.

I smiled up at the bluish curtain, burning it into my mind to stay there forever, no matter how much the alcohol clouded my awareness.

Back inside I found a group of younger people gambling with stones and dice. It seemed complicated, but I quickly understood the rules and played with them for a while, even won some money. I decided to keep the coins as a souvenir.

More time blurred together, colours and music and dances and too much of everything. And somewhere in all that I bumped against someone, my hands between us and a _'sorry'_ already on my lips when I recognized the black tunic, and when I felt how icy cold it was.

"Have ya been outside?" I asked. "You're cold as an icicle."

The Master smiled mysteriously. Only then did I see that he now wore a jacket over his tunic. One that clearly belonged into my own time and not in this. But people were too far gone to notice. It also reminded me that I had no idea where his gambeson had ended.

"I've got what I wanted," he eventually spoke up. "And, as much as I like the taste, I think I had enough of their mead. Let's leave."

"Leave? Nooooo way!" I called out. "I want to stay."

His face dropped, a short hint of actual hurt crossed it, and I was sure not to have imagined that. I tapped against his chest, what made him scowl.

"Hey, whu's up? I thought we were good?"

The Master stroked a hand over his face and shook his head. It seemed as if he, too, wasn't so sober anymore. And when he suddenly grabbed my collar, it was not as rough as usual, in stark contrast to his penetrating gaze.

"You're _not_ leaving me," he ground out.

"Huh?" Confused, I blinked up at him. "'course not, idiot. Just wanna stay until dawn. 's tradition, you know?"

The Master visibly relaxed, features softening. He released my collar and straightened. There was such a strong sense of relief radiating from him, in that moment, that I simply couldn't hold back a laugh. Especially when I considered his wording just before.

"What's so funny?" he growled.

I grinned. "That you're as drunk as me."

"Most certainly not, _human_."

"Why else do you keep forgett'n what I tell you?" I poked my tongue out, giggling at his eye roll.

"I'm _not_ forgetting." The Master reached out as if to grab my shoulders, but let his hands sink. "But people always _lie_." His voice dropped to a level I could barely understand. His face was hard, but what I nonetheless felt from him was clear enough, even without his next uttered words.

"And they always leave."

Wide eyed I glanced up at him, at the man, who had burned galaxies, who had enslaved the human race to wage war against the universe, who had sown destruction in his wake, who left corpses and oceans of blood and misery wherever he could.

And all my mind kept repeating was what the Doctor had said about the Master so, so long ago.

_Angry and lost... and all alone._

And I was too drunk to care about anything. So I took a small step forward and just dropped my head against his chest, ignoring how the Master winced as if a lightning bolt had hit him.

"What the...?! Will you get lost, you bloody..."

"'m not leaving you alone," I promised.

He tried to shove me away, but I had no intention to budge, kept my forehead propped against his chest and clawed my hands into his tunic. His attempts were only half hearted and eventually he gave up and sagged together a little. A sigh deflated his lungs, almost a sob.

"Don't..." he choked out and it sounded like a weak plea. "I can't... That's not me."

Surprised I glanced up, saw a weirdly desperate look on his face. Never had I witnessed him like that, all the usually hidden pain lying bare so visibly, for once. I had no idea what or who had hurt him so much and so often. And so deeply.

When our gazes met, he looked away, tilted his head backwards as if to hide his face. He took some deep breaths, eyes glued to the stars, even though they were hidden by the roof above our heads. I knew he still saw them, felt them, wore them all within his hearts.

"Why not?" I asked. "It's Yule. You can be whoever you want."

Seconds later his head lowered, revealing a sadness in his eyes that shot painfully right into my own heart. We looked at each other, maybe truly saw the other person in front of us for the first time.

"'t was a bad idea to get myself drunk," he muttered.

And that was a good enough excuse to gently drop his chin on my head and wrap his arms around my shoulders, carefully, as if he feared to break me. As if it was something he wasn't quite sure how to even do properly.

It felt warm, his hearts thudded soothingly against my ear. I could simply get lost in this sound that drowned out everything else around us. Being lulled in like that, it made me aware of how tired I actually had gotten, of how far the night must have progressed already.

"You're way too soft and cuddly," I mumbled against him and felt a laugh vibrate through his chest. "I wanna sleep on you."

"Oi! Don't you dare, you intoxicated dwarf." But he didn't budge, only ruffled a hand through my hair, making a mess of them. "There, suits you better." He chuckled to himself.

"Dwarves're cool. You have to try harder to insult me." I finally let go of him and, reluctantly, he did the same. I smiled and brought my hair back in order. "Alright. Let's leave."

"Before you do something stupid?" he mocked.

"Yup," came my giggled reply. "I'm in a very _I-will-regret-nothing_ state. Could end really badly."

"Tzz, I noticed."

"'m still alive."

He glared at my smirk, eyes narrowed to slits, even though he couldn't quite hide how his lips twitched upwards. "Don't provoke it, lil' lumin."

I poked out my tongue and eyed the hall. Not much remained of the celebrating crowd. Many had gone home, others slept on prepared pelts, or simply on benches. No one really cared. There were enough still dancing and drinking and playing music that sounded progressively less melodic.

"Where's the Doctor?" I wondered. "Haven't seen him all evening."

"Probably sulking in the TARDIS."

"Oh. Hm... well... at least we don't have to look for him, then."

The Master grunted and followed me outside. "He can rot here, if I'm concerned. But then we'd be stuck."

When we exited the hall we were greeted by the last fading gleams of the aurora. Soon it would be gone, not more than a memory in our heads, superseded by the emerging light of dawn on the horizon.

Soon the days would get longer again, winter would cede to make way for the warmth of the sun, life would return and with it... some hope.

On the hill, where the TARDIS stood, I stopped to cast a last glance back, over the village and the still burning Yule-fire in the middle. Stories would spread, tales would be spun, legends no one would believe in my time.

I smiled.

"You coming?" the Master asked and held the door open.

After some seconds I tore myself away from the sight, my finger stroked over the brooch on my chest. I nodded, stepped past the Master into the dim interior of the time machine. Its humming had become almost familiar, greeting me with a welcoming warmth.

After everything I had been through and every decision I had and had not made, I knew, felt and accepted that this was my home now.


	48. Part VII - How to hatch a friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, not sorry *giggles* There are certain things I simply cannot resist doing. This chapter is full of those. Hope you enjoy. xP

"Eh… How about _no_?"

I crossed my arms in front of my chest, giving the Master the yet darkest glare.

"Oh, don't make a fuss." His grin was nasty. "You're by far not the first human I'd see naked."

"That doesn't make it better."

The Master bent down to where I sat, took my chin between his fingers to make me look at him. The grin was still there.

"Off with that clothes, lil' lumin. I promise to be careful with you."

* * *

.

* * *

I had just entered the TARDIS, the Master still outside, when a familiar voice called out.

"Hey, why didn't you tell you were leaving? I was just done scanning the molecular structure of the dragon's bones."

I turned and stepped out again, just in time for the Doctor to catch up. There were ends of bones sticking out from his pockets.

"Do you hide half the creature in there?" I asked and giggled at the thought of him carrying all sorts of disgusting stuff around.

"Naaah. Just a bit of everything I could gather. Want to do some research."

"With that stuff?" the Master mocked.

"Since it's all that's _left_."

They exchanged a venomous glare that didn't last long as the Master started to chuckle.

"I had a similar idea. About doing research."

The Doctor gave him a raised eyebrow. "Since when?"

The other Time Lord let out a laugh. "Believe it or not. I'm a curious man."

"Mhmmm… I know the usual reasons for that."

"The undying thirst for knowledge?"

"Yeah, to use it against whoever stands in your way. Which, usually, is me."

The Master sighed and shook his head. "Oh Doctor, how much you have forgotten. It had always been me coming up with the most interesting research projects, remember? And, to help your messy memory a little, here, they had only once or twice ended in something going up in flames."

"And you forgot how often your _projects_ got us into trouble nonetheless."

"Which always _thrilled_ you."

Again they glared at one another until the Master suddenly smiled and stretched his hands out. "Told you, I wanted a pet, didn't I? And that one-" he thumped at me-"only makes trouble."

"Hey!" I protested, even though I wasn't so sure if about being called a pet or being called difficult.

The Master completely ignored it and patted his chest pocket. The Doctor's eyes suddenly widened with curiosity.

"What did you find?"

"I might have dug around a little. In that head over there." He nodded towards me. I playfully slapped his site, which he only commented by sticking out his tongue towards me. "The telepathic traces the dragon left."

The Doctor's eyes wandered over to me. "What does Lucy have to do with it? Humans aren't…"

"Aaaand _wrong_ again!" the Master announced happily. "Anyway, I looked at what the dragon left and it did what all dying beasts do. Make sure _someone_ will find their inheritance."

"And by that you mean…?" The Doctor fixated the Master's chest pocket and also kept tossing glances at me, although I was as clueless as him. If not more. "What did he leave?"

"She."

"She?" The Doctor's eyes widened even more.

Surprised, I glared at the Master, already guessing what it was he would pull out of his pocket. And I was right. There, in his open palm, sat an egg. It wasn't bigger than an orange, black in colour and decorated with slightly glowing purple veins.

"Good thing they didn't check. It was the only one. Would have been a shame for anyone else to find it."

"You… you…" the Doctor stammered, then slowly grinned from ear to ear. "You're brilliant!" he finally called out, beaming all over his face. A second later he suddenly rushed forward, grabbed the Master by his head and pressed a quick but firm kiss to his mouth, then snatched the egg and rushed inside the TARDIS with it.

Utterly dumbfounded the Master stared at the spot where the other Time Lord had just been. His still opened hand dropped down.

"That… was unexpected," I commented, not less perplexed.

From inside came one last call from the Doctor, sounding suspiciously like _mistletoe_. We both glanced up and found exactly that hanging right above the Master's head, interwoven with some other Yule decorations.

I couldn't help the mischievous snort. "Did you just blush?"

I was sure not to imagine the slight reddish tint to his face. It made me giggle even more.

"Shut it, ape!" he growled.

"Och, but why?"

 _Damn!_ I wouldn't survive this, would I?

To my surprise he gave me a wolfish grin, slapped his hand against the wood next to my head and bent down slightly. "Because _you_ 're standing below that thing, too."

My eye darted upwards and I realized that he was right. I swallowed, grinned shyly and then quickly slipped away.

"Now look at you, little coward."

"Eh, once really was enough, thank you very much." I darted into the TARDIS, grinning when I heard his chuckle.

It was, however, interrupted by a sudden, extremely unhappy groan.

"Wait, that bastard just _took_ it! _Doctor!_ Return my damn egg! Immediately!" the Master shouted and stormed away.

* * *

.

* * *

This time I had no trouble sleeping. All I managed to do when I entered my room was to undress and flop down on my bed. This actually would also be the first time I'd properly sleep in here, my tired head remembered.

There were dreams, but none of them threatening, none wearing such foreboding things than what I had seen before. Maybe the dragon had something to do with the previous nightmares? It _had_ connected with me, in some weird way, reminding me once again of how little I knew about telepathy.

In the morning - or whatever counted as morning to me - I felt equally refreshed and like a dead person. My head was eager to split into pieces, my muscles ached and I felt sick on top of it.

Weak stomach.

It took me a while to finish in the bathroom. Also because I had no clue how to properly bandage wounds. And the claw marks on my site were still red and burning. Usually, my pain tolerance is quite high, but that thing hurt like hell and was breaking open at one or two spots.

Somehow I managed. The pile of dirty clothes landed on the toilet lid.

"Can you dispose of that?" I asked the TARDIS.

The answer was a happy electric humming, followed by one that sounded concerned. For some reason I knew it was about the wound.

"Nah, it's fine. Will just take a bit to heal."

I watched fascinated as the pile of clothes just faded out of existence in front of my eyes. Another glance wandered into the mirror. Once again my face was framed by my specs and I decided I liked the look much better. This was me, small, a tomboy and nerdy.

I smiled at my reflection and stuck my tongue out. _Yep, that's perfect._

Now onto the next quest: Finding food and painkillers.

* * *

.

* * *

Maybe food wasn't the beat of ideas I decided, still feeling sick. A lot of water and a few cups of coffee would have to do.

The last one I took with me and wandered the corridors for a bit, watching how they changed colours and materials. Some looked ancient, others brand new. Only the shape stayed the same. There were a bunch of doors, but I didn't dare to open any of them, unsure if I was even allowed to sneak around like that.

My coffee was empty now, so I headed back to the kitchen - with help of the TARDIS - to get a refill. And then decided to bug the Master.

"Again?" he groaned when I entered. "This TARDIS has no manners whatsoever."

We were in a room that was a mixture of library and laboratory. A very steampunk-ish style was present, the shelves and most of the furniture made of either dark wood or glass. Books upon books filled the space, but also a big messy table with many metal instruments, microscopes, different tools, screws, wires, pencils and whatnot. There also were glass displays on wooden cupboards. Some empty, some filled with strange plants. One looked like it could be an ancient alien miniature tree. The whole room resembled what one would imagine a rich English nobleman during the colonisation might have owned. Bare the pelt- and bone trophies.

Wide eyed I glanced around, curious about... well, everything, actually. The Master let me, surprisingly enough, and I caught small glances of him observing me. Eventually I ended back at his table and found a strange contraption there, resembling a weird microscope. (To be honest, it could have been anything else.) And in a small metal clasp sat the dragon egg.

"Oh, you got it back?"

"Yeah. Had to literally knock him out. And he doesn't know this room, so don't you dare losing a word about it."

"I won't, promise!" I straightened and dramatically put a hand above my heart. "So... is it still alive?"

"Hopefully." The Master picked up a few papers from the desk and thumbed through them. "I did some research the whole time, but it's hard to find anything. Even the TARDIS barely has data on this species."

I bent down to the egg, observing the delicate purple veins. Somehow it made me feel sad and at the same time...

"The veins are moving slightly," I mumbled. "Does that mean anything?"

"They don't." The Master still looked through his papers.

"Oh. Then it's some kind of optical illusion, I guess."

Finally he put everything down and arched an eyebrow at me, then leaned past me to take a look at the egg himself. Carefully the Master picked it out of the socket, surprise visible on his face.

"That's new. It did nothing before you came... in..." Almost in slow motion his head turned towards me, eyes squinting, brows knitted together. He held the egg out. "Take it."

With a bit of reluctance I put both of my hands together to form a small bowl and held them out. The Master lay the egg into my palms and then we both watched, not knowing what to even expect.

Nothing at all happened. Maybe it had been a coincidence. The veins still seemed to slightly pulsate, gaining and losing ever so subtle fractions of brightness. The longer I watched the more I realized it changed with my own breathing. Even when I changed it, took deeper or shallower breaths.

"Interesting," the Master muttered.

"It... didn't do that when _you_ held it?"

"Most definitely not." He chuckled, glaring at the egg. "Alright, seems like I will postpone throwing you out for a while."

"Thanks?" I held the egg closer to my eyes to observe the glowing veins better. "Shall I keep it?"

"Yeah, for now." However, the Master already picked it from me, his fingers wrapping tenderly around the fragile shell. It only took a few moments for the pulsating to stop and he placed the egg back into my waiting hands, his eyebrow lifting when it started glowing again. "Maybe because you're human?" he uttered to himself and flopped down into the chair in front of the table.

Using my foot I dragged another chair over to sit next to the Master, the egg cradled within my palms. Did it get warmer? Or was it just my own body temperature spreading? It was so subtle, I closed my eyes in the hopes to make it out.

And when I did there were images. Hazy, barely to make out, but definitely there, som _ehow - smoke, black, swirling smoke in the darkness, endlessly collapsing in itself, spreading, folding, rising up like huge wings, a bird's scream, crawing..._

I fell into the darkness.

Fell.

And landed against something solid, but nonetheless soft. In my hands I still felt the egg, now hot to the touch, without burning my skin. I glanced up, finding the Master's head above me, his face wearing a look of annoyance and confusion. I must have fallen against him, or had he caught me? He pushed me back into the chair - when had I stood up?

"You're connected to it," he stated. "No idea how or why. But be careful and _don't drop it_."

"I... sorry. It just... happened. There were images." I told him of what I had seen, my voice getting quieter with every word. "Why is it so hot in here? I can barely breathe."

"It's not." The Master eyed me, chin in his hand. He then took the egg from me and placed it back into the contraption. "But you look a little feverish."

I blinked. "Be...cause of the egg?"

"No idea. Another thing I have to figure out. But until then it's safer for you not to hold it." He wriggled his forefinger to symbolize me to get closer. "Show me what you saw. Like in the mead hall. Concentrate on the vision, conjure up the images. Since you're sober, now, it won't be as hard."

I nodded and closed my eyes again, waiting for his fingers on my temples before I did what he had told. His skin was soothingly cold against mine.

"Damn, you're burning!" he called out. "What the... No, that's not from the egg."

"Wh... what's it then? Did I catch a cold or so?"

"No... that's..." His hands vanished and he shot to his feet, grabbing my wrist to tear me up with him. "Why didn't you say something, you bloody idiot?"

"Huh?"

"You're injured!"

It clicked. "Oh. Uh... yeah. Just a scratch. The dragon got me once." I carefully stroked my fingers over my side.

Without another word the Master dragged me to another desk, pushed me down into a chair and rummaged through some cupboards. "Shirt off," he growled, without looking at me. "And whatever you have below."

"Eh… How about _no_?"

I crossed my arms in front of my chest, giving the Master the yet darkest glare, when he turned around. There now were bandages and some vials in his hands.

"Oh, don't make a fuss." His grin was nasty. "You're by far not the first human I'd see naked."

"That doesn't make it better."

Not that I had a problem with people seeing me topless, but the Master somehow always managed to make these things more awkward than they had to be. He bent down to where I sat, took my chin between his fingers to make me look at him. The grin was still there.

"Off with that clothes, lil' lumin. I promise to be careful with you."

I huffed and pulled the hoodie over my head. The movement made me wince and hiss in pain. I cursed under my breath and also clasped open my bra before I dropped it onto the pile. The Master had his head buried in the cupboards again and when he turned around, there wasn't even a nasty smile.

He only shook his head. "No one ever taught you how to bandage things? That's hellishly amateurish."

"I never got in so many situations where I would have needed it," I defended myself and tried to wrap out of the bandage.

The pain had gotten even worse than in the morning, however, and I could barely move enough. So the Master took measures into his own hands. He was careful, very, and I had the weird feeling as if he tried not to do something inappropriate, even on accident.

"Damn, that doesn't look pretty."

"Not really the thing to tell a half naked woman," a joked and poked my tongue out.

There it was again, the nasty grin, although it was more amused than mean. He dropped to his haunches to take a better look at the scratches, dripped some liquid from one of his bottles on a cloth and started to clean the wounds with it. Whatever he had there stung horribly, but I clenched my teeth and didn't make a single sound. He would not see any weakness coming from _me_. And I was rather certain he was eagerly waiting to make some snarky remark about me being human, again.

"I'll take a look at your blood," he mumbled. "The claws might have been poisonous."

"Poisonous claws?"

The Master chuckled and opened a salve, which he generously applied to the wound. The stuff was cool and a little numbing at the same time.

"We're talking about a creature that's actually too heavy to fly with its wing span and that can spit exploding fireballs. And you wonder about a possible poison? Use your brain for once."

"Yeah, fine." I smiled. "Still. Does it look so bad?"

"Hm... hard to tell." He tossed me a mad grin. "I'm more skilled with inflicting those than healing."

"Figured."

From the table he produced a roll of bandages and put everything else aside, before rolling off a strip of the cloth, gesturing me to stand up. I did and let him apply a big plaster to the wound, then wrap the bandage around my torso. He still was careful not to get anywhere he wasn't supposed to, but in the end it probably was simply beyond his capability not to at least leave a snide comment.

"Want me to wrap those too? Seemed you like it flat," he said with a grin, pointing at my breasts.

I snorted. "Nah. I'm fine."

He chuckled and finished the bandage. After that I carefully slipped back into bra and hoodie.

"Why's that such an issue for humans?" the Master asked, watching me.

"What'y mean?" came my muffled reply, before my head popped out of the hoodie. The pain was a lot better, but I still felt as if I was burning up.

"First you say, humans aren't that strict with intimacy and all that stuff. But then they all make a huge fuss when anyone sees a part of them naked. And your time isn't the worst with it. Go back a few years and it would have been a scandal to even show your legs."

I laughed and nodded. "Yeah, right? I don't get it either. We all look more or less the same anyway." Carefully I stretched and bent a little to see how well I could move in the bandages. "Maybe clothes just appear... safer. They aren't armour, but in them you at least _feel_ less vulnerable? I guess." I tilted my head, glaring at the Master, who was, as always, neatly dressed in black. "Time Lords also don't run around naked. Or is that only adaption?"

"It's called style," was his smug answer.

"In _your_ case, maybe. The Doctor though..."

We both cringed at the same time.

"Anyway... Blood sample." The Master pulled open another drawer and got out an ordinary needle.

Obediently I hitched up one sleeve and held my arm out. People always tell me to look away, but somehow it had always felt safer to just watch. Like this I at least knew what was happening to me. And seeing some of my own blood slowly filling up a vessel was a weird thing anyway.

"It's strange," I mumbled, more to myself. "Just a few days ago there was only salt water in there."

"Well, stop trying to die and we won't have to patch you up anymore." His voice had sounded sarcastic, but there had still been an edge of seriousness in it.

"Pfff, it's not that I _chose_ to get into those situations. We just stumble into some crazy stuff each time we leave the doors."

However, I also hadn't done anything to _prevent_ getting dragged deeper into them. The truth was... I simply didn't care. Those adventures had distracted me a great deal from that fact, but in the end it always caught up again. In the end I was chasing one after the other tiny fragment of time where I didn't feel hollow.

"No idea how to treat a human fever, honestly," the Master grumbled when he was done. "Go, bug the Doctor about it. If I find anything weird in your blood, I'll let you know."

"Uhm... thanks."

The Master shot me a glare as if he was contemplating just putting an end to me being distracting. For good. But the worst he did, was showing me the cold shoulder and he simply threw the syringe on his desk to plainly ignore it, while his attention went back to the egg.


	49. Part VII (II)

Despite the cold reaction I kind of had the feeling the Master would look at the blood as soon as I left the room. So I did exactly that and asked the TARDIS to bring me to the Doctor instead. It probably was for the best not to think about the Master's behaviour too much. He was switching between being funny, considerate, downright dangerous or simply a prick within fractions of seconds. Maybe it simply was his character, maybe there were a thousand thoughts running through his mind at once and his mood changed according to whatever just came to the forefront. That was a thing I was familiar with. Or maybe he still was torn between hating and... well... whatever for him meant _not_ hating someone was.

The Doctor was in the console room, tinkering about on a part of the console. It appeared he had ripped it out completely to strew all gears, screws and cables over the ground.

"How do you remember where what belongs?" I wondered out loud.

His head snapped up and a goofy grin spread on his face. "Ah, there you are, Lucy! Was wondering how long it would take you to recover from that hangover. What do you think about rainforests?"

"Uh, what? Why rainforests?" Confused, I blinked at him.

"Because there is a whole rainforest...y planet near the Hlochpla nebulae. Thought we might visit. Try out the local berry cocktails. They are _infamous_!"

"Eh... no."

The Doctor's face dropped visibly, like that of a child who had just been denied a cookie.

"No adventures then? The last no-adventure didn't go so well after all."

I exhaled into a laugh. It was almost adorable to be stared at with such puppy eyes. It seemed he really loved showing people around.

"Not now. The dragon got me a little during the fight. And I'm now having a fever."

Immediately the Doctor shot up, stumbled over some parts and still managed to keep on his feet while simultaneously rushing towards me.

"It got you?! What do you mean, it _got_ you? Are you hurt? Bleeding? All internal organs intact? Where is the wound?" While babbling he hurried around me as if that would reveal anything.

I had to grab his arm to get his attention and he stumbled to a halt, almost bumping into me in the process.

"The Master bandaged it already. It's just a few scratches. But there's still the..."

"He did... _what_?"

"Uhm... bandaged the wound? And put some weird salve on it. Now it barely hurts."

"The Master?"

I blinked, once, twice and finally let go of the Doctor. "Yeah?"

A good bunch of seconds passed in which the Time Lord only stared dumbfounded at me. Eventually I raised my hand chest-high and waved a little. "You alright?" I wanted to know, half mocking, half concerned that I had done something stupid on accident.

That got the Doctor out of his stupor. He straightened, furrowed his brows, raised them, pursed his lips and finally thrust his hands into his pant pockets. "That's a first."

"What? The patching me up?"

"Yeah, it's not... Are you sure he hasn't put something dangerous on it, or-"

"I am!" I snapped and rolled my eyes. "Seriously. You act as if he's a ticking bomb."

The Doctor opened his mouth, popped one hand out of his pockets to hold a finger up and snapped his mouth shut again. The finger sunk. "Well, you can't know. But actually, yes. He usually is."

I shrugged. "Then go, give him a head pat."

That made him grin for a second, but his face turned serious fast. "I'll watch him. Since we're together he did change, after all. Somewhat. Only a little. I'm never sure it's only a facade or real, but... well... you have a fever. Fevers aren't good. Come, I have something for it."

While striding past me, he somehow managed to grab my hand to drag me along. On instinct I winced and tried to get free, but quickly calmed. He didn't mean me harm, after all. And he didn't seem to think anything, doing this.

 _Is he also able to sense my thoughts?_ , I wondered, glaring at our hands and being totally unaware of the corridors we walked through. It felt so strange to hold someone's hand. In both, a good and a bad way. _Different_. But to what?

When he had abducted me, the Master had also dragged me through corridors. It seemed so long ago, the details were already blurred. It had been strange, too, to walk like that, but in a purely confusing way.

And before that? My ex-boyfriend had always avoided it, had never wanted to show any connection to me in public. One of the first red flags I had willingly ignored back then.

And before that? I remembered small fingers, much smaller than my own. Those of my nephews. I had visited so often I almost raised them, to a certain extent. Had seen them growing up, going from helpless bundles I fed with bottles to teenagers taller than myself.

And now? What did I feel? The same confusion? A vague sense of security? If things were different, would we be friends?

I almost didn't notice that we had stopped. A door opened and I found myself in the same med bay I had seen before. By now I was freezing. Stupid fever.

"You really don't look so well, Lucy. Better sit down." The Doctor gestured to one of the sick beds and stepped to the grey shelves.

Was he concerned? Would he treat simply anyone like this? Sure, a doctor wouldn't deny help, would he? But, then again seemed his name not to be his occupation. At least not in a human sense. Maybe he wasn't a doctor of medicine, but of something else. Maybe it had a completely different meaning.

"What's your real name?" I wondered aloud, recognizing my voice to be a little shaky. "Doctor isn't really a name."

He turned to face me and brought a glass of water and some pills. I downed both in one go.

"It's the name I chose. Because it's what I wanted to be," explained the Doctor. "Someone who helps and heals."

"I see... You allow me to stay out of some sense of duty."

The Doctor's face dropped and went sad. A tired sigh escaped his lungs as he swiped a hand over his face.

"Sort of, yeah. We talked about that already and you know I..."

"It's okay." I smiled up at him and chuckled at his confused expression. "I prefer honesty over politeness. And... back in the console room..." I hesitated, unsure if my observation was correct.

"Yeah?"

"Well, you immediately asked if I wanted to go somewhere. That's... would you hate me, that probably wouldn't be a thing on your mind."

I felt genuine happiness when he suddenly smiled widely. The memories of my nephews returned for a moment and I had to think that he was a lot like them, when they had been little. Which was weird, because of his age. And he did seem to be very capable of being all serious and even dangerous. In stark contrast to this childish expression of joy. Well... alien. Somehow I kept forgetting the fact.

"You know what? That medicine of yours seems to be working quite well."

"Why, of course it does!"

"And, as it seems, I have two options."

The Doctor slightly tilted his head and nodded to show me to continue.

"Either I try and stay away from you. You wouldn't have to content with me, wouldn't have to bother..."

"Lucy, I don't..."

I stopped him by holding up a hand with a smile. "Or, what I would prefer myself, we simply get to know one another. I don't know if we can become friends. I... would hope we could. But it would be at least nice to be on friendly _terms_."

The Doctor chuckled into his fist. "Always ever so logic. And you have something in mind, I see that. Tell."

"Uhm, nothing special, actually. Just thought... I'm obviously not up for something big, right now. But let's just have a _small_ adventure? Like... really small and-we're-back-for-dinner-adventure?"

"Oh, I like how that sounds! Are you okay enough for that? Don't try to cover up how you feel."

I cringed at that, because he had hit a point there. "I... don't know. But I always get bored when I have to stay in sick bed. And I hate being bored. I... hate being alone with my own thoughts."

"Mhm... I get that." He hooked his thumbs into his pockets and bobbed up and down on his heels. "How about... we simply go somewhere nice and have a coffee? You like coffee."

I giggled and nodded. "I definitely do. And I bet you know a fancy place to have some. You now," I drawled with a hopeful smile, "something with exotic alien creatures and stuff?"

"You like that, huh?" The Doctor showed me a big, approving grin, then his eyes widened. "Ohhhh! I know exactly _the_ place!"

"That's what you said the last time. And then we stumbled into Skyrim." I sighed, but grinned. "Alright. Lead the way."

* * *

.

* * *

"Doctor... is that..."

"It is! Brilliant! Isn't it?"

He beamed from ear to ear, leading the way to the entrance of what seemed to be an enormous park. And not just any.

"It's a zoo," I finally stated the obvious, blinking surprised while I watched what seemed to be humans running around and taking photos. This, obviously wasn't on earth though. And the animals... "An alien zoo."

The Doctor flashed his wallet at the entrance.

"Oh, you're from the security inspection!" The woman behind the glass gasped and handed us two tickets. "I won't tell anyone. And..." She leaned a little forward. "Could you take a look at the jarogya cage? They escape so often, it's unbelievable!"

"Oh, we definitely will!" The Doctor beamed a toothy grin at the lady and we slipped into the park.

"Security? How did you get her to believe _that_?" Suspiciously I eyed him from the side.

"Psychic paper." He tossed his wallet at me and I glanced inside, finding a white piece of paper in it. "Shows you what you want to see, expect to see."

"I see nothing."

"Think of something. Something..." He drawled, looking into the air while walking. "Something you... maybe something you would like to happen?"

Something I would like to happen. I had no idea what to pick and blankly stared at the paper, my eyes widening when some letters appeared on it - in a strangely sharp, but elegant handwriting.

 _I know you think I hate you. But you_ are _important, don't forget that._

My heart leaped to my throat as I recognized the handwriting. I swallowed and blinked away some tears that had come out of nowhere. Was that really something I wanted?

With a deep sigh I closed the wallet and handed it back to the Doctor. "That's cool. You have to tell me how that works, someday. But let's enjoy the zoo, for now." Once more I took a breath, then smiled.

"Right! Then on we go!" The Doctor clapped his hands, swiftly grabbed mine again and we meandered through the crowd. "The people you see here are humans, if you were wondering. We're in the eighty-sixth century on the colonized planet Florsch. Named after an incident with a space travelling seashell... long story. The colonists decided to make this place a home for endangered species. Collect them all over the reachable universe."

I glared at our joined hands and pursed my lips, contemplating to tell him that this wasn't exactly human tradition or anything. But while I listened I decided to just go with it. It wasn't as if this would hurt me or anything. And maybe Time Lords needed this contact to form connections with others? A thing I decided to ask another day.

We visited countless of cages, compounds, aquariums, aerial spaces and whatnot. Some places needed to be entered through a special tube because the air pressure inside was different. In one such places lived a species of huge creatures that seemed to consist of only three legs and no perceivable body. The fourth actually was a snout with which they dug out food from the ground.

Others required us to wear oxygen masks, because the species inside were breathing different air. Like that we visited translucent butterflies and a species of big blue ant-things that lived in symbiosis with a certain kind of tree.

One small guided tour occurred in a submarine and showed tiny fish like creatures, but with hands. They had built whole, tiny cities below the water and waved at us, when our vessel floated by.

There were birds and mammals and apes and all the things you would imagine finding in a zoo. And so many more that I could impossibly list or describe them all. The Doctor, of course, knew most of them and had many stories to tell, not all of them his own, but many.

In between we also had our coffee and chatted with some of the locals. Well, the Doctor did most of the talking. And waffles! They had real waffles! Way too sweet and hot and just so deliciously reminding me of childhood visits to zoos. I probably sat there, grinning like an idiot while eating it.

We also found the jarogya species. As it turned out, they were a small combination of cats and monkeys. And so absolutely adorable that I wished they would escape, just so I could smuggle one out and keep it. But, for today, they were right where they belonged.

When the sun set we leaned on a chest high brick wall, watching some bio luminescent whales lazily breaking through the surface of an enormous basin that looked like a lake. By now I was tired, but still content and feeling weirdly nostalgic. Today I had truly felt like a child again, experiencing all those weird and foreign creatures. It reminded me of the few times my dad had visited zoos with us when we had been little. Just him, my big sister and I. If my mother had ever come along I couldn't recall. Somehow my brain had erased that detail, which maybe was for the better.

"Why are you doing that?" the Doctor asked, and when I turned to give him a questioning look, I saw his tilted head and raised eyebrows. "That smile just now," he explained. "You smile, but look sad doing so. That's not right."

I laughed at that, unable to explain it. How could I?

"That's not funny. If you smile, then why are you sad? And if you're sad, why do you smile? That's two contradicting emotions at once. It's like you're malfunctioning."

" _Beep beep boop?_ " I answered, tilting my head to one side and laughed again at his utterly confused face. Playfully I slapped his arm. "Don't think about it, Doctor. It's... not important."

He gave me a sad look, one that made my smile drop instantly, one that told me he knew of pain much worse than mine.

During the day we definitely had laid aside some of the differences between us. Getting to know each other... that had been the goal, after all. And not having to worry about any dangers had made the whole experience quite enjoyable. I had no idea what he had learned about me, that day, but what I had learned about the Doctor, was that he was funny and bubbly and always tried to be there for people. Many of his stories had showed me that he was always eager to help, to fix things, to be kind. And while it could be annoying at time, I still came to appreciate this site of him.

So, seeing such a look in his eyes, now, made my stomach churn and I felt the urge to somehow cheer him up a little. And that made me sad again, because... I had no idea how. One of the many things I had never found out how to do in a proper way. No matter what I tried, it usually ended in everyone getting mad at me and telling me I'm an ice block.

"Oh no!" he exclaimed. "I shouldn't have said that, should I? Now you're properly sad. Which is good. I mean bad. But not confusing anymore, you know?"

I bumped my shoulder against his and smiled. "It's alright. Let's talk about something funny. It was such a nice day. Maybe I just got tired."

His eyebrows shot up once again, but it seemed he accepted my excuse - for now. A smile reappeared on his features. "Right, it's late already. Let's head back and I'll give you more meds for the night. Does that sound good?"

"It does."

Together we strolled back, this time not visiting anything except what we passed anyway. Somewhere we found a small shop with souvenirs and the Doctor ran inside, delightedly. With a childish glint in his eyes he showed me some of the weird looking plushies and figurines they had to sell. I made fun of some t-shirts and flags and could convince him to use his psychic paper so we could take along a few of the items.

My first souvenir from another planet. A small figurine of a jarogya.

"Hey, let's take a few waffles back," I suggested. "For the Master."

The Doctor opened his mouth as if to protest, but quickly closed it again. "Well... he'll probably throw them away, though."

I shrugged. "Worth the risk."

The walk back to the TARDIS was spent in a comfortable silence. The evening was cool and smelled of fresh air. Inside, the Doctor gave me a few more pills. One for today and one for when I would wake up.

"Thanks," I said, giving him a smile. "That was a great day."

"It was!" He smiled back. "And your idea also was great. Way better than hiding from each other."

I chuckled and walked to the doors. "Yeah, definitely. Good night, Doctor."

"Ah, I'm not sleeping. Not now, don't need to... oh... I mean... yeah. Good night, Lucy." He wriggled his fingers in a small wave and strode away, leaving me to my own.


	50. Part VII (III)

The TARDIS led me to the library, where I found the Master. He sat in a comfy armchair, wearing earbuds and having a thick old tome in hands.

It made me wonder what type of music he might listen to. Probably something to overtone the constant drumming noise in his head.

The Master heard, or sensed, me coming. His hand halted in turning a page, his head lifted slightly, eyes wandering to the small tinfoil package in my hands. Since he didn't remove the earplugs I wordlessly handed him the waffles and strode away again, to get a good night's rest.

"You visited Florsch?"

I turned around, seeing him opening the package to take out a waffle and bite into it. "Haven't been there in ages." There was a small smile on his face.

"Yeah. It was really cool there. Didn't think you would know the place."

The Master gave me a funny look. "Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?"

I huffed. "For one, it's still standing."

The rest of the waffle vanished and he chuckled, licking his fingers. "I'm not so dumb to destroy every place I visit. Only the boring ones. Or those which annoy me."

"So, a human made zoo is neither?" I eyed him suspiciously.

"Great study materials. Don't have to run all over the galaxy to get samples."

The second waffle vanished in record time, giving me the suspicion that samples - however he might get those - weren't his only reason. I decided to leave him with them, not actually awaiting a thanks.

"I checked your blood."

Once more I turned back, slightly annoyed that he waited with talking until I wanted to go. A slightly mischievous glint in his eyes told me this was definitely not a coincidence.

"And you found…?"

The Master shrugged and bit into the last waffle. "Nothing. You're good."

I blinked. "That's all?"

"Thought you might want to know."

"And…?"

There was a pause. The Master never left me with his eyes until the last bite was gone. Afterwards he licked his fingers clean, crumbled the tinfoil to a ball and threw it at me.

With a harmless 'plopp' it bounced against my arm and rolled away a few centimetres. The Master answered my annoyed look with a smug, childish grin, leaned back in his arm chair, where he propped both elbows on the armrests and folded his hands.

"I made some tests," he finally announced. "Wanted to see if the egg would react to it."

"And it doesn't."

One of his eyebrows shot up. "How would _you_ know?"

I shrugged. "A wild guess."

"Then guess how it reacts to your DNA."

"Not at all? Why's that important? You wouldn't make such a scene-" I waved over his posture- "because of nothing."

He grinned. "Smart." And he ignored my eye roll. "I'm not sure what it means. Aside from the fact that it's _not_ something biological it reacts to… It's _you_."

Although the implication had been there the whole time, having it spoken out, now, made it only stranger. What did (could) I have to do with a dragon's egg? Their mother had shown me some vision, true, but she could have picked everyone else. Or was that the connection?

"Is it because the dragon connected to my mind, somehow?"

The Master slowly nodded. "Might be. Although it raises the question, why it did that. I'm not sure you noticed, but the dragon never directly attacked you. And it had plenty of opportunity to rip you into tiny, bloody pieces." There was a nasty, teasing smile on his lips.

Silence spread between us, neither having a real clue where to go from here. In the end I just sighed and turned halfway to leave.

"I need some sleep. Let's figure this out tomorrow."

There came no answer, so I strode away and simply took his silence as a confirmation.

* * *

.

* * *

The night was uneventful. Some hope blossomed within me that the nightmares had found an end, even though I kept getting glimpses, afterimages of how they had felt… Like a bad taste you can't get rid of.

I took care of the wound, was careful to wrap the bandages how the Master had done it and took the last pill afterwards. The fever seemed to be gone and the scratch was healing astonishingly well. Probably due to the salve.

Afterwards I went to the kitchen, greeting the TARDIS on my way. She hummed happily and I complimented her on the good coffee. This time I also had a small breakfast before I went to see the Master.

He was in the same room as yesterday, again wearing earplugs when I entered. His hand drummed on the table.

Tap - tap - tap - tap.

I wasn't sure whether he knew I was there and approached slowly. The egg sat in its contraption, not glowing or doing anything else. There were papers with handwriting strewn over the table and some with complex looking circular symbols on them. I remembered having seen those before.

The Master still didn't move. Only tapped his rhythm with closed eyes. But then his lids crept open, revealing almost black pupils swallowing the hazel. There was a void in his gaze, an absence of awareness, of sanity.

He didn't see me.

Tap - tap - tap - tap

I swallowed a lump in my throat, unsure what to do. It felt as if he was in pain, as if the drumming would tear through him like a glowing knife.

Tap - tap - tap - tap

Carefully I leaned closer and placed my hand over his. The tapping stopped and for a good minute nothing else happened.

"Lumin?" he mumbled eventually, eyes creeping open.

I retreated my hand and stepped back, waiting. The Master groaned and removed the ear plugs, running a hand over his face. It took him some moments to look at me and there was a tiredness on his face that made me swallow.

"Long night?" I asked, knowing it wasn't the case, knowing he didn't need as much sleep, knowing that what tormented him was not something so simple.

He huffed. "Yeah. Centuries long."

I halfway sat on the table next to him, lightly folding my arms. "What are they?"

The Master bent his head back, taking some deep breaths. When he glanced back at me, he seemed a little clearer.

"There is a gap in the fabric of reality. If you look inside you can see all of time and space. All at once, no filters, nothing to prevent _everything_ from rushing into your soul." His voice was unfamiliarly soft. I stayed silent, only listened. "When we're eight years old, we are brought to this untempered Schism. They force us to look inside." He swallowed, looked at me, through me. "It hurts, little one. Oh it hurts."

"Wh… why do they do that to you?" I almost whispered.

He shrugged. "A rite of passage. A method to select. For some it reveals great secrets and are then able to advance the entire race, some others are simply overtaken by fear and some…"

The Master closed his eyes, his mouth twitched as if from a sudden pain. The memory itself was only unpleasant, but its result was burned into him like a mark.

"The drums," I muttered into the growing silence.

"Some go completely insane," he told in a low voice. "Kids we grew up with never returned. The stories we heard, whispered in dark bedrooms in the academy… some screaming until their lungs burst, others trying to claw out their own eyes. And worse… Oh, so much worse."

For a while he seemed lost in that memory.

There was no way for me to comprehend why anyone would do this. It seemed unnecessarily cruel. Just to get a few that might look beyond. Was that really worth it?

Then again…

"But why do _I_ have an effect on them?"

The Master glared at me. Was it contempt? Hatred? Was it even directed at me, personally? The look softened and he sighed.

"I do have a theory, but…" He paused, absently glaring past me.

"The life force?"

He blinked at me and a second later suddenly laughed out. "I keep forgetting how smart you are." He chuckled some more and rose from his seat.

Smart? A blush crept up my neck and I could barely keep myself from grinning. "Just seemed logical. There's nothing else that connects us."

"No?" Why was there such an amused twinkle in his eyes as he approached? "That's probably good then, isn't it?" his lips twitched mischievously, but at the same time there was a shadow fading over his features. "It means I can break and bend you all I want." He leaned down, stroked a finger over my cheek. "I can make you my puppet, a mere toy on strings. I can command you to follow each and every order of mine, without ever saying a word."

I flinched away from his touch… and from the newly blossoming madness in his gaze. Even though he'd seemed so calm, just now, the drums were still raging in his head, clouding his sanity.

"Don't. Move," he whispered, glaring into my eyes.

And my body froze, obeying his order. Fear rose within me. What would he do to me? Why did he hypnotize me like that?

The Master circled around me with slow steps, hands clasped behind his back. Eventually he took the egg from its contraption.

"Open your hands."

I did, held them together, palms facing upwards. The scaly egg landed within them and we both watched how the purple veins faintly started to glow again.

"Now-" the Master glared at me- "Hold it. Don't let go. Don't move away. Don't eat or drink or sleep." With every word his look got darker, almost angry. He opened a door to another, smaller room and pushed me inside, then roughly grabbed my arm to twirl me around, so I had to face him. "When something happens, call out. Otherwise don't dare to bother me. Understood, ape?"

I had no choice but to nod and, even after the door fell shut in front of my nose, it took a perceived effort to even turn my head. All thoughts were clouded and foggy, as if I had lost my capacity to think. I should be furious, mad and angry… But I found nothing the like within me.

* * *

.

* * *

If the hypnotism wore off over time or if my mind simply found ways to work around it is beyond my knowledge. But after some minutes I could move again, was able to walk away from the door and inspect the room.

It was a storage of some kind and also a place to rest and be left alone. Shelves upon shelves lined the walls, filled with books and loose papers, objects of all sorts, instruments to measure whatever. There also was a dark green sofa that was also filled with books, but otherwise looked clean.

I flopped down on it, moved some books away with one hand and grabbed a random one to peek inside. My other hand kept holding the egg. I wasn't able to set it down, even when I tried. I also couldn't bring myself to leave the room.

_Bugger!_

The books were at least interesting, although it was hard to concentrate on anything. My awareness kept sliding back to the egg to observe it. The purple veins glowed quietly, in time with my breath. I held it closer to my face, removed my specs and examined the delicate pattern on the shell. It seemed sturdy, covered in tiny versions of the dragon's black scales.

After a few useless attempts to read I finally gave up, curled myself together on the sofa and just glared at the egg in my hands.

* * *

.

* * *

At some point I must have fallen asleep. I can't tell what woke me up, maybe it were the images of black smoke, wings and the screams of crows, maybe it was the hypnotism that forced me to keep an eye on the egg. Maybe it was the sound of the door opening. Maybe it was the faint heartbeat I felt in my fingers, intermingled with the sensation of warmth.

I knew the Master had come in, but my eyes still kept glued to the egg. I didn't imagine it. There really was a heartbeat, and the shell was much warmer than it could have gotten from my body heat alone.

The Master stepped in front of the sofa, his shadow falling over me. I turned away and around to face the backrest, cradling the egg between my hands. I knew the drums drove him to do mean and stupid things, but I was still mad at him. I didn't want to talk, didn't want to see him. I wanted to be alone with my egg, wanted to feel the faint heartbeat of the tiny creature inside.

"Turn around, lil' lumin. I can take away the hypnotism."

The words were softly, spoken, maybe even meant as an apology.

I didn't budge.

"You're mad at me."

It was a fact, not a question, maybe a little amused. I felt a weight settling down behind me, closed my fingers around the warm shell. After some moments the Master leaned closer, tried to catch a glance at the egg, but I hid it with my hands and curled together some more.

He sighed, sat back and did nothing else for a bit. Eventually, though, he shifted, changed position. His arm went on the backrest. I felt him against my back, sensed hesitation I couldn't explain.

"It's only been two or three hours," he mumbled. "Must have felt much longer to you." His fingers lightly drummed his rhythm against the backrest. "I know I commanded you not to speak… But if you wanna yell at me I need to lift the hypnotism."

I smiled at that and quietly chuckled to myself. But I had no desire to yell and also none to turn. All I wanted was to drift away again and hold the tiny spark of life. My eyes closed on their own, already.

And for some moments it seemed I really had fallen asleep once more. Vaguely I got aware of movement, of touch. There was a hand on my head, gently stroking through my short hair. But no, I didn't dream.

"Stubborn little light." The Master chuckled.

The fingers remained, played with my hair, twirled some strands, combed through others. There was such a softness in his movements, it made me sigh and lean into the touch a little.

"You guard that egg well. That's good." It sounded as if he smiled fondly. "It's a precious thing. Maybe even unique."

I uncurled a little to glance at the small object. The Master leaned over me again and did the same, watched the pulsating glow. He sighed and stopped playing with me.

"Look, I know you're mad…"

"'m not," I mumbled.

A surprised silence filled the small room, then a short laugh. "You already broke through the hypnotism yourself? That's quite remarkable."

Finally I turned a little and peeked up at the Master. "Is it?"

"Mh-mhh." He smiled and the tips of his finger glided over my head a little. "Speaks of a strong mind. Oh, so much stronger than you're willing to admit." he grimaced and retreated his hand. "What a petty. I wish you weren't so important." He leaned closer down to me, something ancient and indeed evil shining through his eyes. "Then I could just crush you."

I flinched at his words and scrambled into a sitting position, trying to get farther away in the process. One hand kept clutching the egg, pressed it protectively against my chest. His eyes hungrily fixated on it.

"Give it to me," the Master commanded and held a hand out.

I shook my head, even though I could feel his hypnotism scratch my mind.

"You can't do anything with it," I muttered and licked my dry lips. "It doesn't want you."

The warm pulsating in my hand, the faint heartbeat. He wouldn't feel it, would only drown the developing creature in his own darkness.

The Master let his hand sink, his brows knitted together angrily. I took a step back, bumped against a shelf and grabbed a small black sphere, roughly the same size as the egg, I knew sat there.

He put on a smile. "Come on, don't be mad anymore. Nothing happened to you."

I huffed. "Yet. And that you want to crush me doesn't make anything better."

"Can't help it." He laughed out. "Humans are just a bother."

"Yeah… We are. We, too, love to break things."

With that I threw the small sphere into a corner of the room, watched the Master following with his eyes, then jumping up to follow.

And I ran, bolted out of the door and out of the other room, rushed into the TARDIS' corridors. A golden light appeared on the floor, leading me away and around two or three curves, before halting in front of the console room.

"Perfect, thank you." I grinned and let the egg vanish into a pocket of my hoodie.

The Master wouldn't risk the Doctor finding out about it.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to everyone who reads and/or takes a moment to comment. :3
> 
> Stay sane and healthy!


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